Fashion Help

I think accesories go a long way,,,and make you feel a little bit prettier. I am a SAHM too, and right now I have on black yoga sweats, and a sky blue long sleeve t-shirt that I slept it last night....but I threw on a long beaded necklace and fun earings when I brushed my teeth, and I feel kinda hip!

Try wearing khakies or cords instead of jeans and definetly no sweats. Wear trouser socks instead of sport socks. Cotton sweaters, botton up shirts, fitted tees. Stay away from things that are baggy because they will make you look baggy.

I felt the same way that you do. All my life i have had long hair and i found myself everyday after i had my son putting it up in a sloppy ponytail, i have always been one that wanted to avoid "the mom" haircut and never saw myself doing it but i finally said i had to do something to make me feel good so i chopped it all off and sent it to locks of love and let my husbands aunt do what she wanted to my hair, i felt fantastic the second i stepped out of the chair. I also wear a lot of yoga pants and capri's it lets me go from housework to workout to play with my son with out changing my clothes all the time.

I know how you feel, now that my little guy is getting older I am starting to think about my clothes again. I still tend to buy cottons but when I get dressed, I make sure that they fit my frame and I make an effort to think if someone took my picture today would I be happy with the way I looked? When I am out with the kids I look at moms that I think look good and I try to figure out why, if it isn't something like they have perfect hair that took 1 hour to style or they are skinny as a rail I notice that they usually have their clothes put together and good hair. I think that having a good, easy, hairstyle helps every mom look better, even if your clothes are not perfect, if your hair looks good it might make you feel better.

Hi E.! I know how hard this can be. I struggled with this during my extended maternity leave too. Here are the few suggestions I have - though all may not be practical for you. Take what works, leave what doesn't! :)

1) Try khakis or knit slacks instead of jeans or sweats. It makes you feel a little more polished and still cleans up easily!

2) Find a cute pair of COMFY flat shoes (aerosoles, etc) and get them in black and neutral. Wear those instead of flip flops or sneakers from time to time.

3) Keep a tube of tinted chapstick (they even have glimmer chapstick now!) in your pocket. That way around noon when the rest of your makeup wears off, you can dab on a bit of "gloss" without it feeling sticky or rubbing off too much on the little ones!! Also, Cover Girl just came out with a great product called Outlast Lip Stain (not the liptsick!) It last HOURS... forever! It doesn't dry your lips out and doesn't need any special over-coat gloss. DO however get a lighter color than you think you'll want - it goes on darker than the package looks. Try Flirty Nude!

4)If you have longer hair and tend to put it up a lot to avoid a lot of "do" time, get some sparkly or funky hair bands, pony holders or barrettes!

5) Get one great staple piece of jewelry (nice diamond-like stud earrings -- they can totally be CZ! -- or a beautiful interesting Necklace -- Target's Subversive line has some great stuff) and wear it everyday. Make it your signature!

I hope one or two of these hints have helped! Best of luck to you!!

Honestly, if you want to feel less frumpy, don't worry about what your kids say. If you really want to feel pretty, you are probably going to end up looking like you are going somewhere (especially since you kids are used to you looking frumpy). Don't worry about it. Just dress so that you feel great (that's the most important part), and tell you children that you are taking better care of their mom. Then they will learn to respect themselves better too.

I had an instance of this (when I was going from frumpy to nice looking myself!). One day I put on makeup and did my hair. My husband asked me where I was going, and I proudly told him that I was going to go weed! He looked at me like I was a bit crazy, but I explained that I wanted to look good for *me* and I didn't care that the weeds wouldn't see anything. *I* would know I was pretty.

So have fun being beautiful!!!

HI E., The other posts about the hair.....that is number one. You need easy and there are many great styles out there that will fit your needs. Also, one very well kept secret to having a few nice things to wear every day is Good Will. My closet is full of Lizwear, Banana Repulic, Great name brand jeans, all for pennies. Good Will is my out, in order to get the great things you need to go about 2 x a week for about an hour. It's amazing what people get rid of, and so many items still have the price tags on them from the store. Good Will throws anything that isn't in good care. My feeling is, if I don't get great reviews from it without asking, I just donate back, lol. It use to be beneath my kids to go there, but they've had a change of heart after seeing my closet. (3 daughters, things seem to disappear.) :o)

What about just wearing cute shirts with jeans or casual pants. Put on jewelry. If you do your makeup, try a new kind if it seems to come off too early. Or just some color like lip gloss. What about just clear nail polish so you feel a little more "polished". Or take a lunch break to freshen up again (and maybe again before your hubby gets home) - powder your nose, brush your hair, etc. Maybe you really just need a little pampering once a week or so (time for yourself) or something like a few more workouts in your week. Just remember, you are working, probably harder than you ever did at your outside job. So thing of yourself as a laborer now and not someone with a desk job! Laborers don't usually wear heels when they do their jobs...and they get dirty during the day!!!

Your problem is not unique to SAHMs. I work and I feel the same way. I went through it big time last spring after having my third child.

In my experience, what you need is a feeling of newness and inspiration. Do you have TLC (the Learning Channel)? It sounds silly, but I recommend you watch What Not to Wear. I love it because it is all about makeovers, but not the radical surgical or weight loss kind. Just some new clothes, makeup and a haircut. It is inspirational. The hosts are excellent at putting together casual outfits. You will probably be inspired and create some new combinations using your existing clothes that you had never thought of before. Another idea is to reorganize your clothes. They will feel new again and you will notice new outfits that you never thought of before.

Get some new makeup (even just some new lipstick will be fun) and a new haircut or hairstyle. And maybe a few new shirts or spring skirts if you can afford it.

Have fun!

I totally know how you feel. We live on a farm, so many days we (the kids & I) are still in our PJ's when it comes time for bed. I try to make an effort to get us dressed and at least our hair brushed. Just that makes a big difference in all of our attitudes. I have a couple nice pairs of jeans and some shirts that work well with my frame that I can go to when we are going to be out of the house or if someone is coming over. I also get time outside of the house without the kids to just do something for myself occasionally. One thing I really like to do is go get my hair done. I like to go to the hair design school...you can get a cut, style, & eyebrow wax for less than you'd pay at a regular salon and they're knowledgeable on the latest hairstyles. You can also get a good color for less! ;) I've also noticed you can get your nails done there, too, but I haven't done so yet.
Also, get a couple fabulous necklace ensembles to pair with your "go-to" outfits and you're set! I have the privilege of having a bunch of these because I'm a jewelry consultant for Premier, which also gives me a chance to get out and be with other ladies.

What mom doesn't occassionally feel this way? My mother-in-law says always have lipstick on (but make sure it is well applied...use lip liner) and touch it up throughout the day. Silly I know but somehow fresh lipstick just makes you feel more fancy.

Things that you can do for yourself are: go to a salon and get a new hairdo, go get a manicure and pedicure, and maybe a massage or facial. There are many comfortable, stylish clothes and shoes out there. Maybe try a pair of sandals and a couple of those form fitting layered t-shirts and jeans or shorts when it gets warmer. I don't know if you have long hair or not, but you could try putting your hair up in a clip or use barrettes.
If money is tight, The JC Penny's clearance racks are the best!

I cheat and use a little self tanner and that way you already have a little color on your face.

I love Bare Minerals make too. It's a little pricey but it looks better on your face as the day goes on and is actually good for your skin.

I find earrings completely change the way a face looks. I always make sure I put a pair on before going out. It's not much but that's what I do.

I agree with the previous posts! Try to remember that your goal is not perfection in somebody else's eyes, but satisfaction in the way you appear to yourself. You can be comfortable but look put-together.

I'm in the same boat. I just ordered a bunch of new camisoles and fitted T-shirts (not clingy, but not shaped like a man's concert t-shirt either) online. I'm hoping that they'll be a heavy enough knit that they'll hold their shape and still look good after several washings. I think the key with a T-shirt is to avoid wearing a crew-neck. A square or V neckline (doesn't need to be a plunging neckline) just looks nicer and more feminine. Don't overlook underwear either. Your body can change a lot with having kids, and it's easy to fall into the habit of buying what's cheap and not what makes you look good.

If you can get into the habit of wearing an apron, that would help a lot too. They can really save your clothes from all the things that a kitchen and children can dish out.

I hate wearing makeup, but am trying to work up to wearing a foundation or bronzer every day. I wear a pair of small silver hoop earrings that are comfortable enough that I don't even have to take them out to sleep. For nail polish, I haven't used it on my hands in years, but it does make me feel better to keep my toenails painted, especially in the summertime.

I have no suggestions on hair as mine lives in a sloppy ponytail most days, but I hope some of these ideas help.

Hi E.!
I've been a stay at home mom for nearly 5 1/2 years. It's crazy how little time I leave myself to get ready in the morning.
I also agree that a good haircut is key. I have my cut stacked shorter and layerd in the back and longer just past my chin in the front. My hair is straight. It's such a good cut I only have to wash every other day. Often it's just a comb or little product to get it styled or blow dry it with a round brush.
I shop for casual tops and t-shirts at Marshalls, TJ Max, Old Navy, Kohls. I TRY to remember to take them out of the dryer after just 20 minutes and hang so they don't end up in the laundry basket for a day or two!
I wear makeup everywere but the gym. Sometimes just powder and mascara. I choose to apply lip liner to my entire lip then add a gloss a couple times during the day.
Jewelry can make a big difference to feeling complete and pulled together. It is also something that people notice and the number 1 thing that people will compliment one another on. It feels good to both give and receive compliments! I'm a jewelry party rep for almost 3 years so I wear multiple pieces every day.
I usually only use a clear (or a very natural buff) color on my nails. NailTek is a brand that you add a coat every day for a few days and it gives them strength. Since it's clear, I don't feel so bad if it smuges while I'm waiting for it to dry!

I also get out of the house a few times a week with the kids. MOMS Club and MOPS are wonderful groups where you can connect with other moms and your kids can meet other kids.

Every mom is a woman - and she deserves not to lose herself in the mom role.

Blessings,
J.

I don't really have any tips for you... I just understand how you feel! After years of being a stay home mom, I think I owned maybe two nice shirts. Then I went to work for a couple of years after my divorce and it was making custom kitchen cabinets with one other person... my shirt and pants that were decent quickly went to horrible with being in the saw dust and working with stain all day, then I went back to daycare/ stay at home mom. I'm truely lucky to have maybe 3 shirts now that fit me and are nice looking.

My kids would do the same, I would put make up on and a nicer shirt and they would tell me how nice I looked, then asked where I was going? lol. I can't wear make up every day, it has to be atleast every other to every two days because even with hypo allergenic make up I'm allergic to it. I get more complements when I wear make up and do my hair but I have alot also saying that I don't need make up. Being home with the kids or the daycare kids I didn't want to put on a nice shirt because at the end of the day there would be spit up on it, or something from cooking... you know the drill, lol. I was in the same boat that if I would look nice my self esteem would go out up so I started to "pamper" myself once a week. I would wear a descent shirt and do my hair and make up while the babies were taking a nap, with my hair so thick and wavy to keep it from frizzing I needed to straighten it and it took an hour to do. Once a month my nails(even though by the end of the day they looked horrible!). I had long hair always between the middle of my back to just past my sholders and I got tired of it always being in a pony tail, bun or french braid so I cut it to my jaw line with a simple cut but it looks good with out really any fuss. That has made a huge difference with the way I look and feel.

Maybe other mom's will have some more tips.. those are just the one's I did and it worked for me.

I've never been one for make-up personally, mascara is usually all I wear, but my hair was important to me when I was a SAHM. Having my hair done made all the difference, a decent pair of jeans that looked good on me, and a nice casual top that looked good but was comfy....something like what they sell at Wal-mart, a stretchy type of shirt with short or long sleeves and a nice neckline (v or square). That way I knew I could leave the house at a moments notice and know that I still looked decent. Slip on flats shoes were a must too, something casual dress that I could easily slip on as I ran out the door to do errands or whatnot.....no need to get all fancied up but with a good, easy to care for hair (I call it wash and go hair lol), my mascara, and decent casual clothes that were easy to take care of and didn't matter if they got ruined worked great for me! Good luck to ya hun! :)

Hi E.,

I love dressing up, and I always pay attention to what I wear even if I am home all day with my son. I used to get my nails done every two weeks and wear high heels everyday, but since I had him I can't really do that anymore (well I guess I could but it would be horribly inefficient and painful!)

So basically I just wear jeans, t-shirts, and sweaters most of the time with flat shoes. However, I choose a cute fitted graphic tee over a baggy sportswear t-shirt all the time. Likewise, I choose a pretty cardigan or pullover sweater (all washable!!) instead of a typical hoodie, or look for a semi-casual hoodie in a lightweight jersey. For jeans, I really like fitted wide leg--there are lots of great jeans at Kohls department store that are not expensive at all. Otherwise I find that H&M carries wide leg jeans for $40--also not that bad, but definitely more of a splurge if you are on a budget like me. I also have been wearing skinny jeans--they look great with a longer fitted tee or with a babydoll top. Forever 21 has great skinny jeans for ~$14 a pair. Kohls and Forever 21 also have really great sweaters that are comfortable, washable, hip, and pretty (and not to expensive!). I buy a lot of tee's at Forever 21 and H&M. I usually shop sales, and I almost always find great deals on everything. I'll shop the sales at J. Jill to find beautiful stuff that is not old lady, but also not to teenagerish. I try to stay away from stuff that is too trendy--no glitter or trendy skulls- because although I'm still pretty young, I don't want to look like a teenager. I find shoes all over the place, online, at Target, everywhere. I love little booties--super comfortable and super hot with skinny jeans. Blowfish and Rocketdog usually have super cute shoes for pretty cheap. I really like mary janes with wide leg jeans, or ballet flats. I try to find cute shoes with kitten heels (very, very, very low high heels) to feel a little sexy. I also have a few pairs of mid-calf or knee high boots. Essentially, I wear jeans or cargo pants, t-shirts, and sweaters everyday, and I almost always feel like I look fancy but not in a too fancy way, and I am always comfortable! I wear lots of skirts and dresses with tights and legwarmers too, even in winter, I just wear boots instead of ballet flats.

Basically you just have to find a style that you like and explore ways to make it work for you. Look through a few magazines and find pictures of clothes you like, or looks you like. Then go through your closet and see what you already have that may be dressed up, or dressed down to get the look you want. Then go shopping to find a few things you can wear on an everyday basis that fit really well and are comfortable and washable. Second had stores are a great way to go for accessories like scarves, necklaces, etc. Even just adding a necklace and a great belt to an otherwise plain outfit can give you an instant updated look! Then you can add other items slowly. I let myself but one or two new things a month. Get outside your comfort zone and try on things that you would "never" wear. They just may look great on you! Remember that the style you had prior to kid life is not you anymore!

Sorry this is so long. I really like clothes. I feel so much better when I think I look nice, and I think it's awesome that you are taking care of yourself and defining yourself outside of being a mother!

M.

P.S. Cute or sexy underwear is also an instant was to feel way better about yourself :)

I keep my hair in different styles I will grow it really long (middle of my back) and wear all kinds of clips and styles then I cut it off for locks of love to my chin or shorter and keep it in different short styles for a while and then grow it back out in different ways. It makes me feel beautiful that almost every time I go for a haircut I'm leaving with something fresh and fun to play with.

Jewelry - adding a little bit of sparkle/shine helps.

Exercise - as a mom for a while I let myself go saying I was too busy with my son and now that he is older I really wish I wouldn't have. but now that I work out I feel so much better about me, physically and emotionally.

Tuck in your shirts and wear a belt. I have found even if I am in jeans a tshirt and tennis shoes if I do this I don't feel so frumpy. If you really wanna spice it up put on boots or nice shoes. (even with the tshirt you got on your last vacation) There is something about a belt, shoes and a purse that makes me feel put together.

Shower everyday! When we stay at home sometimes we loose track of when we last did what so making sure to stay fresh helps our self esteem.

that's all I can think of

Lots of great tips, E.. I just wanted to add about your nails. I used to paint mine all the time but like you didn't want to "waste" it doing dishes, housework, etc. Well, I have just started painting them again. The clear polish is a good idea, but if you like colored nails, use a Base and Top coat to make it last longer...and...wear GLOVES to do dishes and other household tasks. Works wonderfully!

My number one reccommendation would be tanning!!! Always makes me feel and Look better (use one with a bronzer, then you have to go less often)! Or get some highlights in time for spring.

Or if you are finding your make up wearing off faster than you would like I would try some new kinds....
Mary Kay has an awesome eyeshadow base to keep your eyeshadow on (even if it is a light color!), its about $12 and lasts me a good 6 months... and I use it DAILY.

Also maybe just a more expensive blush or bronzer that last on your face longer, one day in a pinch I bought a cover girl blush instead of clinique and I swear it was worn off in an hour!!! YIKES.

Also how bout some new clothes??? Go to the Buckle and invest in a new pair of denim! They'er denim specialist will hook you up with an awesome pair! ( try the big star Maddie... altho I have no idea what you look, just my mom recomendation)

also check out.. www.makeupalley.com I am obsessed with that site, it has reviews on EVERY beauty product EVER. that might give you some great ideas as well. GOOD LUCK.

Hello E.!
Actually I don't really have any advice but I wanted to offer you support and let you know you are not alone! I too am a stay at home mom to a 22 month old boy and there are days we are both still in our pj's when his daddy gets home from work! Just what he wants to see! I wash my hair about 2 times a week if I'm lucky. I will say I feel much better when I'm able to comb my hair, put it in a pony, add some mascara, a little blush and lip gloss... but I am guilty of wearing my pj's most of the day and then sweats and a t-shirt when I change. Most nights he is still not sleeping through the night, so I rest when he does and play when he gets up. It does make me a bit sad because I really have some cute clothes because before he was born I used to be kinda cute! :-) Thank you for your post so I could read what others suggest and now I know I'm not the only one out there who is feeling a bit frumpy!
Take care and good luck!
L. L.

E....I'm right there w/ you right now! Same thing here, SAHM, 3 kids under age 6, barely have a moment to myself, etc. Lately I've been really trying to make some time for myself and buy some new clothes that are more "in style" and taking a few more minutes on my hair and make-up, even if I don't have major plans for the day. Just buying some cute new tops and doing my hair makes me feel so much better! Maybe have your hubby look after your kids and go to the mall all by yourself (it's heaven!) and then take some time to just shop for you, no kids stores.:) Try stuff on, maybe stop at the make-up counter. It's amazing how much better I felt after just buying a few new tops (I think it's been years since I've done any serious shopping for myself, before kids I was very into fashion and how I looked so what a change it was to be a SAHM.)
Good luck and know you're not alone!

1) A quality (as much as you can afford), trendy purse; 2) colorful, textured and embellished scarves; 2) a great haircut, and a new color if you're willing to go there; 3) a new pair of trendy sunglasses 4) mascara and lip gloss. You're set.

I think that the things that help me the most with the least effort are to get a good haircut (the shorter it is, the more often it needs cut to look good, so I keep it kinda long, but still cut nicely), make sure I have comfortable clothes that fit me well (sounds like a no-brainer, but after so many pregnancies and post-pregnancies, I still have a lot of bigger clothes around that are easy to fall back on, and sweat-type stuff can seem so comfy, but never really compliments anyone),put in my contacts or make sure my glasses are lookin' good (they are usually in style when I get them, but out by the time I get around to replacing them 5 years later), and take 15 seconds to slap on the one make-up item that makes the most difference on my face (for me it's eyeliner, but it may be lipstick, blush, or concealer for someone else). Most days I have almost NO time to devote to looking good, but I don't want to frump out, so these are a few strategies that I have developed.

E., I can SOOO relate! I have a 6 yr old in kindergarten and a 3 yr old. I have stayed home with both of them and love it too! It just seems silly to get dolled up only to turn around and clean all day, or have food spilled on you!

HOWEVER, I have always "gotten ready" everyday.(well, a few days I skipped)I take my shower, do my makeup and hair everyday. People will call me and say "what are you doing?" and I say "getting ready" and they ALWAYS say, "for what?" When I say "the day", they just sort of laugh. But I do it for me. I feel SO much better about myself if I am cleaned up. Granted, my clothes arn't always the most fashionable, but at least I feel like I look decent otherwise.

Last year for my birthday, I took the money I got and went shopping for myself for once. I bought a couple "nice" shirts (casual, but nice) and came up with a couple outfits to wear(with my capris or jeans). Then, I bought a couple cute, chunky, trendy necklaces to go with them (or u could make some, I did). I never realized it, but they TOTALLY made the outfit and I actually felt somewhat fashionable! I think the touches of jewelry really help! There is a lot out there that is more casual and not flashy. I also bought myself some new makeup-stuff to sort of play with. I NEVER usually get the luxury of doing that! All these things made me feel SO much better, and I did it for around $100!

I don't do my nails either (just toes), it would be a complete waste of time for me. Do you ever watch that show "What not to wear" on TLC? One of my favs! You can get a lot of good tips on there! I would LOVE to be on it! I suggest checking it out! ANYWAY, hope you are able to take something out of this long book I wrote! Good luck!

Keeping in shape makes me feel better about myself.

I would get some light mineral foundation and put that on daily w/ mascara and call it good if I were staying home.

Also, I hate getting manicures but did get one recently and she put OPI nail envy on my nails and I loved it! It's just a clear coat but makes your nails really strong and healthy. I bought some and refresh my nails once every week or two with a clear coat and they now constantly look well manicured. The white part of my nails is vibrant. The stuff works great and you don't have to worry about chipped polish, which looks tacky. I do still get pedicures at the salon once every month or two.

Oh and try Avon Magix for your face! I think it's a fabulous product. It makes my skin so soft and smooth, has spf 20 and completely eliminates any shine. It's a great price too.

Most importantly, don't forget date night with your husband! It's great to get out and spend time with your husband w/o children. Get dressed up, feel sexy & have a good time.

Ok, that's all I got.

I am not a stay at home mom but I thought I would let you know what makes me feel pretty anyway.
Lotion/body cream... the kind that smells pretty. :) I have different ones so I try to mix it up. Though I own make-up, I am not much for wearing it, but I do like and use chap stick. Burt's Bees has tinted chap-sticks. I would recommend some color on your lips, face lotion with a bit of tint to it (and sunblock?), and eye liner or mascara. Simple and natural so you feel good but don't look overdone. And easy to refresh if you need to by midday.
The other thing I like to do is use Aveeno lotion on my hands every time I wash them. Keeps them soft and that makes me feel good (the babies probably appreciate it as well).
And I definitely agree about the hair. Get a style that doesn't take long to fix. Mine is currently driving me insane (it doesn't matter how "together" my outfit is if my hair isn't)! Having a nice do makes a big difference.
My mother in law takes care of my babies and we got her yoga pants and tops for her to wear while she's with the kids. They are form fitting, yet stretchy, so they are comfortable without the frumpy look. She likes them very much! She said they were better than her jeans.
I think it's great that you want to look better while at home. Your children may not care, but they do notice it and they learn how to take care of their appearance from you! So good job!

E. - Just do whatever makes you feel pretty. For me, it is simply mascara and lip gloss and maybe a necklace or pretty earrings and sometimes a little spritz of light body spray. For your nails, just keeping them shaped and putting lotion/oil on them (even hand lotion) to keep them shiny and is better for you than having polish on all the time.

I agree with everyone else - shower and a little bit of makeup, but most of all do some things to pamper yourself.

As far as makeup goes, put foundation on to even out your skintone, mascara, and some lipgloss (some blush too if you want). This is so minor but can make you feel like a million bucks. Mary Kay MineralPowder Foundation is transfer-resistant so it won't fade away by Noon :). If you want to wear more makeup, Mary Kay also has 2 products that help keep colors vibrant and increase their staying power - Eye Primer and Lip Primer. Just go to www.marykay.com to find a consultant near you. They can also come over to your house (or you can go to their house) to do a free facial and makeover!

Take care of yourself!

You have many good tips. I just want to add that you can find lots of new clothing for very little at Unique. If you are in the cities, the one in St. Anthony has been remodeled, and they seem to have lots of bargains. I have purchased most of my spring wardrobe there in the past few weeks, and most of the items still had the tags on them! It always feels good to put on something new!!