I used to find cleaning my house very rewarding before kids. I dedicated one whole day to the task and celebrated by lighting a scented candle and basking in a home that was clean all at once by the sweat of my brow. Now with kids nothing is clean all at once. At best I clean a few hours here and there. Detail kitchen cleanings depress me the most because i know that for all the effort invested it will not last. And when I take on a special project, like cleaning out the refrigerator or washing windows, instead of feeling good about myself, I feel like its time I'll never get back. The joy of it and basking in the fruits of my labor are over. The joy of keeping house is gone for me. Will it return when my kids are gone?
I should add that I've had house keepers on and off. I like them very much so I don't have to do it. its not the same as the great feeing I used to have doing it myself, but kids have interfered with my ability to enjoy house work, it is the next best thing. If only I could find one that didn't flake so bad. But thats another issue all together.
I agree with the one who said its the futility of it all. Nothing stays clean long enough to make the effort feel worth while. An no I never loved housework, nor could I have considered myself clean and tidy, but I did it and took reward in the completed job even if I didn't love the whole process.
Drudgery. Dread it. Hate it. I work full-time and I have waaaay better things to do with my time on the weekends. Oh, like grocery shopping, laundry, errands and hanging out with my family.
I just hired a housekeeper. And now I'm free.
I always hated cleaning and now I hate it even more because it's futile. I'm now learning it wasn't so bad back then after all. My kids left for a whole week once, and it blew my mind how the house just "stayed clean" while they were gone. So yes, it will be better when they're gone.
Drudgery. More accurately, the bane of my freaking existence. I have never been a good housekeeper. I am creative, an artist. My brain is not organized. I don't feel at home my house is organized. Obviously, I know I need a house that is clean. So, I do it. I just HATE doing it. Always have, can't see that I will never not hate it.
Cleaning house has ALWAYS been drudgery for me LOL Kids just made it more so LOL
I waaaaaaaay prefer cleaning WITH kids.
But then, I put kids to work at age 2.
We crank up music, dance, and bust it out. It takes longer for the first year or two, then starts cutting it down to squat. With 5 kids in the house (cousins), we could "better homes and gardens" in 2-3 hours. By myself? That 2-3 DAYS. With just my son, we can sparkle in about 5 hours. But our daily chores for "company ready" take about 30 minutes.
Cleaning alone is boring and awful.
Sure it "stays" clean.
But I'll take spring loaded mess with kids... Over boring and drudgery ANY day of the week!
The house will stay cleaner longer, for sure. But you'll realize then that having a clean house is not all that and you'd rather have the hussle and bustle of a house with children (and messes)!
Enjoy it while you have it and don't worry about the house. It and the messes will still be there when the kids are gone!
The joy of keeping house? I never experienced this so I didn't miss it once the kids came along.
I have never enjoyed cleaning the house, but I do enjoy the clean house after all the work. I just wish it didn't take all the effort!
I completely agree with your ideas on the Kitchen efforts! Probably my least favorite simply because I know it will just become a disaster again in a few short hours. Usually, the evening after the kitchen is DEEP cleaned, we go out to eat! :-P
I used to not mind laundry, because it gave me an excuse to watch TV while I folded...however, the baskets make it into the living room and can sit for days before i have a spare moment even to do those!
I hope the joy of cleaning returns for you when your kids are gone, but that might be a few years down the road! :-)
I never liked cleaning house I like it even less now. With a small house and three males I know that it will just get dirty within 24 hours so why put forth much effort on it. I just get my 14 year old to do the stuff that has to be maintained. And my 10 year old helps with some of it.
I'm the complete opposite. I used to find it to be drudgery. Now? I find it very rewarding. Why? Because now, with 2 kids and 3 dogs, anytime I can actually get something clean for more than 10 minutes is a huge victory. Very rewarding!
Even more rewarding is when I can get the kids to HELP with the cleaning. Seems to last a little longer that way too.
Wow, i just read some other responses and MrsLavallie - I really did not copy you!
I totally hear you!
Have you tried a larger cleaning service? That's what has worked best for us. If one employee flakes or calls in sick they always have a replacement on deck. You do have to give up personalized service, but it's a compromise I have been willing to make.
I enjoy a clean house. I do not mind cleaning. I get satisfaction in doing a good job, but am not upset if its quickly undone. By way of analogy, I'm not going to give up eating just because I'll soon be hungry again. Feelings haven't changed since having DS
Good luck to reclaiming that joy.
F. B.
I still enjoy cleaning, but some days it is pure drudgery. I hate picking messes up. I like cleaning, seeing a dirty floor sparkle, but the constant repitition of cleaning up the same thing over and over again really gets to me.
I have very fond memories of pre-kid cleaning days. I too had a ritual of sorts, and I really enjoyed it.
Boy oh boy, you said it. So true.
I used to love cleaning because it stayed clean and didn't take me 3 hours
at a time.
Now, I am the only one that cleans w/4 ppl making the mess and it's
clean no longer than 30 mins at a time.
Oh well, it means I have a well lived in house filled with life & love. Little
hands & little inquiring minds.
I no longer sit back on my haunches to view my job well done that it is all wrecked again. C'est la vie! All in a day's work. Hard work.
A coworker says there is a 5 second rule with kids. Within 5 seconds after you clean, it is dirty. I agree.
I get satisfaction when I can do MY version of cleaning. This involves a real cleaning including moving furniture out of the way to get the toys and other stuff that is where it should not be. Steam mopping, wiping anything off the wall, dusting the corners of the ceiling. Unfortunately, it does not last. My kids think cleaning/vacuuming means going around things.
Yesterday, I walked into a living room with cereal on the floor, cups and bowls on the tv stand and floor (thankfully empty), books and toys everywhere. I kept walking to my room becuase I don't feel good this week. I did not step into the living room again until late last night.
I was literally just talking to someone about this five minutes ago. I was saying how when I was single I loved cleaning my house because I knew it would stay that way until I messed it up. I too would light candles and just bask in the clean.
The other day, I cleaned my whole house while the boys were out and even rearranged some furniture. The pillows were on the sofa and chairs, not on the floor like I knew they would be 5 minutes after my son arrived. So, I took a picture and posted it on Facebook for posterity. I'm not sure if I was trying to prove to others or myself that our house is actually clean once in awhile.
Not one day later, there was some sort of sticky goo on my coffee table and the pillows were strewn about. sigh.
I think I am the opposite of you. ;)
Before I had kids, although my house was relatively clean, I really could've cared less...because it was just for me.
Now that I have children, I find it very rewarding to have a clean and neat house, because I am doing it for someone besides myself!
My only suggestion would be to find some way to enjoy the housework itself...I like to dance while I'm doing it. I also like to make a long list of every little detail I want to accomplish in cleaning (dust the living, dust the bedroom, dust the...etc, you get it) and I get a bit of joy in marking each thing off. Maybe a little retentive, but it seems to make it more rewarding.
I never really enjoyed cleaning, but at least BC it stayed clean for a while and I had some control over whether or not it stayed that way. Now, it's just drudgery. A thankless task that I have to keep repeating and repeating again and again. No sense of accomplishment because it's never really accomplished. Now, I clean when it needs it - whatever is bothering me most gets attention and tomorrow is always another day.
Drudgery. Feels like an endless, unappreciated chore. I don't mind straightening up, but "cleaning" is what I dislike most about being an adult. I'm with those who say it never stays clean enough to make it worth the effort. That said, I try my best when I can because I can't stand dirty floors! Yuck! I love the feeling of having everything clean, but it only lasts until the next spill. Sigh. :)
For me the joy came back to me when we bought our new home and to save pennies I got rid of the cleaning lady and began cleaning our home on my own. I took such pride in the thought of taking care of my family and yes, lit and candle after I was done and even poured myself a glass of wine and sat in my glory.....well, 3 years later the housework became overwhelming and the thought of cleaning was too....in comes the cleaning lady. Now I light a candle and pour a glass of wine after work on the day she comes and enjoy my clean home but with the understanding that it is still about caring for my family and giving them a nice environment. More importantly, a sane mom that can make it to the events, cook dinner, helo with homework and enjoy family time.
All in all, it may come back but it might be short lived...or it might not...I guess it depends on the household.
Some of the joy will come back! Oh my goodness, I have a room that I put pretty stuff in and clothes are not over all the floor and it smells gooood!
It has a pretty bedspread and it stays made! Ok, I had boys.
But the joy of a rumbling household humming because germs are banished and you can find things and the laundry is done, well that's a different kind of joy. Fleeting moments of homemade bless!
The same things get dusty and silightly dirty. Who cares.
