Disagreement over MySpace Photos.

Im not quite sure what to tell you on that one but did want to say you really have every right to not want your daughters pics on the internet. I have my neice and nephews pics on my myspace but if either of my brothers or sister inlaws came to me and said they didnt want them up there....without any upsetness i would quickely remove them. As you said your child. Things are bad these days....

actually just a thought. you could ask her to atleast only have them availible only to her friends..you can block pics from just anybody seeing them. She can put them in a certain album and block that album from everyone but her friends. hope that helps

My half-cents worth is that you are quite correct in your stance.

I, myself, do not post any pictures that have any members of my family anywhere that I have no control (even though I do have a blog, and, say for example, I talk about a trip - I'd post something that shows where we have been, but pictures that don't show us).

Hi J.! I totally understand where you are coming from! There are a lot of SICKOS in this world today and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse! I have a 2 1/2 year old and a two week old and I too have a myspace page. I have tons of pics on my page of my children and some of my friend's children. My page is PRIVATE too, but I still ask permission from my friend's before posting pics of their children and I expect them to do the same. My husband has a myspace page also and didn't have his set to private and has pics of the kids on his page too and when I found out it wasn't on private I got sooooo mad at him! He has since then fixed it. You can never be too cautious these days. Your sister should respect your feelings and take the pics off. Hopefully she will realize how you feel and stop being immature! Good luck!
J.

I don't think you are wrong because it is your daughter. I do have a private myspace with my daughter and nephew's pics on there. From my point of view its sharing my life with long time friends and family who live far away. I know it is not like that for everyone. Have a heart to heart with her. I am sure she is just proud of her family and it is nothing harmful or anything. At the same time she should respect your feelings and you two should be able to come to some common ground of understanding.

No speach here. Your sister is being ridiculous. She needs to take the pictures off, end of story. If she wants to be mad, that's her choice. You are not giving her permission to continue using the photos, the end.

I can't believe that! What a mountain out of a mole hill. I hope she comes around.

I'm not sure where you should go with it. I post my kids pics up as private on myspace (all my friends are moms. My kids have always been ad models so to me a picture is a picture as long as it's not bad pictures. My personal attitude is that a picture isn't telling them where I live so that they can track down my kids. However this is your kid and your choice and your sister should respect that although I'm sure she's proud of her niece and wants to show her off like most aunties.

Talk to her.. ask her why she can't respect your decision.

Hey... I know how you feel... I have a similar issue with hard copy photos of my son. My husband family thinks its okay to just take pictures of him and put them anywhere and give them to people... I had to address the issue with his niece and then a individual that she was giving it to overheard and got upset but I thought it was for the best in the long run. The individual overheard the wrong part of the conversation and told someone else and in the long run made me turn out to be a mean person... Neways I think she should respect your wish.. I have myspace also and for the most part if she has good people as friends and her page is private that’s better then it being public and not know who is viewing the page... Hope it all works out in the end... Keep your head up!!!!

It's difficult for me to give you advice because I don't know your family and how everyone interacts... but in my family, people tend to talk behind eachother's backs and so whoever tells the story first often gets everyone on their side because it's the first view point that everyone hears-- so it's posible that in her version, she told others that you rudely asked or that you were being paranoid and think MySpace is evil, which could be why other family members are enraged with you. Regardless, in my family, my husband is happy to take the fall for things like that because he already doesn't have a fabulous relationship with some of my family! So if it were me, I would blame it entirely on him and say it's really HIS wishes and that way my sister would remove the photos to avoid my husband and I getting in a fight.

You tried asking politely: now tell her you'll file a law suit, child endangerment if your daughter's pictures are not off in24 hrs or are ever put on it again. What is more important your sister's feeelings or the safety / like of your daughter?
Find all the reports of things that have happened to children o web sites. Go talk to the police for more reports and.Maaaaybe some gory pictures yor sister will see the lite.
Or charge her pofessional fees for the pictue. And send her a bill for over $500.00 per picture. Get mean save the child.

I agree with you and every one else.:) LOL. Just print out this list of responses and let her know that ALL these other moms agree with you. That even if nothing were to ever happen due to the pictures being posted, that you still have a right to decide where those pictures go.

Hi J.! I have a 9 month old and have had the same issue with my sister.

My husband is an attorney and told both my sister and I upfront that he did not want the baby's picture to be on MySpace. I agreed. My sister initially agreed but ended up putting up family photos that included the baby. I asked her to take them down. She was not happy, but she did comply.

It is YOUR place to make this decision, for whatever reason. Your sister does not have the right to override you just because she thinks she can justify her actions. I would stick to my guns despite the strife she is causing...protecting your child should be your first priority and obligation.

Wow, this one is tricky. I can see points from both sides. I have a myspace page, that i barely frequent ( I still have my Christmas layout to say the least), but I would never let my 13 year old have one despite her pleading. There is a lot of bad stuff on their but i think the main danger is while the user is searching and browsing they can subject themselves to some pretty ronchy stuff. Having a private page, there is noway for the average guy to see pics. That being said, it really depends what type of "people" are on your sisters site as friends, some people have really questionable people. I would ask to view her friends site to really find out what type of people they are. Also, you can make sure that she has no personal info such as...here's me a neice at her school, jefferson elementary, and we will be going to the bronx zoo tomorrow with her class...that tells people where they can find her. Your sister is proud of having such an adorbel neice and of how her being a good auntie makes her appear, and should rightly be.
On the otherhand, she IS your daughter and it is a little un reasonable for her to insist on doing something that makes you uncomfortable. What would she say if you said she had to have a special carseat installed in her car if she wanted to drive her anywhere and she refused,saying she thought you were being paranoid. I woudl nev er let my child ride with someone who didn't respect my wishes. This can be one of those cases, too. In all reality, I think that the chances of your family having a problem are 1 in a few million, and you may mess up a relationship that both you and your daughter share with your sister, but for some, that little chance if it can be avoided completely, the better. The right thing to do is for your sister to say, sure, I will take them down if it makes you uncomfortable, but if she's not wanting to do that and realyl feels like it's no big deal, then you might have to choose your battles, which do you care about more, the VERY unlikely chance that it will ever cause a problem, or the relationships you have. Good Luck

Maybe the way to deal with it is to simply arrange with her that if she wants to post or talk about your family then you need permission access for the my space account as well, otherwise your family is off limits. If she doesn't agree then you just have to cut her off from the access of all photos that would allow her to post anything anyways... that might also mean though keeping all non- printed photos away from other realitives. If she really wanted to though, she could take pictures of the pictures to post.

No, you are not wrong. We live in a dangerous society and our children need to be protected. I know someone who saves other people's pictures to her computer off of their myspace accounts. As for where to go from here, just keep your stance firm. Maybe do some research on child abduction to present to your sister and other family members who side with her. I am sure she is proud of her niece, but she is your daughter and your wishes should be the final say.

I agree with your stance. It's your children & you should have the final say about thier pictures being displayed. I am a little baffled as to why your sister would behave that way. I mean she would not want you to use her picture in a way she would not feel comfortable with, so why does she not understand your stance about your child. Are your parents any help, they should be able to talk to her. I would not give her any pictures in the future if she can not respect your privacy stance about your children. I am completely appalled that she would give you so much trouble.

I am truely sorry & I hope it all works out.

Hi J.,
Keep your stance! It is your daughter, not hers. In other instances (like in movies for example) your would need legal permission to use someone's image or likeness, even pay money. I do not understand how your sister feels she can do this when this obviously does not make you feel comfortable. I know she likes to show off her niece I'm sure, but she is YOUR daughter first, and what Mom says goes. Keep your ground. Sorry other family members got involved and are not on your side on this issue. I deleted my myspace too, got more trouble than good from it...

Hello!
I couldnt agree with you more!! My Space is only trouble. My husband has a page for his business & I told him if he even thought about putting a pic of our son on there, that I would ....well you can fill in the blanks. Your sister needs to grow up & take the photo's of your daughter off of her page!! Like you said, your daughter, your choice!!!!! End of story!
H.

Hi J.,
I think what your sister is upset about is that she feels you don't trust her opinion about the people she allows to view her page. I would just tell her that you didn't intend to start WWIII and that you love her but you would appreciate it if she would respect your feelings about this situation and remove the pics of your kids. Don't come from a place of anger when you're talking to her about it. She will become even more defensive. I don't know if this helps any, but if I were in your shoes, it is what I would do. Good Luck to You, L. B.

I totally agree with you. I have 3 daughters and I would demand their photos be taken off. Your sister had no right to post her photos without asking you first and to go to your family and start a rift was out of line. While it may make the problem with your family worse I would tell her to remove them and if she did not I would report her to myspace. Your childern are your 1st priorty not how your sister feels about your decision. IMO M.

Hi J. - I agree with you whole heartedly. Your daughter your right to say no.

I think that because this issue is with your sister though it is going to be difficult. Especially as she obviously has no respect for you or your morals/wishes.

All I can say is try not to get angry with her as she will keep them posted out of spite. Try and get her to compromise and maybe use a different photo that you can all agree on.

If all else fails cry as hard as you can - she will feel guilty and remove them!!

God bless you

M. F

If you feel like you don't want your child's pictures on the internet, you should be able to have it that way. Tell her your reasoning why, etc... whatever that may be and just talk to her about it. Reassure her that it doesn't make you think badly of her and that you aren't angry about it and that you trust her judgement, but that you aren't comfortable because you don't know the friends that are able to see those pictures.
That being said... you can't really control things like that anymore. What if the school takes a group picture and posts it on the school website? Anyone can get that. What if your child is playing at a park and there's a birthday party nearby and they catch her in a shot and post it online? Any number of things could happen where you can find a photo of your child online somewhere. The problem doesn't come from that. The problem comes when there is a lot of information about that child. Where they live, where they go to school, etc. If it's just a picture, it isn't going to hurt anyone.
This day and age, everyone has a camera phone and there are pictures taken constantly whether we know about them or not. You don't need to spend your life worrying about who has seen your children. Just protect the vital information and keep an eye on them. Don't stress it too much.

Hi J.
I agree with you. I have worked in the court/criminal justice system for over 28 years. It's so easy for someone to crop faces/heads/ and put them onto another body, etc. MySpace is another portal to trouble for children. I would hope I would respect someone's wishes if they were to ask me to do what you asked your sister to do and respect them as I would want to be respected. This isn't just for this situation, but all situations. Print out all the emails you get if you want and let her read them to see other people's opinions. I'm sure she's a very nice person and wasn't thinking of any consequences could come of it. Maybe she'll consider your feelings and do as you ask, so life can go back to normal in the family.
Good Luck
T.

You are definately not wrong. My sister did the same thing and was a little offended when I told her to take the pictures off. She had the same response, "I keep them private" my response was, show them an actual picture and get the pictures off my space. After much arguing, she eventually did remove the pictures. I hope your situation turns out well.

Your sister is disrespecting you. Your child, your choice. Her opinion on the subject is moot. A friend of mine had the audacity to put a video of my daughter on You Tube and I was HIGHLY p*ssed. Granted, there was no name given, but that is not the point. You have NO reason to appologize to her, she should be appologizing to YOU. Grab ahold of the reins and put your foot down. Everyone else in the family should respect that and also respect your strength as a mother. Hope you have a great weekend!

Hello J.,
I also completely agree with you! I have a 19month old girl myself and when my sister in law came down to see her niece for the first time was very picture happy, as she should be as a proud aunt. I knew that she posted pictures of her son on myspace and I requested that she keep any pictures off the interent. She was very disapointed, however, respected my wishes, as did all of my friends. Since then, I have posted pictures myself and given them permission, but the point is that it is your choice. Your sister legally NEEDS your permission to post YOUR child's picture ANYWHERE on the web, even myspace. Just because she is family, doesn't give her the right to override you. I agree with some of the other moms. You should explain your concerens to your entire family. Have a heart to heart talk with your sister and tell her that you are very happy that she is so loving and proud of your daughter but that you really dont want your daughter floating around the internet.
The sad part is that most kids are abducted/kidnaped by people they know. Who knows what people will do with pictures they find.
I don't see why she wouldn't understand where you are coming from considering the type of world we live in today. Can't trust anybody. I know to those that don't have children we mothers may sound paranoid (yes many have called me that and rolled their eyes at me) but there is a reason why we feel this way.
I hope your family is understanding and that you can amend things with your sister!!

K.

Legally, if pictures of a minor are being posted or printed ANYWHERE, the one posting MUST HAVE the parent/guardian's permission FIRST, in writing! If worse comes to worse, you could always threaten to take it to court. This might help her to see just how seriously you are taking this violation of privacy. It is not her place to scatter your child over the internet. I know she doesn't see it that way, but, let's face it, everything on the internet is hackable and downloadable. Also, just because she has her page on Private, does not mean that she doesn't have a sicko on her friends list. You never know for sure.

I do have a Myspace page as well, and it is set to private, but then, the only people listed as friends are people I have personally known for years, some since childhood. I guess another issue is how much you trust who she allows access to her page. You don't know who will be looking at these photos. Seriously, she needs to respect your wishes as your daughter's mom.

Honey, I got your back! You are right and she is in the wrong here. She needs to ask your permission before posting any photos of your family and then she must respect your wishes.

J., by all means, please stand your ground on this one! Both my girls (16 yrs old) have a myspace account. They were putting info there that should not have been put on the net at all. They just did not realize how many people CAN get access to those blogs and such. I had to tell one guy to not contact my daughter ever again, he was 27 and she at the time was only 13. She looks older than what she is (body wise) and she tends to use it to her advantage at times. But thats my problem! yours, please do not back down, have your sister take your daughters pics off before some one not so decent sees them. I know how it works too. One friend tells another that there is somehing that they need to see, and there that is! Your sister of all people should understand your position. Your family should be informed by you also of the consiquinces of her actions if the pics are not removed. No, do not back down, be firm, and make it happen. If she gets upset over it, you will still love her anyway. So will God, and he will be quicker to forgiver her than i would. I hope everthing turns out great for you. May God bless you and you have a great day. Love in Christ, C.

Wow! It sounds to me like the wrong person is getting too angry about this. I back you 100%. As far as where do you go from here, that's a tough one. Do you think that she would remove them if you suggested just e-mailing photos of your daughter to her friends instead of posting them? I am still shocked that she is not respecting your concern. It sounds to me like it has already been turned into an extended family issue, so defend yourself with the rest of the family by pushing the issue of disrespect and your fears. Maybe you can rally the troups to see things your way. Best of wishes.

You are right, completely and absolutely. It isn't even that she did anything wrong, but that it is your right to decide if you want your daughter's pictures published.
I don't know the protocol for this because I do not participate in MySpace, but I think you should be able to contact MySpace directly and have those pictures removed.

My sister and I have photos of our kids on our private myspace accts as well, the only difference is I DON'T EVER write their names...everyone I know, already knows their names. I just put "the kids"...and I don't put any swimming or bathtub photos...not that they are "unappropriate", but heaven forbid that they got into the wrong hands. I would gently tell your sister to let you first OK the photos before she posts them as well as just putting "the kids", out of respect for you...if her space is private...there is only a small handful that will see them and I wouldn't ruin your relationship with your sister...so I sure hope you two can come to an agreement. Life is too short for arguments. God bless you...take care. Let us know how it goes. B. (SAHM of 3 1/2 year old b/g twins).

Your daughter, your choice. Hackers can get to any photo on the Internet... anything they want. Don't put your girl out there if you are not comfortable with it!
Stand tall, and if your own sister can't honor your choice, I'd take family rift any day!
K.