Kids and Letting Them Pick Out Their Own Cloths

I have 3 rules (unless it's a special occassion)

1 - It has to be age/school appropriate
2 - It has to be clean
3 - It has to be weather suitable

I think people realize if I am seen wearing a matching outfit that I had nothing to do with her outfit. My six year old has been called "today's Punky Brewster" more than once.

Let them wear what they want. As long as it's clean who cares and don't be embarrassed because it's their way of showing their individuality and being comfortable with themselves. Laugh it off and know that everyone will understand.

Good luck!

I let my almost three year year old dress herself and you should see the outfits that she comes up with. While I cringe sometimes, I don't REALLY care and the only thing I insist one is that her outfit is weather appropriate and ok to wear at daycare.
Good luck!

Oh man mama. This is a battle that is not worth fighting. My youngest, who is 5, often leaves the house looking like he picked out his clothes with his eyes shut. Red shorts with a long sleeve dynamically colored Pokeman shirt with socks to his knees and shoes. He looks a mess, but he loves it. I figure most people will know that I didn't dress him like that! I say, "Is that what you wanna wear today, son?" He says yep. I say, lets get a move on! In my humble opinion, it's just not worth the battle.
L.

Does it really matter if they match? When kids get bigger, they want to use clothing to express their personalities. You didn't think it matched, but she did and wanted to proudly wear her outfit, so why not let her? It's one thing to insist on "matching" when you're going to a party or to someplace special, but I would just let them dress themselves for regular school and play days and enjoy the wonderful quirkiness that children's outfits sometimes represent. My friend's 6 year old chose a printed t-shirt, plaid button down over that, a stocking cap and soccer shin guards to go to the movies. Instead of objecting or making the child feel like what she chose for herself and what she likes isn't good enough, she had her proudly pose for a picture and off they went. Let your girls express themselves and don't worry about what they are wearing. Good luck!

Give it up. Every time I see a kid who doesn't match I think "That mom is cool enough that she doesn't care whether her kids match or not and lets them be independent." When I see little kids who match perfectly, even coordinate with their siblings, I just think "WHOA, cut the cord mom...no one cares what your kids look like."
I couldn't care less what my kids wear. If I don't have dress them it's one less thing to get done each morning. My kids are 2.5 and 4 and they both get dressed before I get them from their rooms! It's wonderful. The only thing I fix is if it's backwards or for the wrong season.
Just let it go.

i let my daughter dress herself on mon, wed and fri.. and sat.. i got tues thurs and sunday... and if someone looked at her funny.. i would say isn't it cute .. she dressed herself today.. and they would smile..

maybe let them pick out the first item of clothing (pants or shirt) then you pick out 2-3 matching items that they can pick from...

I used to do the thing where I fold clothes together as an "outfit" but my daughter simply started pulling them apart anyway to make her own outfit... I used to stress over it too but I'm pretty sure that anyone who notices that a child's outfit is clashing will figure that the child dressed themself anyway :) Like you said, pick and choose your battles. I typically just let my daughter pick out an outfit - if it doesn't match, I'll sometimes say "well, that really doesn't match well but if you want to wear it, it's your choice" (I say it in a nice tone - when I re-read that statement, it sounds catty!) or something along those lines. What can you do? :)

Kids are kids! My 2yo son will grab his moms pink sun hat and run around the house saying, "I'm a cowboy, yee-ha!"

I wouldn't worry too much. Unless they have somewhere important to go, let wear what they want.

With my son, I've made the process easier by picking 2 or three sets of outfits and letting him choose. Sure they don't always match. but I think he (like your girls) likes to be able to make those decisions.

When my oldest was 5-6, she picked (usually dresses), and I would tell her if she put together something that didn't match, wasn't right for the weather, etc. And she didn't grumble too much about changing. Now my youngest (now 8, but clothing has been a sticky issue for years) is WAY more stubborn, and clothing is NOT worth a battle over with her. So I've learned to let go of controlling her clothes and shoe choices. I simply tell her what the weather will be, and she selects her clothes and gets dressed herself. I organize her drawers putting matching clothes near each other, hoping she will see good combinations, and choose them. Sometimes it works. It has be to HER idea, though, not my suggestion. Also, I've been known to place the less desireable pieces (old, too small, doesn't match anything but something that is already dirty, etc) underneath others, so she won't see them right away when she opens her drawer. Outa sight, outa mind.

My son goes out in some interesting outfits. I really laughed one day though when my husband was so proud of himself for putting a "matching" outfit on our son. He had on plaid shorts that were teal, brown, and white and a shirt that had the same colors but was striped! My husband was so proud that I couldn't bring myself to tell him it looked horrible.

My son also loves to pick out his own clothes, and also has some interesting ideas about what works. He's 2 1/2.
I make sure there are only seasonally appropriate clothes in his closet/drawers, then I let him pick the first article of clothing, either the top or the bottom. Based on his choice, I offer 2 or 3 of whatever is needed to complete the outfit. If he chooses navy blue pants, I offer a few shirt options that work. This has been working for us, but I do sometimes let him go out in whatever he wants, and walk a few steps behind him :)

As other have said, pre narrow her choices. But seriously, laugh it off. I love seeing kids in their own picked clothes. It's endearing. I saw a little boy who insisted to his mom on wearing his bunny costume from Halloween and cowboy boots to our music together class. It cracked me up. Pick your battles. There will be a day you'll be begging your daughters to put more clothes on, or even a jacket. (I find it hilarious when teen girls will sacrifice weather comfort for style.... I did it as a teen, but now I prefer warmth!) good luck! -- so glad I have boys! :-)

one option is to buy all solids, or something like that so you had less of a chance of clashing.

I see someone else said to narrow the choices, I have been thinking of making outfits. like this blue top can be worn with these 2 pants. and then taking photos of the clothes and maybe putting them on a ring so she could flip through it. but i haven't actually done it.

While it isn't a huge deal, i would like my kids to look nice. unless we were just staying home.

Scale down the choice...(I feel your pain and am the same way with my daughter). I still let her pick but I give her a limited supply that all matches so we are both satisfied (i.e. 3 tops and shortsor a skirt that will go with all 3). On weekends or once a week I let her have a free for all unless is it not climate appropriate.

I used to worry too about what "others" might think of my son's fashion... and now... his hairdos ( he insist on doing his own hair) which means.... kinda a spikey "mowhop" as he calls it :) it's different looking and frankly a little better than when he combed it all forward and it looked like an older gentleman with a toupee.......this at 7 yrs of age.....
i say like and let live.... kids are so funny and creative.. let them run with it..
taking pics sounds like a good idea!

I'm just happy if my daughter dresses herself without my help! hahaha She's had outfits with shirt, shorts, and socks ALL mismatched. But hey, she's dressed, lets go! :)

You don't let a 6 yr old pick from a wide variety of ANY clothes, you let them pick from the variety of clothes YOU WANT them to wear. So if YOU choose black, green and blue shorts, they have to pick from THAT selection, not from what THEY think is better - say a RED...They are not adults, they won't know what matches or what fits the weather, you do. That way you are giving them choices as well as having some control over their choices. You both win!

You should have seen some of the outfits that my daughter would walk out of the house wearing!! I also wanted to wear a sign saying "my daughter dressed herself" but I think/hope by looking at her they already could figure that out themselves! My daughter is EXTREMELY stubborn so I found that was a battle that I didn't need to fight.

Good luck!

I didn't get a chance to read all of the responses to this, so I apologize if I am repeating. One of my friends will put the outfits together - pants, shirt, underwear, socks - put an elastic band around them, and put them in the drawers. This way, the kids don't look totally insane but still have the ability to make the choice of what outfit they are going to wear. I like that idea.

I am like you, it would really bother me if they weren't matching. I suppose I am going to have to get over that! My kiddos are only 2 and 8 months, so we aren't there yet!

LOL, this reminds me of a time years ago when I was at the mall. I saw this guy, young around 20 or so. He was wearing ALL red. From head to toe. The problem was.... it was all different shades of red. LOL, some faded some brand new .... He looked ridiculous. But he thought he looked so good! He was struttin his stuff let me tell you. ha-ha! My first thought was he must not have a woman! I guess men & kids are kinda the same when it comes to matching. Hey, it's red and red right? LOL must match.

LOL you can actually put that sign on her. I am sure people just assume she dresses herself, or maybe her daddy did it LOL. I let me LO dress herself too: okay she is 20 mo and what I do is put out two outfits and tell her to pick one and she does. She feels all special aobut it and does not fight me on getting dressed as much since then. Maybe you can put out two outfits and have her pick one? that way they are not only weather approp. but match? love that you know to pick your battles, great job momma!

I once let my niece dress herself and she came out wearing a tigger outfit, pink rain boots, and a sun visor. We went to a really "high-class" grocery store too. Eh, who cares, lol every kid that passed her begged their parents to dress up. HEHEHEH. But I did see on an episode of nanny 911 or something like that, she told the mom to let the girls choose between 2 outfits that the mom had already put together on hangers (so they matched). Maybe that would work for you. =)

I know I'll have this same problem soon enough with my little one. haha.

My mom always picked out a few outfits and then let us pick out from there. That way it was a win win until we got older. LOL.

I have a sorter in my daughters closet. Its just a series of fabric shelves. We seperate her outfits out for the week in that. If she picks something that matches, great! If not, we find something that works. No more arguements because everything for the week is planned on Sunday evening.

i absolutely let my daughter pick her clothes, but i make her change a few times before she can go out in public, lol

Usually she will just pick things that are the same color, and when i suggest complimentary color schemes she will tell ME it doesnt match.

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save the battle for big events. I'd let them go mis-matched.

The other way to do it if you can't live with that is to let her pick the shorts, then hold up 2 shirts she can choose from.

My dear sweet daughter is almost 16, but when she was little we allowed her to be a 'fashion question' when she didn't want to be a 'fashion statement'.
Pick your battles. Your not the one who will get funny looks at school, IF there are even funny looks!

I pick out two or three outfits for my daughter and let her pick which one to wear. She's younger so it might be a little easier for me. I'm hoping that if we start with this, it will be easy to continue when she is older.

Don't worry you probably don't need the sign...most other moms can tell when a child dressed themselves. It does not reflect on moms fashion sense at all! hehehe

I will usually say once "That does not really match", and than I leave it up to my boys (5 and 6) on whether they want to change or stand by their choice. The only time I hold my ground is if they are not dressed right for the weather or the activity of the day (they always want to wear sweat pants).

Oh I remember the days...I have 3 girls. When they were little, we would pick things out the night before. I would try to allow 2 choices...both acceptable to me. Then they felt as though they had really picked it out themselves. Didn't work so well when they got to be 5 and 6ish. When you are out and about, check out other little girls their age...I bet they have on a princess dress, a tutu over jeans with a flowered shirt and red shoes! You could try the "garanimal tags" . That would be putting the same tags or marking the inside with a permanent marker, on things that match eachother. On the other hand letting them express themselves through their clothes is fun and safe. If they go out dressed like this...everyone will know it wasn't you LOL!! Have fun

Why do they have to match at all?

I have to say you sound like my 60 year old mother about the matching oh my what are we. Your gonna say that you remmeber when you was a kid and got dressed and things didn't match. Wait no you was like me you got dressed had your own style and your mom complained and made you go change so you couldn't express yourself the way you wanted to. This is the way I look at it your child was right she did match she had on a solid pink shirt with a tinker bell on it with a little purple with a pink and purple flowered design on a white short is what you described so tell me why she had to change? she had pink flowers with a solid pink shirt she had some purple on her shirt and purple flowers on her shorts so if the shirt was solid with tinker bell on it why can't you wear a solid shirt color with a flower shorts. What does she have a matching flowered shirt to go with the shorts with the same pattern. Now when it comes to the plaid with the strips I have to say the style is in for plaid shorts with a striped polo shirt for the boys my son picked that outfit out for easter last year it was on a manican at jc penny. Its the style now a days. Your kids need to express themselves. Yes you are the mother you have the right to say to them that outfit is something do you know how i would have done and show them this is what i would wear. But thats all you can do. Unless your gonna go ahead and pick there outfits out everyday till they get married.