He's sounds like he's finding comfort in Elmo instead of soothing himself, or allowing other influences in (he most likely can't think of anything as fun and exciting as Elmo). He can have all the tantrums he wants to have as its a normal age-appropriate reaction, but he's learning that if he screams loud enough, doesn't eat etc. he'll get his Elmo. If this power play is allowed to continue, it won't be just Elmo it will be lots of other things he wants and demands...if he's loud enough or doesn't eat, he'll learn he'll get to have it. I would start with "Elmo times" and enjoy it at certain times of the day that he can expect and look forward to (like after a nap). Then that's it...time to do other things like go outside, look at book, sing other songs (I'm sure he repertoire is quite small at that age and the Elmo song is one he's familiar to, so he wants that). If he gets used to other activities, songs etc. he may start to request those as well. Elmo is hypnotic and very brightly colored and animated...its no wonder he likes him. BUT pretty soon it won't be just Elmo...he'll discover something else just as exciting, so setting up groundrules now is the best bet. Enjoy Elmo in small doses, endure some pretty nasty tantrums for a while (it will be bad, but don't give in!!), and slowly he'll be more able to take in other influences and entertainment (perhaps learn to entertain himself). As for eating, he won't starve. When he's hungry, he'll eat...Elmo is only a distraction (put a cool little toy on his tray instead). As for car rides, turn up the radio and ignore the screams...he'll stop if he learns screaming gets him nowhere (right now he knows it does). You and your husband don't have to sing the Elmo song unless you want to. Then its radio time, LOL!! Good luck!!