Does She Just Need More Sleep?

Sounds like you are on target with her needing more sleep. You might also take a look at what she may be eating, anything in her diet new? I would try getting her to bed a little earlier and see if that helps. She could also be going through a bit of pre-puberty (I know she's young, but I've seen it happen).

Could be the lack of sleep or it could just be her age & wanting to test her boundries & your patience. Our older son will be 8 next month & can have quite a 'tude at times. We always tell him that he's being rude & disrespectful & that he needs to shape up. Soemtimes he gets a time out, depending on how heinous (SP?) it is. I like that you won't acknowledge her while she's acting this way but I suggest she be the one to leave the area & think about it in her room or some other time out area in the house. We're big on praising the postive in our house & can see that it makes such a big difference. Whenever our boys are polite, respectful, caring etc, we always thank them for acting that way. We also have marble jars for each & they will get marbles for good behavior as well w/a reward once they each reach their agreed upon amount. But what I think is key is that you remain consistent in your expectations of her, the consequences for poor behavior & also remain as neutral as possible....I know, easier said that done! Part of why she's doing this is to get your goat so try your bst not to lose your cool. Best of luck!

Could be that, but also a combination with other things that have already been suggested. Seven is a typical age for kids to begin to test the limits a little more. She may be hearing some things from kids at school that she is trying out at home. Be sure you talk with her at a calm moment... not during her really sassy, rebelious time... about what the boundaries of acceptable behavior are in your home. (If you're like me, you may have to sit down yourself and/or with your husband to decide what issues you want to make priority boundaries first).
When you have discussed the boundaries, then work with her on consequences. I think I would first ask her what she thinks an appropriate consequence might be for a particular behavior. If she comes up with something you can work with, accept that. If her idea of a consequence isn't quite right for you, try to make an adjustment to it so that it works for both of you. This way, she is learning to make good choices, and when she is pouting or whatever later because she doesn't like the consequence, remind her that it was her choice to have that particular consequence. You may end up with different consequences for different behaviors, or you might end up with one consequence that works for all.

Let me end with a little personal experience that may illustrate another way to handle things. I take care of my grandchildren in my licensed daycare. One day the four year old granddaughter decided she didn't like something I was telling her she needed to do. She responded with a very sassy "I'm not your granddaughter any more!" Instead of getting upset with her, I simply said "That's good! It will save me a lot of money come December 25th(which happens to also be her birthday). Just think, no birthday gifts to buy; no Christmas gifts to buy.... Gee! I think with the money I save I'll be able to go to a spa and get a good massage." A situation that normally would have turned into a battle of wills with her, turned into a rather quick change of attitude on her part. It took less than five minutes for her to be back saying "I really do want to be your granddaughter." We had our hugs and forgiveness and it was all over. But, her younger sister only took about ten minutes more, and me telling her to do something she didn't want to do, to decide she'd try the same tactic on me... and got the same kind of answer... with the same result. Life with kids is such fun!!! LOL

Is she eating well? My son gets very cranky when he is hungry. Make sure she is eating well at all her meals. Good Luck...

I have a six year old son who went through the same thing when 1st grade started...he has always taken two hour naps every day, and when he didn't he was sassy, argumentative and prone to tantrums. Like yours, he has always woken up at six-ish, regardless of time to sleep at nite. In my opinion, your little girl sounds definitely overtired. When I consulted my pediatrician, he told me that it isn't what time they go to sleep and what time they wake up, it is how many hours. Maybe if you start putting her down again at the regular time this will help. Once the time change happens she should adjust on her own (after all she will be going down on hour later, and should sleep the same amount of hours). With my son, he usually adjusts his own clock internally, with only a day of two of transition time. I hope this helps, hang in there! At this age, I have found that kids are going thru a personality transition as well, wanting to still be a baby, but wanting to be grown up as well, a definite confusing time that manifests itself in sassiness. Just be consistent in discipline and hang on to your patience!

Emily,

7 year olds go through this rough stage of yucky language. They try out tone and be very aggressive. (I think their minds they are being assertive.) My daughter is coming through this now. She's on her way of this phase I suspect. Additionally, she takes a nap most days on the way home from school. That has decreased this year, buy historically she has slept all the way home from school (35-45 min. drive). She hadn't been sleeping for the last few months, and now she's back to sleeping. I chalk that up to a growth spurt coming or in the process.

Hold firm to what you believe in and expect from you daughter, but also understand what is happening and articulate that back to her. When my daughter is filled with tone and demands, sometimes I restate what she said as a question, "I'm sorry. I didn't really understand. We you trying to ASK me to move over so you could......" When I get a confirmation, I ask her to ask again.

We also do a lot of talking on the way home from school and at bedtime. At these times, I often hear about who has "been mean" and how hurt she is feeling. We talk through the school social dynamics. I ask how she might handle the situation next time. She's finally coming to the place where she says, "I can stick-up for myself." She's even asked to role play. Yeah.

Check in with her about what's happening in her life. We have found more pushing back at home and tone when she is feeling powerless at school. Yes, we're talking to the school about it.

Good luck,
Stephanie

Hello Emily,
I went through something similar with my daughter a few years back, but she was 10 at the time. I was aware of some issues she was having at school with a group of girls (but one in particular). I thought I was getting the whole story about what was happening. However, one day she came home with a story of how she got disciplined by the yard duty teacher over something that the other girl had done and then lied to the yard duty about. Well, the yard duty involved is a personal friend of mine, so I called her to find out what was going on. I listened to her for 10 minutes about all the things going on between my daughter and her friends and this mean girl with her group of friends. It all fell into place when I realized that everything this friend was describing to me was an exact duplicate of the attitude and behaviors I was seeing at home. What I concluded was that my daughter was "learning" from this mean girl how to incorrectly handle problems at home. So, anytime she didn't get her way, or I did something that she didn't like, she was giving me the exact same attitude she was getting (and then giving back) to this mean girl at school. So, it's possible that your daughter has learned this behavior from others, either ones that she herself has been involved with, or maybe has only witnessed. You might want to check with her teacher at school to find out if anything has been going on there, or check with other adults where she spends time to see if they can enlighten you. Good luck.
K. P.

No darlin, she is just reaching the age of sas. Take a DEEP breath. Talk to her about appropriate ways to talk to you, have an appropriate punishment for sassing, like 15 minutes less of TV. Not all children are alike, you will find that each of your children will act differently. This one may be your rebel. =)

My six year old has been needing 11-12 hours of sleep a night, so I wouldn't be surprised if she would when she is 7.

Also, I really like the book "Playground Politics" by Stanley Greenspan. My therapist recommended it to me, and sitting on the floor letting my daughter lead in playing Barbies really does make a difference! (it's one of the major recommendations from the book)

I have to use audiobooks to get my child to laydown, or read to her.

Hi Emily, sounds like she wants your attention. Have there been any other changes in the home? Are you spending equal time with her? My other thought is if she is getting into bed with you maybe she thinks that is her time with you.Being in bed by 8pm and up by 5:30am is a hard schedule for an 8 year old. I would not ignore her mouthing off because her behaviour will get worse with no response. I would react appropriately to the acting out, but I would also take her and sit down and talk to her. I would put her on my lap and talk to her for a while. Ask her about her day and tell her I love her and tell her if anything is bothering her she can talk to me. If you already asked, try again with a different approach. 8 year olds are amazingly perceptive and smart. Just talk to her. Good luck

I would not so much worry about the sleep but the sassing. You need to nip it inthe bud right away.

Not speaking to her when she talks like that is great so good for you but for it to be really effective, you must keep it up until she apologizes for being disrespectful. Also, when she stomps around, it is time for a time-out and one minute for each year of her age - 7 yrs...7 minutes. Super Nanny uses this all of the time and if youa re consistent, it does work.

Thelast thing. Get her out of your bed at night. Just keep taking her back and back and back. You know what to do so let us support you.

Be consistent and remember that you and your husband write the rules for your house -

God bless and good luck -

B.

Emily,

Take her to the dr. for a check up. She might have low iron. My daughter was always falling asleep, she would fall asleep in the middle of dinner... long story. But we now feed her super food and make sure she eats dark greens and red meat to boost her iron. She is doing much better, not only is she awake but not such a cranky gus anymore either. Her school work is also better as she can focus on what she needs to do now.

Good luck.

I have made sure to teach my children about the power of choice. I think it helps them to learn that we choose how we treat people and how we feel and how we act. It is an impowering concept that my foster mom gave me when I was a teenager and being a victim to life. She told me I was the only one who could change things. She gave me the power to choose differently. I have started this very young with my kids and they have been able to self correct some things that have come up with behavior and how to treat others through this concept. Start talking with your daughter about how her choices on how she treats you or others might effect her life. I would start with talking about how when people speak kindly ,others really feel good inside and want to help or give back. We have to explain how our actions affect others. We know, but our children need to learn so they need us to spell it out for them. Ask her about how she feels when people speak a certain way to her, nice and not nice. Lets make it connect to her so she understands what power our words and tone of voice have. And never accept being talked to in a harsh or mean way. This of course means that us moms have to be mindful of how we speak to our children and others. Sometimes my kids ask why other kids at school talk mean or harsh. We talk about how they feel when they hear that and they know they don't want to make someone feel that way. So they don't feel they have to talk that way and are comfortable sometimes standing alone in their beliefs. For instance alot of the boys call each other names or use negetive words in conversation( stupid, retard, dummy) And my 9 year old son has choosen to not talk that way and he feels very proud that he hasn't givin in to it. Nobody seems to notice yet but he one of the most popular boys and I am sure it's because he's a nice guy. Lets empower our kids to choose . It's a great gift that will help them in life. I know personally. I hope this made sense and is helpful, also it dosn't mean we don't slip up and have grouchy days. Those are just oppoutunities for us to role modle how we say I'm sorry and this is why I was feeling this way and this is how I am going to change it. Best wishes A little add on, as I was just having breakfast with my three year old she said "can I please have more pancakes mama?" "Thank you mama." And I said to her "You have very nice manners Malia. Thank you for asking so politley. It sounds maybe a bit corny at first but starting at a young age it really teaches them to feel good about speaking kindly to others. Catching these positive moments and playing them up is so much more affective then focusing on the negitive behaviors.

Get a handle on this now, or it will only get worse. Kids need boundaries and she has been crossing one big one. Kids need to grow up with a respect for their parents and any elders. This is something that is greatly lacking in our society now. You can have great kids that are sweet and love their parents, but have little to no respect for their parents. There need to be consequences for this kind of behavior. I am a mom to 4 girls (11,8,3 year old twins with one boy due in Jan). It is possible to raise your children with respect, that goes both ways and have a great relationship with them. I respect my children greatly, it is not some sort of dictatorship in our home. We have daily talks about our days and I am blessed knowing that my girls come home from school and talk to me about issues that they have had to deal with. I would start by taking things away from your daughter. Whatever she is fond of, take it away and have her earn it back. We as parents need to make sure that our children appreciate what they have, and for them to know that things can and will be taken away. But that they can also earn it back. It is possible that she may be tired,so work on that. But regardless, there is no excuse for her behavior to be consistantly this way. Stay consistant and things will work out. Like I said it is possible to raise our children with great values and morales, and also have great relationships with them.

Read the book " Hold onto your kids"P.

My seven year old daughter has also been incredibly challenging lately. She gets between 11 and 12 hours of sleep each night so I am going to guess Iris might need a little more sleep (all kids are different though). My daughter is so exhausted at the end of the day and I think its just part of being 7. She is in second grade and three days a week has an afterschool activity or playdate and by the time I get home from work, I think she's had enough of behaving well all day. We give her a multivitamin daily and refined sugar is restricted. I think its developmental and she is testing boundaries and new behaviors she has observed at school. So I guess my advice would be: try a multivitamin, earlier bedtime and just hang in there.

Hello Emily, I have an 8 year old boy and every single night he wakes me up at least twice. I end up in his bed just so that he can sleep. But I end up losing sleep! I have been a licensed day care provider for 8 years, I am open on the weekends and extended hours so as you can imagine, sometimes I wake up tired.

She possibly needs a nap, but if that doesn't work check out 1-2-3 magic, it's a great book & discipline system that works very well for my 8-year-old. Good luck!

Could it be the middle child syndrome? Being a middle child is difficult, depending on their dispositions, some children need more attention than others. Is she acting out and seeking for more time and help from you? She is still young and is up to the parents to approach her with kindness and to teach her how to think. What she perceives is what is reality to her whether or not it is right or logical from your perspective... that 's why i think you should try harder to understand her, ask her to tell you what consequences is her attitude bringing to her (lose closeness to everyone?) and see if that's what she wants... I hope this helps!

Hi Emily,

Most of us do not realize why we are not getting enough sleep. Some tend to be to hot and toss and turn as I did when I was growing up or can't shut the brain down because of thinking to much or not tired.

To begin with we all need good nutrition during the day to feed the brain and supplementing is the key to you getting what is missing in our diets. The experts say the soils are depleted so we are not getting the essentials from our foods today.

I started my granddaughter on whole food supplements at 2 days old and putting her on a sleepsystem with magnets to help relax her so she gets a good night sleep and clean living water so she is properly hydrated. Our children today need more then we are giving them and it shows in their behavior and school work.
Putting your child in a healthier environment has been proven by pediatrics and many doctors that did studies to see if there where any improvements by doing so.

If you would like more information check out www.nikken.com/ninamarie or you may email me and I will send you one of the CD's on the info from Dr. Margolis.

Have a blessed day.

N. Marie
____@____.com

Sounds a lot like my son. One thing I did not see mentioned, does she like to do things on her own? My husband did a personality profile (and I did mine also). He is an introvert - he is very charismatic and gets along with people, but he NEEDS his space or he gets irritable, grumpy, etc. A big "aha" for me - my son is the same! He spends the day with 20+ other kids and when he gets home, he needs his space. Sometimes he wants to play with his little sister, but they always end up in some big blowup, if he hasn't gotten some space first. He also needs more sleep, and has had alternating growth spurts and colds that have been waking him up at night, and often ending up in my bed. Little sister is like me - she loves being around people, which makes it hard - she wants to play with big brother, and he needs his space. Plus, he gets weekly homework that he can't really do all on his own...

Hi Emily,

I would start with a trip to her pediatrition and make sure there is nothing physical. Is she having bad dreams? Has there been a change in her diet that might have her up in the middle of the night? Have you moved? You don't say why you are up at 5:30am but she may be reacting to whatever caused the change in the schedule as opposed to the schedule change. Is there any thing going on at school? You may also want to talk with her teachers and see if her behavior has changed there as well. We're not that far into a new school year. Is she doing OK? Is she keeping up with her school work? Has she made new friends? Is anyone picking on her? I would look at every thing thats going on in her life to see what could have brought on the change from sweet to sassy so suddenly.

In the mean time, consistancy is always your best choice. Every time she sasses she should get the same response or lack of, and every time she stomps around.

Good luck,
U.