Loss of a Pet

C.,

I am sorry for your loss. To help you all, I recommend you go to the shelter and rescue a dog! With all the people out of work, losing their jobs, and lacking funds, more animals than ever are being abandoned. Dogs are waiting in overcrowded shelters for someone to love them. They need our help. You can skip the whole "chewing the house apart, peeing on everything" baby stage and get a well-mannered young adult to help fill the current void in your life. You can help teach your children about caring for those in need. You will have love again from a wonderful creature. No, a new dog will never replace the dog you had, but another loving relationship can be very healing. Your first dog would want you to have a new pack. Children need the unconditional love, companionship, and absolute trust with secrets that dogs (or other animals) provide.

Best wishes,
K.

I hate to say it, but a new puppy. I lost many pets as a child, and I was heartbroken until I had a new pet to get excited about and love. It will not replace your old dog, but give your kids another pet to love. Sorry for your loss.

Remind them that this is part of the "circle of life". The more you talk about the good memories.....the better. It's HEALING. Have the kids make a scrapbook, if they want. This kind of thing can help, too.

Buy a statue, cross or whatever, if you want, and put it somewhere under the pet's favorite tree, etc. as a memorial. I have a neighbor who has a large dog statue in her yard where their dog is buried. Whatever will give them comfort and bring good memories......again, these are healing.

Plant a tree or bush in memory of....that will continually grow and ALWAYS BE A REMINDER OF THE MEMORIES AND IMPACT it had on your growing family.

You can hold a funeral. Either bury her in the yard where she used to play and get one of those Memory stones to make and put over her. Creamate her and place a picture by her ashes in a curio cabinet or shelf somewhere.
Good luck!

Oh, how terrible to lose your first dog so young! That is very difficult. I remember when my childhood dog died, and it was a very sad and traumatic experience for me. Something I found helpful is that my mother, brother, and I put together a bunch of pictures of my dog and made up a slide show (you could do a power-point, modernize it a bit) and sat around and shared memories. We also put her ashes in a pretty urn and kept it where everyone could see it. If you don't have your dog's ashes, consider putting some kind of memory stone in your yard or garden as a memorial to the dog (they sell them at Petsmart and stuff).

DON'T get a new dog right away. The kids may want one, but the grief needs time to run it's course. If one of the children does decide s/he wants another dog, this would be a good time to begin volunteering with a local animal shelter or rescue. I am personally in animal rescue, and I know we always need good volunteers of all ages. It will give the kids a chance to interact with animals without "replacing" the one you've lost, and then eventually, you will be ready to move on to your next puppy.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

C., I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I'm assuming that by "lost" you mean your dog passed away (with dogs, you can never assume. You may actually mean lost, as in ran away/was stolen).

We had to have our dog of 11 1/2 years put down about a month ago. It was horrible. Luckily we knew enough in advance that the kids could tell him good-buy (my kids are 8,6,4,and 2, so they're a good deal younger than most of yours). I took them to a cousin's house to play while my husband took care of the rest. When we came home Andrew (our dog) had been buried in our yard near the kids' swing set.

My husband had them help him build a small wooden cross to mark Andrew's grave. They also planted flowers behind the cross. Since then they've started collecting rocks they like to decorate the grave.

We talk about Andrew a lot & that has helped. But what has helped most is that we have another dog who's still with us. Lilly hasn't filled the void that Andrew left, but she's kept us occupied & loved & entertained. We've had her for a few years, so we didn't have to get a new dog when all this happend, but I do think it's something you should consider. Maybe not immediately, but fairly soon.

C.,

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost a beloved cat just over a year ago, and it was really hard on all of us, my daugther included. My sister sent us a book called "All God's Creatures Go to Heaven" by N.A. Noel. My daughter and I found great solace in that book. I wish you all luck in dealing w/your loss.

I am so sorry about your dog. I am sending you and your children a hug (( )). Let them talk about their feelings. Ask them if they would like another dog? If so then go and look at new ones. I am in favor of giving homes to sheltered animals myself, or talking to my vet to see if someone has a pet they can no longer keep and rescuing them before they end up in the shelter, or checking out the boards at the Pet Supply stores. Pet Smart in Avon has a board just inside the door and some news papers have pets that are free to a home and need to be rescued. The hunt for a new pet may help reduce some of the feeling of loss, give them another focus right now, and will help fill the void.
Loss is a big part of life. I have always treated it the same way I treated the loss of a family member or a friend and allowed my children to do the same. We always wrote a story about our special memory with the pet and put them in a scrapbook so we could go back and look at them later along with pictures we may have had of the pet as well. It helped.

Dear C.,

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. The loss of a pet is a devastating thing to the people left behind, and it's made harder by people who say the old phrase, "Get over it. It was just a pet." They don't understand the bonds we have with our best friends, or the unconditional love they give us.

Your fur baby was so young, and this must have come as a terrible shock to all of you. My heart goes out to you now.

I have been a volunteer on a pet loss web site for over 5 years. I have collected several stories and poems that can really be helpful in healing. I'll send you a private message with one story that was specifically written as a parable to help young children deal with the loss of a beloved furry family member.

The story of the Rainbow Bridge is especially helpful too. As a matter of fact, the site where I volunteer is: http://www.rainbowsbridge.com , and I try to respond to almost every post on the pet loss forum there.

Make a family project of making a scrapbook in memory of your dog. You can include everyone's favorite stories about her, happy or sad, and use pictures of her to accompany each one. Print out special stories, poems, song lyrics, etc., that help you through this sad time. That way, your dear girl will live in spirit and in your hearts forever.

Bless you for not glossing over such a significant loss, and for instilling in your children a love and respect for our best friends.

If you need some additional support, please feel free to contact me through the private message feature, and I will reply ASAP.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as you adjust to this big change in your lives.

Another great book is by Sylvia Browne, the psychic. No matter how you fel about her, the book is excellent, and it was written to help children through the loss of a pet. It is called "All Pets Go To Heaven." She has also written a book called "Animals On The Other Side." Both are wonderful books, filled with comforting images and concepts.

Pack your kids up and head to the animal shelter and get a new Dog, maybe even one that looks like your other. Let the children pick it out.Death is a very hard thing for most children but I think it is harder on the adults involved. Pets are part of the family and a huge loss. It's okay to mourn but you still need to get a new dog and there are so many wonderful dogs that need a family to love and care for them.Animals love us no matter what and they don't care if if you fat or skinny , tall or short they connect with the Love you give them and they give back more than anything a Love that can never be taken away except by death. Animals teach us so much about life, sadly they just don't live as long as us humans. I lost my cat of 22 1/2 years last fall, I still miss him , hewas my best buddy. I have got a new cat , same color but short haired and he was a rescue, he gives me so much love, I know how hard it is but talk to your kids and tell them you think they need a new dog.
So sorry for your loss.

Hi C.
When we loss our pet a year ago, the kids and I put together a collage of pictures. I had her cremated and bought a box and decorated with pics of her thru the year. I am so sorry about your loss. I know how hard it can be. We also went to the shelter and looked for months before buying another dog. We finally found one from the rescue center. Of course it will not take the place of your first one but some how ease the pain a bit.
Many Blessings
D.

Help your kids mourn their dog. Try creating something like a new orleans wake. By that i mean, have a small party where you put out photos of the dog with the kids & by himself. Remember all of the good times & the bad. Then plant a specal plant to remember the dog. Talk with the kids & see how long of a mourning period would be proper before getting another dog or a cat to come & join the family. Just remember to explain that just because "fefe" is no longer living with us, she will always be a part of your hearts & lives plus the love that she taught you will live on with another animal friend or two. This is how i have mourned several kitties; although my mourning time ranged from a couple of months to several years between kitties. Hope this helps you to move on with a solution.