Exhausted and Need Some Help...

A., I had the same problem with my daughter now 5. She slept with me until me and my husband got married. Was a single parent and tired so I gave in a lot when it came to bed time, but knowing that I was going to get married and my soon to be husband wouldn't appreciate it we came up with ideas or games to play with her rewarding her when she slept through the night in her own bed. We kept a night light on in her room and that seemed to help. Basically each night she slept in her room she was rewarded a star if she got 5 stars she got to pick a prize out of box I had of little dollar store items. My daughter was 3 when I was doing this, but it might work with a 2 yr old. Good luck and wish you the best! M.

A.,

You have been visiting our house! We also have a beautiful, smart, strong-willed and persistant daughter. She would also get up in the middle of the night and come into our bed and keep us up. I read an article by a pediatrician who said once a child is out of a crib and into a toddler bed, she misses the boundry a crib offers and keeps pushing until she finds that boundry again. She suggested, and I ran the idea past our pedi, that putting up a gate at the doorway give it to her. We got one and it worked like a dream. We got one that was short so she could see over, but not climb. She actually loves it. THe first night we installed it she slept almost all night, waking once in the middle of the night, crying for a minute, then going back to sleep. Now, she cant sleep unless the gate is closed. And when she wants alone time, she can go into her room, close her gate and play and I can see what she is doing without disturbing her. We also have a 2-story house and we sleep better knowing she wont be climbing the stairs in the middle of the night!

I hope this is helpful! Good luck!
A.

Hi A.!
I agree with the baby gate method. We tried that but our daughter would just climb it or knock it down. We ended up putting one of those child door knob locks (the ones that just cover the door knob). That way her door stays closed and she can roam around her room and thats it. It took about a week and she quit getting out of bed. Now we still have the lock on her door and it works out great for time outs in her room... she can't come out until I say time out is over!
Good Luck!
C.

We had that problem with our little guy also. The only thing that has worked for us is I mg of melatonin about an hour before bed. We tried several brands. Some worked and some did not. We have found Kirkman's brand (order online or you can get it at Healthy Approach off 121 and Glade) to work best. They make a minty flavored chewable.

Melatonin is a natural chemical found in the body. Some people just aren't balanced with it and have a harder time sleeping. Our little guy is also very smart and has a hard time turning his mind off. Also good to have as much light as possible during the day. Helps the body to produce melatonin naturally.

Hope that helps. Honestly we didn't get any sleep for 5 years until we found melatonin! :)

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl9.asp

We have a similar problem and our daughter is almost 5. She falls asleep in our bed. DH puts her in her bed. She gets up some time during the night and comes back into our bed. But, I don't lose any sleep. I never even hear her. Sometimes, rarely she'll stay in her room the rest of the night.

This started when she was 3 because we only had two rooms at the time. She never would sleep with us when she was little, but when we moved her out of the crib and put our son in it she started sleeping in the playard in our room. She outgrew the playard so then started sleeping with us. I like the idea of putting a sleeping area for her in our bedroom. I'm going to try that tonight!!

A.,

My daughter does this, also, and she is five years old now! I think it is just her particular temperament/personality/body system. She is strong-willed, spirited, intense, and super sweet. She is also sensitive, shy, and easily scared.

I don't have a magic solution. I had hoped that putting her and her 2 year old sister in the same room would help, but she tells me she needs an adult, not a baby!

Sometimes we let her stay in our bed, and sometimes I get up and go back to her bed with her. Other nights, I lay down with her until she falls asleep, and sometimes that seems to help her get into a deep enough sleep that she doesn't wake up.

My best advice is to be sensitive to the possibility that this is a true need of hers, and try different ways of dealing with it. My guess is that they won't still be getting in bed with us at the age of 10, so there's hope! The other thing I would suggest is reading the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It is an eye opener about sleep needs of children. I need to re-read it myself...when I can get enough rest to do that! :)

Best of luck, and bless your heart - your cup is full of little blessings, and that makes the days precious AND long at times! Hang in there.

ST

I came up with the sleep fairy at our house. If my 3 year old slept in her room all night the sleep fairy would leave a little present under her pillow early in the morning before she woke up. Something cheap and cute, stickers, lip gloss, ect. As soon as she turned 4 I told her the sleep fairy expected big girls to sleep in their rooms and we implemented the responsibility chart in her room with ways for her to earn a prize. Sounds like a bribe, but so worth it!!!

If she is awake and that is what is keeping you up I'd ask the doctor why she's not sleeping. Ask if you can give her Benadryl. Maybe she just needs her internal sleep clock reset.

If she is keeping you up because she's kicking and fidgeting, keep up what you're doing and put her back in her bed.

Eventually, this will pass, but sooner rather than later would be better. You might take turns with your hubby in getting sleep.... one of you sleep in a different room that she can't get into until this has ended.

Just a little advice (we had exactly the same problem with our two years old baby boy months ago), AVOID sugar after 3:00 p.m. it worked with us.

Blessings,

E.

I tried that Nanny advice and it just didn't work for us. All my DD wanted was individual attention and a feeling of security. Once she felt like she was getting it she became easier to put to bed.

What finally worked for us: We started putting my DD to bed an hour to an hour and a half earlier and have a long bedtime routine. First a glass of milk and maybe some wheat toast with butter at the table with daddy. They talk and joke around while snacking. Then to the bathroom with mommy to brush, floss, and rinse her teeth and dress for bed. More talking and positive/fun attention here too. But no rough play or loud rollicking adventures during any of this. It just gets them wound up and make it impossible for them to calm down and sleep.
Then she picks a calm music CD from a collection by her bed (mostly classical music and, Enya CDs she borrowed from her dad), and a bedtime book. We read her book, then we have some Brain Quest's by her bed that we do two pages out of (my husband and I alternate nights on this part).
Then lights out, and we lay on her bed until she falls asleep.
She's usually sleeping within 10 to 15 minutes.
Then I go to my own room.
The first month of this and she did wake up and want to get in bed with us; but we would just lay down with her again, in her room, until she went to sleep.
We have a strict policy of not staying in her room all night.
She's six now and she kicks me out once the lights go out, but we still have out bedtime routine. I actually relish it as much as she does. It's a nice way to wind down the evening with the kids. I'm sure when she's older she won't want me to put her to bed at all. It kinda breaks my heart to think of it.
RPocai

I too have what you would call a strong willed (spirited) child, and although I think that super nanny has great ideas, they dont seem to work for me either! She is just too persistant! So, we gave up and made a place for our daughter by our bed. She is not allowed to get in our bed, but if she wakes up, she can get on the bedding on the floor. She is over 3 now, so another thing we have been doing is telling her that if she comes in our room, she does not get chocolate milk (ovaltine) when she gets up, but if she is in her room, she gets it. It seems to be helping, and at least she is not keeping us awake all night My oldest did not do this, but I guess each child is different. I will say, she does have to go to bed in her own bed, she only comes to her spot in the middle of the night. Give it a try, you might get some good sleep! ~A.~

Hi A.,

My 2 year old went through a phase for two weeks of waking up in the middle of the night and not wanting to go back to sleep. I did exactly what you are doing and that is to continue to put her back in the bed and she would continue to get up. What I learned is you can't back down. If you have to let her sleep in your room because you are exhausted, then make her sleep on the floor by the bed, but not in the bed with you. You may also try and keep a hall light on and her door open if its not already. It's just one of the frustrating phases they go through....it will end but you have to be consistent. Good luck!

J.
McKinney/Frisco

Hey A.,

We had this same issue with our daughter. We just put a baby gate up at her door. Some say it's like "caging" them, but what the heck is a crib?? This gives them more room...

Expect your daughter to cry at first, and fall asleep at the gate. This happend with our daughter and I've talked to other parents and this was the same scenario for them. After she falls asleep, just pick her up and put her into her bed. Eventually, she'll stop doing this.

If she wakes up in the middle of the night and cries at her gate, I suggest going to her once and reassuring her that you are right down the hall (or wherever your room is) and she is safe. I'd leave her door and your door open.

If your daughter is potty-trained, keep a potty chair in her room. I do this with our daughter and there is pee pee in it every morning! :D

I hope this helps!
A.

we were goiing through the same thing and we decided to stop with naps and it helped us incredibly....

If you only tried the Nanny tactic one night, you gave up too soon. You'll likely have to do it 3 or 4 nights for it to "stick." It's hard to do when you're exhausted, but maybe make it a point to go to bed at the same time as the kids for those few nights instead of staying up later. I think the mantra "short term pain for long term gain" would apply here. We've been doing something similar with our son who started wandering around the house at 4am. After the third night with a baby gate at his door (note the first two nights had him screaming at the gate from 4:30 to 6) he doesn't even bother opening his door anymore and we don't see his precious face before 6am. If a baby gate doesn't work, try one of those door knob covers. I have several friends who use them.
Some things I figured out with these kinds of tactics is that 1) it seems like it gets worse before it gets better, and 2) you have to control your emotions (i.e. make sure your words are in a loving tone, show the child you're empathetic towards them, and avoid sounding frustrated or angry). When she comes into your room and wakes you up, say "It's night time sweetie, get back in your bed." Then let her choose if she wants a night light on or off, or if she wants her door open or shut. We solved a lot of night time issues by simply leaving our daughter's door open and the hall light on. If she doesn't make a choice, choose for her, but stick to your guns! She'll throw the biggest fit ever because it's a way for her to gain control of the situation. If you stay cool, and just repeat the same words over and over, you can maintain control.
Another thought:
If having her in your room is an option (just not in your bed), talk with her during the day about her sleeping problems. Ask if she'd like a special bed in mommy and daddy's room for those nights when she's having trouble sleeping (she is just 2 and could have some legitimate fears, etc.). Leave a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor and give her the instruction that she's welcome to come in there at night as long as she doesn't wake you up. If she wakes you up, it's back to her own room. Put a night light or two in the hall or along the path between her room and yours to minimize the possibility of her waking you by bumping into things. This will also take some firmness on your part in the beginning because she won't likely be able to do it without waking you the first night. When it happens be sure to re-state the "rule" that if mommy wakes up, she goes to her own room. That way you're not the bad guy, the Rule is -- emphasize that it's HER choice whether or not she stays in mommy's room. It could take 3 nights or it could take a week. My son "corrects" pretty easily, so he's more of a 3-night kid. My daughter is a different story. She takes closer to a week, but the last half of that week looks much better than the first half. The "drama" gets shorter and shorter.
Good luck! Take a nap if you can!