Desperate Mom

My son is only 2 1/2, and at this point, sleeping well at night, but he is definitely different with me than with anyone else! I was a nanny for a year, and he played pretty rough with the younger child I was taking care of, every chance he could he tried to wrestle, and sometimes would just push her over just because it was so easy (she was just starting to walk, he was 2). I was worried about how he would be in daycare when he started 2 months ago, and they only had one day with that problem so far, and that was because he was very crabby from being sick. But usually as soon as I pick him up anywhere, he completely changes. He knows my rules and knows I am strict and will not give in, but just something about it being Mommy... just makes him try to be naughty. Many other people have noticed this too. The best thing you can do is make sure you spend enough time together, and give enough attention, and be firm on your rules. It sounds like maybe since you are busy with work and school (both part time... but I am sure that still takes a lot of your time), maybe she is upset about not having enough time with you. That could be part of why she follows you around, and also even why she wants to wake you up. She misses you, and wants as much time as she can get, even if it means during the night. I would just tell her you can't get up during the night unless it is really important. If she wakes you up, tell her she can get it herself, and you can't get up to help her do something that she knows how to do all by herself. Just refuse to get out of bed, and make her go to get it by herself, and eventually, she may not even want to get up and get it anymore. It's hard to do and see them cry and do nothing, but sometimes it is the only thing you can do. If you don't get your sleep, you will be soo tired during the time you do have with her, that you won't be much fun anyway. She also needs to get her sleep, so it would probably be best for everyone if you can get her to stop doing this. Just make sure during the day, you give her as much love and attention as you can, but at night, don't allow her to get that out of waking you up, and if she doesn't get what she wants out of it, she should stop. Good luck! I hope this helps!

J.
Single mother to Connor (2 1/2)

I don't think I have any answers but much sympathy...my DD who will be 4 in 4 weeks is doing the same thing and waking up 2-3 times a night sometimes crying sometimes a wet pull-up. We can't seem to get her to not wet the bed. We have tried but both my husband and I were late bedwetters. But i have been telling her she can come in my bed when the sun comes up but not before. Sometimes it works, not always. She is also clingy and on me all the time lately but i think it is a stage since she is just starting preschool...i don't know...good luck

This may sound bad but I'd explain to your daughter she cannot wake you up unless it's an emergency and put a lock on your bedroom door. That's gonna wear on you to be waking up like that. My daughter has found out on several occasions if you wake mommy up for a not important reason I get really really crabby. She knows if it's super duper important I'd do anything in the world for her too. Maybe a dumb question but how do you react when your awoken? Maybe get crabby or tell her tell her if your thirsty theirs the bathroom good night and DON'T get up. She's got the game figured out with you, you react to it so she keeps doing it.Stop reacting ignore her and she should stop. There is no reason she can't do for herself something as simple as water or bathroom needs. Just put your foot down and in a few nights you should back to sleeping again.

Aahhh, the joys of motherhood! She is being completley normal! Children this age (I have 2 boys ages 31/2 & 5) are always different for Mom than anyone else. The boys even do things different between me and my husband. I can drop my 5 year old off at school and he wont go in...my husband takes him and our son goes running into school. At 3 things change for them, they start picking up on different things and their behavior may change at times. Also being in a mom's group I hear that their children, including mine, are practically different kids for their teachers than they are for us!

You also mentioned she wants to always be by you...again, it's normal. My mom just retired from having an in-home daycare for 21 years and I saw most of the children that went in and out of her place and at that age they want to be where you are still. They have some independance but they still want the comfort of having you right there.

Just when you think you have things all figured out our children go and change their routine and we have to figure things out all over again. I have also decided that a full nights sleep is probably not possible until they have graduated and are out of the house. (-: My 3 year old still comes and finds me every single night!! Just thank God for coffee and Diet Coke in the morning. (-:

Sorry I don't have any real tips to help you out but hope this was maybe a little encouraging that there probably isn't anything wrong...she's just being a 3 year old. Just remember these times because one day all too SOON she will want to be all on her and in school and you will probably wish she wanted you a little more. (-:

Well even if you are renting I wouldn't suggest putting a lock on your bedroom door, for more than one reason. First there could be an emergency. Second, there is no reason to make you daughter feel insecure by locking her out.

I just sounds as if she is testing her waters now. Having her not take a nap is a good idea, but if she appears to need one during the day, have her lay down for 20 minutes. She is probably doing this to you because you are her mother and she knows she can. I don't know if she is going to understand that you not getting sleep will make you crabby (as much as we wish they did understand that).

Maybe you could do a sticker chart with her, each night she sleeps through the night without getting out of bed, she would get a sticker. Then at the end of the week she gets a 'reward', it may be a small 10$ toy or going out to eat at a restruant of her choice. This way she could get excited about her being a big girl sleeping through the night!

Good Luck!

Somebody reminded me once that kids don't know how to express what they're feeling, so they do it through behavior. I wonder if your daughter is trying to tell you something--not necessarily something big, but maybe big to her. Maybe she's feeling insecure for some reason. Any big changes in her/your life in the last few months? I find with my son (also 3) that if I can help him say what he's feeling, and let him know that I hear him, just by saying, "You're feeling kind of scared, huh?" or whatever, then he can just move on. Or maybe there's something I need to change to make him more comfortable. If I can do it, I will, and that helps him feel heard too. Good luck. Sure sounds like you're trying hard to hear your daughter. H.