Turning 40 in 20 Days.....

Well, I'll be 45 in a couple months, if it makes you feel better.

I didn't like 40 either like a lot of women say they did. 30 was fun since now you really ARE a grown up and you still look like you're 18!

But like Julie B, it was the year I finally had enough. I left my drunken abusive husband. Changed my whole life.

I've developed an attitude, and I now think it would be nice for someone to take care of ME as nicely as I've been taking care of the whole freaking world for decades! Still working on that one.

Still, it's nice to know a thing or two, especially to relax about motherhood somewhat.

I think it's the age of empowerment, which can't possibly be a bad thing, right?

A very Happy Birthday to you!

:)

Sorry, I can't give you any advice on 40 since I haven't gotten there yet (getting CLOSE though!)

I just had to say that Julie B. made me laugh out loud!! I'm kinda looking forward to 40 now that I know I get a whole decade devoted to people not ____@____.com with me!!!! Bahahahaha!!!!

Happy birthday!!! 40 is a new 30! I am planning to celebrating my 40th in a very big and fabulous way!!!

I've started my family later in life and I'm glad I did. I lived my younger years to the fullest, got my degree, established my career, traveled the world and loved it!!! I am giving my children much better life and so much more in my 30s rather if I have done it in my 20s.

I was just talking to an old friend of mine about this on Monday. I'm 41 and she's turning 42.

We think the 40s are pretty good. We're a whole lot more confident about ourselves and don't sweat the small stuff the way we did when we were climbing the corporate ladder in our 20s and 30s. We also have a thicker skin and don't care as much about offending others or having people not like us. There's a real peace in that. A lot more life experience to base decisions on.

I do have to say the downside is health issues. We've both suddenly developed vision problems we didn't have before, which apparently everyone does in their 40s. And it's more critical to keep up exercise and eat right. Can't cheat the way we could in our 20s and 30s. But maybe that's not such a bad thing.

I say embrace the 40s! It's a good club to be in. :)

I waited to have my baby until I was older & am glad as I got to do a lot of
things.
All of my friends had their kids a long time ago.
Do we still keep in touch? Yes but it's more difficult.
That's okay though because good friends are hard to come by & should
be cherished. Just get together w/them when you can. Talk on the
phone when you can.
Turning 40 wasn't bad. It was each afterwards because I cannot for the
life of me remember how much older than 40 I am. Luckily I have 2
good friends the same age so they keep track for me. Ha ha
I try to make each milestone special. For my 30th I went skydiving (never
again...phew), for my 40th I planted a tree (much safer) etc. So do
something fun for yourself to mark the special day.
Don't let it get to you. It's only a number. It's how you feel "inside" & I
still feel 21 (but my body doesn't). ha ha
Do something fun for yourself on the actual day.
I like what Julie B said. I do what I want, when I want now that I'm older.
Have fun, enjoy, treat yourself, quit the inner dialogue that is beating
yourself up, give yourself kudos, count your blessings: your kids, life,
family & health.
Have a great day sweetie & not another negative thought. Pull yourself
up from your britches & on your special day go buy yourself some
flowers from the grocery store, get a mocha, a pedicure etc. Okay?
IT WILL BE OKAY! :)

I turned 40 last Christmas Eve. I have two high schoolers, a 10 year old, 8 year old and a 17 month old. =) I feel younger than I did at 30...LOL Happy Birthday to you!!! =D and congratulations on making it this far. LOL

Well, my birthday was on Sept 12th. I turned 30 the day after 911. Again, I was reminded of it the day before my 40th with the 10 year anniversary. It really put a lot of things into perspective for me.... Life is extremely short and can end at a moments notice.

I don't take a moment for granted.
I love being me.
I don't do drama and I cut out those that do.
I enjoy life.
I am a blunt because I don't have time to candy coat.
I'm a VERY happy, loving person.

God decided to give me a gift this year and we are currently 16 weeks pregnant. We thought my daughter was going to be an only child and God had other plans... So... Life is GREAT!

I turned 40 last week and I've been in quite a life altering tail spin. Its pretty horrible. I am suddenly doubtful and questioning everything in my life...over evaluating, spazzing out and driving my family crazy.
All I can say is that I can relate.
I hope you don't start feeling the way I have been lately

Ha! One of my 40th birthday presents was my first baby! Whew!

Most of my friends had their kids in their late 30s or early 40s, so that has been helpful - we're all in the same boat!

I like 40 so far - I'm 45 now. I don't take as much bulls**t as I once did. I also stopped putting in 60-80 hour workweeks. I guess I finally realized there is more to life than work, work, work. Of course, I make less $$, but I also realized $$ isn't everything. I'm learning better how to live within my means.

The only real drawback I've noticed so far is that it's harder to lose weight - having a baby certainly hasn't helped with that either. I'm working really hard right now trying to lose the extra weight before I hit menopause - I've heard that once THAT happens, it's even HARDER to lose the extra pounds.

Happy upcoming birthday. Don't worry, 40 is just fine.

I remember turning 21, 30 and 40. I am loving my 40's, hated my 20's and my 30's is mostly a blurr.

What I love most about being 40 something is that I am fabulous. If my son wasn't 17, most may think i was in my 20's just by looking at me. When I speak people can hear the level of maturity in my choice of words and the things I speak of. It is incredible.

I know of too many of my contemporaries that are dead right now. Some didn't even make it out of their 20's or 30's. I am grateful to be alive and well. I'm looking forward to being a fabulous 50 something and beyond too. I have so much more to offer my family and the world as I age gracefully.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 40 is the new 20, enjoy!! (I'm looking forward to it... the kids will be out of the house by then, YAY!!)

My husband and his best friend turn 40 within a month of each other... us wives are renting a roller rink and having the party of the century, old school style ;)

Embrace it!! Have fun :)

My biggest problem with turning older is the rampant heart issues that run in my family! I'm 41--my mother had a heart attack at 50.
Anyway!
My 40th birthday was my absolute BEST!
We may not be as young as we were, but at this stage in life, we've gained wisdom and insight along the way, which far outweighs perfect skin and no cellulite!
I'm not sure why the 40th birthday became such a great deal to so many, turning into an expected meltdown for everyone celebrating that birthday! Make the most of it-enjoy-and be blessed to be 40! =)

I turned 40 last Nov. I'm now working on 41 this year. It really wasn't that life changing for me. To me it's just another number, something of which I've never been hung up on. I did do one special thing. On my 30th birthday my husband and I went to Disneyland while I was 6 months pregnant with my first child. On my 40th birthday (plus a couple days because it was raining really bad) we went back. On my 30th birthday we took a picture of me standing in front of the Tomorrowland sign proudly showing off my pregnant belly. We went to that same Tomorrowland sign and I stood there proudly showing off my 3 kids. They were 9, 6 & 1 at the time.
I still have fun and the energy to run around with my kids. I care less about what other people think now then I did when I was younger and don't let it stress me out. I stay true to myself and if someone doesn't like it Oh Well. This is me, I'm not changing to make someone else happy while making myself miserable. I put up with a lot less BS from people I will admit as well. I don't have time for people that drag me down and their drama. When I was younger I suffered through a lot of that. I like where my family is at and where we're heading.
I have friends my age that started families earlier and I have some that have kids near mine in age. Some dynamics have changed but this would happen anyway. Not all friendships stay the same as they were in high school, just a fact of life.
Turning 40 is nothing to stress about. It's an artificial construct and obstacle to going on with your life. I'm sure you've got at least another good 40, 50 or 60 years left to keep enjoying life.
Happy Birthday! Enjoy it!

Okay 40 isnt as bad as you think- also just so you know there is no great "epiphany" when you become 40. It is not the end or the beginning - it is just another year. Although being called Ma'am is still and issue if you pluck the grey hairs six come to its funeral. You think you should know all kinds of stuff and be wiser but honestly ya not so much. Your just 40 after the day passes just walk it off.

I have a year to go before I turn 40 (well, a little more since my birthday is November 1st). However, it has started to make me cringe a little. Turning 30 was hard. I really felt that my youth was gone. But, I ended up loving my thirties and for a while looked forward to 40 because if I got better with 30, I thought I would be amazing in my 40's.

But as 40 approaches, I have this slowly sinking feeling. I guess because it is big marker--middle age. Uggg. I'm sorry. I am probably making this worse for you. I guess what I am trying very inadequately to say is that I understand what you are going through. The last ten years have gone by so quickly that I am still reeling a little. My kids are older than yours, 13 and soon to be 16, and it seems like they were just beginning kindergarten and then, bam, they are in Junior high and High school. My daughter is already getting ready to begin the early admission process for college! I almost wish that I were in your position; having two young ones wouldn't make me feel quite so old.

Oh God, I better shut up. I am probably making you feel bad and depressing myself in the process.

Anyway, Happy early Birthday!!! Thank God we have made it this far. Here is to another 40 years!

I turned 40 two weeks ago and was super duper stressed out about it. You can find my post on skin-care products:) I did buy some of the things recommended!

I am the mother of a 5 year old and a 13 month old. I also didn't expect to have kids so late in life, but my husband is only 35 and we only met 6.5 years ago. I was very distressed at kindergarten orientation as I realized that some of the teachers were in their mid 20s. YIKES. I will be 45 when baby starts school - more YIKES!

You know, your choices are death or turn 40. My birthday was on a weekday so we had school and I had work. My grandmother (88) took me out to lunch and it was awesome. I am very blessed to have such an active and loving grandma at my age:) My husband left work early to get Japanese take out so that both kids would also eat it:) When I got home, he was there with dinner ready and had a present scavenger hunt in place. The presents were all very little things that he had purchased with my children (think travel size bath and body works items) with clues leading to the next present. The final one - a major challenge because the baby had moved it without our knowledge:) It was the best though - a four day cruise and my parents will take our children.

My brother and sister bought us tickets to Night Ranger, Foreigner and Journey in concert. Amazing show and for a few hours I felt 18 again!

Look for some new friends with children closer to your own - maybe in a playgroup? Keep up with super "old" friends anyway - you will be at the child-stage they are at before you know it.

Happy Birthday! C. 40 years old and 17 days....

LOL...I just turned 30 and I was a little distraught about it. Mostly because I had this vision of moms with kids in gradeschool still trying to be hip and cool. But I've come to terms...that is now me. :)

One of my very good friends turns 42 this year, we met when our daughters started preschool together. Its amazing to me that, yet our age difference, we have a lot in common. (She talks all the time about how her friends are on a different path then her.) Its nice. :)

I don't know what I'll be like when 40 comes along, maybe more accepting of it. Gosh my oldest will be 16...yikes! :)

Hi,

Just remember, 40 is just a number. Its all in your head and how you look at it. If you feel young at heart, you will be! I hope you have a blessed birthday.

M

I hear you ! I turn 40 this November and I feel alot of the same as you. Not old, not young - just not sure. Turning 30 didn't bother me but for some reason 40 does. I keep telling my hubby (who turned 40 in August) that I want a big big party ! Maybe he will get the hint LOL

I'm 47. I have two little boys ages 7 and 4. I stay at home and homeschool them both. Looking back I've never been more sane in my life. I feel like I've excepted the fact that life moves forward and is messy. Also learned a HUGE lesson that all things pass, the good and the bad at times. Embrace life. Slow down and allow yourself to be in it. It's rather nice in here. lol Take care of yourself. Eat smart, get some exercise and plan some time to have fun for just YOU every month at the least. Recognize the things you cannot change and let them go and work on the things you can. 40's a number. I know women that are in their twenties and look and act like they are old and crusty. Get fresh and redefine who you are and what you believe. Happy 40'S to you!
C.

40 was wonderful! I spent most of 40 being pregnant with my daughter, my first and only baby! She was born 4 days before my 41st birthday. I felt better than ever - healthy, fit, strong, and feminine. And you know what? 50 is even better!! My girl is 9, I have a group of friends who are just a little younger than me with kids the same age. I just earned my black belt in karate in Aug and I am finishing my PhD by 51. Life just gets better and better.

The advantage of age, IMO, is our ability to see what is important in life and lose the obsession with the small stuff. My 40s were a time of great personal growth for me. And having just lost my father in Aug, I appreciate each day, and the gifts I have, more and more.

I love my 40s. Really. I'm way more comfortable in my skin. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. It's a great phase in life. Every once in a while I think about how I wasted some of my younger days, how I didn't appreciate my youth. But, I much prefer the wiser years. I have had 3 children in my 20s, 3 children in my 30s, and am pregnant at 44. Someone asked me what I thought the 40s might bring with children. I'm thinking that unless this is a multiple pregnancy, that the Lord will probably only give me one in my 40s. The kids are praying for multiples though. LOL Enjoy your birthday.

My cousin did 40 things in the time leading up to her 40th. It was sort of like a bucket list. Some were big, like she went to Vegas. Some were small like trying a food that she has never tried and wanted to. I think that sounds like a lot of fun. It was hard for her to come up with 40, so she asked her facebook friends for ideas, which was even more fun. Happy Birthday!

I just turned 41. I think all the build up to the 40th b'day is much worse than actually turning 40. For me it was a relief. Then I could stop hearing about it constantly. What do I think about being 40-something? I'm alive, healthy, happy, have a wonderful husband, and two little boys(7 and 4, by the way) who are the most important things is the world. I'd say I'm good and you will be, too. Unlike you, I have friends who are around my age who have children the same ages as mine. Of course, I have friends with children who are much older, but they are the ones I'm going to to ask all the questions about the teen years. Try making friends with some of the moms your kids go to school with or meeting a mom at the park that your youngest likes to play with. It's great to have a mom friend or two that have kids the same age as you. And have a happy birthday!!

Oh girl...l am turning forty in exactly 3 months and 7 days! I say give yourself a "bitchen", like "totally tubular" party "dude"! Sorry, just pulling out some of our 80's lingo, wink wink! Seriously, have a big bash or a small one depending on your taste. I think I will celebrate even though like you I am a little bothered. I have 6 kids, the oldest is only 9. In a way, I feel young bc of that, but then I think of my age when the baby graduates highschool and, yikes! But whenever I lament bc of my "old age" I just try and think of all the things I would have to give up if I could go back and be younger again. And you know what - there is NOTHING I could give up, not my hubby, my kids and especially some of the wisdom I have gained. (however, if I could take all that back with me... that's a different story, hehe) Anyway, good luck and post back after your birthday and tell all of us youngin's what you ended up doing!!! Hugs!

I know what you mean. I'll be 39 soon and the big 40 is looming just around the corner. I don't feel that age - I feel at least 10 years younger. But the number seems to be bothering me. How did this happen so quickly? My daughter is 5 and now that she's in school I've gone back to school this semester. I thought I would be miserable being around all the young kids and the only 'old' person. But it's actually the opposite. The kids are really nice and there are quite a few people my age and older going back to school like me. I think part of my dread of the big four-oh is that I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to by that age. Some of it has been choices I've made, some life circumstances. I should have finished my degree 20 years ago. Poor choice. We waited 7 years for our precious girl. Life. I'm hoping finishing school will help with the 'not ready' feeling. I have a pretty broad age and life-stage range in my friendships so there is always someone I can relate to, which is nice. Now if I can just get all of this weight off...

I agree with Momceo totally! 40 is the new 30! It is only a number and pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things. I really freaked about my 30th, but 40 came and went, easy peasy! Just remember lots of people never got to see 40, so each day is a gift of life. I also had my only child at 38, so these last few years have been all about her. I am glad I had her late also because I had lots of good times in my 20's and 30's, while everyone else was poppin em out right and left. I have found that there are many women in their 40's having them late as well. I got to establish my career, I got to travel all over the world. Not many of my friends can say they have even been out of the country. And I got all that party stuff out of my system, so I am totally devoted to my baby girl. Make 40, FABULOUS!

When I was 39 my life with my husband was nearing its end. Debating about divorcing made me realize how SHORT life really is and I KNEW I did not want to waste on second longer being unhappy with a man who was disrespectful to me and our kids. So I divorced him. I also decided at 39 that I wasn't going to be around people that made me unhappy nor was I going to do anything that made me unhappy or that I didn't want to do. And I didn't! IT HAS BEEN THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE! I'm now happily married to a wonderful man that is great to me and our kids. I'm going to be 45 in March and it is making me feel a little "old". 25, 35 and 45 have been harder for me than 30 and 40 for some reason. And I understand about being older with younger kids and not having as many friends or as much in common...the same thing happened to me. All my friends from HS got married right away and had kids, I got married at 30 and had kids mid-30's. But as you said, that's a different issue. =) Anyway, I appreciate the smaller things in life so much more...family, friends, time together, etc. I hope you can see those things too. =)

40 came and went so fast for me it wasn't that big of a deal. You know it's only a number and your only as old as you feel. Let your kids keep you young!

Turning 40 was definitely a surreal experience because in my mind, I feel the same as I did in my 20s! Time certainly has flown! I'm a married professional career woman and a mother of a 9 year-old, and 5 year-old. Instead of lamenting the BIG one, I decided to embrace it. My twin sister and I threw a big birthday bash and invited friends (old and new) and family. A friend put together a slide show of us from childhood to present for a fantastic stroll down memory lane. We had a DJ play all our favorites from the 80s and 90s, and we partied like it was 1999!!!! We made a point to look and feel our best stepping into the next phase by eating healthy, exercising (some), updating our hair and wardrobes to reflect the fabulosity that 40 can bring. We took the focus off of kids, family, work, etc and made it all about us one more time! We could look back at how far we'd come and get excited that we were still young, vibrant and fun women, with lots to offer the world. We now refer to that party as "The Best Party Ever" and have fond memories of our milestone birthday! Rock Your 40 and Love Being You!!!!!!
NH

I have been described by many people as the happiest person they have ever met, and it's probably true, but something happened as I neared 40. I began to panic. I have never worried about my age. I am comfortable in my own skin; I'm happily married; I'm healthy; I have wonderful, happy, easy children.

As I neared 40 though, I realized my own mortality. I don't know why it happened then. My father died 5 years earlier, and my grandmother died 3 years previously, but something about turning 40 made me face my own mortality, and it terrified me. I became depressed. No one knew what to do with me. The only experience I had with this was PPD after having my second child, but this time it didn't make sense. I am a well-educated person with a "perfect" life. It took several months (maybe 4 or so) to begin to feel like myself again. I did not like 40 at all.

I'm sorry this is such a disappointing post, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone. It did get better, though. Once I started feeling like myself again, life returned to normal. I was having major PMS issues during that dark time as well, which I'm sure had a lot to do with how I was feeling. Now everything is rosey again. I turned 41 in July, and so far 41 has been fantastic! :)

Hang in there, and try to have a happy birthday! :)

Happy Birthday!!! I just turned 40 and I have kids similar ages to yours - 7 and 2. I have mom friends my age and also younger...it's a mixed group. I started going to all the baby/toddler activities around town and I met ALL these mom's with young ones and MANY are the same age as me. Anyway - maybe it just depends on where you live. I think 40 is going to be a GREAT year for me. It has started off very well and I just have good feelings about it. I am making this a year to really try new things and make time for doing things I love to do. So far I love it. Anyway, happy birthday!!!! I hope it's a good one for you.

I felt exactly the same way when I turned 40 (I had a 7 and 2 year old). I wasn't depressed, but I was kind of "blah". So, in the beginning of this year (the year I turned 41), I got serious about watching my weight (I lost 20 lbs in the first part of the year) and I got serious about doing more fun things with my kids. By the time I turned 41, I felt a LOT better and happier. I think that 40 was just a big dark cloud (had not accomplished as much as I thought I would have by 40, don't have all the spare money I want to have, etc.). But, I have two great/happy/healthy kids and so I do count my blessings. Ironically, I have a group of friends from college and one of them obviously felt the same way I did when she turned 40 (also last year). And, so she invited us all to Hawaii this year as sort of a late 40 celebration. So, we are all going in a couple of weeks and I think we will have a great time!

I know I feel better now that I have "taken charge". I still could lose another 10 lbs or so. But, more than the weight, I still need to exercise more and just be healthier and have more energy. I am spending more time outside with the kids and we are all benefitting from that!

-L.

We get 40yrs notice before this one Birthday ;-)
40yrs to experiment, plan or wing it and hopefully be in a better place than we were in our inexperienced 20's.
My 40th was a bit like childbirth. I tried not to think about it but it was this event that I couldn't hide from. A time of mixed emotions; anxiety, the weight of other people's expectations, nostalgia, a few regrets. But like child birth a few weeks or months later the event is just a memory and your too busy living life day to day to dwell on it.
I tried to use turning 40 to think only of the positive things things, people and experiences I have and how I can bring more of that into the next 40yrs of my life. I agree you can no longer get away with eating bad food or not exercising so at 40 that is a big priority - to be a healthy parent and role model.
Like so many other ladies I really do care less about what other people think and I know a lot more about myself - strengths and weaknesses to improve my relationships with others and myself.
It just seems to me that we are all too critical of ourselves and turning 40 should be a time for us to relax and allow people who love you and care about you to make you feel great about yourself for one special day. I hope your day is wonderful - how ever you choose to spend it.

Happy Happy Birthday! I had the best time for my 40th birthday - I had in passing mentioned to my husband that it would hurt less to turn 40 if I did it in Disney World and he actually booked a trip, so that's where I spent mine. I didn't actually mind turning 40 so much - when I was 35, and my kids were 7 and 3, I had breast cancer. After going through the mastectomy, the chemo, questioning my future, birthdays are a GOOD thing, one more year I've gotten to spend with my kids and see their growth and accomplishments. 40 was also milestone for my sisters and for me, because it meant that we got to live to be older than our father when he died.
40 seems so different than when I was a kid and my mom, aunts and their friends were in their 40's. Back then, it seemed like being in your 40's meant being conservative in clothes, hairstyles, music, etc. Certainly none of them worse midnight blue polish on their toes and blasted Kings of the Stone age on their car stereos LOL.
As for being in a different place in life than your friends, it's time to make some new friends. Keep the old ones too, of course, but friend up moms of your 8 year old's friends - have them over for a wine and cheese night, or get together for coffee with moms of the 2 year old's preschool or playgroup friends, make friends with women in the same stage of life as you.
Enjoy your fabulous 40's!