Exlaining Loss of Pet to 2Yr Old.

Hey A....I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard...we have 2 dogs too, who've been with us before we got married and had kids. I dread the day...

There is an excellent children's book to explain this...it's called "Dog Heaven". You can probably get it at any library and it's definitely in bookstores. It is written for a small child, with big words and great pictures. It's incredibly simple and sweet...and helps a child understand what happens when a dog passes away.

I hope this helps...good luck :)

When our beloved cat died, my son was 3. He asked where she was, and I sat him down and told him that her body had stopped working. That she was very old and sick (which is not true in your case, but you just explain it in very simple terms, like his body stopped working because he got very sick, which is partially correct). We went over this a few times and he was not troubled by this, strangely. I said if we miss our cat, we can look at pictures of her and talk about her. Now, after we have gone through 6 dead fish, when I tell him that their bodies stopped working, he says, "yes, they are dead".

We went through this twice with my 2 year old daughter who is now six. We lost of pets about 8 months apart. We went to the library and got a book. I can't remember the title but, the librarian helped us find it. Our daughter enjoyed the book and it helped a little. I'm not sure if she really understood either because whenever we drove by the Vet's office she would say, "that's where Sweet Pea is" We had our pets cremated and have them in a bone shaped urn with their pictures on it and every now and then she will get a little sad remembering them. I think the best thing is to not dwell on the fact that they are gone and have them remember happy times. As far as the brother dog, he is going to grieve too and will need to be comforted as well. I don't know if you have gone to a site called the Rainbow Bridge yet, very beautiful poem that you and your family might enjoy. Sorry for you loss.

There is a wonderful book called "Lifetimes". I forget the author, but I know you can find it on amazon. It is a picture book and I have used it with all four of my boys. (We went through a period where 5 extended family members died in a three year period.) It is a factual, simple book about how every living thing has a lifetime.

My twenty-two year old was just talking about how all his friends have a difficult time talking about death, and he thinks that that book really made death very understandable to him.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Two things that helped my daughter and I when we lost our dog.... Freddie The Fallen leaf, by Leo Biscalia and Rainbow bridge on line. They have a virtual place where you can go to pay respect to your pet. You can change the toys you give him, change the season. www.rainbowsbridge.com

We had the same situation with our family dog last October when my daughter was about 2 and a half. We bought the book Dog Heaven at Barnes and Noble. Eight months later our daughter still talks about our dog - and how she's eating lots of biscuits in dog heaven. We explained to her that when dogs get old sometimes their bodies stop working and they don't live forever, that it's ok to miss the dog. We also spend a lot of time looking at pictures of the dog and telling stories about her. Every once in awhile someone will ask how our dog is doing and our daughter will be the first to respond, "she's fine, she's in dog heaven."

Hi A.,

I'm sorry for your loss. I actually had to go through this situation 2 months ago when my 17-year old cat had to be put to sleep and my 3-year old was quick to ask me where he is. I just told her that Jock Meister (our cat) went to kitty heavan where cats are no longer sick and can run and play like they did when they were kittens. She accepted the explanation pretty well and immediately went on to ask if we can get another pet and she's always wanted a chinchilla and a macawa and a rabbit . . . Obviously she was ready to move on but I wasn't so I had to tell her that I was really, really sad right now but when I was no longer sad, we can discuss getting another pet. I hope this helps you some.

Take care,

L.

Here is a great link to a page of books about animals and death, http://childrensbooks.about.com/od/themesubjectbooksby/tp...

based upon your beliefs you can chhose what is best for you and your child, I suggest the one about dog heaven as its not just for kids adults find comfert in it also.

Blessings for your sadness may your dog walk the rainbow brige
of animals into the heavens above.

xo

Hi A.,

First, I'm sad to hear your news and know how you all must be hurting. Losing a family member- be it even a pet- is very, very difficult.

I believe that in being a child... especially one so young like your son... they are so much closer to truth, to understanding, and to innocence. They are so much closer to all that is where your dog returned. The children being born these days are not stupid; at times they understand more than we think they do and for more than they are given credit. I think if you explained gently and as simply as possible for now to your son, that it was time for your dog to go live somewhere else... perhaps up by the moon or in the stars~ a place he can look up to and see and talk to, then he will always know where his doggie is. You can also draw pictures for your dog with your son and attach them to the string of a helium balloon that he can let go of as if he's sending the dog mail to the moon/stars; or simply even put special hugs into a balloon, or let him tell what he would want to tell the dog and then let it go. Every now and then, as you're out doing your daily business, you will see other helium balloons float randomly through the air which is really cool! THOSE, you tell your son, are from the dog!! :). My kids ALWAYS love the messages back. :)

My suggestion may sound a bit wrong to some, however, when my Aunt passed away right before Christmas of '06, my daughter had a most difficult time for a long time, however, she has always found peace and joy in being able to include Aunt Kat in family functions and celebrations by sending her balloons. It is comforting to her when all she has to do is go outside and look up in the sky and yell something to her, and know that Aunt Kat is home resting above my daughter everywhere she goes. Now my Grandma has joined my Aunt. This time around it wasn't so bad for my daughter or my 2 year old son because Nana was going to a familiar place they could comprehend. They know God and Heaven... but when you're little and you can't see past the stars in order to understand the ALL of what's out there... of Creation... how will a little 2 year old perceive that and be comforted because his dog is somewhere unfamiliar to him and so far away?

Without knowing your son, it's hard to say, but if he asks you, answer honestly. Be happy for the dog... maybe he was hurting? Maybe he had an extra special job to do and had to leave so he wouldn't be late??? I don't know. If a child can understand something simple enough, I don't think he'll ask too many questions.

Sorry. I hope this helped a bit :)

Blessings,
Jennifer

My daughter was about 3 three when we lost our dog, Sierra. We had to put her down because she was so weak from cancer and there were no other options. My husband and I were broken up by her death, too. Our vet gave us options about what to do with her remains. We had her cremated and she was placed into a wooden box. We plan on saying goodbye to her up near Chico in her favorite swimming hole. My daughter asks about her too and we were very honest. We told her she was very sick and she died, but we explained that we have our memories of her forever in our hearts. She seemed okay with our honest explanation. Our daughter will be a part of the goodbye, too. I am sorry for your loss. I never knew how painful it could be to my heart. I even found myself looking for her the first couple of weeks after her death. Time will help heal your heart and your son's heart.

Well, our kids were very young also when we lost our dog. Same as you, we were just shattered! What worked for us, was the movie Lion King. I know it's a bit corny, but the kids had recently watched it and when we explained to them that our dog was in the stars like Mufasa, it seemed to work well.
So sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is.
Good Luck.
From one dog lover to another...

I am so sorry for your loss.
I don't know if you believe in God or not, but children are very close to him. If you do then heaven is a good place to talk about. You could explain that when animals and people die then they go to heaven.
I have tried explaining this to my three year old because our cat just died. It has been a few weeks but he is now asking how do you think sugar-booger likes heaven? and do you think he has friends there to play with? I don't know if he quite understands the whole thing, but now he knows there is a place that he lives and is safe and happy. You could start preparing him about your other dog that he is going to go to heaven too one day and then they will have each other again to play with.
Please don't use the word sleep, because you wont ever get another wink your self.
Good luck in this.
Take care and God bless
B.

A.

You and I are in the same position with the same dogs. I also have a small child she is 6 years old and I am pregnant. I have an elderly boxer (12) that has been sick since February. When our vet suggested that maybe we put the dog down because of his age. My six year old went hysterical and it broke my heart. She cries every day, begged me not to let the dog die, and was crying at school. My husband and I agreed at first not to get anymore dogs. We have not put our dog down yeat but we know we may have to if he stops eating, Starts to show signs of suffering, or is no longer able to get up. So I started to look at Boxer Rescues on-line (the closet was in Santa Clarita) the price to adopt one from a rescue was more than I was willing to pay and farter that I wanted to drive witht the high price of gas. So I signed up on-line with the local humane society. You can pick the breed, color, age, and sex of the animal you are looking for and they will e-mail you pictures with descriptions daily. It took about 3 weeks until a dog came up that I was interested in. When I saw her I went down to see her and she is perfect. I too did not want a puppy but I knew if I got another dog it had to be a boxer beacasue of their love for children. She is 2-3 years old, fixed, and very beautiful. She is gentle and kind and loves my daughter and my elderly boxer. She was found dumped in a field and was actually chipped by her previous owner but never registered with AVID. So they were never able to contact the owner. Alot of people are losing there homes and leaving dogs behind or letting them go :(. Anyway right now we have 2 boxers and are very happy. My daughter loves her new dog Jill and is still in love with our elderly dog Jack. She plays with Jill all day long, it's as if she has a friend here playing with her. e-mail me privately if you have any other questions I would be glad to help with any advice.

The 2 year old will understand it within the reality of a 2 year old's mind. One of our sons lost a 7 year old friend when he was 4 and we explained that JT died and he had lots of questions. We left it up to him whether he wanted to go to the funeral and he said that he did. We took him and he even wanted to see him in the casket. I didn't want to go myself, let alone take our son, but he was fine and seeing him lying in the casket not moving, and then burying him in the ground was a lot for me, but he handled it fine.

JT had a 5 year old sister and a 3 year old brother. His sister understood that JT was not coming home, but the 3 year old would hear the front door open and close while playing with toys and yell, "JT's home!" His mom would cry quietly every time this happened and eventually the 3 year old talked and asked about him less. His life went on far more easy than his parents have.

Realize that you and your husband's grief is vastly different from a 2 year old's. Death is not something that is easy to grasp, especially when life is not easily grasped.

There are several good books about loss of pet. One by Cynthia Rylant (Dog Heaven -- may depend on your religious point of view) . Ask your local library. You may want to consider adopting a rescue dog to keep your remaining dog company. Check your local shelter or see Rescue dogs on line -- there are so many to choose from. Rescue organizations usually provide more info than shelters, such as temperament -- good w/ kids or other dogs, etc. (I don't really suggest a brand new puppy at this time.) When our male Rott died of cancer we eventually got an adult Rott/mix from a rescue to keep our surviving female company and it worked out well. Sorry for your loss.

A. -

My sister-in-law had the same issue and told her son that the dog had ran off and got married and started a family of his own. He never asked about the dog again!

Hope this helps.

Chris

At 2 you can probably tell him a little about heaven, and that he is with God. thats what i did when our Rabbit died. also I dn't know whole lot about boxers, but i do knpw that doges need companions just like we do, maybe you can get a dog thats not quit a puppy anymore, i lost my sheppherd lastsummer, ihad her for 14 years, I got a puppy when we notice Lexie as not going to well, but having a puppy around itbseemedblikenitgave her the will to live. J.

My kids had a hard time when our 13 yr old husky passed away. We told them that he was in heaven with their grandma and very happy and running around like a puppy. This seemed to help them deal with the loss.

I know your child is pretty young but I taught preschool and had this happen to one of my students. We read a book called, 10 Good things About Barney or something like that. Also I think Mister Rogers has a book about the loss of a pet. Look in the library I'm sure they have some books on the subject for young children. Also there's a chapter in One of the Little House Books about when Jack finally passed. My condolensces go out to you and your family.