My 8yo is ADHD... so that's something to consider.
Often... absolutely does he do things the first time I ask him to, and most of the time I tell him to do something. And we have a special code that means that something has to be done *immediately* no questions asked. We mostly taught this in game format, but it's come in useful from time to time in every day life. Most of the time, however, no one's life is at risk if instant compliance isn't granted. So I don't demand it, except to train for times when someone's life IS at stake.
There are also tons and tons of times I ask or tell him to do something that either he questions it, throws a fit about it, or cheerfully agrees and promptly forgets, and times where he gets distracted by something shiny in between point A and point B. ((What we're working on for the distracted by x between A & B is not actually NOT getting distracted, but keeping point B in mind for when X is complete, OR seeing if the "mission" can be altered to include x. It's actually a very useful observational skill to be able to deal with the unexpected as things crop up... but it can be devastating to completely forget point B. So we're working on compartmentalization and prioritizing.))
I don't TELL my son to do a lot of things... most of the time I ask. And if I'm asking "no thanks" is a completely correct answer. As is "Do you mind if I ________ first?" or "After x, y, z... absolutely." Ditto if something HAS to happen I don't ask. I tell.
I don't punish for not listening, but I do reward for both listening and helping (aka doing something I ask him to do). A lot of what we work on in our house is pattern and repetition (with adhd one really wants to grind in routines so that necessary things will still happen even when your mind is on something else), intent, drive, curiosity, doing the right thing for the right reasons, and helpfulness.
We also work on identifying things that are rude (in our culture and others), what respect looks like/ feels like/ how to express it. AKA social navigation. We do a lot of this by working in reverse. AKA in order to figure out how one shows respect, we intentionally teach rudeness. And vice versa. We also do a lot of emotional self regulation training, and ways to express or "put on hold" emotional reaction.
By figuring out the edges of each concept it allows my son (or anyone in a new culture) to navigate with the fewest number of social blunders / unintentional hurt.
TYPICALLY I handle "battles" by changing the rules. I'm not fond of fighting, I'd rather improvise and adapt. There's usually a REASON why something is a battle... I'd rather find the root cause and fix it there than bulldoze and insist on my way.