Christmas Ideas Other than Lots of Presents

Hi H.! Try the website www.changingthepresent.org
It is a great place to make donations in other people's names. Anything from buying a bucket to feed abused horses to buying a pair of shoes for a child in need. Gifts start at $1.00 so it is great for kids to participate in, too. Good luck and let me know what you decide to do!

We have a large family with lots of kids so this is what we do. On Thanksgiving we have an adult secret santa and a kids version. When kids see adults drawing, they want to get in on it too. We start at about 17 and over is in the adult drawing and 16 and under is in on the kids version. Babies under 2 or 3 do not get in and is optional. All of it is optional because there are times when not everyone can get involved for financial reasons. We do Christmas eve and wait all night to open the gifts, so we have games going on and we let the kids know that the games are just for fun, so there will be no prize winning because they will get gifts later. One yr. we did do small prizes, but it tends to add up and end up dipping into spending more at xmas. So for fun works better. We also put a portable heater in a decorated garage and have lots of arts and crafts in there to keep them busy thru the night and the kids just love it. Everyone signs up for a desert or appetizer, not both along with the potluck dinner.

In my family we choose names from a hat and buy for just one. We do socks for everyone which gives us lots to open and we stuff the socks from the dollar store. Then we eat a huge meal, and play games all day. It's about the company more than anything.

Last Christmas, Santa asked my boys to help him spread Christmas cheer to those less fortunate than they are. He gave them each $25 gift certificates for http://www.markmakers.org/
This is a great website where kids can donate to all different kinds of charities. They can give $1 to many different charities or they can give all their money to one charity. However they want to split it up is fine.
The charities are split up into categories like "helping animals", "the environment", "world peace", "medical
assistance", etc.

Also, my parents gave a large donation in our family's name to the Heiffer Project. Instead of buying all their kids and grandkids expensive presents, they bought a farm (or several animals - I'm not sure how much they spent) for a family/village in a third world country. They gave the younger grandkids small plastic farm animals to represent the real animals they were providing to those in need. My son was just as happy with inexpensive animals to play with as with the larger, more expensive gifts he could have received from them.

You could adopt a family. Our church does this for lots of families every year. You get information on a family that is having a tough time with ages and gender etc and then you provide gifts for each person. Getting involved in toys for tots is also a good thing you can participate in during the holidays. Good for you and your family for thinking beyond materialism and what a great example you are setting for your children.

My immediate family (mom, brothers & husband) and I stopped buying gifts for our cousins, aunts & uncles, and asked them to not buy for us. We only bought for each other but we did Secret Santa (aka Kris Kringle). We decided that since it's one gift, to make it extra special and spend $50 on that one person. This is not that expensive considering we would spend HUNDREDS of dollars on Christmas presents. We also bought a little something for the kids in our immediate family, meaning my two nieces. Now that I'm adding a third grandchild for my mom, she will only buy gifts for the grandchildren. So my brothers, husband and I will be the only ones exchanging via Secret Santa. Not bad!

My family just buys for the kids and the adults play The Gift Game.

The Gift Game is where every adult sits in a circle and draws names to see who will go first. Everyone buys one gift, usually limited to $25 and wraps that gift and puts it under the tree. When it is your turn you can either choose a wrapped gift or steal an already opened gift from someone else. A gift can be stolen 3 times and on the third time cannot be stolen anymore. It is a lot of fun. Gifts are usually something anyone could use. The guys usually buy Maglite flashlights, socket sets, etc. usually something they hope to win back. Women buy bath towels, small portable heaters etc.

My husbands family donates to a local woman who works with the homeless. We buy socks etc for her to distribute. My son and his friends, supervised by the moms of course, sell baked goods and recycle during the fall and at CHristmas time, buy gifts for the homeless kids.

Hi H.,
What a nice request to read! Our family is in a similar situation and recently we've given donations to various organizations in a family's name. For example, my husband and I might make a donation to an organization in the name of his uncle's family or my sister's family, etc.. This solves both problems of giving "stuff" and of giving one item to each individual. The organizations we give to provide a card for the family to open on Christmas Day. Our gifts have been really well received and loved by all.
We have donated to both Seva Foundation, who vital health services to impoverished locations mainly in Asia, and Heifer Project who give animals to impoverished individuals and villages so they can become more self-sustaining.
Seva Foundation: http://www.seva.org/site/PageServer
Heifer Project: http://www.heifer.org/

Happy Holidays!
A.

H.,

Those are wonderful ideas. You could also do a coat drive for the One Warm Coat program that happens annually. Go through your closets, make fliers and pass them out in your neighborhood, get family involved too! You can schedule a collection date, and then all go down to a drop off site! In our family we do annual Holiday baking that we share with family,friends, neighbors, and community workers(fire men,Police, etc. It's VERY family oriented,it's great fun, and it blesses so many people. We all have plenty of things, I'd rather have a nice cup of white hot chocolate, a cookie that reminds me of my grandma(who's gone now) and the love of others any day...

I hope this helps you.

A little about me:

I am happily married to my best friend and stay at home mama to 4 incredible boys ages 9,6, and twins that are 4.

We only buy for the kids in my family. We also ask that people restrict themselves to one present for each kid.There are several people in our family who tend to WAY overdo it, and after years of bringing home too many gifts, and deciding what to do with it all, we've finally tried these last couple of years to get everyone to be more sensible. Kids don't need LOTS of gifts, especially if the few they get are well thought out. We've not had much luck in asking people not to give gifts, especially b/c they want to feel like they're doing something for the little ones. In turn, we accept them, but also make it a point to go through the kids stuff and donate each year all the unused, old toys. My kids are used to this and really get on board with decluttering their stuff.( I never force them to get rid of anything they don't want to.)
Hope you get some good ideas!

I can give you one great idea. I am a missionary working with orphan children in Budapest Hungary and we do Christmas here in as big a way as we have funds for. WE do gifts, Christmas Care packages for families and those who have moved out of the orphanage but are actually less mature than your average teen moving out, etc. We also do craft programs where we order when we can from Oriental trading company different craft packages and sit down with both orphans and village children.

We could use all the help we can get and so if you want to take up a little offering or even send things(which is pricey unfortunately) you can email me and I will tell you where to send things or funds!! Just giving a possibility.

P.

Greetings! Well I always want to buy for more members in my family than I can actually afford. We had a family reunion earlier this year and I took lots of pictures. I learned how to put a slideshow using Roxio software ( although I think you can also use Windows). So the slideshow is using all the family reunion photos with the a moving song in the background. I am going to make one for every family for Christmas.

You can also go to www.onceuponafamily.com and get some good ideas for special family traditions that will be very meaningful.

Have a Merry Christmas!

My family was going through the same thing. We put a limit of one present per child under the age of 18. This year, I am going to ask my family to put $$$ in a savings account we set up for my daughter's college fund instead of buying things.
For the adults, at Thanksgiving we drew names and our rule is that the present must be hand made or under $20.00. This was so much fun last year, we baked pies, decorated picture frames, I knitted scarves. The presents had a lot of meaning and did not cost a lot.

Draw names for Secret Santa on Thanksgiving. A great/fun idea is to do something for the last 12 days before Christmas and then announce everyone's secret santa Christmas day. Mail cards, letters, maybe drop off a small gift such as a home-made blanket, (the flannel kind that you tie the edges of...you can make pillows that way too) maybe a stationary kit, or a glass jar with the dry ingredients for cookies or a loaf of sweat bread, coloring book and crayons (even for adults)...your imagination is the limit! Good luck...I hope you have fun with it!

Oh...I almost forgot...For the last few years we have been exchanging HOME MADE tree ornaments. We bring them in a gift bag and there is NO tag on the bag, so nobody knows who made it till they open it. We go from youngest to oldest or vice versa and each person picks from the selection of bags. You could also separate the kids ornaments from the adults. We have had some wonderful ornaments exchanged and it makes the tree more personal and full of love!!!! (Lots of memories to share for years to come!) You can buy porcelin ornaments to paint yourself, or put a family picture inside a glass bulb ornament, or completely design your own...my husband is a welder, so he and our son made one out of metal, my cousin is a mechanic and made an ornament out of a spark plug...can't even explain that one, but it was awesome! Hope your Holiday is Bright and Cheery with lots of new ideas!!!
M....

Several families I know put everyone's name in a hat (adults only I think) and each person draws a name. If you have lots of "families" in the extended family you could each draw a family. I have also considered this year speaking with our local CASA and adopting a family for Christmas. You could talk to your family about everyone adopting a family together instead of getting each other gifts. Another thought is instead of giving each other stuff, you could gift each other "services". Everyone has some talent or ability that someone else could really use :).

Hope these help! I'm totally with you on the making Christmas a little more about what it's really about and not so much about the millions of mostly useless gifts we give each other.

H.,

What about donate a tree in their honor-- there are a lot of environmental sites where you can purchase a tree and they will go and plant it in the forest in someone's honor. I got one as a wedding gift and I will never forget it! Also, giving gifts by dividing the age groups and they give to eachother works really well for us.

Molly

One year we did something really fun. We all picked names out of the hat and did a Secret Santa and the Secret Santa Name pull had a wish list on it with things that they wanted in different categories and price ranges.
We also asked everyone to bring a "fun" or Joke White Elephant Gift with a $20.00 limit and we also did the White Elepant thing at the end and it was so fun because there was a mixture of joke gifts and good gifts and it was soo funny.
One thing though, even though the kids were involved my son's Uncles cheated and still bought him extra presents-smile. We did seriously cut down though, we would spend at least $500 + every year and we always said that we were going to cut down because it was getting ridiculus. Have Fun!!!!

buy US treasury bonds for the teens and grown ups...
you can get face value ( maturity) of say $ 50
but you bought it for about 35....
Other amounts are available.
They just have to wait a few years to cash-in..

Quite sometime ago, my parents agreed w/ their siblings to only do presents for the kids 18 and under and to skip the parents. My brother and I started doing this a few years ago and it's been great. My husband's side isn't so easy. Every year they have a debate about drawing names out of a hat and you give a gift to that person only. This "draw" is for all the cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, siblings, etc. What my husband I find funny is that we will participate and inevitably pick an aunt or uncle whom we wouldn't have bought a gift for anyways. Then we go out and buy gifts for my husband's parents, sister and her kids! My mom and aunt sometimes do donations in honor of a family member w/ the Heifer Project. It's pretty cool b/c you could be buying 6 chicks for a kid and 3 bunnies for another kid that will be donated to a family in need. Another idea is to bake with your kids and give cookies, breads and what not to family. I know that may seem a little funky when you're giving say a nice gift worth about $50 and in exchange your giving banana bread! I'd say discuss it w/ the family in advance and instead of putting the focus on the financial strain it puts on yourself and others, emphasize we've all got plenty. Best of luck and happy holidays!

I come from a large family that gets together every Christmas and we were running into the same issue. However, there was resistance from some quarters to eliminating presents. We finally instituted a name draw for the adults. You can opt out and not get any presents or put your name in up to 2 times or put your names in as a couple. Our loose money limit for a present is $70. The kids usually join the name draw when they are teens.

The kids still get presents, but we encourage the adults to join together to buy them presents so there aren't so many.

It has worked well, except for the younger kids who make their presents. My kids are 6 & 8 and so far they have at least been able to make one present each for a family.

Hi H.,

In my family (both my husband's side and my side) we "draw" names. Usually we only draw one or two names. Basically, put everyones name on a list, or in a hat, and at random pick names. That way, each person only buys for one or two people and everyone still recieves gifts. Usually, we'll all buy little gifts for all the kids (nieces, nephews and whoever) along with our drawn names. It works out great for us! We went from spending about $1,200 dollars to spending only a few hundred at Christmas time. Everyone likes this way much better. Plus, when you are only buying for one or two people you can spend a little bit more on each gift, but spend less money over all.

Hope this helps.

B.

My sister did something that was memorable for each of us. She selected a family whose need was great that was similar in structure to ours. She then gifted each one in honor of each of us. She wrote a letter that she shared with us at Christmas that told us about each member of that family and what gift they got, e.g., a soccer ball for the 7-year-old sports lover, some teenage girly stuff for the 13-year girl, the ingredients for a full holiday feast, etc. Needless to say, it was incredibly meaningful to each of us to know that a family that wouldn't have had the means to celebrate was able to join hands around a full table and watch their children open gifts. (We always select these projects on the Feast of Saint Nicholas earlier in December - it takes the focus off of "St. Nick" as fulfilling OUR every wish, but rather the example of giving of the original Saint is something in which we have the opportunity to participate.) Have a blessed Christmas!

I haven't read any of the other posts so hopefully this doesn't overlap.

In my family we use to draw names and get a family gift of no more than $50. But we have decided that with every one having more kids it is difficult to do a family gift and have it be good for all age groups. Ever since we were little though my mom would make home made Christmas ornaments and we would send them to family and friends. We have continued that tradition amoung us kids and now we are all very content just to get a Christmas ornament from our brothers and sisters. I also make one for the neices and nephews so that they will have a collection of family ornaments when they move out of the house. I love telling my kids the story behind each home made ornament we hang on the tree and they love hearing it. They have also gotten involved in the ornament making process as well. We have a blast.

Another idea I got from a friend has to do with the book "Christmas Jars". My friend's mom bought all her kids the book and a jar. The first year they did it together as one big family and then they were given their own jar. So now they save up all year long and then the week of Christmas they go looking for a family to give it to.

H.,
When I was young my brother and I made pot holders out of white fabric that we "painted" with designs and such. My mom then sewed them up and we gave them away to family and our teachers at school. I was in elementary school at the time and to this day (over 20 years later) my parents still run into my old teachers and they still have that pot holder.

Hi H.,
Our family went through this a few years ago. We decided to start having the kids in the family draw names and they picked out a gift for that child for $15. That way we were only buying the amount of gifts as we had kids and not buying a bunch of gifts for people. Then we also started adopting a family through our local CPS (child protective services) and buying clothes & toys for that family. We get normally a mom with 2 kids and then take our kids shopping to help out a less fortunate family. Our kids love it and it makes them see that there are less fortunate families out there too. Good luck!!

My husbands family is quite large and growing all the time. Each labor day at a Family Day we each draw a name to find out who we are giving a gift for this year. So in a famiy of 40+ we each by a gift(s)for one person. Christmas cards (many with photos of growing kids) are still given per family and of course Grandma still gets a gift from all but it does help with the financial strain of the times. Also it is fun to see who we get this year.

Hi H.,

You could adopt a family - google adopt a family and you'll find out how to sign up - with this, your family would provide everything for the holidays for a family who can't afford to themselves - from the dinner to gifts for the mom, dad and kids. Another idea is to donate to foreign countries - I have a friend who bought a pig for a tribe in Africa - that will feed the entire tribe for weeks - and then she sent the information about it in the Christmas cards to people she usually gets gifts for and said instead of a gift this year, I donated ____ in your name and your gift fed ____ number of families for ____ this much time. Pretty cool. Also, their is something called blessings in a backpack - feeds underpriviliedged kids who take part in the subsidized school lunch program on the weekends - at any rate, you get the idea. You could donate the amount of money you usually spend on gifts (or whatever amount is in your budget) and put a little notecard in everyone's Christmas card describing the event.
Good for you!

Donate to a children's home... in the name of several people or everyone!

We draw names each Thanksgiving - everyone over 18 is included(one for his side, one for my side). We only buy gifts for kids under 18.

I'd love to do the charitable gift (purchase an animal for a 3rd world family, adopt a CPS family, etc., but in our extended family it wouldn't be a popular idea). My immediate family always does several Giving Tree purchases; usually one of our work places participates in that project. From the time they were in gradeschool, it's been a high point in my kids' holidays to shop for kids less fortunate.

Wow SO MANY IDEAS here! But one I didn't see was the one our family started a few years back.

We write a "Christmas Memory Letter" where each one of us write about a family memory (not christmas related, just anything we remember from childhood) and then we send the letter to each member of the family. Usually printed up on nice paper and the idea is to put it all together and then we have the stories of our childhood, or an alternate version of some event we remember differently. The youngest gets to hear about what the oldest did when he was young, etc.

We all LOVE this, however it is only working so-so because we are a family of mostly procrastinators :-/ But we really do love this and this is a meaningful gift that costs next to nothing (just the paper it's printed on and the postage)

I also love the memories we've had of when we would plan gifts for a family and then do a secret santa "knock and run" on Christmas eve.

Another idea I think would be meaningful is to volunteer some time in a soup kitchen or host dinner for people away from family. I also have warm memories of having had people share our table on Christmas (more often Thanksgiving as we would have college students who couldn't/didn't go home for the wknd)

Just driving around one evening singing carols in the car and looking at Christmas lights is nice too!

A friend of mine has an inexpensive gift. She is one of 9 kids and there are well over 25 grandkids plus spouses. She makes a calendar with each person's picture on their birthday month and their name and age listed on the calendar. She has been doing it for years and everyone looks forward to their calendar.

Quite a few non profits do 'gifts of hope' where you donate useful things to communities in need (e.g. a goat, school books, school dinners - really long list). I like good gifts (www.goodgifts.org) but they are a UK company so probably not ideal for over here (but give you an iead). I think Oxfam do the same, Plan International, probably lots of others now.

I'm also going to ask family to donate towards his activities for next year, e.g. $10 towards swim lessons, music class etc.

E.

Have all your family members put their name in a hat Secret Santa style along with notes on ideas for a small gift they really want, a book they would like to read, movie/food gift certificates or a charity to donate to in their name (decide on a $$ limit ahead of time). That way there is only one present to buy and everyone gets what they really want instead of many small unwanted gifts.

For the kids, you could have the parents let each other know one item that their child REALLY wants and what store has the best deal on the item and each family give each child a $5 gift card towards the item. If you have a large number of children in the family have each family choose 2-4 (depending on what everyone can afford) and give a gift card. Kids love being able to go to the store and purchase things they choose.

You could also have an ornament/decoration exchange among the adults or you could suggest having a "necessities" gift exchange...again drawing only one name from a hat. Last year I asked my mom for new sheets for my Birthday...she thought I was crazy, but I have been married for 15 years and REALLY needed new sheets, but was loathe to spend money on sheets when there are SO many other things our family needs. It is SO nice to receive a necessity item that you don't want to purchase yourself.

Do a photo exchange. Have each family bring several copies of their favorite family snapshot or two from the year and a multi photo frame of their choice to put them in. Exchange photos, have the ladies drink coffee/tea while putting all the photos in their frames and the guys can watch football or whatever it is they like to do. Update the frames each year with new photos. It is SO nice to have photos of your relatives and get them all into a frame for display.

Or you can all vote on one charity or perhaps "adopt a less fortunate family and donate gifts or a decided upon minimum amount each for that wonderful philanthropic feeling. Then get together for family time, games and food.

The Holidays are WAY too stressful! I love Thanksgiving because it is all about fun family time together, food and being thankful for what we have. Enjoy your holidays!

I had a very wealthy but beloved great aunt when I was young, and one year she gave everyone a card acknowledging a gift of Christmas Dinner to a family in need in the card recipient's honor. At first I was a little mystified, I was young and it was unusual, but when I understood the meaning of it I have to say it made me feel really good. I remember that gift more vividly than almost any ever, even the Donnie and Marie "guitar" I dearly loved. I think it's a great way to really share the genuine spirit of Christmas. I think it also requires a family that really does have what it needs. We were middle class, we didn't need extra sweaters and such, so this was a very special gift. You could do this for each branch of your family but also offer a Secret Santa so people get a little something to take home too, for sentimental reasons.

My side of the family decided to forgo large gifts a few years ago for the same reason. We decided that we would pool whatever money we would have spent on gifts for each other. Then, each family would offer up a family in need that they know of, or an angel tree child from their church, or some other type of charity & of the 3 or 4 to choose from, we would all choose 1 family or charity to give the money to.

Another option is if there is a financial hardship at the time Christmas rolls around in one of our own families. Like, one year my brother & his wife had to replace their air conditioning unit & it put a significant strain on them financially, so we all chipped in to help ease some of the costs.

There are many things you can do besides give gifts & I think it's a great time in your children's lives to exhibit different forms of charity. Doing this has also helped me think more specifically during a family member's birthday about something they really enjoy & will appreciate rather than just another gift to throw at them several times a year.

I absolutely love Christmas. I believe there are plenty of people who are generous all the time, but Christmas is the time when you see so many people going out of their way to be kind and giving. One tradition my immediate family had when I was growing up was the giving tree. There was a time in my earliest years my family was the recipients of church food/clothes donations. So when things improved it was important for my parents to teach us to give back. we would go to the giving tree at the mall pick a child's wish off the tree and then our parents would take us shopping to find that perfect gift. It meant so much to me I do the same every year, and hope my kids learn to love the meaning of Christmas in the same way I did.
Another thing I started with my extended family this last year (got the idea from a magazine article) was to make donations in their name to charities that mean something to them. We all agreed in advance to do this, and it felt great on Christmas morning to see that I didn't get another candle set I don't need but that a need that was important to me was helped. It was also a lot of fun to find something important to a family member and see their excitement at what I had done in their name.

Our family always does the "unisex gift exchange game"- where we bring one gift (or gift card) with the specified amount and we draw #s and the stealing of the gifts begins. Everyone ends up with "something"- but, it's more the fun of "stealing" and playing with everyone that makes it special.

Hi H.,
When I was young, all the cousins drew names at Thanksgiving for a secret cousin at Christmas. We would buy that cousin a gift that year. We loved the mystery and suspense! Adults could do this also! N.

Hi H.,
I too have a large family and things we have done in the past is only buy for the kids, draw names between the adults, and give baked goods to families. One thing we did last year was instead of exchanging gifts we did the shoebox christmas, where each person in the family made a shoe box for either a boy or a girl within three different age groups and then we gave the shoeboxes to kids at a local women's shelter. There were over 40 shoeboxes and it was great to see the shelter's staff faces when my son and I delivered them. I am sure the kids were so surprised and happy on christmas morning. It was also a lot of fun for the families to buy for the shoeboxes. Good luck!

Hi H.,

I have a large family too. We end up picking names so that each person only buys for one other person. The kids pick a kid's name and the adults the same. This does ease the financial burden and then we also put a price limit on the gifts for the kids. (The kids can then use their own money and really put some thought into it.)

My husband and I also have the kids do a secret santa for someone they don't know. I find out from church or from the school about a child their age that could use an extra present. Sometimes I get the name and sometimes I just get a age and gender. Then, we either doorbell ditch or give it to the person who gave me the information to give to the child. You can also take toys to any fire station and they give them to Toys for Tots. I have taken a preschool class there and we gave gifts and got to tour the fire station.

Last idea is that you can tell your kids that every gift given has to be made by hand. I have heard of a family that did this. They said that it was more meaningful because everyone had to work on a project for their family members and everyone put real thought into it. Of course supplies for the project were purchased but the finish product was made.

I hope this helps. BTW we always find that the anonymous gifts were the best. Knowing that you helped or cheered someone without thanks or payment is the best.

D.

Back east we used to deliver presents to the needy on christmas morning through a program called the Artic League, we did this in Lieu of giving presents to everyone. And the weeks before christmas we would go and assemble the packages for the families to be delivered christmas morning. An not sure if there is a program like this around here or not since I have only lived here for about a year and a half. Was a really rewarding sensation.

The first year after I was married, when we had tons of in-laws who didn't know each other well descend on us, we all drew names and bought for each other with a $20 cap. That worked really well.

I love where you're going with this and I wish my extended family would get on board with this. I think a day trip all together would be so much fun. It doesn't have to be a huge vacation or cruise or Disneyland thing... (we can all dream!) but just something semi-local to a point of interest and spend the day/afternoon together seeing the sights, touring, hiking, learning and experiencing something new together as a family. Ideally something in nature, not a shopping mall.
That's my idea!
Secret santas are good too but my in laws stopped that because the family got too big even for that!! lol.
you could also create a video of the whole family singing carols. that would be funny!

My friends have a big family and they do the secret santa thing. They each have one person they buy for and they have a certain amount of money they're supposed to spend. Each person also gives a couple ideas to their gift buyer. This way everybody gets something they really want or need and everybody doesn't have to go into debt!

As you probably already know, you can't get grandparents to stop buying gifts for their grandchildren. :) We go through all the boys toys (ages 5 and 4 currently - have been doing this for two years) and weed out ones that are too young or that are not played with. We then take all the toys that we went through and take them to the Schriners Hospital. The first year we explained that there were children in the hospital and they were in need of toys too. Since they had just gotten new toys for their birthdays and Christmas (close together) the kids in the hospital would love the toys they don't play with any more. For the kids we let whomever wishes to give them gifts to do so and for the adults we pick names so we each just give one gift out to the adults. It is easier all around because like you we all have everything we need.

I'd be interested in what you decide.

P.

You can trim down the amount of presents each person buys by pull names. we pull names when we get together at Thanksgiving time. Be creative with the kids... maybe everyone can bring a wrapped book or small toy for one child (if there are many children)? HTH.

We have a large family, and once all the little ones started coming we felt that it was getting to be a bit much with all of the gifts (and often times we were all just exchanging gift cards anyway). We decided as a family to focus our gift giving on the children and started a tradition to get together every year a week or so before Christmas for a family party and a White Elephant gift exchange. We all bring a joke gift, Dad dresses up like Santa with goodies for the kids, and it has turned out to be absolutely hilarious and something we all really look forward to! There is now one hideous straw chicken centerpiece that shows up every year, so we all look forward to seeing who'll get stuck with it. It really put the focus back on just being with family and enjoying each other's company. We love it!

Its probably a little late to start now (for this year) but wehave done yeard sale christmas. you look at yardsales throughout the year and find something that someone would like and then clean and fix it up. example she thought my son would love a treasure box (he did) but the one she found was pink and purple. she painted it red and blue and he loves to use it and hide things in it. The rule we go by is no more than 20 dollars a person. you will be suprised what you find. and the person knows you were thinking about them throughout the year. Also it keeps cost way down!

How "grown-up" is this family? All the littles who still believe in Santa , perhaps under 5 years old, need a little something that moves when wound up or something shiney. The rest of the family can aagree on a charity they support, pool their money and make a gift that will really do some good. When our children were in grade school we began "Adopting a Family" at Christmas. We received the names of the family, usually a family of 7 like us, and went shopping. Names came from a charity called SOS in Orange County. At home we wrapped the gifts, attaching a name to each gift and packed them in the BIG box to be delivered to the charity for delivery. We sometimes included Christmas dinner when we could. All the chldren, now adults, remember this most about our Christmas time. Some continue this same giving with their families today. After your gift have a big pot luck dinner. G.

We are finding that getting a whole family memberships to a local attraction are great. We live in Santa Cruz and have the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Gilroy Garderns (a botanical themed amusement park great for little kids), Roaring Camp (a train ride and themed area), the Santa Cruz Boardwalk ( beachside amusement park), and the San Jose Discovery Mueseum. All of these places have annual memberships and give discounts for groups. Its a great gift that keeps giving through-out the year, and most of these places are nonprofit or donate to non profits. I'm sure there are things of that nature in most areas.

Hi there! We have run into the same thing with our friends. We normally do a huge party and gift exchange, but the kids end up getting SOOO much stuff, which they don't NEED. It is fun, but we decided this year to Adopt-a-Family and get the kids involved in getting stuff for the kids in the family, buying gifts, getting them coat's, whatever they need etc. Then for our "party" we will have the kids help wrap the gifts and just talk about helping others and being thankful for what you have. We are also going to do a small gift exchange where each kid picks a name and buys one gift. That way they get to help others and get a special gift from one of their friends. There are so many families out there that will barely have a Christmas, so we are excited to take the money we would normally spend on tons of gifts and use it to make someone elses holiday special! :)

Like most everybody else has said we also draw names and buy for just the person we picked, other than kids. for all the kids 12 and under everybody buy a small gift. last year however we brought out board games and played as a family. pictuary, outburst that sort of game and then only bought presents for anybody 12 or younger. it worked out really nice and everybody had a great time.

We are in the same boat as you guys are. Usually, what we do is we buy just the kids gifts. For the adults we have 2 gift exchanges. One is a fun $5 one and the other is a $25 dollar. Both are optional but this saves us a ton of money (we also have a good size family) and it's pretty fun. Instead of picking names from a hat, we play a game to win a gift. We all sit in a cirl and go around the room and pick one gift (none of the gifts have who it's from) and open it. We show it so everyone can see it. When all the gifts are open, Someone sets a timer for however many minutes they want (this is usually someone who isn't playing). Each person takes a turn and rolls two dice. If they roll doubles, that person can switch their gift with any other person. When the timer rings the game is over and whatever gift you end up with, you keep.

This was such a hit I do it every year. For adults - get 1 nice tree ornament that suits their style and put a little tag on it that says " A donation was made to Toys for Tots in your honor." A nice ornament and a little toy cost less than a typical gift for an adult. You could choose any charity - this year we are giving to the Second Harvest Food Bank.
A friend of ours makes delicious cookies and gives them out at christmas to all of her friends and coworkers. We all look forward to her Cookie Party - and our son is getting in on the act now too.
Secret Santa is fun for a big family and I'm sure you aren't the only one that would be relieved to reduce the amount of gift shopping. Christmas is SUPPOSED to be about being together and expressing love and gratitude - not the commercial mess it has become.
There are so many people struggling now - and donations are way down so think about ways you and your kids can help. I took my son to Ross last year at the mall and picked out some little books and toys and then took them to the Santa toy Drive booth in the mall - he was only 3 but really proud to be helping Santa give toys to kids. His birthday is in late October so we set aside some of the toys he got as gifts and donated them as well. He was fine with sharing and pleased to help.
I have an agreement with my sister-in-law that we send birthday gifts to the kids - but only Christmas cards and photos for the Holidays. It helps to spread out the gift shopping over the year and I get the kids really great birthday gifts that I couldn't afford if I had to get Christmas stuff too.
I can't believe it's already October!!!

Hi H.,

I feel the same way as you do. My kids are 13, 10, and 7. Christmas gets so overwhelming and after they have opened a few gifts, the kids aren't as "excited" as they were when they first started. That tells me they get overwhelmed with it all too! We started taking a family vacation every other christmas in lieu of presents (of course, Santa always visits christmas morning with something very small) but my kids have learned to enjoy family instead of just "wanting". We also started adopting a family each year. I started going through our local Concilio but have been fortunate enough to actually find some families myself in the last couple of years. That is such a rewarding thing to do with your kids. I take my kids with me shopping and we get the kids a few outfits, shoes, basic necessities and then a few toys/books. I've explained to my kids the importance of giving and helping others and they totally understand now. Last year we also made blankets for each family member that we adopted and it was fun. I hope they will carry that tradition on when they are married and have families.

I have heard of families buying books and dontating them for birthday parties instead of gifts which I think is a GREAT idea too. I've never done that though.

Another idea we do on the year that we are home is have each adult person bring a wrapped gift and then when we are all together on our celebration night, we draw numbers. The first person gets to pick a gift and open it. The second person can either "steal" from the first person or take a wrapped gift and open it and then so on. The gift can only transfer hands 3 times and then it is "frozen". You can do nice gifts or joke gifts...our family chooses to do nice gifts and we set a $25 limit. We've had gift certificates for restaurants, lotto scratcher tickets, and nice gifts. We also have the kids do a gift exchange but we pre-arrange a name exchange and make sure to get what they are asking for.

I hope this helps. I know...it's so hard to get started but such a relief when it happens. I get so tired of getting on my kids to clean their room when in reality it is our fault for buying them all the stuff that is cluttering their room!

M.

Once our family started growing we changed things around. We started by all of the adults putting their name in a hat and drawing names. Spouses could not get eachother. We had a dollar amount on it. Than the kids put their names in the hat and drew names. You could not draw a siblings name. Our kids did not want to give up giving or getting gifts cold turkey. Than after about seven years later the kids just draw names. It makes the holidays fun for the kids to pick out the special gift for their cousin. We usually do a dollar amount of $20 or $25 per child.

H.,

My husband's family is a rather large Greek family, so I know how overwhelming it can be with Christmas. His family has a tradition to create a handmade (completely handmade) ornament and have an ornament exchange with the entire family. I know every year, there is more pressure to create "the most desired" ornament and there is no focus on gifts. It is really a special family event. I start gathering new ideas right after Christmas is over and work very dilligently to put my heart and soul into my ornament that someone will have on their tree as a reminder of our Christmas.

We do the typical everyone draws a number and the first person goes to the tree, next person can steal or go to the tree, next person can steal or go to the tree, if there are two steals in a row, the third person must go to the tree. This will keep all the ornaments in play for the entire game. Some of our family members, especially the grandparents, look forward to trying to get the special creations from their grandchildren.

It is so fun to look at all our handmade ornaments every year as we hang them on the tree.

Good Luck,

T.

we have a big family also and what we would do some years is pick a name out of a hat and you just buy for that person. We have also done it where the names that are picked are just for the kids to get something. Another thing that has been fun is we all decide on somewhere that would be fun to go or do and put our money on that.

How bout starting a scrap book of sorts? Like a holiday Diary. Get a nice, hefty book of blank pages, and make sure its passed (even mailed) to out of town family. Have everyone put in an entry each Christmas season, maybe adding a family photo of that year and some basic info of milestones that happened that year and hopes for the year to come. With each year as kids become older and able to write their own entries and compare to what was written the prior year... would be fun. Make sure that it's mailed to members that can't make it for the yearly get together and have them mail it to the next person and so on and so forth. As the book ages and becomes tattered and worn, it will be full of fun memories.

Our church has a Christmas Star Bizarre where you can purchase things like seeds or a chicken so less fortunate people can raise them or books for children in the name of someone else. Some things are as much as $1. We have done this the past few years. It is less expensive and helps others but still lets family members know you are thinking of them.

My family either does a gift exchange like a secret santa and everyone puts there name in the bucket and we draw names and get a gift for that person, OR we do a "white elephant" exchange for lack of a better word. We don't bring used gifts, but we put a limit of $25 on the price of the gift, and you bring it wrapped, then we draw numbers and you get to pick a gift out of the pile or steal one from someone else who has unwrapped their gift. This is ALWAYS a ton of fun! AND this way, if people do not want to participate they just don't bring a gift with them, no biggie! Most people usually participate mostly to steal a gift! LOL ~ we also put a limit that a gift can only be stolen 3 times and then it is dead and that gift cannot be stolen anymore! That is what we do for the adults. I don't know how many kids there are in your family, but we limit buying presents for the kids to under 18 year olds....after that - they have to do the exchange like everyone else. There have been a few exceptions if they have not graduated from High School yet, we will buy them gifts like the kids......anyways, that is how we save $$ at Christmas time! We have a pretty large family also, and there is NO WAY that we could afford to get everybody something, and especially something that they would like and/or use. It would probably just get donated to Salvation Army or something, not that it is not a good cause, but....hopefully you know what I mean.....Good Luck! I hope that the rest of your family buys in to one of these ideas, I know that we have a great time stealing gifts from each other! And another great thing about that is that if a guy gets a present that is girly, a girl usually steals it, and then he could pick another gift from the pile or steal someone elses gift.....or vice versa....anyways, I wll stop now! Good Luck!

my mom and I used to bake loaves of bread (zucchini bread, to be exact), wrap them in tin foil, and tie a string of red or green ribbon around it, and give them to our neighbors and friends as gifts. it'd an idea for family, as well. (baked goods) :)
in the past, we've also hand-made ornaments, and I personally have shopped at the Dollar Store. when you're in a bind, but you still love shopping and buying for others, it really is the thought that counts, not how much you spend! :)

Thankfully, on my side of my family, we are all of the same mindset and have determined not to buy gifts for Christmas or Birthdays anymore. Instead we make it a priority to spend more time together on those occasions, and play games till midnight.

On my husband's side, it's harder. In a 30 day period there are 3 birthdays and Christmas, and none of us could afford it all, but they didn't want to skip the presents all together like my family. So instead, we're doing the Secret Santa thing, but it's by family, not per person. So each of the siblings will be buying one gift for one of their sibling's family to share, one gift for their mom, and one for their dad.

I had also heard of someone that, instead of buying gifts, cooked a fantastic gourmet meal for the entire family. I've always wanted to do that instead of gift giving.

Last year, in addition to a few gifts, I gave each of my kids the gift of 3 hours with mom to do anything they wanted. All of my kids (aged 10 to 16) absolutely LOVED this. Each one chose something different, but each was amazing. I tried not to respond negatively to anything they asked to do, and I was surprised at how simple most of their requests were. We baked cookies, built card houses, played video games, had driving lessons, took walks, went to movies. These were all things we do anyway, but the idea that they got to choose and didn't have to share me felt very special to my kids (and me too!).

Hi H..

I know you received a lot of responses, so I didn't read them, but incase nobody suggested it, our family does do a donation every year. There is an organization called Samaritan's Purse lead by Franklin Graham (Billy Graham's son) and there is opportunity to give to underpriviledged people in different countries. My kids usually buy milk for a hungry child. It is about $3.00 per child and they buy as much as they can with their saved allowance. For each donation they get a Christmas card and give it to someone stating that they made a donation in their name. There are also more expensive gifts like a cow for a village if you want to go farther in the amount.

The other thing we do every year is bake cookies or make jam or any other homemade gift. I have two boys and they love doing this.

One more idea that my kids do is personal gift certificates. Good for a free lawn mowing or even just "good for an hour alone with me." That is usually for aunts and grammas. They love that kind of thing.

I have to say I have come across one or two people who seemed offended that they didn't get a "gift" but I believe it is all about the giving and most people are grateful and love the donation idea. I hope this helps. I too want to get away from the financial stress of the gift exchange and make it more of a gift of love.

Hi H.,
Why don't you take some of the pictures of your family happenings and have each person write a story of their memory of the event? My 35 year old son just died and we had the most wonderful memorial, but what a treasure it would be to have the children's year books with the events of their lives chronicaled and illustrated. You could spend the day reading the stories and interviewing them on camera and watching the video.... how much more fun to do it as you go along.
"Blessings to you and your family"
D. Fuller
ps Peanut M&M's and Mike and Ike Hot tamales are definitely a must!;)

Heifer International is a great charity. They give animals to familes in countries where a goat can mean a huge difference. If you got your whole family to chip in then you could change a lot of families lives. Check out the website - they have lots of different levels of contributions, ex:$10 might buy a check or something, and $200 would buy a wqhole assortment of animals for people - I think they have something called an arc, with lots of animals.

I wish my family would do somethign like this - I totally agree with you! WE give a couple of Heifer gifts and the rest is just stuff - ick!

Good luck-
M.

We usually do the secret santa thing. But this year we are going to do the "white elephant" gift exchange game. We are limiting each adults gift to $20 and a couple can choose to do one gift or two. The kids will do this as well, but their gift is limited to $10. There are just way too many kids and adults to buy everyone gifts. This was it will be a game and be fun.

I have three siblings and Christmas can be crazy for our family too. All the kids get gifts. For the adults, we alternate between Secret Santas and a $20 limit per person.
Good luck!

With my husbands side, we pd for 1 month of ballet lessons for our neice. We gave my brother and sister in-law movie tickets, with a promise to babysit so they have a night out. For the little one we took her home with us for the weekend to do whatever she wanted. We didn't donate in their name because we donate throughout the year and do toys for tots, and at Christmas it is always fun to get something tangible, even if you are an adult. This year I'm getting my husband cooking lessons, he doesn't need it, but lessons that specialize in a type of food.

How about something special family? Personally, I like to sew, so a little wall quilt (and that can become a yearly tradition, making one for each holiday every year.... do Christmas the first year, then halloween the next year, then fourth of july the next...)... You could do scarves out of fleece (don't even have to sew) for the ski'ier's, etc.
Good luck!