Co Sleeping - New York,NY

There is middle ground between CIO and full on co-sleeping, but at this point the child is 2 and she is used to having you there (I mean how many of us really like sleeping alone). You may need to start slow, sitting with her until she is mostly asleep, and then slowly, over time, shortening the amount of time you cuddle with her at night until she can go to sleep on her own.

I have to ask the same question-- if your partner is so committed to avoiding CIO, why are you the one in bed with Kiddo?

FWIW, we coslept until Kiddo was 3 (king size bed, we are all pretty good sleepers) and then moved him to his own bed. I would lay with him until he fell asleep, then went back to my bed. If he woke up, I'd help him back to sleep and return to my bed. At four, he was moved to his own room and told to go to sleep on his own. We did a few nights of 'walk him back to bed, no talking', and eventually he got it. I realize I did this later than you are now (my child was twice as old)-- but I do think you and your partner need to have a real discussion about this. I'm not a big fan of CIO (had to do it as a nanny, couldn't do it as a parent with my own kid), but at two years old, this is really a different ball game than letting an infant cry it out. No judgement here.

Let your partner handle it, and go back to your own bed.

Since this was your partner's idea, let him (her?) sleep in there from now on and deal with it.

What we did to smooth the transition:
We bought a toddler bed and put it next to ours. we inched it away from our bed slowly....
At around almost 3...we bought a big boy bed for his room....he went to help us pick it out.

HTH

If she's in her own bed, wait for her to fall asleep then leave. Let her know that if she wakes up and needs you, she can come and find you.

Each night, follow your normal routine and help her fall asleep. Then slowly roll away. Once she gets used to this you can begin sitting near her bed while she falls asleep and one day even leaving the room before she is asleep. But for now I would leave the bedtime routine the same.

Find a novel way to sleep for her... we have a super cute/soft sleeping bag for my daughter that she likes to sleep in. We first did the play tent in her room and she slept in her sleeping bag in that. Then we did the sleeping bag in our room. Now she's still in the sleeping bag but on the floor of her own room. The bag we have is from Pottery Barn Kids (soft animal head as the pillow). For the life of me I don't know why she would rather sleep on the floor than her pillow top mattress, but it works!

Well, I believe that your method of just crying it out for a few nights would have been the better choice here. I did that with all of my kids when it was appropriate to do so and they are all fantastic sleepers. Your husband should have been the one managing this co-sleeping business if he was the one who had this bright idea in the first place. I would absolutely have him pull Dad duty on this because who says you get to have all the fun....uh nooo....with this one. You are probably going to have to pull the good old bait and switch routine to get your daughter in her own bed alone. Fall asleep with her and then vacate the premises when she's out like a light. Hopefully, the sleepy little tot will love her sleep more than she loves the fact that you are sleeping next to her. But don't be shocked if that's not the case. This is why your husband needs to buckle his seatbelt and get ready for some major nighttime drama if it does occur. Your sleep has been compromised for two years now.....I would tell him that he can take the next two! If you guys decide to have another baby down the road, stick to your guns and don't employ the co-sleeping again. Kids don't really need that. It creates dependency and habitual behaviors that don't need to exist in the sleep routine. Not co-sleeping with your child does not ever mean you love them less. Don't ever think that it does.

When she goes to sleep you get up and go to bed. When she wakes up you take her back to bed and stay until she falls asleep. You do this over and over. She'll eventually stop doing this.

Our 6 year old wanders in about 3am most nights. We just pull him up in the bed between us and we all get a nights sleep.

I think CIO is cruel and just mean so we don't do it either. A few minutes of crying I can say okay too but once it gets past the whimpers and discontent to all out screaming and waling, that isn't right.

Co sleeping only works for people who WANT to sleep with their kids. You don't want to. So CIO is your only other option. Be sure she is full from a full day of healthful eating, tired form a good day of play, has a good night routine, enforce when you tell her to stay in bed and let her sleep. Yes, she will cry because she's used to you sleeping with her now. Stay the course. Or keep sleeping with her. You're the parent, just stick with your choice. Either way (co sleeping or not) she will grow up healthy and happy so do what is best for your family and think of the big picture, not the immediate inconvenience of whichever choice you choose.

BTW, if husband was against CIO, he should be the one co sleeping. Why is he alone in his big, happy, peaceful bed if this was all is idea?

I've done both methods. When my kids were infants/toddlers I made sure they were secure in their own beds and used "CIO" but there wasn't much crying because I never waffled so they got used to going to bed on their own right away. Now they're older and we often co sleep if someone is sick, or just for fun, I'm divorced and have a big old bed, but they're fine in their own beds as well so it's no issue. Whatever you choose, just be confident and DO whatever you choose for the sake of your daughter's security and routine. And get husband on board with the choice and make him help.

I don't have any suggestions because I only co-slept for the first six months, then did Ferber. If co-sleeping was your partners idea, how come you got stuck doing it?

I hear what you are saying but snuggling up next to a sweet warm little 2 you is so lovely. that time passes quickly. setting a low alarm or asking your "partner" to wake you so you can switch beds might work, or sleeping in a sleeping bag on dd's floor and holding her hand until she drops of might work too.

Make your hubby be on sleeping duty:) I'm trying to wean my 2 year old from nursing right now--do it slowly I say. She is used to sleeping with you for a long time. Set small goals for her. Search for books about the topic--I'm sure there are ones. I found one about weaning that has been helpful. I made a little song about how many "gee gees" a day she would get . I change the song when I'm ready to drop a nursing session and give her a substitute. This week when I wanted to drop her pre-nap feeding, I made sure to give her the obnoxious pretend laptop she found again after a long time to keep in her crib and that has worked well. I talk about what a big girl she is now and how her big sister doesn't need her "gee gees" before nap. Talk it up for a few days before trying to take the first step so she has time to mentally prepare. try setting a chair next her bed so you can stay there with her until she falls asleep. Assure her you will stay next to her till she falls asleep or until a quiet time goes off. Maybe get her a light up stuffed animal that makes the constellations on the ceiling and tell her you will leave after the lights turn off on their own? If she balks, then perhaps after you sit with her , then your hubby can take a turn;) He may make a good "transitional" object for her. My husband works nights which is why it was so hard for me to start the night weaning process. When he was on dayshift for the summer it helped immensely to send him in to settle her--she gave up far more easily for him than me. Good luck !