I visited a vpk school for my son who is 3 and when I was touring the classroom one of the teachers grabbed a boy's hands harshly and told him to keep his hands to himself. She also went up about 1 inch from his face and said that all he has been doing today is causing trouble. The poor boy looked really scared. God I wish I knew who is mother was! I saw enough and left. Am I just being naive about what really happens?
Maria:
This is what I would've done.
1. I would have stopped and talked to the Center Director about what I saw/witnessed.
2. I would then call the local licensing board and tell them what I saw/witnessed.
3. I would then call the corporate office - if it's a chain - and tell them what I saw/witnessed.
Kids can look pitiful when in trouble. There is a kid at my daughters school who is a big handful and when he gets in trouble from his face you would think you were looking at an innocent angel. I have seen his behavior first hand plus the reports I receive from my dd everyday and he is no angel.
She didn't hit him so grabbing his hands didn't hurt him. This maybe something the teacher has to deal with everyday. I would have mentioned it to the director and let her know that's the reason your son wont attend there. The teacher could have a history of not being good with kids or she could have had enough of his behavior. If it is bothering you call the director now and tell her/him what you witnessed.
It is a tough situation, beacuse you honestly don't know what he is like as a kid. Maybe he had been hitting other students, or pulling hair, and she grabbed his hands and told him to keep them to himself because he was hurting others. Kids will look "scared", but then turn around after being scolded and do it all over again. As a parent, I would rather they take a firm stance with kids who are misbehaving or harming others, rather than look the other way and hope for the best. Sometimes teachers in PK's need to be harsh.
You don't know the context. Did he just hit someone or pull their hair? Did she hurt him? Perhaps he had been hitting all day and she needed to make a point. If she got down on his level before speaking to him - that is a good thing. Children do listen better when you are at the same height as them and have them look you in the eyes.
I would have mentioned the incident to whomever was giving the tour and you probably would have gotten an explanation.
VPK is a tough age since many of the children are in school for the first time here in FL. Is there discipline in VPK - thank God yes, otherwise, it would be a complete free for all! Did the school give you their discipline policy? You should get it in writing and have to sign it.
C.
Unless you are in the classroom for the entire day, you cannot base your opinion of the place on that 5 second encounter. You don't know what the kid is like. You don't know what kind of discipline he responds to. You don't know if the child has vision issues. You don't know if the kid is just a brat. You don't know how many other times that day, she reminded him to keep his hands to himself...
Sometimes, they need a strong reminder. Sometimes they need the teacher to get down into their faces and tell them -in no uncertain terms - to keep their hands to themselves. You don't know if the kid is a hitter, a pincher, or a biter...
They can all turn on the charm and the scared...
If it bothers you - contact the school.
When I was a kid, Frankie got spanked in front of the whole cafeteria by the principal... There were no more behavior issues while we were at the school. Frankie was a handful. Frankie deserved the swat he got. Frankie behaved after that.
YMMV
LBC
Do you know this kid? If he has a history of being the naughty mischief maker, I can't say I blame the teacher! That kid might need the fear of God in him!
How long were you there? You can also call up the director and speak to him/her about discipline in general and decide if it was a one-off or if that was expected classroom management.
Personally, I follow my gut. If I don't like the vibe, then she doesn't attend there. There was a daycare center that "would do" but I didn't like the institutional feel or the vibe that the kids had to toe THEIR line right from 6 weeks on. It wasn't right for my child. The preschool we chose was one where we immediately felt comfortable, welcomed and the kids seemed really happy. They were frank in how they handled their discipline and we liked their thought process. While any kid can get your LAST nerve and my own DD will cry when reprimanded sometimes (it's a phase I hope she gets through soon - she fell out into a wail once when a friend told her to stop messing with the light switches), if that incident bothers you that much, keep looking to get some perspective and options.
I would have walked out also. I think it may be something you bring up to the director of the center and see what their take is on it. If nothing else, just to bring it to their attention. When I did daycare I always kept in mind "this little boy/girl doesn't have his mommy here, how would I want my child to be treated if the tables were turned" .
Call them and tell them what happened, that that this incident changed your mind about enrolling your child there. I know their point is education, but it's also sales. They missed out on a tuition due to this and that will probably (rather - SHOULD on any level) catch their attention.
No you are not! Dont put your kids there and tell the director of the VPK. The teacher needs a talking too. If you dont have a good feeling about the VPK, find another. I did and was sooooo glad. My daughter went to Ivy League Academy. I found an advertisement at Chickfila.
