Duggars!

Honestly, I prefer the Kardashians over this family. At least, the Kardashian's are honest on their values.

Is he safe around his own kids? I don't care how long ago this happened. I would never let him or anyone else whos done this, near my son.

Never watched the show or any of the stuff around it. I know there's been a LOT of hullabaloo over their kids getting married and having babies - I just rolled my eyes.

To be honest, I'm not going to research it. If there was sexual misconduct and these things REALLY happened?? Duggar needs to pay the price. Should TLC have booted them? I don't know. I don't watch the show so I don't know if anything of value is missing - I highly doubt it - as I wouldn't want to sit down and watch another family "live" while mine is with me.

Having had professional experience with children in this sort of situation, I strongly believe the media hype is causing more damage than whatever happened years ago.

Based on what little I've read, Josh was not/is not a pedophile or a predator. He was a mixed up child whose parents appropriately responded. Children in regular homes experiment with sex. This situation is complicated by the parents'apparent uptight views of sex. That view in itself can mess up kids.

If this family was your next door neighbor this really would not be a big deal for anyone but the fsmily. The 4 yo would not be damaged for life unless someone insisted she was. Nether would the preteen. I respect the Duggers for handling this low key.

Becoming extreme in views of sex is common for those trying to protect themselves from sex. I've never felt they were presenting an holier than though view. They were showing their own sexual insecurities. I suggest it's likely that those people very upset about this situation are doing the same.

Each one of us and our families are only responsibility for oursrlves. Others' choices are none of our business.

I understand being upset about the disconnect between what the Duggers said they believed and how they lived. I know that what happened with their family, although not common, is not rare.

Please show compassion for the family. Stop the judgment of a situation in which you have very little knowledge and the knowledge you do have is hyped up by the media. Tabloid information is never accurate.

I do not like what it says about our society that the girls and their well-being has been largely ignored in the firestorm around all this.

He "forcibly fondled" his sisters. Genitals and breasts. I believe the youngest was 4. That was in the police report.

I agree - the parents failed their kids. All of them. This affects everyone in their family - even the other brothers.

What has always bothered me and this confirms it is - they have always dressed their girls from head to toe covered and ensured they side hugged and don't dance so as not to encourage sinful or lustful thoughts in boys or young men. As if the girls are responsible.

And now this just makes it sadder.

Now it kind of makes sense - the chaperones, the strict rules, the ever vigilant parents - after the fact. And sure, this kind of thing happens around the world, in all kinds of families. And gets covered up.

It's just another set of parents who didn't handle it well. No help for any of the kids. Just sent him away, he had a stern talking to, and that was it.

I think him resigning from his position makes sense (isn't he promoting family values?) and TLC dropping the show only makes sense too - it was promoting family values.

As my friend said "I knew they weren't as perfect as they seemed - they even spanked using a rod" (in the police report). They are human. It's just sad - and that they think turning to God by itself is enough. That helps a lot of people, but I think if they promoted that (on TV) as being enough, TLC could not support that message.

I can't remember ever watching a whole episode of this show. But I have watched little pieces here and there throughout the years.
What I don't like is that it keeps being shouted from the rooftops that the "Duggars" have been hiding and keeping this thing secret.
No, the boy who did it and his parents did. The girls had nothing to do with it. They were the victims. So, Duggars are not the ones who hid it, the parents are.
But, then I am going to think outside of the box for a minute. (Darn my leadership class!). This boy was 14 when it happened. From what I have read in the police reports they did what I think most of us as parents would do. They sent him off to do hard labor, they set him and his sisters up with counselors, they talked with the elders of their church. What else should they have done?
The people I feel the worst for are those girls. They may have been hurt by their brother and WANT to say they are hurt, but because they are this "famous" family they may not ever get to be their authentic selves. And that is sad.

I have always been a very vocal person when it comes to my disgust at their views and teachings about sex and gender roles. Far too many views of theirs are so very unhealthy. I wish I could say I was surprised to learn of the actions of their eldest, but I'm not. I am livid that they hold such heavy influence that they were able to completely hide, bury and make this go away for so long and he was never held accountable for his crimes. They claim he went to counseling and "hard physical labor" but all they did was send him to hide with family members. They should not be above the law like this!! Religious beliefs or not!!
TLC has done the right thing in pulling their show. Who's to guess what else they were able to cover up within their family? So many of their practices and beliefs are dangerous and akin to a cult and not a healthy religious organization. Sadly people look to them as role models. TLC would be showing their continued approval and backing to a dangerous cult. Granted, I've always hated they did in the first place but this finally shows the depth of the danger. The Duggars willfully and intentionally put themselves above the law!! The son was turned in but then they quickly went against the courts and waited out the statute of limitations so that they couldn't do anything to him. They planned it that way, there is no denying it. They knew exactly how to work the system!! That is disgusting to me beyond anything else.
The son is a victim of his life and teachings. A part of me feels sorry for him. I hope that he sees the harm and decides not to bring his children up the same way. I hope he can break away from the brainwashing of the cult he grew up in. I hope the other children are able to break away from this terrible cult as well.

I have seen the show a few times and I am not a fan of it. I admit watching out of curiosity.

I am most angered that the mom and dad covered this up... He molested their own daughters as well as others. That is just unforgivable to me.

I don't know what planet they live on to think it is ok to just send him off to a bible camp for a year to "get fixed" and go one their merry way, knowing that the girls who were molested are not over this.

Sick, just sick.

It reminds me of my MIL (I never met her) who punished her daughter (my crazy sick SIL, I have met and there is a restraining order) because MIL caught her husband raping my SIL and MIL accused SIL of trying to steal her husband. SIL was not older than 10 at the time. SICK SICK SICK My husband left this sick family that night, never to return and never to see his mom alive again.

Disgusted beyond belief that they (him and his family and their supporters) are referring to this incident, excuse me, multiple sexual assaults, as an unfortunate "teenage mistake."
Um, no, a teenage mistake is sneaking out with your boyfriend or drinking your parents' liquor, not finger banging your little sisters and any other little girls that happen to be around.
This family is creepy and delusional and their son is sick.

As a person with huge families of fundamentalists in my own family by my mom's marriage, I was accepting of their enormous brood. I didn't watch the show or anything but I wasn't on the HOW DARE THEY HAVE SO MANY KIDS? bandwagon, because I'm familiar with the parenting style and the self-sufficiency of the kids in those families. And I took their intolerance of gays blah blah as par for the annoying course because it comes with the territory unfortunately. My Christian relatives tune in to Fox news and there is no more vile and hateful anti-Christian-ish influence on earth than Fox news. and the politics of the right wing are scary...but I digress.. there are good things about the lifestyle too, and I think they get sucked into their big old families and don't mean to get so ignorant of the outside world. Most of them are great people raising great kids.

It's super tempting feel like, "Oh, now who's the pervert!!!??!!!" toward people who act better than everyone else for being born straight. But really I always feel a bit sad when people's private scandals are outed because I can't imagine how it must feel to have the entire world know your dirtiest private laundry.

But meh. Can't hurt them to be on the other end of the judgement stick when they waved it around so freely...

I read some report where Michele was relating their deep prayers for mercy in overcoming this whole thing. Eye roll. All that glorious healing mercy that's only reserved for heterosexuals and Christians in their opinion..

In any case, I hope this was some awful transgression from his youth that is well over with and we won't hear that there are even bigger issues. And I agree with you, the stifling of sexuality taught in those families is not helping anyone.

Yes, we knew they were creepy and strange. All of those children. How on earth do you give each child enough guidance and time? I just could never understand her need to be pregnant.

I know some women love being pregnant and having babies in the house, but when you cannot keep up with what your children are doing, or what is happening to them, you need to stop and reevaluate your life.

These young sisters and the other girl, I can only hope they will go and seek the help they will probably need. Being molested is not something you get past. It is always there and pops up when you least expect it. To have that be your brother, uncle to your children? Oh hell no..totally messed up.

What a mess.

What disgusts me about the whole thing is something a friend of mine pointed out. This is the same man who has said homosexuals are all child molesters. Hmmm.

Beyond that, I truly hope the victims got help. I had a friend that I have since list touch with who was abused by her brother. Her parents refused to believe it. She had do many issues because of that. It was something that she couldn't get over, even with counseling. I hope there are no more victims-- past or future.

Sadly, these things happen in all kinds of families, not just big ones.

I pray all those involved will get the help they need and that the parents will do better with their younger children. In other words maybe they will rethink how they raise their kids and be a little more open about life.

I figure their show has run is course, just like Kate plus 8 and all the other stupid (fake) reality shows.

Thank you, S.! Far from excusing Josh and his actions, I do think it's very important to understand what a sheltered, controlling, twisted environment he grew up in. I'm sure he had little to no sex education beyond "sex before marriage is sinful," and I would bet just about anything that he was also taught that masterbation and "impure thoughts" were sinful and never to be discussed.

The parents are also blaming the girls for the way they dress or act saying that they cause young men to have impure thoughts.

I do know that Josh is not innocent, but I think it's important to remember that his sheltered environment didn't stop at "sex is for marriage." Their views are way more twisted than that.

I don't look at this as a "got-ya" moment. It is just sad.

AW S., how did I miss this, I get bored and don't log on for a couple days, and FINALLY something good to read about and answer!

(no offense to any other questions I just couldn't answer because they didn't apply to me in the last few days).

Honestly, I can't say much that others haven't already. I have been fascinated by them over the years, as I tend to be with FLDS mormons, amish, and so on.

But I do want to share that I have a sister who was molested in a similar manner (somewhat "mildly" and by a young teenager close friend who is probably not a lifelong pedophile, just making bad choices). And you know what, it took her YEARS to recover. Were my parents normal, vigilant, supportive, open, loving people? Yes. So were his. It happens. It's not good when it does. And if it is repressed or hidden... even worse.

I support TLC's decision because it is consistent. If we can't watch Honey boo boo's family in all their f'd up glory, then we can't watch their's either.

Rather see the Kardashian's dropped. They are selfish and vulgar and too bad they continue to reproduce.

The Duggar's son's tween sexual exploration is unfortunate, but not unusual for boys or girls, so yes I think TLC made too much of it.

The shows like Kardashians, Real Housewife's (et all), Basket Ball Wives, Mob Wives, Rich Shas, Rich Kids, Jersey Shore are all far more offensive then the Duggar's. Personally I think they should all be dropped. Most of those "so called" wives are divorced or separated.

I like show's like The Little Couple, Baby Birth Stories, Move That House etc. I prefer substance or funny.....NOT Vulgar, Selfish, Stupid and Creepy.

Shocked.
They seemed to be more "mainstream" lately.
The older girls seem happily married and starting families of their own.
It's my understanding that he confessed to his parents and they sought counsel from their religious leaders.
THEN, the father spoke to a state trooper friend but the statuette of limitations had run out by then.
I've heard no mention of a police report, as referred to me another poster below....
I can only hope the girls involved got some help & counseling--they are the real victims here.
The show is cancelled, as it should be.
But justice? Yeah...no.

I am very glad that their creepy cult is being dropped from TV. In a world that is as overpopulated as it is and these people keep having babies and taxing our resources. It made me sick that these people were actually getting paid to be that messed up. Just as bad a Honey Boo Boo.

TLC did good in dropping the show.
I think people should live their lives pretty much however they want to - provided they aren't breaking any laws, they can afford their chosen lifestyle (as in they are not depending on welfare to bail them out of their reproductive choices) and they aren't forcing others into doing the same as they do.
That being said I find it creepy how close their lifestyle is to societies like Taliban minus the burqas.
Even the Pope now says it's not necessary to breed like rabbits.
I don't agree with him on every point but I'm developing a respect for that man.

To my surprise, I'm answering your question. I like what Marda said - she is right. If people didn't see this family on TV, no one would be talking about this. Parents all over America turn a blind eye to their children's faults, for better or for worse. Parents all over America pretend that their children could never do wrong. When they are hit in the face with it, they blame others, they put their heads in the sand. The Duggars are no exception. Deeply religious people expect their children to do what they believe, even if what they believe flies in the face of normality. This is the Duggars in spades.

The Duggar parents talking to the police and sending the boy away for a time was right. Other parents have done much less. Did they do enough? No. Having someone work with him who was not a trained psychologist was certainly not the right thing to do. That was no help. They got no help for the girls. More putting their heads in the sand.

These parents didn't know much about how to handle such an out-of-THEIR-reality problem as a son messing with sex on any level, much less an abberant one. This doesn't excuse them.

The police letting this go and the judge destroying records is an obstruction of justice. People calling the boy a rapist is wrong. People who are happy that "they are getting theirs" are just asking for karma to bite them in the butt for their poor behavior. As if life will never come throw awful barbs that aren't expected. The old adage "There but for the grace of God go I" should be something that people remember, and consider themselves grateful that life treats them well.

If the parents are assigning ANY blame whatsoever to the girls, that is just terrible. The boy, grown up, working for "family values" fighting gay rights, etc was stupid, stupid, stupid. The mother commenting publicly about any sexual variance, which she has done, was stupid, stupid, stupid. When you live in a glass house, you shouldn't throw stones. And that's exactly what she and her son have done.

There is so much wrong here, on all sides, on all levels.

If this young man really was sorry for what he had done in his younger years, he should have been working with a group that help abused women and children instead of pretending that he didn't have an aberrant past himself. His mother should have empathy for other mothers who have children who live life in a "different" way than they expected, and should not have been part of the judgmental dialogue about people who live their lives differently from their conservative views. She of all people should know it's like to have a child who acts "different".

Instead, she and her son have both opened them up to ridicule and anger from the community at large.

Should TLC take them off the air? Yes. Including the re-runs. The best thing that can come out of them being off the air is that people who think like they do, who think that just pretending that sex doesn't exist, are faced with the consequences of it. The best thing that can come of it is that these children are forgotten by the public as they grow up. The family can have some privacy to try to get past this. Without that, these kids are going to end up internalizing the thought process that they should take up for this boy and believe that his behavior was justified in order to protect the family.

I think its human nature to feel satisfaction when your point of view is vindicated. The glee however comes from a place of hate. The "haters" hating the haters it you will. I get hating the influence of their political involvement. But if you read the responses, people also hated their alternative life style. Even by Christian cultural standards, they are counter culture. And all this talk of accepting alternative lifestyles? Its a lie isn't it? (I'm talking irrespective of the molestation which can happen in any type of family). Its clear that alternative lifestyles are accepted by the "accepting" crowd when they fall under the "do as thou wilt" genre, just not the living to a higher moral code genre. So yea, you hate the Duggers. Thats all.

I only feel sadness for the girls who were victimized, because they are being victimized all over again with all the media attention. Media outlets don't regularly report the names of victims in these situations, but because of the nature of this one, they are speculating about which girls it might have been, and they are pursuing the family with questions and they shouldn't be. The whole thing is a mess.

I agree with you 100%. I've been wishing that show would be dropped for forever

What would anyone do to him now? Seriously? It's just like you said, they didn't teach him about his feelings and biological things happening to his body.

From what the media said last time I looked he "touched" private parts. Not sex or intercourse. Although it could have changed since last time I looked that's not molestation in anyone's books. That's more like playing doctor.

Even at his age he was socially stunted so his mental age was probably closer to 7 or 8. That's when boys start having erections and it feeling good when they touch it. He was told it was a sin so he didn't know how to handle his feelings.

So yes, he did wrong things when he was younger. They did that church thing and followed a pastors idea. Bad choice. The officer should have turned the complaint over to the state for child welfare to investigate. They probably would have told Jim Bob and Michelle that if they didn't get him real treatment they'd take the kids to protect them from possible further sex playing/activity

But seriously....IF IF IF it was like playing doctors and nothing more like actual insertion then would you send your child off to a rehab for sex offenders place? Even at age 14 if they were really socially stunted?

What would you have them do now? He seems to be an exemplary father and upstanding adult, should he do something now? What? What about the people that he looked at or touched? I think it's sad this was leaked to the press, if for nothing more than that those effected don't have privacy any more.

Hi S.,

Don't have much else to contribute...as most of the entries below are very thoughtful and well articulated.

I will say this though...I abhor hypocrisy and this is the poster family for that very thing. They are antimedia and yet they make their living making tv shows and doing magazine interviews, for doing what?? reproducing??

I'd rather roll around in glass than to have a conversation with a Kardashian but at least they own what their doing and don't misrepresent the media ho's they've worked for a decade to become.

okay two points:: I feel terrible for the victims. He clearly needs help and if he has daughters then CPS needs to get involved to ensure their protection.

I don't much care for this family. I think the parents have been to focused on popping out kids that they aren't raising their kids. Sad really. I want all of those shows to go away.

That said, if someone doesn't believe in certain things, I'm not going to be nasty and name call. I just don't agree. The hypocrisy is what gets me. You don't believe in gay marriage, ok. But don't have your oldest son be a sexual deviant. Did TLC handle it correctly? Yes.