Clothing Wars!

Well, unfortunately I feel like I am an expert in this area:) I have 3 girls aged 7,6 and 4 and each one of them didi this. I am also expecting a 4th girl, so I am prepared. We do the pick out outfits the night before, but they also know that there are some things that they do not have a choice on. For instance, if I say "It is suppose to be cold out tommorow, they then know form constant discussions :) that they cannot wear short sleeve. I do really like the idea of the bundled clothes tip. So far it has worked with my older two. My youngest is very strong-willed and will sometimes try to change her mind in the morning, and will tell her that her options are still the same as last night, so that if she wants to pick somrthing out form the night before she can. Good Luck!

S.

Are you asking her "What do you want to wear?" every morning? Perhaps the question should be "Would you like to wear this outfit OR this one?" Limit her choices.

I like the suggestion of picking out (or helping her pick out) the outfit the night before and she should definitely be made aware of rules regarding the weather.

I used to pick out my stepson's clothes the night before and I would tell him that was his outfit for the next day. Eventually we both picked the outfits... then he took off on his own. I still make him wear long sleeves and pants when the temperature drops (layers, layers). He still tries to wear short sleeves only even if it's cold outside, but if I say "you need a sweatshirt on top of that" he'll go get it right away. These days he does not need a reminder... he knows it's cold and he prefers to be warm! :)

It will take some time but eventually they catch on. Stand your ground though, you may think you are harsh, but you are not.

Pick out two outfits the night before, and let her choose from those two.

In the morning, if she refuses to change, I wouldn't wrestle with her. Take her wherever you are going in her pajamas--trust me people have seen weirder things, and she probably won't pull that more than once or twice.

Also, she may have to freeze her buns off a time or two this winter if she "insists" on wearing something seasonally inappropriate. Experience is the best teacher. You can always secretly stash a warmer outfit in your bag, for her to change into.

I went through this with my son. I gave him two choices of
clothing to wear and let him pick from those.
lucky it worked.

First of all, I have to preface this advice with...I haven't dealt with many 3 year olds. I have an almost 1 year old now and can see these battles in my future! :) I have worked with school aged children and am constantly reading anything I can on child development.

Advice #1: (I read this in Parenting Mag. and LOVED the idea) Pre-assemble clothing outfits (including underwear and socks) into bundles with rubber bands or other age appropriate ways and place into the child's clothing drawers. The child then picks which bundle she wants to wear and (if possible) dresses herself. She can only choose from the pre-assembled bundles.

Advice #2: (not sure if this is age appropriate...so dismiss if it isn't)While teaching, I was trained that kids needed logical and natural consequences. If the kid leaves his bike outside, he loses using his bike for a day. If your daughter wears the clothing that makes her cold then she'll learn that she needs something warmer next time. Also, explain that because she chose to not wear warmer clothes, she will not be able to do outside activities.

Advice #3: (piggy-backed with #2) Send warmer clothes to daycare so that she can change into them when she realizes she is too cold. And maybe send a note that she can't go outside to play unless she puts on the warmer clothes.

Hope I helped. Dismiss, if I didn't!
J.

The fact that you're willing to let her wear her ballerina outfit outside of the house is enough for me to say that you are definitely NOT being too harsh.

I don't have any advice for you, since I was lucky enough for my daughter to not get her individuality in dressing until she was 5 or so. That made it easy to get her out in weather appropriate clothing.

Good luck and many laughs at her outfits in the future!

:) My youngest son and I used to have battles like this every morning. I got really tired of it REAL quick. I made him pick out what he was going to wear the night before. That way, any battle was played out the night before...without the added stress of getting out the door on time. There were a few mornings when he said he didn't like what he'd picked out and I told him that he had to wear it since he picked it. He couldn't argue that one. :) There ARE guidelines...for example, this week it's all pants and long sleeve shirts or sweatshirts. His choice, but within MY rules. It works out really well, and we don't have the battles anymore. I don't care what he wears as long as it matches (mostly) and is appropriate for the weather.

Good luck and have fun with her choosing what to wear. It's actually quite nice to not have to pick out their clothes anymore... :)

No you are not being harsh. Here's a sugguestion, try putting out clothes on her bed that she will wear the next day the night before. This works well for my little girl( who also loves pink and wants to be princess too! This way she has a chance to choose within reason what she wants to wear the next day. If things get too bad and she still wants to pick things that are not seasonally appropriate then tell her that you will put them away until the weather is nicer. Do set limits and use time out if necessary- Children this age need boundries and consistancy. Best wishes to you! Ps single mom too!

I remember reading (on mamasource) about a single dad who had clothing wars with his son and someone gave the advice to tell the child, "if you hurry to get dressed we have time to read your favorite story before we need to go", although this does not directly help the clothing issue, I thought it was great advice in having a cooperative morning since it might not be the outfit that is the true issue but her wanting to spend more time with you so she argues about what she can control... if this isn't helpful - dismiss it and sorry :-)