College Trunk Party?

I would say ZERO to $20.00 especially if you have not talked to them in years. Just because they give you an invite does not mean you are required to provide cash like an ATM. That really bugs me when people do that!

Why do people do that, they send invites to people they have not seen or spoken to in a very long time. Then the invitee feels obligated to give a gift just because they once had some type of relationship with the person. I personally think it's rude. So I say ZERO but if you would feel guilty then I say $20 max.

No more than $20. I usually do a gift card to Kohls or Bed Bath & Beyond.

If you really don't know the grad, then just send a congrats card. You don't need to send a gift or gift card.

whatever you can give and are comfortable giving is what is appropriate.
don't get caught up in thinking there are some sort of rules around gifting.
in today's economy, most families are stretched way tight anyway. I actually think it's rude to send out an invitation for a "trunk party" that says cash or gift cards only. that's not a "trunk party". A "trunk party" is when you bring the grad something they will need throughout the school year for their dorm room. The last "trunk party" I went to, I asked the young lady what she really needed and she told me she wanted a large supply of her favorite bath soap - dove w/cucumber and aloe. I was happy to oblige her with 5 multi packs of this and it lasted her throughout the school year.
traditionally, there would not be a trunk party and a grad party. just one party. it would include food and fun and visiting and getting the grad ready to go off to college - it traditionally would include the family and community that helped that child get to this point in their life. we are very proud of our children that are able to reach this milestone and help the family by providing some of the things the student will need. It is very prevalent tradition in the African American community. I think it sounds like other people borrowed the term and concept and turned into a giveme fest.

J., I would give a card with how ever much you can afford. I would then write in the card that they should rent their college text books by going to Chegg.com and use code CC104388 for an additional 5% off (they will also buy books back and will give an additional $5.00 back if they they use the same code).

In just 2 years of attending college (I graduated in May '10), I personally saved almost $1,500.00. So, if they start renting from day one, more than likely they can save $3,000.00 or more. So, esentially, you would be giving them the biggest gift without breaking the bank.

If you'd like, please email me a private email with your name, address and the number of cards you would like and I can mail you out some Chegg.com's business cards with the code.

Do not go and just reply sorry I am unable to attend. I have never heard of htis and i think it is just a sad way to ask for gifts and money and plus htey are asking for gift cards only that is jsut wrong. Couldnt they just have a graduation party???? you do not owe them any explanation.

never heard of a trunk party. Regular Grad parties are bad enough. I would skip this one or just send a card.

I've never heard of a "trunk party" but I wouldn't succumb to their pressure to give them "cash or gift cards only". RUDE! Don't go to the party and don't send a present.

I hate to pile on here, but...had this been a graduation party I would say sure go and give what you feel comfortable with. But there is no 'celebration' here only a hand outstretched asking for cash. It's just plain rude. As someone else stated they should have had a grad party and it almost sounds like these people may have done that, too, and are now asking for more from people who weren't important enough to invite to that party. I say skip it all together and certainly don't send a card. Last time I was at the local Hallmark Shop I don't recall seeing a section marked Trunk next to Baby Shower or Graduation...

20 would be my guess

You haven't seen or spoken to this mom in a very long time and she invited you to her daughter's trunk party?? Seems pretty ballsy on the mom's part. If you are planning on attending the party $20 GC to Bed Bath & Beyond or Target is more than enough. If you are not planning on going and you haven't talked or seen this girl's mom in a long time, I would ingnore the invite. Pretend that you never go it. This may seem horrible to some of you, but really if your friendship has dwindled over the years, this mom is just looking for money for herself not her daughter. She doesn't want to shell out the cash for dorm items so she wants anyone and everyone she knows ( can't invite the daughter's friends they are all in the same boat) to chip in.....com'on. Then to put on the invite cash or gift cards only?? I can see if this lady was inviting just family and close friends but .. that is just too much for me.

I'm fascinated by this whole "college trunk party" thing. I'm hearing more and more about them. I think it is particularly odd when the same child has a graduation party AND a trunk party. I say if you want to give something, $20 is fine, but don't feel obligated. You don't sound very close to this family so I say skip it. On the other hand, sometimes a milestone event (baptism, graduation, wedding) is a way to get together and celebrate with people you feel close with but don't see often. If you think it would be nice to see this family, go to the party and give a gift - but still only $20.

I'm glad to see that other people also think a "trunk party" is ridiculous! I agree with the others...don't go to the party and just send warm wishes instead of cash.

If you really are not friends with the person and don't want to go, just send your regrets. Wish them good luck at college. If you still want to send something in the card, send a $10 gift card. If you want to send something more, but due to your budget, send only $20. If you are not really friends it won't really matter. I think it becomes more of an issue when you are really friends with someone and on a tight budget. don't sweat it! do what works for you.

To me it depends on how involved you are in their & their child's life and of course your monthly (or whatever) budget.

1) Family you are close with: talk to them at least once a month if not more, you are at all their & child's improant life moments (baptism, graduations, birthdays, weddings)... this type of relationship I give $50... of course if they had a graduation party the gift I give during that (around $50) is ment for college so then a "trunk party" I will not attend since to me that is what I did for the graduation party gift. If I attend both then the second party I would give $15.

2) Family that we talk to or see once a year: Obviously less close to this family but I usually give $25.

3) Family that we never talk or see: Well to me then they are just looking for "free" gifts and usually send nothing or $10-15 if they are nice people but we are just not close.

4) Friend that I am close to & a friend's child I am close to: Pretty much see or talk to them monthly if not more I treat same as the first one... $50.

5) Friend that we hardly see or talk to & their child: They would fall in #2 or #3 spot so between $25 and $10.

6) Friend that we have not seen in a year(s) & child: Sorry not going and not sending gift... to me they are just looking for free hand outs and honestly to ask someone for a gift from someone they have not seen in a year(s) is rude, to think they have a relationship to do that is rude.

If you feel you really have to give, which if you decline the party it is fine to not send a gift (don't feel that you are being rude), maybe a $5-10 gift card if you really don't keep in touch or $25 if you are really close (more then that only if you really can afford it). If you are going it should not be expected that you bring something, it is rude if they asked you to bring something (and something specific), but it is nice if you do give a gift no matter the cost.

$20.00 is good if you can manage that. Walmart gift card are good because there is usually one within walking distance of most colleges.

I would not go nor send a gift because you haven't spoken to the mother in a long time. I have never heard of a trunk party and they just seem like a way to make others pay for college expenses. The whole idea is ridiculous!