Feel like I'm Losing It!! Yelling Too Much:)

You need some down time.
Hire a sitter to look after the kids (or find a drop in daycare) and take a nap or a bubble bath or go see a movie.
When you've caught up on some sleep you won't yell as much.

We all can relate to what you're saying.
Hey what I found out is if you really want to get their attention?
Start whispering!
Seriously, it works!

Ugh, I hear ya, I remember. I used to have a cool neighbor who would occasionally pop over around 9 pmish with a couple cold ones in her hand and say something like "Well since your windows were open today, I figured you could use a beer". Hehehehe.

Wish I could do that for you, too.

Hang in there, give yourself a break already.

:)

I read somewhere that if you will open all your windows, you are more
conscience of being overheard by the neighbors. You might begin
speaking very low so your child will have to work harder to hear you.
It broke me of the habit a ton of years ago. It helped me to regroup
and be more conscience of being more in control of my behavior.
Good luck.

we all have bad days, we all get angry and lose out tempers. Its easy for me to tell you to breath! to relax! to look on the bright side!
It could be worse -- I've always hated that phrase. It is OF NO HELP!!
I know how you feel, you are not alone. when I would feel like I was losing my mind with the mess or the constant "put your toy away, I already told you 20 times" (I had a 1 and 3 yr old at the time) I'd "lock" up the house, close EVERY DOOR in the place, move the coffee table, lay blankets and pillows and a couple stuffed animals on the floor, and put a movie on, tv on very low volume. the girls usually fell asleep. I couldn't careless about the mess. I got a chance to rest too. when we woke up we all felt much better. and my husband knew if he saw blankets and pillows in the living room, mama's had a rough day! LOL
Find something that will work for you even if it only gives you a few minutes of peace.

Your not alone. I tend to yell too much too. Its something I'm working on :( I've turned into my dad. He was always quick to get mad and my mom had the patience of a saint. I hated that he was always grumpy and yelled at me for everything. I always loved that my mom was nice and listened to me. Why oh why did I end up like my dad? I do love him, and he is a good guy. Just always had a short fuse.

Anyone who tells you they haven't done this is lying. We all have our "moments". We're human. I was in a very similar situation and it is HARD, you feel very alone. If you can't take a break you will have to take some time for yourself. Before they get up, during naps, and after they're in bed you need to replenish yourself. If you're not getting enough sleep, I'd nap when they do. Get up early to have some coffee and quiet time to pray, look at the news etc. Make sure you get your shower and dressed before they get up to or you might not have time later. At night, do something you enjoy before bed. My heart is with you. Best of luck. Take care of YOU!

When my kids were little, the car was my best friend. We would load up and go find a park somewhere or the library or just drive. The car does what I ask without complaining, the kids were secure and we all got a change of scenery. We would all return home with an attitude adjustment and it just seemed to make everything better.

I imagine every mama on this site understands your dilemma. Every single one.

Recognizing a problem and trying to solve it is NOT the mark of a failure. It's the mark of a wise woman.

Sit down soon, when you can, and make a written list of anything and everything you can think of that leads to the yelling. Do it as if you were somebody else observing you. You'll see physical and mental fatigue on the list, along with that feeling that no one listens, too little good nourishment going into your body, and a number of other things.

Write down what else you feel like when you get upset. Do you feel like delivering a lecture to your child? What else do you feel like doing? Seeing all the contributing factors written down in black and white is an important step.

You can't solve all those things on that list, but the yelling you can deal with. As others have written, whispering when you feel like yelling can often do wonders. (It sometimes works on husbands, too.) PLAN that things will take longer than you want them to, PLAN that there will be interruptions, and PLAN breaks for every day. Don't put too much on your to-do list if you can help it. Make time every day, even if it's ten minutes, to have fun and goof off with your little ones; make it a priority up there with brushing your teeth.

(By the way, it's a mark of some mothers - in every generation - actually to feel a sense of value in becoming frustrated, being overworked, and losing control. It tells them that they work hard! If that is something that gives you value - I hope it isn't - get rid of the idea as fast as you can. There are better standards by which to evaluate yourself.)

Asking for help can be wonderful, too. I don't know how old all your children are, but you can say, "I have a bad habit! When I get upset, I start shouting, without even thinking twice about it. I don't want to yell at you! So will you tell me when I start up? If you say, 'Mama, you've started yelling,' that will help me to stop." Kids LOVE to correct their parents' behavior! Maybe you can even make yourself a penny bank so that your children can see you put a penny in it whenever you - or they - catch you turning your volume up.

You don't have to be a perfect mother! You just need to do the best you can, and that's why posting this problem is so good. I remember the frustrations when my children were all little and my husband was (justifiably) busy with his job. We didn't have relatives nearby, either. I wish I had done a better job of it all. But I don't seem to have damaged them very much, and they are very dear to me. You'll be fine, too.

Oh hon, I am there with you. That is my biggest issue, in fact. I always feel like I am yelling. Like I'm a crab, and not really "enjoying' my kids.
I wish I had a solution, but I get out on my own plenty and it's still not enough to take the edge off.

No words of wisdom here. Just wanted to share that we are in the exact same boat...as I sure you will find a ton out here.

No, you are not alone. Having young children (and especially one with special needs) is not easy. We've all been there. I've been there (at one point, I had my 6yr old son, who's on the spectrum, going through his tantrum phase, his 3yr old sister who was just a *very* high maintenance child, and the 18 month old who was outgrowing her naps and refused to sit in the stroller), so I really do know how you feel and what you're going through. It's just so hard sometimes, isn't it?

You're doing the best you can, I did the best I could. But for a long time, there was just no relief. I had no family nearby and my husband worked long hours. I got pregnant right after we'd moved, so I hadn't had time to make any friends or build a support system yet. For a long time, it was me and these three small people who I loved more than I could possibly imagine...who drove me UP A WALL on a regular basis. It's amazing how overwhelming love and relentless guilt can live side by side in your heart, isn't it?

It gets better. It really does. My kids are 16, 13 and 11 now and I cannot tell you how vividly awful those early years were compared to now. Sure, the kids far from perfect, and teens/pre-teens come with a whole other set of issues. But I'm not exhausted anymore and I rarely yell anymore (I still do, sometimes, I'm not perfect, you know!).

Please hang in there. Forgive yourself for your perceived shortcomings. You ARE exhausted. But you are NOT failing your kids. What you're going through might be the most difficult stage. Those years certainly were the most difficult for me. And my kids are NOT scarred for life from me snapping or yelling at them occasionally when they were little. They're pretty darn well-adjusted, in fact, even the formerly tantrum-throwing one that's on the spectrum.

We have all been there!

Stress for me is the biggest cause.

Get a hobby, set aside 1 hr a day for you. Phone with a friend, coffee, walk. read. what ever (it can be done after the kids are alseep).

Get everyone a yoga mat and do family yoga. (at least you and the kids)

Protein for you and the kids every few hrs. They will listen better, and you will not be so short with low blood suger.

start a positive jar. - every night or every few nights think of what made you smile, write it down and put it in the jar. When you are have a bad moment, pull them out and read them. It will help relax you.

Find a daycare for 1 day a week or 1 day every other week for the kids.. give your slef a day to chill, or catch up on the cleaning. Get a massage, pedi, mani, it is your day.

We have the YMCA they do kids night out every month. We bring the kids there and we get to have a nice dinner with each other. We can talk uninterupted and we are not as exhausted as we are during the week.

Try to whisper, they might respond better.

Good luck.

J., you need help. Yelling at a 2 1/2 year old isn't going to fix anything. But you know that already.

What can you do to fix this? Acknowledging that it's a problem is the first thing. You're doing that. Accepting that you have a problem with anger is the next step. Look, there are women, even here on this site, who have escalated from yelling at their kids to using a belt on them. So you are wise to be trying to get help NOW before you go down this road and LOSE YOUR KIDS when they are old enough to turn away from you.

Go talk to your pediatrician. Tell him or her that you need help dealing. Ask for a counselor. Do it so that the years ahead aren't so hard. Sending you virtual hugs...

Google orange rhino. Hang in there.

You are worn out. Also, you don't say how old you are. I never yelled at my kids until I started menopause - and I have stressful job and a problematic marriage. Could that be it? If not, figure out a way to get a break. Can you put the little one in a half-day/two day a week program? Just to get a break.

Sending you a huge HUG!!!

Yelling is my pitfall :( I have slowly learned to let it stay in my head. But when I'm tired it all comes tumbling out. I do "quiet couch time" with my kids. It consists of pillows, blankets, a darkened room, and a quiet movie.

is there any chance that you are taking oral birth control pills? here's why I ask.

I've taken them most of my life. Then last spring I was a raging lunatic...everything pissed me off and I mean PISSED me off! I was almost confrontational with rude people in stores I had zero patience for my kids, co workers and husband...I was downright stressed out and felt angry all the time. So I told my mom how crazy I felt and how angry I was and she said "that's so weird...have they changed any of your medications?" I said mom I'm only on birth control and thyroid? I don't really take anything...and then at that exact moment I remembered that in February they changed the birth control pill I was taking. I called my doctor and asked if this could be making me feel angry and irritated, etc? They made an appointment to see me (to rule out that I wasn't depressed or anything) and he looked at his records and sure enough the one they switched me to contained higher estrogen than the previous brand...my doctor said that estrogen is the hormone that makes women...."bitches??", I said? LOL "not the word I was looking for but yes" said my doctor! haha
they put me on a pill that had low estrogen and I was myself again.
I would have never thought that a birth control pill could affect me mentally (physically too! I was so angry that my blood pressure was actually elevated and I usually have the lowest blood pressure!)

Having small children is touhh and being tired escalates the situation and your son requires more attention...so everything you feel would completely qualify as a normal reaction... hand in there momma!

I have the same issue.

I am actively working on it. I try to calm myself down before I yell too much, but it's not always possible.

One thing that really helps is owning up to it when you know you overreacted, without placing too much of the blame on the kid.

Like when my 4 yo daughter just pushes me too far and I snap, I try to go to her immediately and apologize for yelling. It may go something like, "Mommy was feeling very frustrated because you kept yelling while I was on the phone, but I should not have yelled at you like that. I'm sorry for yelling. I promise to try hard not to yell so much, and I need you to help me by being a good listener. Can you help me stop yelling?"

I also have started warning her before I get to the blowup point... "Ok, you are starting to make me feel really frustrated. I need you to ______. "

Hi J., I totally know how you feel, I have felt the same way too. What I found is stress is a common, natural thing, and learning how to handle it is key. There is a great talk on TED called How to Make Stress your Friend by Kelly McGonigal. the 15 mins you take to watch it may just change your life.

Here is what else I know, stress can be handled with the right nutrition. I am going to send you PM with links to a couple of products that are simply AMAZING. Trust me. Your kids will LOVE you for it.

B.

Amy J., she does not need a sermon. Who knows? That dad may have been a model dad every day except that day that you were judging him.