Can I Have a Baby Shower for My Second Baby?

Personally? I believe that EVERY baby needs to be welcomed into the world....
yeah - they are a little close together - so what? just have a small one..

Well my kids are 4 years apart.
I had showers for both of them.
Hosted by someone else.

That woman, was being real snotty with you.

Don't listen to her. Every baby needs to be celebrated. You could just say "no gifts" or something like that on the invite since you probibly already have everything you need.

Throwing your own second shower--tacky. If your friends choose to throw one--perfectly okay.

The shower is to welcome the baby--and all babies deserve a party!!

i had a shower for all four of my kids!
other people threw me showers for my first and second, i assumed i wouldnt have one with the third even though i need stuff for him (i had a boy, then a girl, then a boy seven years after my first boy whose clothes i got rid of because i didnt think i would need them!)
so i was 10 days over due when my friend threw an on the spot baby shower for me!! a few hours later i went into labor!
then with my fourth baby, i knew it was our last, so i had my friend host a big bbq party to celebrate our last pregnancy, i told people they didnt have to get us anything, but i registered cause i knew my family wanted to get me stuff! and we all had a blast!
(and my last two kids were 17 months apart)

K. - You will get answers all over the board on this. Some people think you are being selfish...which is hogwash IMHO. Some people just want to celebrate every baby...which is great! I think that if someone wants to throw a babyshower for you then that's awesome. I am so glad I have friends that wanted to rejoice and party with me with every single pregnancy...and I have THREE kids! gasp!
L.

Sure you can. There's no 'rule' that says you can't. *Some* people might think it's greedy to have one so soon after your first, but it's not like you're throwing it for yourself, right?

If someone had offered to throw me a shower for my second or third, I would have loved it. But no one did. So we didn't have one. No big.

It is tacky as hell to request a shower even for your first! The second one hell no and throwing your own is tacky as well.

If someone throws you one you gracefully accept. Someone throwing you one is not you dropping hints that you want one for eight months, you should actually be surprised.

You can, but since the timing is close together---call it a "sprinkle shower" its not the full blown shower with all the new mom/baby things--its the essentials: diapers, wipes, a few cute new outfits, paci's etc. things you need but not the big items like crib,strollers, carseat etc. I think your co-worker was rude to say that, but she also has a point-unless the baby's are different genders, most people wouldn't have a full blown shower within 18mos. They would have a sprinkle shower. Thats what I would do~ Congrats and let us know what you decided.

M

.

I always saw the show as FOR the baby... I assume it would be the babies 1st time being born?

Well, I am with your co-worker. It is tacky, but even more tacky of her to say something and jump to this conclusion JUST because you were talking about being preggers!
BUT, LOVE to have sip -n-see after baby is here. Sometimes people bring gifts, sometimes not, but it is a way to celebrate the birth and a sweet new baby without the strings attached to a shower (hence showering new mother/new bride, etc with gifts and essentials - which any second time mom should have).

I personally dont see the problem. If people dont want to come or attend then they dont have to.

But in my opinion, every baby deserves to have one. It's a welcoming party for the new baby. I love baby showers. I also love it when people wait until after the baby is here, because really who's party is it? :)

Added:

Why does there always have to be a rule for these things?? A new baby is cause for celebration. EVERY baby deserves it's own party, because EVERY new baby is a MIRACLE! Isnt that deserving of a party or shower?? I certainly think it is. What better reason is there?

K., if you want a baby shower, then you have one! Who cares if its your second baby? Its still a new baby, and you will love it just as much as your first. This baby, whatever its gender is and how ever long they are in between is no difference. Have a baby shower, whether people think its tacky or not, they dont have to attend if they think it is, and If people want to give gifts then wonderful, if not then they can attend and show their support and chat for awhile. Gift isnt necessary, its appreciated.

You give that baby a good welcoming party! :)

Mine were only 11 mos apart but my friends thru me a second shower. I didnt even care or know about it... I'm not sure what protocol is, but it sure seems to me that every baby should get a shower NOT just the first one.

I have a 12 month old and am 31 weeks pregnant - they will be 15 months apart, both boys! I told my friends I didn't NEED a baby shower, because I really do have everything I need. But they insisted. They WANTED to throw one, just a small get together of close friends at one of their houses. I am looking forward to it:) I also have several friends that in the last couple years have had 2nd kids - in most situations it is also boys coming after boys or girls coming after girls, and they have all had 2nd showers too. But its because friends/family have wanted to host it. Not because any of us have asked.
So I guess to answer your question, I think it would be odd to ASK for one, and/or register for things you should already have, but if your friends want to throw you one as an excuse to get together and celebrate your new bundle of joy, then I don't think there is anything wrong with it and I wouldn't be offended by it. Congrats!

EDIT: After reading some of the responses I realized I forgot to mention, we call them "sprinkles" too...none of the big baby items are given, just small items/diapers etc. It's really just an excuse to get together, not so much about the gifts.

of course you can.........forget that lady!....you also dont have to drink tea with your pinky out, and can absolutely wear white after labor day.

:)

Several years ago our boss and his wife were expecting their 2nd child. We threw him a shower at the office. We always had showers for the first, second, third, whatever child.

I say - welcome every child like it is the first child ever born. If your family and friends want to hold a shower for you - how wonderful and welcoming they are.

Just don't invite the snippy dippy co-worker ;P

Congratulations !!!!!!

God Bless

WELL.......I have 3 kids-1, 4, 8 and I had a shower FOR ALL OF THEM. I had a big shower with my first. My best friend threw me a "congrats luncheon" with some close friends. And with my youngest, my sister threw me a sprinkle, again with some close friends. The second and third were very small, and more of a celebration of life, not to give gifts to me. I actually didn't receive many gifts with the 2 smaller ones. It's 2011 and there is nothing wrong with celebrating a baby's life.
What is wrong with people!!! It's a simple question, she is not looking for a lecture.
Congrats on baby #2!!
Don't ever let anyone tell you not to celebrate your baby's new life!
J.

You do whatever you want to do! As for me I do not want a shower for the 2nd. I am due in Oct and this time we are having a boy. All of my friends have boys and they are giving us all of their clothes and I still have a ton of stuff from my daughter so I really don't need anything. When we got married and had our bridal shower I wanted my husband involved too. My MIL thought that I was stupid for doing so since showers are just for women. The men had a ball. So we decided to do the same for the baby shower. Once again the men had fun and my husband enjoyed opening all the gifts from everyone. Plus he felt included on everything.
So if you have another baby shower that is your business and non of the co workers. Ppl always have to put in their 2 cents! I see nothing wrong with it if that is what you want to do. Congrats!

She was being a bit snippy, but I think she's correct. I've always thought it's only for the 1st baby, unless the babies are really far apart or are twins/triplets...

I love the idea of a "sprinkle!"

In our family, Baby showers are only given for baby #1. I thought it was proper ediquette to only have a shower for the first baby.

Generally is it expected that Mom's keep/save baby stuff from the first shower and re-use them till they are done having kids.
There are sometimes exceptions.
Sometimes if a Mom had kids 10-20 years ago and now has a later in life surprise, then she'll need baby stuff again.
Or if it is discovered there will be twins/triplets/etc she might need more than she might otherwise have for one baby at a time.
Also, showers are generally thrown by friends/relatives.
You might work with them on it, but you don't throw one for yourself.

Oh dear.

Well, on here, you are going to get varying opinions on this, as usual. Most of which I will probably disagree with regarding this issue.

I cannot see how it is rude OF YOU if someone else hosts a shower for you. If someone wants to host a shower for you - by all means let them! And the way your post is written, a lot of the moms on here will assume you are asking about hosting your own. I doubt you are. I have never known anyone to do that.

I have never requested a shower be hosted for me, and I don't think many moms have. My friends just always took the initiative, whether I wanted them to or not! And I was always grateful!!

My friends would never dream of not having a shower for me for all three of my babies, and I wouldn't dream of not having one for them, no matter how many kids.

I don't care if you have 15 kids, if someone wants to host a baby shower for that 16th kid for you, THEY CAN and YOU CAN BE THE HONORED GUEST.

And I wouldn't invite your rude coworker.

A baby shower is a time to celebrate mom and baby. Every baby and every mom deserves a shower. Why is baby #1 more important or deserving? What if you had a girl the first time around and have nothing for your upcoming boy? Or, like me, I donated all of my baby items from my first two thinking I was done having kids, then here came humber 3 (6 years later).

If you already have everything you need for the baby, tell the guests not to bring gifts or instead do something else, like an IOU for food once baby arrives or donations to someplace - be creative. And I assume you wouldn't be hosting your own shower - so when you provide a list of guests to the host, leave off the rude people!
=)

Happy Pregnancy

I requested that not to have one with my second...I don't t think they are necessary and yes I do think they are on the rude side.

On the other hand I still go when I'm invited to...I have a friend and she has had a baby shower for all four kids...

On the other hand I know ppl who have had kids 10 years apart...I can see why they would have another shower.

I had a shower for each pregnancy.

For my second and third, I requested that guests make a donation of Clothes:socks, underwear, undershirts...pajamas. To Tree House. It is an organization here is Washington state that helps Foster kids get the essentials that every kid needs, but not always can afford.

When I worked for Nordstroms this organization was a big part of working for the company. We would go and work in the warehouse processing donations. I got to see first hand how many kids are in need of just simple everyday stuff.

You can always have a shower and ask people to make donation. I found that I still got gifts from people(not everyone though) even with the donation suggestion! I just got to help a great cause out too.

I had a shower for the second baby, but it was given by new people I had met since the first child and we kept it to that small group.
However as someone else mentioned, it is an opportunity for friends and family to get together and celebrate. I would not be offended if invited to a second or third baby shower for a close friend. Or I would buy them a gift even without a shower.

IMO every child deserves a shower. It can be scaled down if need be but it is a celebration of your child's life. EACH child is special and should be celebrated.
I had a friend once who had her 4th and decided to do a family shower. They invited 6 or so families for breakfast. They had donuts and cinnamon rolls, fruit, juice, and milk. Super simple and low key. The kids got to play. The moms got to chat. And I think the dads watched football or basketball. We had a great time.
If people don't want to come oh well. Thats their choice. Even if one of my friends does not have a shower for a non first child I get them a gift. An outfit or something. You always could use new things for a new baby.
Do you have pictures of your first shower? will you show them to your kids? How will the second feel that no one wanted to celebrate their arrival?? Congratulations! enjoy your new little one.

This is such a hot topic on this board always, really don't know why. I have had two showers and I think I will be having a third with the child I am carrying. If someone offers a shower, go for it! Your new baby is special too, having a little party for him/her is totally appropriate :D I think if I have a shower this time around I am going to just do a diaper shower, unless it's a girl bc I have boys! I recently went to a shower for my friend having her 4th baby, it was a blast. I believe every pregnant mama and new baby deserves to be celebrated and welcomed to the world, I didn't bat an eye when I got the invite, I was excited! Congrats, I never assumed you would throw your own shower, how anybody got that is beyond me!! ;)

A baby shower has always been for the first baby. Generally the mom's used the same baby bed, car seats, bottles, high chairs, etc... from baby to baby. As for getting new clothes for a new baby that usually happens when the baby is born and people come to visit.

There are several moms at my church that have 4-6 boys and finally got that baby girl. They got baby showers and got all pink girly stuff. That makes sense to me.

Well I think every baby deserves a shower, but I was also the kid who tried to open other kids' presents at birthday parties so maybe that's just me. :)
I had 3 showers thrown for me with my 1st baby (I had moved to Chicago, so my new Chicago girlfriends threw me one there, then back home my sister threw a shower for my friends, and also my cousin threw one for my family). My sister offered to throw a shower for my 2nd baby, and who am I to stop her?! We just had 1 shower, for my extended family - luckily I have a huge family. ;) It was a great time. It was also super helpful for me actually - I didn't need any baby gear, but my 1st was a boy and I was having a girl, so I got tons of great girly baby clothes and baby decor for her room.

I have never been to a baby shower for a second baby except when there
was a 12 yr. difference. Your kids are close and you should be set. After
the baby if people want to give a gift, that is great.

I am not sure where a second baby shower was placed on a list of "never do"; however, I am sure someone has written a book about it somewhere. lol. I have heard that this is not proper etiquette. Although, I have heard of many friends hosting a "Baby Sprinkle" or Diaper Parties for friends and family who are expecting which I think is very sweet. Don't let anyone upset you with their comments - anytime you ask for people's opinion or thoughts - you never know what you will get! Anyway, this is a time to celebrate and a baby is a blessing. If your friend wants to host a baby shower for you - let her do it big or small. If I was blessed with another child and a friend wanted to do that for me, I would accept. I would however tell her I would prefer something more casual and fun like a diaper party where each friend is given a different size diaper to bring to the party. You will have the opportunity to visit and when it is over, you will not have to worry about buying diapers for a while which is very very nice ! Good Luck!

i know a while back it was unpopular to do so. however, my mom had 4 kids and i'm pretty sure she had a baby shower for each of us. i had 2 kids (boy and girl) and i had a baby shower for both and they are 25 months apart. i wasn't going to have another cause we still had everything and i don't like for people to spend money when it's not necessary. i mostly got clothes and diapers and it was a nice get together with family. nowadays, i think people are having baby showers for all babies.

I knew you didn't mean you would be throwing yourself your own shower. :)
I had ONE shower ONLY and that was for my first child who is now 7 years old. I also have a 2 1/2 year old and another baby due in November. So there's been some distance between them all. My friends wanted to give me another shower for my second child and probably will also want to give me one for my third. I declined for my second and will also decline for my 3rd. Personally, I'm uncomfortable with it and would feel even more so if there were only 18 or so months in between. I feel it makes people feel obligated to buy me a gift. Close relatives and friend will gifve a gift anyway, even if there is no shower. This is just my personal opinion, but really you can do whatever you're comfortable with.

To answer your question...
It all depends on who you ask (As you can very well tell from the responses you've received)! Unfortunately for someone looking for a clear answer, like almost all other etiquette questions, the answer will vary based on region, age group, socioeconomic level, culture, etc of the group you are asking.
For me, the more important question would be whether or not it is considered rude to do so by my family, friends, & myself. If your family & friends want to celebrate your new baby by attending a shower & you're okay with that, who cares about someone's 5 year, same sex, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 18th child rule? IMO, I think every child should be celebrated. Whether that means a shower, a sprinkling, a Sip 'N See, BBQ, before the birth, after the birth, with men, without men, with presents or without, that's up to who's hosting it & who it is for. If it breaks someone's personal social rule on celebrating the birth of a child, they don't have to go (like your definitely rude co-worker).
Now, if you asked someone to throw you a party, told them how to do it, & asked them to pay for it...that would rude. lol (Sorry, I was just dying to answer a question based on something you didn't say.) :)
Congratulations on your new baby! Best wishes for you & your family.

Where I live, it seems to be the rule that it's inappropriate to have a second baby shower unless your children are spaced 5 + years apart and a friend offers it. I think having two baby showers in a short period of time like that is a little inappropriate...if you did have one (or someone hosted one for you) I would suggest a "no gifts, please" rule or a small limit and just have fun with it. If you have a baby under a year, chances are you still have every piece of equipment you're going to need.

However, if a friend offers to host one, why not? If they're going to be responsible for all the invitations, etc...maybe casually suggest to make it a "surprise" shower so the blame doesn't fall on you. I never got a shower for my first baby, and with my second, because I had been attending my church for a few years, the ladies (although there's a rule saying no showers for second babies) had an "unofficial" shower outside of church and it was really great and I really appreciated it because my friends and mother did nothing for my first as far as a shower, nor did I get a bridal shower.

I think you shouldn't "expect" a baby shower... but if someone throws you one... it would be rude to decline (In my opinion).

I just had my second baby, also a girl... and I told my family that I wasn't expecting to have a shower or gifts, but they were definitely appreciated. In my family, 'etiquette' is relaxed and they would rather things be clearly put than worry about guessing at my "wishes". Around here people don't want to "mind read"...

Of course I got gifts... I think every baby gets some gifts and I was so happy to get them... sent lots of thank yous. I didn't get as much as with the first baby... but that was fine, i didn't "expect" them anyways.

I found out that I was going to get a surprise baby shower... but do to some local natural weather mishaps it was cancelled at the last minute... boohoo! I didn't know about it until a few family members told me that I was "supposed to get this gift at my secret baby shower..." ohhh....oh well!

I think it is tacky (myself) to throw yourself a baby shower... no matter what baby you are having. But I think that if someone wants to throw you one- go ahead! I guess you shouldn't invite this coworker to it if you do have one!

-M.

PS: by the way... i did make a registry for this baby... It only had items on it that I didn't get with my first daughter (or things that were broken between baby #1 and baby #2) and was so that if people WANTED to get me a gift, but had no idea what I needed I could direct them to it. A few people, especially my mom... REALLY liked having it because then she could get me practical gifts... not just little outfits and diapers. I told people (when asked about gifts) that they could give me whatever they wanted but my registry was there if they didn't know what I still needed. I love registries, some people hate them... I wish every party and every holiday had a gift registry... I hate guessing what people really want! to each their own!

back to back, puh-leez! maybe your coworker is just jealous . Where are the rules at for a babyshower? People these days. I don't like ppl like that, anyway... my aunt had six children, back to back, all had babyshowers. Imagine that, at work and at home. Its beautiful having a baby shower, there is no shame. Even if you don't get to have one at work , I hope your friends or family throw you one. :) Good luck, congrats, and God bless

I have 5 children and had a shower with all of them, even my two who are 19 months apart (friends and family offered to throw showers and I didn't decline). Your co-worker was being a pain. =) And it didn't sound like you were throwing your own shower... I'd wonder the same thing if someone at work said that to me. Sometimes people get jealous and have to shove a little to make themselves feel important. Good luck and congratulations!!

It's up to whoever wants to who wants to throw you one but I see nothing wrong with it, esp if the baby is a different gender as the last child. People just need to stop being so bitchy and judgmental! lol!

For my second my friends threw me a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. I wanted very low key and it was so much fun. Just a few girls out to lunch with cake and they brought gifts. I think it is perfectly okay to have have two showers within 2 years. If you are having the same sex you can always have a diaper shower. As someone else mentioned they are for the baby anyway! Congrats on the pregnancy.

I believe it is ok to have a "Sprinkle" for the 2nd baby as long as it's a different gender.

I just hosted a "Sprinkle" for my cousin who already had a two year old boy and was expecting a girl.

My older two are only 13 mos apart and it didn't occur to me that I would have another shower thrown for me- and no one offered. My 2nd and 3rd are 21 mos apart and I really didn't want a shower for him either. But, my friends insisted, so they threw a small, informal shower for me. I didn't invite any in-laws, as they had already complained about me having a bridal shower and baby shower in the same year-my first was a honeymoon baby. Some of them didn't think I should even get a bridal shower because my husband had been married before and they had already been to his ex-wife's shower...go figure- gotta love in-laws. But to answer your question, I don't necessarily think its bad to have a shower for the second one, but some people may think its in poor taste- especially if your 2 children are the same sex.

i always heard you can have two if a) your kids are more then a year or two apart and b) if the second baby is of a differnt gender

Before I even read the other post... Yes you can. Go ahead. My girls are 13 months apart and I had a baby shower planned for my second but she came the day of, so everybody brought the gifts to the hospital. Baby showers are for the baby's not the parents. And they are to celebrate bringing a child into the world. So just because this isn't your first child, she doesnt get to be celebrated???? Wrong. Have you a baby shower, even if the sex of the baby is the same, people love buying baby stuff, I know I do... Lol

My understanding is if the baby is the same gender - it's every 5 years. If the baby is another gender - it can be done at any time.

She sounds rude, and jealous. I agree with some of the ladies here, and have the shower but just make sure everyone knows its for the neccesities.

As soon as I read it, I knew what you meant! That was rude of her and she should have not said anything in the first place.

LOL I was just reading some of the other answers and everyone just needs to relax. I got what you were saying and plus hey what if your baby is the opposite sex if you have all pink stuff then you will need all blue stuff or vise versa.. whats the big deal baby showers are fun . My kids are four yrs apart and I kept everything from my son so my daughter didnt really need anything besides a crib and clothes. So I got to register for wants and not needs ( that was really fun) The thing that ppl need to be thinking about is if its going to be a boy or girl. Not if they are going to buy a gift or not heck you can just have a diaper shower or a celebration an not an actual shower. Don't listen to the grumpy lady at work do what you want to do .

I was incharge of my second shower and I def liked my second shower better. throw it urself if you want and only invite really close friends and family.

Oh and by the way my brothers are 18 months apart an my mom had a second shower.

Showers are a celebration of life not gifts ! Do what you wanna do girl.:)