Do You Think Facebook Can Cause Depression

Birds of a feather flock together. If you dont like drinking and the other things they do, they don't want you in their flock. Time to find some new birdies to hang with. You cant put a square peg in a round hole. You can have acquaintances that you hang with a little bit because you have a little bit in common. Friends are usually the people that like to do the same things you do thus you spend more time with them. Neighbors arent always friends and there's no rule that says you have to be. You can be friendly, chat at the mailbox or do a little small talk now and then. People that drink and smoke are usually uncomfortable around those that don't, it works both ways.

If I'm understanding you correctly, I don't think Facebook is your problem. What I think the problem is, is that you are trying to be friends with people with whom you don't really have any common interests. Just because they are your neighbors on your court doesn't mean you have to be tight friends. Yes, be as neighborly as you can, but that's different from real friendship. Find other face to face friends and do things with them... and this may well include finding other friends for your children. While it would be nice for your son to play with the neighbor kids, perhaps he needs different friends too... even if that means you will need to take him a bit of distance, or ask his friends parents to bring them a distance in order for them to spend time together. And.. remove the neighbors from your FB friend lists if seeing their activities is depressing you. That way, you will have to go out of your way to check up on their activities, and you will be able to ignore what they are doing without asking you to join in. Facebook can't cause depression, but you can get depressed if you look for the wrong things on Facebook. Take control of how you use Facebook and how you try to live your life in your neighborhood, and you should be able to overcome your depressed feelings.

We just moved away from neighbors like that. Always drinking, always partying - only they loved me when I was watching their kids. To me, it's best that I wasn't a part of things b/c when the shi* hit the fan, I wouldn't have to worry about it. Although it hurt my feelings not to be included and such, it also showed me that those people weren't truly my friends so why would I want to surround myself around them? Find yourself some new friends, delete them from your fb friends and start looking the other way! That's what I'm doing. Best of luck to you.

Facebook doesn't cause depression, but how we use it and interact with people on it can. FB is just a tool.

If you're seeing things on FB that are upsetting you, and you're feeling left out, it's not because anyone is intentionally trying to leave you out. It's just that... well... FB often makes people feel like they're closer friends than they really are to people when you're still really just acquaintances. Yes, you have your neighbors on your FB but you're still just neighbors and not really friends with them. You can see their personal activities and how they interact with other neighbors and friends, but it's not really a matter of how you're being excluded. You're just not included because you're not part of that group of real life friends.

Do you have friends outside of your neighbors? Make plans with them. Get involved in your church activities if you belong to a church or synagogue. Join a MOPS group.

But also realize that it's okay to not be included in everything that your other neighbors do together. They're probably just closer friends. I wouldn't take it personally. I have a neighbor-friend that I've mentioned before that takes my friendships with other neighbors very personally. She makes a big show of being friends with me and having conversations outside with me and with others without actually making real connections... but she's jealous when she sees me spending time and actually being FRIENDS with other neighbors that I can count on and can count on me. She was jealous that I house sit and pet sit for several neighbors and no one asks her, FCOL. But she makes no effort besides making a show on the sidewalk and inviting herself over when she sees someone outside talking to someone else.

I'm not saying you're like that at all. You sound much nicer. :-)

Yes, facebook can be an illusion. It always appears that everyone on FB is "living it up". WRONG. Those are justy the few highlights of their lives that they share, while not sharing the other half. My life os very hectic, while at the same time if I posted all of my fun times on FB, I'd look like I had the best life in the world. I had to limit myself as well, due to some of the same things. Now I go on there about once a week!!! Good Luck. If you feel tempted, just chat with me!!!!!!! :)

O, B.! You must be a sensitive girl like me who lets things bother you that shouldn't! I've always realized that facebook is just a silly thing that way too many people use to flaunt friendships and rub gatherings in others face! I LOVE facebook for the fact that 2 of my best friends live hundreds of miles away and I get to see pictures of so many people I would otherwise have no idea what happened to! LOL.

BUT, it can also cause hurt feelings and frustration and you have to decide to either block those people or that they aren't really your friends, so it doesn't matter what they do!

It's hard, I know! There are quite a few people I'd like to block or "un-friend" but feel like it might cause drama because these are people I see on a reg. basis and who's kids are on my husbands football team, but then, like my bff says, who cares?? If they aren't friends and I do not like the way they treat me, why keep em on, right? If only it were that easy...ugh...really, the whole thing is so stupid! What you could also do is just block their statuses so you don't see em...if that might give you peace of mind?

You have to make up your mind that you are NOT going to let this bother you and move on, find new friends and new things to do that involve different people! I know how much it hurts...you have no idea (actually been debating a post on here about friendships.) So, hang in there, be strong and do what is going to make you feel better...and "get over it!" hahaha!

Hi B.,

Sounds like you solved the facebook part of the problem which is great. (i was going to suggest just "hiding" your neighbors posts so that you wouldn't have to see them.) Anyway, I hope you can find a fun, happy way to fill your time. No reason for you to feel obligated to be social with people just because they're your neighbors -- even though it's obviously sad when you can't have friends right next door. I know it takes time to get to know people well enough to figure these things out. Don't beat yourself up too much just because you were taking for granted they were decent folks ;)

Maybe join some sort of hobby "club" where you could at least have an hour or so of interaction with people you have at least one thing in common with :) (Knitting? Swimming? Hiking? Cooking? Book club?) Community centers through the city usually offer lots of inexpensive options.

I hope you can escape the "clique-y" drunks and have a good time with your new mama freedom!

Best to you!

Sometimes I view Facebook as another extension to a crazy place that I have long gotten over-High School! It is a tool to see and reach out to people that you wouldn't be able to normally interact with and on one hand there are people on my Facebook that I know I was not really friends with in High School either so I just say whatever. One of the people in one of the posts is right, these people were not really your close friends anyway so don't let their activity influence you. Unless you really want to be involved chime in and say, I would love to come next time and see what they say. If not, surround yourself with real friends and interact with them.

Why are you so desperate to be included with a bunch of people whose belief system you don't even share? They drink in front of their kids, you don't think that's right, yet you want to be included in their "fun". It's obvious you're not going to be included, nor do you want to be. Delete this person as your FB friend and find a community of like-minded moms to share your social life with.

I see that you have resolved this, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. I have the same issue with my neighbors. I don't know why I feel the way I do when I also don't agree with their partying in front of the kids or even really enjoy myself when I am with them. But I still get my feelings hurt when I am not included. I have hidden most of these people on my FB and have greatly reduced the amount of time I spend on there. I just check it maybe once a week to see what people are up to.