D.S.
Christ gave us a marvelous gift that we were VERY undeserving of. If gift giving was conditional upon our behavior, we would never have been given the free gift of salvation, which was the origional Christmas gift.
She is not allowed to tell you what to give her and neither is her father's new wife. Search your heart for the love you still have for her. Think on her talents and buy her something you wish her to have. You can't show her love by buying her things, so don't try. Buy her something you think will bring out some of her talents or nicer qualities. At the very least, some day she may see it as a very thoughful present from you.
God Bless, D.