Curious What a Normal Amount of Masterbation Is?

Normal is however often or seldom as you want to do it. For some people that's never, for some it's a few times a day, and there are normals everywhere in between.

I think it varies. I think masterbation is only a problem when it's used INSTEAD of having sex with your partner (or going to work, or getting groceries etc). But even if you were masterbating once a day, as long as it wasn't interfering with your relationship, it would be considered "normal" and really, shouldn't be any of your husband's business.

The real issue sounds like you guys aren't communicating about your sex life. Instead you're refusing him and he's blaming you.

So, I would start there.

How often do you have sex? When you "don't feel like having sex with your husband"...... how often is that? What other factors are affecting your sex drive? Has your husband always wanted more sex than you.... or has something changed?

I will say this.... sex is important in a relationship - for BOTH parties. It's the way you connect, physically and emotionally. When that starts to go.... sometimes people don't know how to deal.

I would never tell a woman to have sex when she doesn't want to.... what I WILL say is that I feel like you should try and figure out why you DON'T want to... and then alter whatever it is that's preventing you from wanting to have sex with your husband.

He just wants sex more than you do and he doesn't believe than anyone else might want it less than he does.
There's a wide range for normal from none to several times a day.
If he wants more sex than he's getting, maybe masturbation should be his solution rather than his accusation.

Ya know what? Masturbation has NOTHING to do what not being attracted to your husband.

Normal is any amount that doesn't interfere with your living your life. Some don't maturbate much at all, some masturbate a lot. It's an individual thing.

Your husband is being a jerk, which is why you aren't interested in having sex with him. If you don't feel valued, you don't feel like being intimate. Somehow you guys need to communicate so you can feel close again.

Your husband accusing you is the real problem, not masturbation. You and he need to work on your communication.

Some people never do, some do every day. It's all normal as long as it's not interfering with your sex life. Like rosebud observed, that's not the real issue. Talk to him and find out what's really bugging him.

What's not normal? You should be doing it more or less? Or that you do it at all?

I have to say that is one of the oddest things I have ever heard a husband accuse a wife of. My husband would love to know when and how often I masturbate - it would turn him on :)

Yup, he's being a jerk. As long as you can honestly say that your self pleasure is not keeping you from wanting him, then it's not too much

Not all women are the same. Generally, females don't always loose interest after one and are very capable of multiple orgasms. Most men however are "one and done". My husband's term.

Seems like your husband is using his gender's "quirk" against you, assuming that your body works the way his does. Does he honestly not know about women? If so, I take it back, tell him, if he continues to use this against you then he's being a twat.

If you want to fix this you may need to communicate better with him. How often do you say "No"? How often does he make a play for you? How often do you make a play for him? A few of these things may need to change.

You may just have to flat out tell him that he must quit treating you like this or you will start.

Now, what works for us is to remind each other that "not tonight" does not meam "not ever again." If one of us is feeling "it" a little less then the other, for whatever reason, we'll give each other "a hand". Sometimes I take a second to decide to just how "off" I feel and I usually just go with it and end up enjoying myself too. We've also learned that sometimes once I've had one I'm ready and willing for more.

These tricks might help you.

Good luck.

If your husband is threatened by masturbation, there is something seriously wrong with him.
But it does sound like there is more going on here. He doesn't believe you? Why? If he gets so upset, just lie about it until he can stop acting like a bad boyfriend and starts figuring out how to be a good husband. If you are refusing him regularly, why? You two need to have a very frank talk about your expectations and learn the art of compromise.

Sex means different things to different people and different to husbands and wives.

Get the book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Learn how men feel differently about sex and making love vrs how women and wives feel about sex and making love. It will probably surprise you.

There are a lot of surprises in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Women either love it or hate it. No in-betweens.

There is also a good movie, "Fireproof" and its companion manual, "Love Dare". Love Dare will have lots and lots of suggestions on how you and your husband can do to be happier as husband and wife.

I just celebrated my 40th anniversary. And I have been practicing the suggestions in the Love Dare for at least 38 years and some of the suggestions even while my wife and I were dating.

You and your husband should read both books. He will learn a lot too.

Good luck to you and yours.

Hmm, yeah, that's not normal Queen, you should talk to your OBGYN about this. Tell him/her you are only pleasuring yourself every couple of months and ask if there is a medical problem, is there a medication you could take, or a cream you could apply? If there is a cream, have hubby help you apply and see where that leads. Good luck with this problem and we will pray for your recovery. Totally not normal.

Normal varies greatly amongst people. My husband, doesn't like to masturbate and just doesn't do it (And I'm pretty certain of this because at home he is with me a majority of the time and when he isn't with me he is either with kiddo or sleeping - But if he was somehow doing it without me realizing it, I really wouldn't care). However, I use my vibrator at least once a week. But that doesn't interfere with my sex life with hubby.

I think the fact that your hubby is accusing you of these things is the concerning aspect here.

Masterbation isn't normal. Not being interested in sex at times is.