My 4YO daughter has started getting up at night and finding other places in the house to sleep. It started in the spring with her trying to come to bed with us. We took her back to her bedroom, told her she couldnt sleep with us, she would cry, we would be up for 2 hours, then finally she would go back to sleep. Then we started waking up to find her on the couch in the living room or on the chair or couch in the family room. Now she is sneeking into my moms(she lives with us)room and sleeping on the floor. My mom is not very stable on her feet and didnt know she was there and almost feel over her thank goodness she was near her bed and fell onto her bed. So my mom is locking her door now. Which lead to Ellie sitting outside her door crying at 2am. I tried putting a baby gate up she knocked it down and woke her brother up. I even went as far as putting a childproof door knob cover on the inside of her door but she got out of that too. I know that was dangerous but she is wondering around a house in the middle of the night with stairs. I bought a sound machine that makes waterfall or ocean or rain noises to help her sleep it doesnt seem to be working. I put heavy blankets on her windows cause she says the "car lights" were bothering her. Im out of ideas she is not getting enough sleep she is very whiny during the day. She starts pre-k on sept 1st I need to get the resolved soon. EDIT: I wanted to add she does not take a nap anymore. She runs and plays a lot and we have a pool she swims in almost every day. She is in tap, ballet and swim classes so she is very sctive. I need sleep too LOL
I want to thank everyone for their responses. We are going down the list of ideas. WE started with the charting idea and have done it for 2 nights now and she has slept in her bed for 2 nights in a row. Tomorrow if she sleeps tonight she will get her first toy then we will move to 5 days of sleeping. If this doesnt work we go to the meletonin and so on. She is the type of child who is very independant and whats to do thing her way and likes to spite me and her daddy so I think that because we didnt want her to get out of bed might be the reason she was doing it. Now that she has a reason to stay in bed she is. Well can only hope it works.
work harder to prevent her from leaving her room. It will be annoying for a few days and then she'll get the message. My friend stacked baby gates to prevent climbing over.
We have four children. We let every one of them fall asleep in the security of our bed until they were old enough to be comfortable falling asleep alone in their beds. When they fell alseep we gently moved them into their own bed. If they woke up in the middle of the night and were afraid we let them crawl into bed with us. When they fell asleep we gently put them back in their bed. Our children always woke up in the morning in their own bed. If you make bedtime a battle no one will get any sleep in your home.
man i feel your pain. my daughter has been doing this EVERYNIGHT since she was 2. shes 5 now. we have actually been up next to her when she wakes up and it seems as tho shes sleep walking or not totally awake. i suggest watching and seeing if she seems like that. also i wanted to add that we have just started my daughter on melatonin it works great to get her to sleep but she still wakes up in the night so we just ordered some extended release melatonin i hope it works... its really safe and you can find it at any health food store. good luck!
Our almost 5 year old son comes to our room in the middle of the night. Our rooms are on the same floor and I have a gate by the stairs so he does not wonder far. My sister in law has a blow up mattress next to her bed , so if her kids feel like coming to her room they do not wake her and daddy up. I chose not to fight that battle(and no I do not practice attachment parenting). This is not going to last forever. There will be time when our kids will not want to be seen with us :)And to be honest I come from culture where we slept with parents/ grandparents till we were teens( space issue ) and I am not "messed up" and neither are millions of others.
My 8 year old still wants to sleep in our room periodically. I think it is just a comfort thing. We keep a blanket on the floor in our room so that he can still be with us...just not in the bed. It helps everyone sleep easier. I also find him asleep on the couch in the morning sometimes. He is a sleepwalker and so we have to make sure all doors are secure. I would just make it as painless as possible for her and you whatever you decide. She is only 4...
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We had a similar problem with our 3 year old daughter. We unscrewed her door knob, and put it back in backwards so we could lock her in. It's been working for almost a year now, and we don't have to worry where she'll end up or about her getting into the desitine!!:) Are you sure your child isn't sleepwalking?? I think ours was but she stayed in her room. Or, if you don't want to lock the door, put up an extra tall and sturdy safety gate at the end of the hall, before the bathroom.
It sounds like she has a type of seperation anxiety. Does not want to be alone. How about a puppy, or kitty? Pets give us such peace and love and they are great to snuggle. Your Mom should be thrilled to have that little girl snuggle with her, but apparently wants her privacy. She may see Preston getting extra attention, too, and this may be causing her to digress a bit. Good luck and God bless!
I wrote to another parent about my younger daughter who did not sleep through the night (http://www.mamasource.com/request/recent/40503/1251207344/1) and was, years later, found to have some severe sleep problems. I wish so badly that we had figured that out years sooner because then, I truly belive she would not have gotten so ill (http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/search?q=sleep). Without adequate sleep, there is a cascade of problems that can develop as the body is stressed and the immune system is impacted.
Melatonin, Tryptophan, etc really did help her when we finally got her on them, but I also think it may be very useful to rule out diagnosable medical problems that may be interfering with sleep.
For that reason, I'd get her a thorough physical, testing hormone levels, allergies, etc. A sleep study should be considered. Sleep hygiene and exercise and diet should be looked at.
One thing we did that I am very glad about is teaching her to occupy herself when she had insomnia. She was a very early reader, and one thing she did in the wee hours of the morning was read. She also played with her dolls.
And later, when her health and brain deteriorated and she felt anxious and scared, she often came into our room and slept on the floor.
Hugs.
J.
I was going to suggest the door knob plastic cover but if she can get out of that, I would try the hook and eye lock at the top of her door. Just those small ones that some places have on bath doors, the hook drops into the loop. Put it up high and when she stays in her room you can take it off and paint over the tiny hole. I would also sit down with her during the day or right before bed and tell her that it will no longer be tolerated. I would give her a chart that allows her 7 days staying in bed, a treat. Either her favorite restaurant, a toy, a party, etc She is old enough to know better and old enough to listen and obey.
When she does not listen, I would take something away. You can also think of putting a small alarm like noise on her door so you know when she opens it. You can put bells on her door if you are close to her room. We do that on Christmas Eve so we know when the kids get up. :O) You can probably buy a door alarm at Radio Shack or Electronic Express. All of these things are safe and in case of emergency, you can easily open that lock at the top of her door. Good luck!
Here's a positive approach that you could try. Our daughter is 3.5, and for most of her life has been a good sleeper. However, for the past several months she has woken me up almost every night in the middle of the night. I would have to get her settled back in her bed, then stay in her room until she fell back to sleep. Sometimes, that was immediate, but other times she might be awake for a couple of hours. I decided to try a positive approach, and we made a bedtime chart to use as a visual aid. We draw a picture of a bed at the top, write "Bedtime Chart" on it, then separate the rest of the paper into sections and number them. Since my daughter is learning how to write her numbers, I let her write the numbers on it. We started with 3 sections, which represented three nights of her staying in her bed and not waking me up. I explained to her how things ought to be at nighttime, that it's important for all of us to get our sleep and to stay in our beds, etc. Then I explained how the chart would work. For every night that she stays in her bed, she gets to put stickers on one section of the chart. Once a chart is complete, she gets a special surprise. I wanted to make a big first impression, so after the first chart and a couple of subsequent ones, we took her to the toy store and let her choose a small toy. I've adapted it now to an at-home reward box. I filled the box with small, mostly dollar item toys, and after a chart is completed, she can choose two of these toys. The first chart was 3 nights, the second one 5 nights, the third one 7 nights, etc. Since I'm doing dollar toys now, we'll probably settle in at at 7 to 10 nights. We've been doing this for several weeks now, and it has worked wonders for us. My daughter will still occasionally wake me up at night (very infrequently now), and I explain to her the next day that we can't put stickers on that day. But what I really stress is the positive side of things (But if you sleep all night tonight, you get to put stickers on tomorrow morning!) Oh, by the way, it did not work the first night we tried it. I painstakingly explained everything to her, she seemed interested, then she still got me up that night. However, the next day the concept seemed to click, and that's when things started getting better. Hope this is helpful.
We are having the same issue with out youngest who is also 4. Over the past few months, she gets up multiple times during the night and comes to our room. I'm a very light sleeper and hear her, even when she is crawling into the room in an attempt to not wake us so she can just sleep on the floor. I've found her asleep on the couch once. I'm just dealing with it as if it is another stage since my now 7 year old did the same thing for a short while around the same age. I always thought it odd because I never co-slept with any of my children. Anyway, I don't make a big deal, I get up, take her by the hand, or pick her up. I take her back to her bed, tuck her in, whisper good night and return to my own bed. Like most other things, it will end in time.
She's probably old enough to be able to express to you why she wants to sleep somewhere else besides her room. Maybe she's tried but said (or you 'perceived') something other than the real reason. Instead of asking her, 'Why don't you want to sleep in your room?', try asking, "Why do you want to sleep somewhere else?" That might help her give you more insight as to her 'phobia' or whatever it is. Maybe there's something she could have in her room that would soothe, comfort and/or satisfy her need, but don't go to extremes -- just something reasonable like a sippy cup of water by the bed, a nightlight (hidden from actually shining in her eyes as sleeping with a light can cause nearsightedness), a favorite toy or blanket, etc. The recordings you mentioned are a good idea, but it just may not be what would work for her, in particular.
Maybe a baby monitor in her room would alert you to when she gets up (or the alarm that someone else mentioned) and you can go right then and nicely but firmly put her back to bed as many times as it takes til she 'gets it'.
The melatonin suggestion is a viable one, also, but it sounds as if this has almost turned into a power struggle (which I was always determined to 'win' with my kids instead of tryng to 'understand' them, and I now regret it). You really need to know her true reason for leaving her bed in the night to truly solve the problem.
Hope this helps a little!
Honestly, she may NEED a nap added to her schedule. My son nixed the naps around 3, but always got them at pre-k. He would sleep much better after a day at pre-k with a nap time, so we added one back in at home at the same time they did one at the school. It worked! He was much less grouchy at the end of the day and so was easier to get to bed, and settle so he woke up less at night.
If it doesn't work, I'd see if there's something else bothering her. Maybe she's having nightmares or something is stressing her out and that's why she's waking in the night more frequently. If you can't find a remedy, maybe you could put a mattress at the foot of your bed until she outgrows this stage, if having her in your bed is unacceptable to you.
Ask her doctor if a melatonin supplement might be safe for her to take.
My son's doctor recommended it for him (he's five) and it helps a lot with his tendency to wander about at night.
Melatonin is a naturally occurring thing in the body that helps regulate sleep patterns.
Other things we've done to curb his wandering was to install a simple alarm on his door. (Basically it works like a circuit breaker. It has an on/off switch. You install one side on the door frame and one side on the door. When the door opens, the circuit breaks and an alarm/buzzer goes off.) Thanks to the alarm, he knows that we know he's up and trying to wander around and he usually doesn't wander around any more.
The only other thing I can suggest is to curb daytime napping to one 45 minute nap in the early afternoon, and try to give her some kind of regular exercise. (My son does children's yoga videos in addition to his normal running and playing and LOVES it.)
I hope any of these ideas help.
