Co-Ed Baby Showers

It seems to me, that the new dad wants to be involved & wants to invite some of his own friends. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Well why shouldn't the father be included? He can't be celebrated like a mother? He's just as important as the mom. My brother was at his wife's baby shower.

I had my son 10 years ago... If I hadn't invited my guy friends... It would have been empty / family only. We grilled & played pool. I got extra shots because of my 'handicap'.

I would have been MISERABLE in a standard girlie type shower.

_____

In our area most people start having kids in their late 30's & early 40's. they're nearly never young/broke/starting out but secure/setup/prepared. Hence, most of the baby showers I attend, are more of an excuse for a party than a true 'shower' type shower. Funny parenting books, alphabet books made by attendees at party, handprint kits... Bonus type items that are fun, not necessary type items.

Our friends threw us a BBQ/Shower. My husband wanted to celebrate with his friends, I wanted to celebrate with mine, and we wanted to celebrate with "ours." It was wonderful!

I always hated those shower games with toilet paper and...well, other stuff nobody I ever knew, especially the Moms-to-be, seemed to enjoy. So I am glad it's a REAL party now.

In short, I love this "trend", rather than whatever that was before. My husband was also at the delivery of our son, not in the lobby with a box of cigars. That's been a nice change, don't you think?

I am nearly 50, by the way.

I am with Suz on this one. It sounds more like a ploy to get gifts than it does to share in the joys of baby, family, friends and general hopefulness of great things in life.

The trend of co-ed baby showers is common in my area BUT it is not what you describe. The co-ed showers I know are like the traditional ladies only affairs but with the inclusion of men. The men either participate in the games or do their own man thing on the periphery of the ladies gathering. From what I have seen the men typically gather outside around the grill. We did a co-ed baby shower for many reasons. Foremost I hate the games and being the center of attention so I wanted one shower to get it over with. With my husband present I could deflect some of the attention to him. Besides it was nice to celebrate with him the coming birth of our child. I didn't get pregnant all by myself afterall. Secondly since my husband's side of the family only speaks limited English, he had to be present to translate for his side of the family even if I only invited the ladies. Finally the people on my husband's side of the family are baby crazy so even the men like being included. I like how everyone gathered to celebrate not only the new baby but family in general. It was a great experience in my opinion.

I think it's cool and fun. Not really a trend that I know of around here, but my friends and I passed the baby shower stage several years ago. Why shouldn't the dad and his friends be included, and if the guys are included, why not make it a party that everyone can enjoy?

Why does the shower need to be just about the mother? She didn't make the baby by herself and won't be raising the baby solo, so it's not about her and really shouldn't be.

Does anyone actually like those stupid shower games? Thankfully those who hosted mine knew better than to do anything really dopey and girly. We shared some good food and conversation among friends and family, opened gifts and that was it.

i think it's nice that dads are included now, although i'm not sure how much they really want to be. my dh still has his coffee mug from my 1st shower, which was all he got (or wanted) out of it.
your situation sounds more like present-hopefulness than share-the-joyness.
however, i feel that way about showers in general. i'm a frickin' curmudgeon.
:) khairete
S.

Typically, at least here in my area and per my situation is this:
I have 2 kids.
With BOTH of my pregnancies... my AND my Husband's employer/office, put on a baby shower for us. For BOTH of us.
With my firstborn- There was a baby shower at my work place, put on by my Boss/co-workers. EVERYONE, man or woman, was invited. It was held AT the office.
And my Husband's Boss/employer/office, ALSO put on a baby shower for us... for both of us, and it was held at a party room at a restaurant. It was All of my Husband's Bosses/Co-Workers, Men and women in the office, invited of course. As well as some of my family.

With my 2nd child: (I was a SAHM then), my Husband's office, put on a Baby shower for BOTH of us. It was held at my Husband's office. ALL the employees, men and women, co-workers, where there in attendance.

I really do not believe that a Baby Shower HAS TO BE women only.
I see NO problem at all, with having Co-Ed baby showers.

With both my baby showers, it was put on and organized by the Boss and the co-workers. One boss being a Man. The other being a Woman. The baby shower was all baby color themes and frou-frou. Not some beer keg BBQ dude party. It was a BABY shower.
And YES, at both baby showers I had, we ALL (men and women) played all those typical baby shower games! It was FUN. Even the men had fun.
It was really great.

Now per your Husband and the invitation he got FROM WORK: it seems he was invited because the couple are inviting, the man's CO-WORKERS. And your Husband is a co-worker. They do not have to be BFF's. They are co-workers. As such, they would not necessarily KNOW you nor be your BFF.
The people they are inviting, are office co-workers. Therefore, they need to invite the co-workers. Because if they leave anyone out and don't invite certain co-workers, THAT... would offend someone. IN that office. Regardless of how close or not, they are.

I had a co-ed BBQ for our first shower and that was over 14 years ago. It was fun, my Dad BBQ'd, there were tons of people and kids there and the focus was not on dumb games and opening gifts but just on relaxing and having fun like any other party. I did open presents but it wasn't so intense where everyone sits around ooohhing and aaahing about how cute everything is.

As you can tell I'm not a big fan of traditional baby showers and honestly they seem a bit dated. If I want to hang out with my female family or friends I prefer lunch or a spa day. If I'm at a party I prefer that men are there too. A man did have something to do with making that baby right?

At a company I worked at many years ago there was a shower held for a man at work who's wife was having a baby. The wife was no where to be seen lol. It was this man who was totally shocked. He had no idea it was even happening lol. Until after work when he was pulled into the lunch room and there we all were with boxes and bags etc for his new baby. It was a lovely day but there were only people we worked with no husbands / wives etc. just the guy and all of us from the company.

i was thrown a surprise baby shower that was co-ed. my husband was a skydiver and i was not and his circle of friends threw me a shower. it was fun having my husband with me and seeing all the "neat" baby stuff we got. so i think it depends on how close you are and your comfort zone!!

Yeah, I don't know any men who want to go to a baby shower. I don't even really know women who like them. And I certainly wouldn't want to be inviting people who haven't even met. But it would be even weirder for a man to invite another man without the wives being involved -- so it has to be in her name, and you have to be on the invite to make it work, I guess. It's a nod to tradition but a way to get more people the husband knows there.

Its my favorite kind of shower. I have had a few for friends and its always fun to do a bbq with all the dads and kids. I personally hate the all women showers, I find them awkward :-/

In my area outside DC I have attended both girly no men showers. Official co ed showers with fun games for guys & gals and showers that had expectant mom girly shower with guts hanging out in basement. I didnt think it was trendy really just wanting to include dads.
Pammy

I had two low-key baby showers. One with coworkers, one with families. (I didn't have many friends in the area at the time, since we had moved less than a year before.) Both were mellow, un-cutesy, and co-ed. No games or any other silliness. I would've been very uncomfortable with that. I was 34 at the time, living in the Northeast.

We had co ed bachelor and bachelorette parties.

The baby shower was ladies only however. Not so much because I am traditional that way, but because my mother and aunt thought it should be so. My younger second cousins thought it was a treat to go to a party where no boys were allowed. My husband and I aren't big fans of baby showers and the to do about opening presents, so it didn't bother us a hoot to have him give it a miss.

Male friends, family and co-workers of ours who wished to give us gifts did so without having been invited.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

When I had my first daughter, I wanted the whole corny, frou-frou girly baby shower with finger foods and cheesy baby shower games. Of course, that was girls only. Men do not want to be anywhere near those parties.

When I was pregnant with my son, however, my husband and I wanted a co-ed get-together. I wasn't interested in the corny baby shower games, I didn't even want any pastel colors anywhere. After all, my baby is a little MAN! Yes, we did invite our male friends. I think there were more males there than females.

But inviting male coworkers that we weren't really friends with at all? Umm, no. I'm with you, that's sort of weird.

I've personally been to one co-ed shower, my sister's almost 12 years ago, a HUGE affair, and have heard of lots of them. What was funny at hers, there were people there neither my sister or BIL knew, they were friends of his sister's, who threw the shower.

And then last weekend my friend's Son-in-law attended a shower for his wife, who'd had an emergency C-section 3 days earlier and was still in the hospital with their preemie son. Apparently no one thought to postpone the shower, these were ladies his wife went to college with or works with, he knew no one personally but had a blast.

If you feel uncomfortable you could say so and not attend, my guess is it's a "social" thing, trying to be polite, inviting Dad-to-be's co-workers. The mom has to be aware of it...maybe they want more gifts? I'm going to be 60 this year and feel babies are a fun reason to party, I'd go if I was invited with my husband, whether we knew the mom-to-be or not.

My baby shower and wedding shower included my husband and my friends. My dad did not even come.. my son is 4.5. So I guess mine is not really a co-ed shower..

I think that it's kinda weird, the part about the guys passing invitations to each other, but it's something I just shrug my shoulders at. It might be their way of ensuring that they will have a good time. Maybe they don't have many friends of their own and use the work pool to enlist guests. I think that many invitations come through just for the gift factor.

So I don't make myself crazy trying to figure it out, I just ask myself this question: Do I feel like participating? If so, then I do. If not, then I don't. The end.

I don't mind it either way.

To tell you the truth. I like to go with just women. I like all the games and girly stuff that do not include men. I like to get away from them.

I think maybe the guy got to invite work people and he made the list. No biggie.