CoSleeping Nap Advice

Cosleeping will have their needs and wants. As you stated in your concerns with this were: transitioning child to sleep on his own; safety; child having healthy sleep habits; addressing doubts/concerns with spouse also towards plans in transitioning for a 2nd child.

Having simplified these goals, you would be able to prioritize it with better approach and support. First of which, would be to discuss the issues/concerns with your spouse. It would be helpful to have both parents working and agreeing on how to take the next steps that would work for the family and the child's environment.

Look at your child's development and how your child will grow. Look at your home environment (sleep areas etc.,) and what or what cannot be done. Look at the both of you of how your time's are managed and how your schedules fit.

There are more, to just transitioning to having your son begin to learn to sleep on his own as he will begin to develope more adventures; temperment; behaviors etc. Having his loving parents communicating on agreeable boundaries; limits; teaching styles will give him a more positive structure.

Good luck, parents.

Hi there - fellow co-sleeper with two kids under three here...it works out just fine.

We sleep in a variety of beds, each night, literally - I know it sounds strange, but it works for us. We all start out pretty much in our "appropriate" beds, and then eventually my 2 1/2 year old son joins us in the "big bed" and then when 9 month old baby girl wakes, I retreat with her into the guest bed for the rest of the night so we all get a good night sleep.

It works for us, we are all well rested, and I think this can be the same for your family too.

If you want your kids to start sleeping in their own beds, you can do it, it will be hard, but you can absolutely do it. I think you just have to be very consistent, and know that the first few nights will be hell, but then it will be over.

That said though, if you choose to continue cosleeping, as I have...it is a LOVELY thing. My son puts it best at 2 1/2 when I ask him if he is ready for his own bed, he says, "no mommy, I like snuggling with you and daddy."

This time is short, enjoy every snuggle and know that in time, they will DEMAND their own bed and privacy...and these days will be memories.

Our best to you - stay strong - and know that you aren't alone, and those of us who cosleep TOTALLY "get" it.

J.,

My kids are 3 and 5, both co-slept, all four of us in bed for awhile there. This WORKED for us. Us being the kids, myself and my husband. It really only works when everyone is on board! My son is 3 and still sleeps with us on occasion, however, he is fine sleeping in his bed. Both of my kids, fall asleep w/out our help and both sleep all night. This did not start for either until the age of 2 when they were night weaned. Some will tell you not to do it because they think A)it will ruin your marriage and/or B) your kids won't be able to fall asleep on their own...ever! Well, I'm here to tell you that both of those statements are not true for us. Our marriage is wonderful and has only gotten better since having kids - we ARE able to be intimate (the bed is not the only place for sex!) and my kids do sleep very well and are both very independent. I'm sorry I can't give you advice on transitioning a co-sleeper at daycare - he may just do fine. Depends on what the provider plans to do, CIO? Rock him to sleep? We also didn't transition in to rooms for either child until about 2 years old. Prior to that, both fell out of the bed at least once - then I finally got a bed rail! Works like a charm. You could start w/a mattress on your floor then slowly move him on to a mattress in his room then put a baby gate up so he doesn't leave his room during the night. If you have another baby and your son is already sleeping in his room then that won't be an issue. If you want to continue to co-sleep - it is possible w/four in the bed. Again, providing that hubby is OK with it as well. A king size bed is helpful. If you are surrounded by people making you feel bad about co-sleeping - surround yourself by people with similiar parenting styles and/or just try to understand those talking bad about it, didn't try it themselves or it didn't work for them and that is OK. Be confident in your choice and know that you ARE NOT hurting your kids by co-sleeping! There is plenty of evidence to back the benefits of it. Go to www.askdrsears.com and read about it - you'll find that you really aren't that abnormal!

Best wishes to you!
M.

1) try get him used to a transition object ie: a stuffed animal to hold, or put him in a swing. My son also loves his Fisher Price "OCean Wonders" crib toy and turns on the music himself to fall asleep. Or try white noise ie: we have a fan we turn on low when my son sleeps.

2) daycare may get him in the habit of sleeping on his own. A good thing. Tell the care provider of his trouble self-soothing to nap by himself so they know.

3) A baby this age should NOT BE IN A BED by himself. He should be in a crib...for safety. And as you see, even in bed with parents, they can crawl out or fall out getting hurt whether or not you are there. If not, try a floor futon. That way he can't fall out and get hurt... and it can be a good way to transition him to sleeping by himself. Another thing, if he is sleeping on a safer apparatus ie: a crib or floor futon...then when he wakes you won't have to rush in for fear he will fall off the bed by the time you get to him after nap/sleep.

*If he wakes and cries when he sees you are not there... well try NOT rushing in right away...give him a few moments to be by himself... I'm not saying cry-it-out...but babies need time to wake up, and sometimes cry/grumble a bit and then they stop and/or go back to sleep....if you rush in sometimes in between these little cries...it prevents them from going back to sleep on their own and you disrupt their REM pattern. Sometimes, rushing in at every little sound/cry they make, gives them the in-ability to soothe themselves.... sometimes giving them a moment to themselves can give them a chance to learn how to self-soothe. Really "Listen" to his cries... they have cries for hunger, for distress, for when they are in between REM cycles, cries for dirty diaper, cries for when they are wondering where your are as they go through "separation anxiety", and cries for just because but nothing "major" etc. So really evaluate that.

4) Any transition will take time & patience... be prepared for that no matter what method you try.

5) Nothing wrong with co-sleeping, we did that do, and still do from time to time. An alternative can be having a futon on the floor in your bedroom, to put him to bed/nap on... then when he falls asleep, you and Hubby will be right there... but in your own bed. That's what we do. Or sometimes our eldest child still comes into bed with us... it's okay with us.

6) for co-sleeping...it has to be, ideally, a JOINT decision with Hubby. Afterall, a man likes to have his bed to himself sometimes... with his wife. Be sure to consider that... you don't want Hubby to be unhappy about it... or at the worst, resentful of the co-sleeping arrangement.

7) as for having a baby #2... hopefully, transition your baby to sleeping in a crib.....it can be in your same bedroom, but not in the bed. Then when baby #2 comes, it won't be so hard. I know a friend in which they all 4 sleep in the same bed.... but yes it is a crowded situation and tricky, if one baby/child gets up or is fussy/crying.. and this wakes everyone else up. So this is why, I suggest another floor mattress/futon bed in the bedroom as an alternative...that way you are near the baby.... but not exactly co-sleeping...but it's a transition and can be a more workable sleeping situation.

There are many methods, albeit, complicated maybe. But just try it. If you really want to "wean" your baby from co-sleeping, it's just a matter of doing it, and seeing what happens.

Good luck
Susan

Hi J....I still co-sleep with my 10.5 month old son part time and I'm trying to get him in his crib longer. First off, congratulations for all the cuddle time you have gotten....IT'S WONDERFUL! I miss him when he's not with me...DO NOT feel bad for co-sleeping. I would like to suggest start with his first nap of the morning/day. Do your routine, feed, rock, nurse, read, whatever it may be, then place in crib once asleep. I would also try this at bedtime. I feed mine at 630ish, bath at 7-730ish, then dress, rock, nurse, listen to his glow worm and once asleep (by 8pm) place in crib and he'll sleep from 2-3 hours, then wake up. This will take some time and is frustrating. Once this morning nap is sucessful, move to the next nap time, then the next. My son naps in his crib and will go down at the beginning of the night for a couple hours. I'm having a hard time from around 12 midnight to morning...he constantly wakes up. Hopefully this helps a little....

Good luck!
E.