Does This Seem Weird to You??

Meh... if it was ONE girl, that might give me pause. But a couple of (giggly teenagers?) girls together? Nah.... Probably he was nice or fun to work for, they were in that town for some other reason or were bored and it gave them something to do or something to talk about later.
I can see them chatting at work amongst themselves and remembering funny stuff or whatever and going "hey, we should go see him and say hey" and then "oh yeah, we totally should!" and then boom. They did.
I don't think it is any more "sinister" than that. Geez.
I was a teenager working in a fast food place at one point in my life. I had ZERO desire to "get with" any of my managers, but some of them were fun to work with. A great asset (fun fellow employees/manager) when you are working a pretty miserable job for low pay.

And if I visited a former co-worker at a McDonald's, I doubt I would eat either! It took me YEARS to ever want to eat mcD's after I moved on from that after-school job.

Is there something more to the story than this? I've visited former bosses and coworkers without trying to "get with them". Goodness.

They probably didn't eat because they were sick of Wendy's food.

Dawn

My husband gets hit on everyday at work. He's a dump truck driver. The drivers are all men, but there are women in the offices that he must interact with. They even bake him cookies. Am I jealous? Ehh not so much. He comes home to me every evening. It is normal to feel slightly insecure, especially if you have been wronged before. But if you trust him then what others do won't matter to you at all. If you dictate who he can be around then you are setting yourself up for failure. And if he's working it really shouldn't be an issue anyway. HE did nothing wrong, regardless of how you view the other people's role in it.

Depends, is the town like 10 minutes away, or is it a 30 minute drive? If your husband was an awesome manager and respected by his team, I would not think it would be weird for some girls (not just 1, I'm guessing, but several) that he managed to visit to see how he was doing. They may have been running errands in the town and included a visit to his new place on their trip. Maybe I'm not suspicious enough.

And the real point is, do you trust HIM? Cause if he isn't interested, and he knows you trust him, it's not an issue.

Towns can be like Pittsburgh-Cleveland "close" or 2 suburb towns of the same city close. 10 minutes or 2 hours apart?
I highly doubt they're trying to "get" with him.
I still remember O. of my managers I worked for when I was in high school. If I saw him, I'd remember him 20+ years later. Talking to him wouldn't mean I was trying to "get with" him.
Putting the "mood" on him? I don't get that.

Hello. I don't know what to think. She didn't tell him that she went out of her way to see him or anything so it's hard to decide.
Let's just say the girl does like him, then what? Some teenagers crush on older people, especially ones in authority. There is nothing anyone can do to stop her feelings. Your husband is responsible for how he handles the situation. If he finds out that she is romantically interested in him AND she tries something HE needs to responds in an appropriate manner. If he acts on it by having an affair THEN it will be time for you to take non-violent action. Until then, please try to focus on better things.

Well, he told you about it, maybe so you would say something positive like "Wow Babe, you must be a good boss for the girls to come visit ya... do you miss the old store?" Maybe they admire him and wanted to check out the new store and follow him to it?

I think it's a trust thing really. Do YOU think something is going on? Do you think these girls are after him? Do you think he got transferred purposely because he flirts with the employees?

Might be good for you to stop by and have lunch now and then. He might have told you this just to get your attention. Hard to say really. I hope its nothing and the girls just stopped by out of admiration, and he was sort of gloating about it to you so you would think he was special too.

I think you are seeing way too much into this. Plus he told you about it. I agree with Dawn, I have gone to visit my old bosses or coworkers at their new jobs.

I wasn't trying to make the moves on them.. I just missed them.

You know we spend more awake time with those we go to school with or work with, we do miss them when they are gone.

Not eating while visiting, makes total sense.. They are probably sick of that food.

Look inside yourself and figure out where your concern, anger, distrust is coming from.

I'm not sure if you need to worry or not. Only you know the real history, and how all of this goes together.

However, I have two thoughts about this:

1. Knowing the area, I can see anyone going from one town to the next. We often drive from Bloomington to Indy, and stop in Martinsville. There isn't much in between all of these little towns, and not much in them, at that. So I see it plausible that they happened to be in the same town.

2. Fast food restaurants are usually full of younger workers, and it's a fun place to be. If you have a fun manager, it makes going to work even more enjoyable. I can see that the girls either do have a crush (normal), and/or just miss their fun manager. The new manager may be in the beginning stages of his/her career, and is more straight laced/strict = less fun. They miss that, and want to visit their old manager.....the fun guy.

And, running around with your girlfriends in the summer is NORMAL. Why not drive over to see fun manager? There's nothing else to do.

I would be more worried about the missing money. That can affect so many other aspects of your life.

Good luck. I hope you two get things worked out, and you can trust him more (if he deserves it).

well, if you're uncomfortable and he's defensive, that's enough reason right there for him to discourage this kind of friendship.
i don't understand why you're mad at the girl and not at him. she doesn't owe you anything. if indeed she IS trying to put the moves on him, it's for him to shut her down. men who don't put out 'available' vibes don't get pestered.
but it's also perfectly possible that these girls liked their old manager because he was good to them and wanted to stop by and say hi to him.
sometimes if you're already suspicious you look for trouble where there is none.
the trust issues in your marriage are troubling. and go way beyond some little chick stopping by a wendy's to say hi.
khairete
S.

How old are the girls? If they are teens, this can go either way. Either one of them has a crush or they just respect him. My girl friends and I sometimes gave gifts to our male high school teachers for their birthdays or at the end of the year, just because we appreciated the good job they did teaching us. I can see how college students would think it was a great idea to drop in on their old manager if they happened to be in the same town. But past the age of 20, I don't think I would ever have done this myself. Even as a teen I would have been aware of it being an unusual thing to do, I just wouldn't have cared about what anyone thought.

Guys like the attention. Hell, who am I kidding? Wouldn't you be a bit flattered if someone was giving you that attention? It doesn't mean you are going to give him a BJ in the bathroom at work, does it???? Let him be flattered.

I trust my husband and if a chick was doing the same thing, I'd laugh and say, "You dumb@$$, she's flirting with you!" It takes the charge out of it because I've laid all the cards on the table. I'm pretty secure....and vice versa. I work with people where I have guys in my office all day long behind a closed door. He has nothing to worry about, even if I do get hit on. It is what it is. I'm still coming home to him every night....and NOT being inappropriate.

Geesh, maybe they were in town to do something with some other friends. Maybe they were in town for one of them to go to the doc and it wasn't his business. Perhaps they were having lunch with someone else. I go to neighboring towns all the time and end up seeing people I used to be friends with.

I would think nothing of this, especially since he told you.

They had plenty of time to "make the mood" on him when they spent hours together each shift. Maybe they respected him and miss him as their supervisor. He might be a nice person to work with.

You need some counseling - individual and marriage.

My individual answer is that it would not seem weird because I have no reason not to trust my husband. If you already are insecure, have trust issues, or other personal or marital issues, then I can see how it would seem odd.

yeah I agree with you. Unless they needed to ask a work related question or do something that is work related, then I would not be ok with that either.

First, I'd flip out, but I have trust issues, lol.

That being said I think back to a sermon at my church that went to great lengths to explain why it isn't ok for married men to be friends with women, or for married women to be friends with men. It just isn't a situation that ever looks good and normally it isn't innocent, and even if these issues don't exist it causes them to come up in relationships and it isn't necessary. I have male friends, but I'm also friends with their wives and I'm not spending time alone with them.........

not everyone would agree with this logic, my husband doesn't agree with this logic, and maybe it is only my own insecurities that make me remember this sermon, but it also means that there are others that can see a situation like this and not simply focus on how you have trust issues but focus on what situations like this do to perfectly healthy and happy relationships.

I would not have an issues about it BUT, I don't have trust or insecurity issues either.

My first thought when I read your post was that maybe your husband made a difference in their life. He was an authority figure, role model and could have helped them through some tough times as far as learning responsibility, etc.

You don't know what background these girls had and how he might have helped them (mentally, not physically). Yes, one of the girls might secretly have a crush on him just like many girls do with a male teacher,etc. Your husband should be smart enough to control himself and be respectable with that situation.

Bottom line... I wouldn't be snooping on him trying to find something because if you snoop, you will always come up with questions. I am honest as they get and if my hubby was a snooper (or if I were) of course we'd find things to question because of different contacts, etc.

You and hubby need clearer communication and that needs to happen a LOT not only when there are issues. Let him know why it bothers you, admit to being insecure and he should be respectful enough to respect your wishes until you get more self confidence within yourself.

As for the money, no question, that is wrong. Someone who is responsible needs to take over the finances. It is NOT ok for a spouse to spend money that is set aside to be applied to keeping the family stable. I would have bigger issues with that than with the girls.

Best wishes to you and even though everyone on here does not have the same opinion, it is ok... you feel how you feel so dont let that bother you. Work on yourself at your pace and communicate with hubby.

I don't understand the big deal. I was always friends with my managers where ever I worked. When I changed jobs, or they did. I would stop and see them. Even invited most of them to my wedding.

I agree with K..

If she's visiting, even as "friends," it's not benign. And that he's getting defensive shows that there is something there that shouldn't be.

Bottom line: If my Guy says that he's not comfortable with a male being friends with me, I'm going to break it off because I respect my Guy more than I care about that so-called friendship.

if you didn't have back history, I wouldn't be stressed over this. I understand your concerns, tho'.

I would look at this as a one-time event....& let it go.

You're making too big a deal over it. BC he was defensive doesn't prove anything to the way you're thinking about this. Maybe he was proud of the thought that they thought enough of him to visit. Maybe he prides himself for being a good manager and boss to those working there. Maybe the girls were going shopping or something and decided to stop in.

Personally, I'd have to see a lot more than this to suspect him or having a fling or what have you.

Ask yourself, "what kind of man is he, what kind of man did I marry?" Do you have a reason not to trust him?