My husband, daughter and I are invited to three communions this spring. One is in April and the other two are on the same day in May (one is a lunch reception and the other dinner.) How much money do we give for each friend's child?
Two of the three friends I went to junior and high school with but our friendships have faded and I have not seen either one in at least a year and a half. Now we are invited to their kids' communions. If I go to one, I have to go to the other. I already told these two friends we would attend.
I suggested that we need to cover our plates especially at the communion scheduled for dinner so maybe $125 each?
Thanks everyone for your responses. I don't know what to think about this one. I live in New York and to be honest, I think $125 although is generous but might even be expected if parents think guests are covering their plate. I went to a communion at someone's house last year but I am pretty sure we didn't give as much because it was in a house.
Ok, now someone understands how expensive living in NY is. But really I get it about the gift in a way. At my wedding, some monetary gifts were variations of $100 for two people attending (which did not cover two guests' plates but would I call them out on it?) all the way to $400 which was super generous coming from friends. I just want to do the right thing. Although I almost agree with the person who said if I hadn't seen these friends in at least a year and a half (and they live literally 20 minutes from my house!) should I care what they think? The problem is I do. Thanks!
Of course the old saying goes, you give what you can afford. I'm really surprised at the responses. Thank you!
What? $125 per child is VERY VERY generous. $50 would STILL be generous.
You got plans around Christmas? Lets be friends....
;0)
Hold on did I read that right? $125 each for a Communion? Good Lord, no, not in my circle. A typical 1st Communion gift in my circle is $25-50. $50 from family, $25 from friends. Honestly it's not that big of a deal. It's not like a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or a wedding. Your circle may differ, but I have never heard of anyone other than say a godparent or grandparent giving a gift in the range you are thinking.
I give $50 for communion celebrations. You are being very generous but I really do not think you should feel obligated to give more than $100.
Ok, maybe because I come from a huge Catholic family with many baptisms, communions, confirmations, and weddings every year, but $125 is way too much. We do $25-$50 per event (more for weddings obviously).
oh my long islander. i know exactly what you mean. my kids had their communion last year in long island and i know how overboard my friends went with their parties. so if you're going to one of those parties i would say a 100 each. if they're smaller and more intimate 50 each. i feel your pain.
:)
WHAT!?
I have been to lots of communiuns. LOTS. My husband is Mexican, everyone is Catholic...we have been to a LOT.
I have never....ever....EVER...given a kid more than $20.
Why would you "cover your plates?"
That's like your son being invited to a birthday party and you pull the hostess aside and say, "here's $20 for my kids pizza"
Ummm....that's insulting. I am sure you are not trying to insult, but I would be insulted if I invited someone to my child's communion, baptism, birthday or graduation and someone gave me money to cover their portion.
L.
Money should not be a factor on such occasions. You either feel close enough to the family to attend and spend what is in your budget or politely decline the invitations and send a nice card with in enclosed gift card (IF YOU CAN AFFORD).
GOD does not expect us to be keeping up with the WHOEVERS!
If you hadn't added that you lived in NY, my eyeballs would be popping too, at $125 a plate.
But you're in NY and everything there is expensive, and relates directly to the financial circle you and your friends are in.
What you have proposed is very appropriate and generous. Please also give the child a gift - a book would be nice. I got several books when my children were christened - lovely illustrated books by James Herriot, the British veterinarian. As a mom, I loved these. My children loved them for years. And they "graduated" to the older versions of his stories when they were older. I never would have known about his books and how much my children would love them if I hadn't received them as christening gifts!
$125 would be crazy over-the-top in my community. A question you might want to ask yourself: If I haven't seen these people in at least a year & a half, do I really care what they think about this gift?
Holy Canoli! Most of our guests at our wedding didn't even give us $100, and we had a darn nice wedding!
I was going to say about $25-50.
My son has his 1st Communion next week, I think a $20 gift is plenty. I would be more happy if people actually came and celebrated with our family. My son isn't expecting gifts anyway.
That's it, my kid is converting to Catholicism. $125!! Are you KIDDING me??
Why should YOU have to pay for a dinner, in which you are a GUEST? How rude of anyone to throw a party, and expect everyone else to pay for the freaking thing. Put $20 in a card and call it a day.
Wow. I was not under the impression that you had to give a gift that would cover your plate at a reception.
You need to give what you feel is appropriate. I never give more than 30 dollars if it's not a family member or close friend. I don't think you're even thinking of the child here, but of what people will think of you. In that case, give whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
