Do You Have Friends with Kids Who Are Younger than Yours ...........:(

I don't understand the problem. Babies, preschoolers only a few years difference I thought you were going to say you had a 15 year old n friends had babies.

Well, none of my close friends even have kids -:)

And out of my M. friends, i am ancient. I'm at least 9 years older in all accounts with an easy 12 in many.

It doesn't t bother M., though, I will admit I am lonely. I don't really have any M. friends I have a lot in common with.

I went through this. My oldest was born when I was 21, I had another at 23, and my last at 26. I am 32 now. At first I sort of felt odd out, but I have made friends with moms who have kids the age of my children. Most of them are 5-10 years older than M.. It will likely even out for you too. Although I still feel like I belong in a different generation and do not really relate to those that are my age.

Your feelings are totally natural. I personally don't feel this way. I have friends that run the age spectrum. Some of my favorite gal pals are grey haired 70 year olds with grandkids in college.

I guess what I am saying is my friends are my friends regardless the marriage situation or kid situation. We are friends with various life situations...but friends first. I don't go looking for friends that have kids my kid's ages. I have other outlets for finding friends rather than in my kids' classrooms and activities.

If no one treats you differently then try to push these thoughts out of your head...you are comparing yourself too much and measuring up your life and family choices against theirs. Make your life your own.

Good luck and best wishes!!

My stepkids are WAY older than most of my friend's kids and DD is kind of in the middle. One of her best buds is a boy 2 yrs older than her. The ages of parents (and number of kids) varies widely in our preschool. DD plays with kids who are a wide range of ages.

You had your DD when you wanted kids and they had theirs when they wanted them. I wouldn't feel "old", or plan your life around someone else's timeframe. My sister is having kid #2 way before any of the rest of the cousins and that's just the way life has worked out.

Um, I have friends with kids who are older, younger, same age. I have friends with no kids. I also have friends who are 10 years older than M. and friends who are 10 years younger.

I just consider myself profoundly blessed and fortunate to have friends!

I have friends whose children babysit mine because they are so much older and I have friends who JUST had their first (my second just turned 1). I also have friends without children. No, I don't feel that way at all.

When we lived in NY, there were three of us (all generally the same age, but M. being the youngest by 5 years or so) who got together monthly with our kids. The oldest was 14 and the youngest was my daughter (infant). The kids all played together with the oldest being "in charge", which he loved. He also earned some service hours taking care of my son while we prepped for the baby.

Have your friendships based on who YOU like, not who will be able to provide a companion for your child as well.

I'm in that boat, but my kids are about 3 yrs older than all of my friends. We're in our mid-late 30s now, and most of our friends are JUST starting to have babies.

So personally...because I'm done...I love it. I watch them all struggle with no sleep, and toting kid stuff all over the place. Whereas I don't need to drag out diaper bags, formula/feeding stuff, strollers, etc... My kids are so much easier now, and I love that I'm through that baby phase.

Embrace the friends you have in each group. There's a time for both.
And embrace that you're still young! LOL.

Our oldest is 8 then 5 then 1. We hang with a couple whose kids are 23, 21, 18 & 16. It actually works for us. I'm glad our kids aren't the same age. There is no competition with whose kids are better at something. We also hang with people who have kids our kids age & it works too.

Honestly having kids at a younger age has made M. feel BETTER, not worse. I started at 25, which is young around here. Some of my son's friends parents are turning 60!!! That's almost the same age as my mom, who's about to turn 65 (I am 44.) So I have to say, it feels kind of good to be the still relatively good looking and vivacious parent of a college and high school student :-)
I DO remember wishing my BFF started having kids when I did so we could experience that together, but it's all worked out for the best. Her kids look up to and ADORE my kids, and they even babysit from time to time. Also I have made friends over the years with moms of all ages. It turns out most of my closer relationships are now with older women. Not only do they have more wisdom, but they tend to have more time and money to go do things which is something the young moms with little ones do not!

My advice on how to get over this is to nurture friendships that make you forget about age. I have friends 20+ years younger than M. with kids my kids' age. I also have friends 20+ years older than M., but so far, I don't know any 60+ Moms of young kids. :)

Hey, I completely understand your question! It's not crazy to feel that way. My close childhood friends had kids in their early twenties, and I had my first at almost 30. But around here, most women have kids in their mid to late thirties, and many to right back to work, whereas I decided to stay home from teaching for now. So it really can be hard to find a mom group to connect with. I take my son to various classes so we can socialize, but often the other kids are with a nanny. My suggestion is to try some more activities and find the group of moms you most connect with, and it's easier said than done.

Well, I have a slightly different situation: I was 36 when I had my son. Most of my friends are my age (and have no kids) or older and their kids are adults. When I joined a moms group, the women I met were awesome, and all but one of them were at least 7 years younger.

I don't sweat it. I'm fortunate enough to live in a mostly-professional neighborhood, which means most moms I meet at my son's school had their kids later. I am not the 'old mom' by any means.

You are right-- it is what it is. Nothing in life lines up according to some proscribed plan or with perfect symetry. Acceptance is a lovely thing. Because I felt more seasoned as a mom (worked with kids previously for a long time), I enjoyed the newness of the revelations of the newer, younger moms, and did feel older both because of my age and experience-- but I don't think that this is a bad thing. I mean, who *doesn't* want to be wiser than they once were? Some of it is pretty amusing/entertaining to see how they interpret 'parenthood' in their own ways and what was important to them. And because I have so many friends who were done parenting, I appreciated their advice, however wise or quirky or off-the-wall or humorous.

My advice to you: accept the situation and enjoy what your friends have to offer, no matter what stages of life they (and you) are in. Don't make it about being on the exact same track as those around you. ("When I had my kid it was the right time for us, but then all of our friends decided to wait(or maybe they had no choice but wait) until they were in their 30's.") Everyone has different life purposes, different goals and aspirations. You have something to offer the mothers of younger kids--reassurance. It is a valuable gift to give to a worried parent. It's great that you knew when *you* were ready to be a mom, and remember that it's great that they knew when it was the right time for them, too. And in three or four years, this will very likely not matter to you. Truly. :)

(oh, and I am a great-aunt as well; my son is 6. I was the very last in my family to have a baby.. my sisters got a 17 year head start, 9 years, and 6 years on M.! Now *that* is a stretch!)

A lot of my friends waited to have kids or did not marry until later. I have one good friend that is 2 years older than M. and her son is the same age as mine. Our kids went to school together. I find that other moms too with kids my son's age or daughter's age are older than M. too. I got married at 20 and had my son at 24 and my daughter at 27. I've just learned not to let things bother M.. Make friends with the older/younger moms. Give some advice to your friends that have younger kids.

I started a book club and get out once a month with friends. We leave kids and spouses at home. The ladies in our group have kids ranging from babies to 3rd graders. We all bring different experiences to our group.

I'm raising a granddaughter so none of my friends have kids her age. All my friends have adult children. The moms of her friends are, of course, young enough to be my children. Doesn't bother M. a bit.

Okay think of it from someone like myself's point of view. I was married before everyone one of my friends thought I'd have babies at the ideal 26, 28 and 30 and have a adults on their own by 55...nope took us past all of friends having kids to.get pregnant and now ours are the youngest of our friend pack. Theirs can stay home for a night out with adults so i feel they dont invite us as much. I was assures last week that we were still a part of the pack and no one who matters cares about our age or our kids and loves the people we are and the family we've become. We have had 3 fertility kids. So i learned from their comment to be more grateful dor my xurrent family that i would not have had at a different time and to to sweat ages.

We have two kids - 5.5 and 3.5 and a third on the way. My two closest girlfriends have kids who are in junior high and high school (they are my age) and our closest guy friend's (of hubby's) have kids roughly our age and then slightly younger (6, 2.5) and a 6 month old. The majority of my sister in laws (younger than hubby) have NO kids yet...so I feel like when they do, mine will be a lot older!! I think it's okay to feel older (ie: wiser?) when your kids are older. You have been through more, you understand the meaning of "this to shall pass" and you may finally be enjoying sleepless nights...that is until you have another! LOL

I personally wouldn't plan on having my 2nd child so it is the same age as 'other' peoples kids...I would (and did) plan on having my 2nd child in relation to the age of his/her older sibling. The 'others' you speak of will come and go, your children will be siblings their entire life, ya know?

Now as far as your question goes, I haven't had any issues with friends having kids later than M....yes, I have friends my age who have kids younger than mine but I do not care.

I am 35y/o and have a 42y/o husband and he has a 21y/o and a 18y/o and together we have a 9 y/o, a 7y/o and a 5y/o and it is perfect for us!
I waited a bit longer than every other female in my family to have children, by a long while...but I just wasn't ready when I was 18-20y/o like the others in my family. I don't feel old at all and quite frankly I just barely stopped feeling 17y/o!

I do however have a problem with getting older but it has nothing to do with how old my kids are. I just (as my name says) can't really believe I am in my 30's already...and I am almost out of them! Ha!

I say it's normal to feel the way you do, aging is an odd thing to get a grip on and we all feel and act differently towards the concept...but it is what it is and there is nothing we can do about it, other than try to embrace it!

~One thing to keep in mind: You will still be young and energetic when your kids are old enough to stay home alone so you can go out and do stuff and almost out of HS and your friends with younger children won't be at that stage and it's gonna rock for you!

I had my first at 22 and he (and my step-daugther) are now 15. Most of their friends' parents, who are now my good friends, are around 50. I am 37. Even with my younger kids (9 & 7) I find that I am younger than most of their friends' parents too because while I was done having kids before I was 30, many of them didn't start until 30 or later.

It's never been a big deal for M. at all. I'm going to my 20 year HS reunion this weekend and thanks to FB I know that I have the oldest child of all of my classmates and some of them have babies. I can't imagine going through diapers and breastfeeding again!

Anyway...when it comes to moms my age I feel like the wise old woman compared to them LOL. Friends, cousins and my sisters vent to M. or ask for advice and I get to assure them that yes, they will eventually sleep through the night and yes, they will eventually potty train. I can empathize and share some hopeful stories about how my very laid back oldest son was a nightmare of a baby/toddler and that this, too shall pass. It's a role that I really enjoy.

And I really enjoy my older friends, who I consider more my peer group than the friends my age because we are going through the whole teen thing together. It's very encouraging to M. to know that there's not that big a difference between 35 and 50 if you're active, have good friends, and take care of yourself. It's interesting to see their take on things like menupause and to know that many of them have even older teens and adults and they survived these years and I will too.

Anyway...try to not feel negatively about this. It really is a wonderful oppportunity to expand your circle of friends and get differing perspectives on life. I really wouldn't want it any other way.

In general, you have the most in common with people who have kids your kids age. But a few yrs is not that big a difference.

I have friends at church who have kids around my kids ages and we get the Same age humor and problems. But one girl is 15 yrs younger than M..
She is noticeably bothered by a mom her age that has kids 10 and 12 yrs younger than hers. It makes her feel old and like she doesn't have a young vib. I can't argue with that. Kids age you! But she has good friendships with others. She doesn't dwell on it but she feels it.

When you decide to have your second, you may find more in common with them. I have 2 kids 4 yrs apart and have mom friends that range in age from 7yrs older to 10 yrs younger. Some were on their last "bonus" child that went to school with my oldest and some were on their first child from a teenage pregnancy that went to school with my youngest. I have things in common with both but not everything with all of them. Rejoice in the friends you do have!

I just have mom friends of all different ages now. All my best friends had kids a few years after I did. Honestly, once your kids are all in grade school it does not really matter anymore...they all kind of equal out a bit. I think you should believe yourself...age does not matter. If you have a second child then you will have a baby while they have preschoolers. It's all good.

Not really, but here's a view from the other side of the fence. I was almost 40 when I had twins. (got the two for one deal :) ) All of my friends either have no kids (personal choice) or have kids that are 12-18. I even have a few friends with grand kids!
I have one friend with a child my daughters age. I hate it. I am trying to meet other moms with kids the same age, but we rarely have anything else in common. We have nothing to discuss. I end up thinking that the things they are doing/saying are juvenile or come from lack of life experience and they act immature. My friends that have grown or nearly grown kids are used to being able to leave the house without dragging small children with them everywhere. It makes it hard to enjoy adult company as I am alway handling/ answering/ redirecting/etc. my kids and cant relax. I am in an area that is VERY rural and all of the people I know have family who can keep their kids when they need a break. I live 4 hours from my closest family and don't want to move.
I am trying to think up creative ways to meet other moms that I have something in common with and with kids close to the age of mine.

all my friends kids range in age from 5-18. Yes, 3 of friends have kids younger than mine.

It doesn't bother M.. I hang with my friends all the time. we have girls nights and kids come because its not always easy to find sitters and the kids played together but sometimes they didn't. Everyone would bring toys and stuff. You should be happy with your life regardless of what age the kids are.

Don't sweat it - make other mom friends with same age kids and keep your other friends too.

I have a funny situation where I have alot of mom friends, all with 2 kids. Our kids are all between the ages of 4 and 7. I am the only one who had a third, and my son is 2. We play with kids who are friends of my girls all the time, but never have little ones his age.

Oh well, he's starting nursery school in the fall, I'm sure we'll make friends his age.

I'm 35. One of my good friends is turning 50, she had kids very late due to fertility issues. Another friend is 40, and a few 30 - 32. None of this is an issue, we have plenty in common! kids, school suburbia, etc etc. LOL!

Don't worry at all!