Cosleeping and Breastfeeding

Ask someone who works in an ER or as an EMT what they think about CO Sleeping with infants.
Sorry to offend. What I have heard has scared me, but re reading I see he is an older baby anyway. I LOVE Amanda's link to SAFE co sleeping advice!

Hi D.,

Even though I don't have any advice (my kids never had a crib. They went from my bed to a big kid's bed) and I hadn't planned on responding until I read your "What Happened", but I wanted to comment on what you said....

I co-slept with both my kids from birth. My almost 5 y/o started to sleep by himself just recently! I wouldn't have had it any other way. In fact I miss it now that they are both sleeping in their own beds and I don't see their little faces right up on my face when I wake in the morning =-(
Now, they sleep about 11-12 hrs a night in their own beds so sleep is not an issue at all!

Anyway I just wanted to say that it's a pleasure to hear from a Mom that bonds with her baby the way you are. They grow so fast! Co-sleeping IS the most natural way to be with your baby. The bonding you experience is like no other and I couldn't imagine having a baby and not having that privilege. I'm so happy I did.

You sound like such a great Mom!!

Best of luck to you!

Dont let ANYONE shame you about co-sleeping, the incidents of s.i.d.s are SHOCKINGLY lower in babies who co-sleep with mommy. I will not sit by and watch incorrect information be given to a mother who has been doing whats best for her baby. Thats like saying breastmilk is bad because some babies have allergies, absurd!

That being said, Hi D., I understand whats going on, i think you will have to tough it out for a little while to retrain the little guy into crib sleeping, so far he has learned that rooting and reaching leads to milk because as co-sleeping mothers we wake to the slightest movement and coo of our babies. I do not suggest any such "cry it out" methods, or ferber-type approaches. I would invest in a good monitor and maybe set up a comfy place to sit near the crib for singing and caressing his little head. He wants to know you are there, its not the worst thing a baby can want. After awhile with this new style, he should adjust, but please let him adjust in his own timing and not any kind of depriving attention method.

p.s., this was just ONE of the sites i found to support co-sleeping based on actual case studies , there are hundreds that say just the same http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

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I wish you luck... I would let my daughter fall asleep while nursing and then place her inthe crib. If she woke up I would rock her while she fell asleep on my shoulder. Somedays I just gave up and let her sleep in her swing.... but mostly with time I was able to get her to sleep on her own. It just takes time and patience and small steps of change. Too much at once scares them.

First of all, good for you for choosing natural and being so in tune with your baby. I applaud your choices!

We co-slept/exclusively breastfed with all three of ours (our youngest turns 3 on Monday and is still in our bed) and I hear what you're saying! I never, ever did cry-it-out, either. Listening to your baby begging for you is hard for a reason. So again, good for you!

We tried various things for naps. We did monitors and pillows around the baby, and on the floor. I got one of those bed rails and put that up on the side I put the baby to sleep on. We tried the crib with the first two, but it never really worked out for us. We got rid of it. I used a sling, which worked great. I've heard of moms having the patience to make the crib a safer place by spending awake time there, by staying right with the baby for hours until she or he fell asleep. He'll sleep there if he feels safe. It just seems like so much work. The most natural thing is to nurse your baby to sleep (which is why they get sleepy when they're nursing--it's crazy to try to go against nature! It makes it so much harder!) and either keep him with you or be close by in case he rolls. I know it seems like it will never end, but before you know it, he'll be jumping off the bed and yelling "Mommy!" This time is incredibly short and you'll find just the right solution for you!

My three kids are delightful and well-adjusted and LOVE to sleep. We have never had a problem with sleep. You are doing it just right for your family. Good luck, and keep up the good stuff!

I breast fed all five of my children to at least a year. We did not co-sleep. All of our children were sleeping thru the night (minus times of teething and a cold or two) by the age of 2-3 months and 10 pounds in weight. I had them cry it out for a couple of nights (they never cried much). I know they were happier and better rested with a full night's sleep and I absolutely was. I highly recommend getting them used to falling asleep on their own as young as possible so they won't get into any unpleasant sleep habits. Since your little one is a year old it may be a bit trickier and more of a battle to get him to sleep on his own, but it will still be worth it. If you have more children, try getting them to sleep thru the night when they are smaller. It will make your house happier :)

I started with easing my son into his crib gradually. i would rock him to sleep then let him get into second gear then put him in there. if he would wake then i would let him cry for awhile to see if he would doze back off on his own. if he didn't I would go get him and try agian. it took about 2 months to get the idea that this is where he was supposed to sleep. then i started working on it for night time sleeping. and it took about three months for that to set in. it takes alot of patience. and i started doing this when he was 6 months and i couldn't breast feed any longer. it may take a little longer for you since he has been in the bed with you for a longer period of time. but just keep trying eventually he will get it. good luck!

Our little girl, now 7yrs, BF until she was 2.5 yrs and co slept until almost 3yrs. For naptime, when she became mobile, I put a single sized airmattress in her playroom and nursed her down in there. When she woke, most times she would call out for me, occasionally she would just get up and come find me.

It sounds like he needs to nurse a little longer during his night feeds instead of just a quick comfort suckle then back to sleep. Ours would sleep from 2-3 hrs during the night, so can't give much help there. Maybe check out askdrsears.com and see if they have any advice about night feeds as he is a strong supporter of BF and co sleeping. YEAH FOR YOU FOR LISTENING TO YOUR MOMMY INSTINCTS.

Hi D., My son is doing the same thing! Sleeps with us and wakes often to suckle... as much as I'm tired and feel like the human pacifier, I know this time will pass. I love having him close and knowing he's ok and seeing his smile when he first wakes up!! Having said that... I have no answers! My daughter did the same thing. She stopped breastfeeding around 2 years old and she's a great sleeper now, so all I can say is hang in there! :o)
Good luck!

My son slept with me till he was one year old. Then I put his crib right next to my bed and put him to sleep in that. He was upset and angry and he cried a lot, so I sat next to him and rubbed his back or leg or head to comfort him and told him it was bed time. Everytime he tried to sit up I just laid him back down and told him it was bedtime. He would cry for a while until he realized that I was not going to pick him up but that I was still there to comfort and love him while he fell asleep. I did that until he went to sleep and then I went to bed. When he woke up during the night I would not pick him up I simply rubbed and touched him to comfort him back to sleep. Before too long he stopped fighting me and went to sleep almost as soon as I put him down. After a while I moved his crib across the room and eventually into his own room. The key is to be consistent but you don't just let them cry it out you still offer comfort like back rubbing. Also remain calm and confident because the baby will pick up on it if you are unsure and upset. You need to reassure the baby that she will be fine and that her bed is a safe and secure place to sleep. It takes patience because you might spend an hour or more getting her down at first and there will be times when you finally go to bed and she wakes up ten mins later but don't give up. I now have a 3month old daughter who is sleeping with me and I plan to use this method with her when she is old enough.

Hi D.,

I feel your pain. When my son was 8 months old I was nursing him to sleep in our bed and then putting him into the portable crib next to our bed. He was still waking up at all hours of the night and I would nurse him back to sleep. I was sleep deprived and finally decided something needed to change. At 8 months he was old enough and heavy enough that his night feedings should have been cut out anyway or so my pediatrician said.

I did some research and decided on a plan. The biggest part of it was having a wonderful husband who helped me out. I still nursed him to sleep when he would first go down, but we moved him into his own room and crib. Then for the next couple of nights whenever he woke up crying my husband would go in and comfort him and put him back down in his crib. I cut the nursing out completely during the night, Within a week he was sleeping through the night.

I think that the trick is you can't be the one to do it at first. You need help from someone who doesn't have the milk. I will say that it was worth the effort and determination. Not just for me, but for my son as well, because he started sleeping so much better after that and he wasn't being overfed.
Good Luck and best wishes for some restful nights!

We never used the crib really as DD was impossible to transfer once asleep (I'm short and just couldn't do it without waking her). So at that age I was still nursing down for naps and I put her on the floor on a blanket or on our bed with barriers. It worked for her, she never fell out of bed. I had a monitor on so I knew when she woke up.

So is he only waking hourly during those first 4 hours, rather than all night? I'd try extra feeds during the end of the day or maybe adding a protein snack in the evening to fill him up more. Are you using white noise? That helped us. Stick with the No Cry Sleep Solution. I know that works for a lot of people. Having a specific night time routine worked wonders for getting DD down.

Waking every hour seems extra frequent, if he's doing it all night at that age. I might look at his diet to see if there is something that is not agreeing with him if that's the case. Or if it hasn't been going on long, it is probably just a phase. I know my DD went through a couple 2-3 week phases where she was nursing like a newborn and they preceded big milestones for her so she knew she needed all that nutrition round the clock. If he is teething he may also need that comfort nursing to get back to sleep. Or maybe because he is now mobile he is just nursing less during the day. If you think that's it, try adding more during the day.

I had a round-the-clock nurser until I nightweaned (though other than the phases, it was much less than hourly!), some kids just like (and probably need) all that milk.