Fear of Heights

You don't have to balme yourself. Some children perceive heights differently than others and have what an occupational or physical therapist might term gravitational insecurity. I would get a referral from your pediatrician for an evaluation and see if he qualifies for some services which would involve some exercises and activities. Be patient and supportive and respect his fear because it is very. very real for him. Imagine if someone asked you to climb up the side of a skyscraper and how this would feel for you. You would not know how and would feel terrified. This is how your son probably perceives much smaller distances. The good news is that it can be corrected but do not wait too long to get intervention as it easier to solve when a child is young. Good luck!

Yes you probably created his fear, but dont feel guilty. We as parents do the best we can with the knowledge we have and you were trying to keep him safe. Has he ever fallen from a chair or something a few feet off the ground? Perhaps the fear of falling is because he doesnt know what will happen. Can you get access to a trampoline? Perhaps jumping on it with you and falling down in a heap will make him realize its isnt the end of the world to fall.
My young son loved baseball, but didnt want to bat, because he was very afraid of being hit by the ball. Then one day he got hit in the outfield and realized that, yes it hurt, but it wasnt as bad as he thought it would be.

This may not actually be your fault. Your child may have difficulty processing sensory information (not as scary as it sounds). He may have trouble processing visual information, which is why heights are so upsetting to him, or movement information from his inner ear (which affects balance). This is different from having a visual problem requiring glasses--I'm referring to one where the brain and the eyes have difficulty communicating about what is being seen. How did your child do with his developmental milestones? Did he crawl before he walked? Was he a late walker? Has he always been cautious with things like swings and slides? How is his overall gross motor coordination? It might not be a bad idea to ask your doctor for a referral to an occupational therapist experienced in sensory integration, to rule it out. Once you rule out a sensory processing issue, then you can look into other ways of helping your child. I also recommend reading "The Out Of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. It's a very parent-friendly, easy to read book about the subject. Patience, gentleness, and sensitivity on your part will help your child through this. He's 7 now, so he will have the ability to work through it with you, once you figure out the root cause. Good luck, and please post an update when you can!

Young children are very awear of and pick up on adults fears and attitudes about things.....but Please do not be hard on yourself or feel guilty for this as you did what you thought was best in keeping your child safe. This is a problem that with time, patience and a little work can in fact be turned around.

I would start off with taking your son to the mall and playground during hours you know these places aren't busy and slowly work on the fears with him.......

At the playground let him watch you climb the same things he's afraid of...go up and down, laugh and make it look like it's a lot of fun to do. Don't prompt him to join you, just let him watch and get used to seeing you do this....after several times of this... Then bring him to the playground when it's busy...together just watch the other children climb...say positive things like "gee, these children seem to be having a good time climbing." "Oh look at that one, he's hanging upside down, how wonderful" etc. etc. Still don't prompt him to try...just watch. Then one day bring him to the playground during a time when it's not busy, better if it's empty.....climb something he is afraid of, come down and invite him to join you. If he's not ready to try, don't push it...If he's willing to try, take it slow and easy...stay a long side him and stop when he wants to stop and safely take him down. Tell him he did good and ask if he'd like to try again...if he says no...don't push it.. Each time you go and work with him, you should see some little improvements...tell him how great he's doing. Know the process will take time... Also take him to the playground when it's busy as well and let him just be. At some point he will totally surprise you...

At the esculator pretty much do the same but go with a friend who has a child the same age who's not afraid if that's possible. Stand with your son on the bottom of the esculator watching your friend with her child riding up and down several times. Then ask your friend to stand with him while they watch you go up and down....smile and wave to him.. Then try putting both children on the same step to ride together...Your friend on one step in front, and you one step below...with your hand on your son so he knows you are right behind him. When your done doing this, tell him how proud you are of him. Treat the children to ice cream or something they like and remember the process with this will also take time....

The more you practice and do this with your child, he'll begin to see and understand you aren't afraid, and he will begin to experience himself that there is nothing to be afraid...just take it slow.

I am in the same boat as you. I am very interested to see the responses you get. I too have a 7 year old (girl) who is afraid of heights. For example: she had a panice attack the other day because we had front row mezzanine seats at a play, also when we went to the Bronx Zoo she wouldn't get within 2 feet of the half-wall in front of the exhibits with a floor that was lower than her feet on the other side. I don't know how to help her, it is so upsetting to see her panic.
I wish you lots of luck helping your son,
R. F.

I'm not too crazy about heights and my parents didn't do anything to create this fear. It's all me. My son also doesn't care for heights and again there was nothing I did; just his nature. Having said that you need to work with him to do things in every day life that involve heights. Going up and down an escalator or stairs needs to be not a big deal. At 7 he's able to communicate well so try talking it out ahead of time and giving a lot of praise when it's over. He'll probably never be one of the kids on top of the high climbing stuff and that's ok. He won't feel left out because it's his choice.

Hi S.-
You should read the book "When Your Child Is Afraid" by Dr. Robert Schachter and Carole Spearin McCauley. Fear of heights is one of the most common fears along with fear of the dark.
Hope this helps
K.

Don't worry about it or make an issue of it. He will overcome his own fear when he's ready. Don't feel sorry for him either for not climbing around like other kids, he's probably happy the way he is.