Crying It Out - Chatham,IL

I'm with fuzzy. I didn't have the heart to listen to my babies cry like that. I think it's cruel and went against my attachment parenting philosophy. To each his own, I'm criticizing the practice of CIO, not the people who do it.

When I did CIO I did a modified version, never letting them cry for more then 5 minutes (and only then when they were only light crying or fussing). By giving them some time, but still going in when they did not settle, it let them know that they needed to settle but could still depend on me to be there. When I would go in I would not pick them up or feed them (unless they gave clear hunger cues), I would simply lay them down and rub their back/tummy and sing or talk softly until they calmed, and then leave. If they started fussing again I would wait another 5 minutes. It worked really well for us, but I did start younger then you, so it may take a little longer for an older baby to adjust. Best of luck!

Actually get a copy of Dr. Ferber's Solving Your Child's Sleep Issues (Problems).

If you try and do CIO on your own without reading the actual book from the man who did the sleep studies on children. You will do it WRONG!!!

I tell you this is the biggest pet peeve I have on people bashing CIO or saying it "doesn't work" or is damaging to children is because they are not following the directions from the expert.

So get the book, read the book, follow the book...it will answer all your questions on "CIO". Which isn't really letting them cry and cry and cry...there is a method.

Good luck!!

When is his last feeding? If you are feeding him around midnight (DS went to bed when we did at that age), then it might be reasonable for him to sleep 6-7 hours which would be 'through the night'. If you are feeding him at 6-8 pm (seems like a lot of people put them down before dinner time), then expecting him to sleep 10-12 hours is simply not realistic. If you put him down at 7 pm, he will have slept 6 hours (a great stretch for his age) at 1 am. If you don't feed him, he will likely continue to wake regularly (or not sleep) until you do finally feed him.

I can't comment on how long CIO takes, I didn't do it.

ETA: Why don't you try just feeding him at midnight. I suspect he will then sleep through to 6 or 7 am without any 'sleep training'.

My kids both nursed or took a bottle once during the night at that age. I would guess at 7 months he might not be ready to sleep though the night. Although every baby is different. Having a baby is so exhausting. I'm glad I'm past that phase! The good (and bad) thing is babyhood goes by quickly.

When a baby cries, it is because he has a need that isn't being met, and crying is the only way he has to let you know.
That need may be for nourishment, or a dry diaper, or just the feel of your arms around him.
All CIO does is let him know that no one is coming to meet his needs.

Babies usually have a growth spurt in the 6-8 month range and need to eat more frequently. The best thing to do at this point is feed him when he wakes at night.

You have to power-through this stage of not getting enough sleep so that you can meet your child's needs. The child that sleeps through the night before age 1 is a rare thing. Take turns with your husband getting up, so that you trade off on the longer blocks of sleeping.

sounds to me as if you are not really doing CIO right. there's more to it than letting your kid scream himself into an exhausted coma, then wake to more screaming.
actually, that's not quite correct. plain old CIO is exactly that. hopefully you'll try the actual ferber method, which is more complex but far more effective and less traumatizing than just CIO.
khairete
S.

I agree wholeheartedly to be sure to read the actual book, don't just guess at what you "think" you are supposed to do, or at what "CIO" actually means. There is massive misunderstanding on that.

I did it with our daughter starting around 6 months. She had it down in 3 nights. The first night was the worst. The 2nd took about 20-30 minutes. The 3rd night about 10 minutes. After that there wasn't even any crying, I don't think (she's 13 now, I can't remember).

But, both our kids were sleeping through the night already by that age. In fact, they were sleeping 7 hours or more at a stretch by 3 months old. For some kids, there are other issues. But for ours, it was a matter of their daytime routine that set the stage for good night-time sleep habits.

How often and how much do you feed him during the day? And what kind of nap schedule? My daughter went to bed for the night around 7:00 pm (when she was 6-7 months old) and slept until about 5:00 a.m. (I'd give her a bottle then, and she'd sleep another 2 hours most of the time). This was daily, not a rare or occasional accident. They never woke during the night past 3 months old, unless they were sick or had gas.

Read Richard Ferber's book "How to solve your Child's Sleep Problems" It's awesome. Hopefully, you're not just letting your child cry indefinitiely. What Ferber proposes is creating as much of a bedtime routine as possible, putting baby to bed awake, and then letting them cry at intervals: 5 minutes, then check on them, pat their backs, say "I love you, now is time for sleeping, see you in the morning", then leave. Then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then 20, etc. Then on the second night start at 10 minutes, then 15, etc. Then on the 3rd night start at 20 minutes, then 25, etc. If they need a diaper change, or noses wiped, do that, but keep it very efficient, and put them right back in bed.
For us, with both kids, the first 3 nights were HORRIBLE - crying for an hour & a half total. Seriously, those first few nights are NOT fun. I recommend you do the first 3 check ins, and then have your husband take the next 3 - just to stay consistent and committed. BUT, by night 4, baby was asleep after the 1st or 2nd check in. I'd say it took us a week of real consistency to train, and then later, at 1 year, 15 months, we might have to retrain & we followed the same technique.
This was the biggest relief we had - finally a reasonable bedtime routine & a pretty consistent night's sleep. It isn't always perfect, - travel, illness, etc. always messed us up & we had to retrain a little. But it worked for the most part for us!

Get and read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child!!! Great book, talks about how to do different versions of CIO and what are realistic expectations, etc.

With my kids, I always found modified versions ( never more than x minutes, check and re-check, patting backs, etc.) to only further infuriate my kids.

At 7 months, I would hesitate to still do a bottle in the middle of the night. But I'd limit it to just the one and for example....if he is crying and it's after 1 am or whatever - do the bottle, quick diaper change and leave. After that if he wakes up, you know he is not hungry and you can stay out.

Of course, make sure there's no good reason he's waking up that frequently (ie pain)

Again, please get the book it it amazing!

It's the night wakings that are the main issue here. 9 PM is way too late of a bedtime for a baby this age. You don't mention what time he's up for the day, but I can almost bet he's just plain overtired, which in turn, causes frequent night wakings. Start aiming for a much earlier bedtime. 7 or 7:30 would be a good reference point. He'll still wake up to eat probably once per night, but other than that, the earlier bedtime will give him much more restful sleep periods. Hope this helps!

He's probably hungry, their tummies are about the size of their little fists.

I truly don't know anyone who had babies that slept all night until they were well over a year.

At 7 months you can be giving him very very limited foods. If he's eating very much he's probably starving for nutrients and needs to cut back on food. Formula or breastmilk has everything he needs. Each bite of food you give him takes away nutrition from his complete nutrition.

Until he's older he doesn't "need" anything else. Food is a tool to teach him to chew and swallow, not for food.

If he's eating food this might also keep him from sleeping too. Their little tummies are sometimes not ready for it and when he eats the food goes into his little tummy and sort of rots instead of digesting.

SO if he's eating much you might consider stopping it for a while and giving more formula/breastmilk to fill that nutrition need.

I think that most babies are going to wake up several times during the night for that first year. I just really think people who say their babies do that are so very lucky.

If you are not breastfeeding perhaps you can have mom or MIL come over and stay for a few days and they can get up with baby during the night. That way you can get some sleep. Even sleeping through the night for a few days can really really help. I had one that was still waking up during the night until he was 18 months. He just wanted people. Once we let him come crawl in bed with us if he wanted we started all sleeping all night long. It was wonderful.

Are you doing full CIO or are you still going in periodically? If you're still going in periodically, I recommend stopping that part. With full CIO, our kids were sleeping through the night within days. However, when we first did it and went in periodically, that just made things worse.

Hi,

Our pediatrician told us the babies have the capability to sleep 10-12 hours straight by 4 months old and he was right. Both our children slept that long by 4 months (one did it at 7 weeks!). Your child does not need to eat every 6 hours at 7 months.

I agree with another responder - 9:00pm is too late of a bed time. Sleep begets sleep. Try 7:00-7:30pm. A consistent bed time routine is needed but sound like that is going okay for you.

When my son was about 6 months - he was sick and then we traveled and then he started waking up in the middle of night and we started feeding him bottles. Our no-nonsense ped said to us "If you are hungry in the middle of the night do you get up and get a cheeseburger??" well no - so we stopped feeding him and guess what? He did not die! :-)

So after lots of research we decided to do the CIO Ferber Method (you can google it and find lots of info about it.) The first night was the WORST!! He cried for an hour and fourty five minutes. The second night forty mins, the third night ten and the fourth night he slept 11 hours straight. It is really tough but it is over in 3 nights. You have to be consistent.

On a side note - don't let people make you feel bad because you choose CIO. You need to make the best choice for your family. Attachment Parent followers are making the best choice for their families and I don't fault them for that. It works for them - yea for them! If this works for you - yea for you! It worked for us and my older son is now 7 and I don't see any adverse side affects from it. Do some research and make your own decision.

Good luck to you!!

We do go in during the night and pat him. He doesn't eat much before bed so we have fed him if it is after 3 am. I feel bad not checking on him.

Any kind of sleep training is based on consistency on your part. You don't say what you're doing when you let him cry - if you go in at all, or not.
Basically, any kind of behavioral extinction will work, some methods just take longer than others.

We did CIO with my kids and it took 2 days/each. But I closed the door and didn't go back in until morning.

He's also old enough to realize that his behavior gets reactions out of you. So you're fighting more of a battle now, than if you were to try this at 4mos, for example.

So...if you want to sleep at night...stick with it. Consistently.

If you give up now you'll start over.

(and please, don't listen to the people that are going to respond trying to make you feel bad for CIO. Not everyone chooses the same parenting style, but in the end, the kids are fine - whatever you choose. Sleep training is about what YOU are comfortable with in the end.)

We used the Ferber method. It worked for us. It took about 4 days. We knew he had learned to self soothe when he would wake, but just wimper and fuss a little bit before going back to sleep. We had to revisit the method though at different milestones, i.e. when he could pull up, but not get himself back down, during colds, & night terrors etc.

Best,
F. B.

Are you using Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? This explains the different methods, what age is a good time to start (7 months seems fine), and how long one might expect it to "work" depending on the method (CIO is generally faster than Ferber, but you have to be oh-so-consistent about not going in).

Good luck! We successfully did CIO with our first, but it was one of the hardest things ever. We didn't do it with our second. I think we were too overwhelmed at that point.