Second Marriage Showers

For an inexpensive shower gift, frame their wedding invitation. They can then hang it in their home & always remember their wedding date. This has been a tradition in my family for years.

I'm late, but could she provide a service (wedding co-ordination, play music, make the cake, help with the reception, be the photographer, etc)?

It is definitely appropriate. Maybe she could do something simple like a wedding frame or photo album and a nice card.
She could spend under $20 easily. She could get some nice wine glasses and a wine stopper or a bottle of wine with the glasses. I am surprised that they are even having a shower though as a 2nd wedding and for their age.........

maybe a nice picture frame for a new wedding photo? If she can't find one inexpensively through retail, have her check out Freecycle.org, Craigslist, or thrift shops. Best wishes.

I did something for my wedding program that someone told me would make an awesome gift if framed... I called it a "Patchowork of Memories" I made a brief bulleted point about everyone involved in the wedding and how they were related. It will take some time and energy but really thoughtful and very inexpensive to print on nice paper and find an inexpensive frame.
Good luck!

For example: I included details of how we met, how our family met our spouse to be and simple memories of the people in the wedding and details about the ceremony.

♥ R. and Paul met and fell in love in San Francisco!

♥ Steve set-up R. and Paul by taking them to a movie and dinner he described Paul as “the perfect guy” for her! He will perform the marriage ceremony!

♥ The pink roses are in honor of Paul’s mom, Helen, who planted a rose bush she named the “Rachael Rose”.

♥ Rachael’s mom, Diane, made the flower girl dresses. The butterflies on the fabric remind them of Rachael’s brothers, Curtis and Kieth.

♥ Paul’s dad, Jack, took R. and Paul to a Kenny Roger’s concert in Kincardine, Ontario. She enjoyed getting to know her father-in-law-to-be that night!

♥ Rachael’s father grew up in Norfolk, England, which is famous for their lavender. The smell reminds her of her dad.

♥ Rachael’s sister, Wendy, made the flower girls’ baskets for their nieces Courtney, Hayley and Hannah to carry. The girls will hand out bubbles for a group photo after the ceremony!

Purchase a nice recipe book and compile favorite recipes of friends and family. Especially any that her dad especially likes.

Have her write up some of her Dad's favorite recipes/foods and put in a scrapbook. She can be creative with decorating the scrapbook, printing the recipies, etc. I think it would make a meaningful and inexpensive gift. I've seen really nice scrapbooks at discount stores like Ross or Big Lots. I'd decide how many recipies I was going to use before shopping for the scrapbook.

I like to sew, so I made a cross-stitch bookmark (to put in the wedding photo album) for my Dad when he married #3. It was a super quick, very inexpensive project. I used a small floral design, and included their first names and the wedding date. Most craft stores still sell small project kits and cross stitching is really very easy to do. No one ever taught me how, I just bought a kit and read the instructions.

Hope she likes the new lady in her Dad's life. My brothers and sister pitched a fit when my Dad proposed. I wish I could say everyone is over it now . . .

I think that any gesture would be appreciated. I doubt that after 50 years, they need many household items? BUt something she could do would be to make "Coupons" for things she can do for them. Like a "coupon" for a garden weeding or lawn mowing, or house cleaning, or whatever her talents are - maybe put that new degree to good use :)

being there and helping to serve or mingling should be enough. I would hope she would be understanding of the situation.

a card would be great if she just wants to do that. she could also get a gift card to a coffee shop so they could get out and talk

She can get creative and put a collage together. Maybe she can do a 'welcome to the family' theme with her and any/all siblings, dad and future stepmom. The frame doesn't have to be expensive, and the thought behind it will make it a favorite gift to enjoy always. Maybe she can ask her dad for his favorite pictures of the couple together, especially ones he knows his bride really likes or looks great in! Good luck!

There are a lot of great ideas suggested here. While it would be nice if your neice is able to get a gift. However, I remember when my youngest sister married a couple of years ago. After it was all said and done buying a bridesmaid dress, flower girl dress, shoes, travel, bridal shower and other essential odds and ends to prepare for the wedding. We spent at least 500.00 + to attend the wedding. While a gift would be nice I hope that Dad and his future wife would understand if she needs help to be a part of their wedding especially if she is still paying for school. Maybe someone needs to give Dad a little insight as to his daughter's financial reality. If talking to Dad would be too stressful is there someone else in the family that would be willing and able to help.

She could get them a book....something we buy for everyone but especially needed in a second marriage situation (like my dh and me). We LOVE Dr. John Gottman's "Seven Principals for Making Marriage Work". It is an incredible book. Also helpful are "Creating an Intimate Marriage" by Jim Brown, tho it often references the Gottman book, and "Why You Do The Things You Do" by Timothy Clinton. I don't think the father's new wife would appreciate the housekeeping book we usually buy but if she's Betty Crocker made over, she may appreciate "Home Comforts" by Cheryl Mendelson. ONE of these may make an appropriate gift; I highly suggest the first if only one is purchased.

Is she crafty? Making something may be more appropriate...

as an aside, if she's invited to the shower and NOT providing hours of labor in planning, running around for it, decorating, or preparing food - IOW, if she's a typical shower guest, then I would agree it's appropriate for her to purchase a gift. If she IS pouring copious amounts of time and/or into the shower, then absolutely not. It's typically understood the shower contribution was the gift (if she provides catering, makes the cake, etc).

Joy to all!

I think Kimberley D. had a fantastic suggestion. What a great idea!

She might appreciate a small scrapbook of pictures of your niece growing up to give her a glimpse into her early life. It might also be nice to include a couple of pages at the end with your niece and the brides children and a note to welcome her to her family.

Good luck!

D., a few notes before I really answer your question.

Originally, a bridal shower was a social substitute for a dowery. The friends of the bride would "shower" gifts on the bride to help furnish her new home. At one time, it was considered gauche to have a shower for a second or subsequent wedding since it could safely be assumed the bride would have most of her home needs. Nowadays that 'dowery' concept has progressed to the idea of simply wanting to share in the bride's good fortune and happiness at her coming betrothal. So, bear in mind, this bride, as well as almost any 2nd time around bride, probably has all the nic-nacks she can handle. She probably doesn't need another blender or slow cooker or food processor or mixer. She really doesn't need more pots and pans and such.

That being said, your niece certainly does not want to shun her soon-to-be step-mom by not giving her a gift. But she does not need to break her bank account either. As already suggested, if she has any crafty skills, she could utilize her talents to make a gift that would mean so much more than a hundred purchased items.

She might find a ceramics shop where she can select a pretty greenware vase, paint it and, on the bottom where she would sign her work, she could put her dad and stepmom's names and the date of their wedding.
The cookbook of her dad's favorite recipes is an excellent idea as is the photo album. While she would not be able to assemble an album of wedding pictures, she could make copies of photos of her dad through his life from baby pictures to adulthood and get with her future step-siblings to get photos of stepmom's life as well. Then the last photo could be one of the two of them together - or save a spot for a wedding portrait to be added. Include more pages for other wedding photos or photos of their shared life beyond the wedding.

With a little imagination, she could come up with a number of gifts she can make in s short period of time and with little cash outgo. Remember, if she is short on funds, her stepmom knows it and will respect that. A handcrafted gift can mean so much more than something someone just ran out and bought and wrapped. It represents an investment of energy and time and self for someone else. What greater gift can there be?

I don't see a problem with her getting a gift. I assume she is happy with the new spouse to be of her dad. I do agree that if she is spending money on the shower she shouldn't worry about a gift. Is there a theme to the shower? That would drive the type of gift, but I would buy something that is, obviously, within her price range. Make the outside of the box very pretty and that will count. Also, if there is not a theme, Belk's has some nice items for not a lot...such as a pretty vase. That way her Dad can always keep it full with flowers! Or she may write a nice note to her to go with the vase. Or she could just write her a nice note on a beautiful card that may mean the world to the fiancee to be accepted by her. That gift would be priceless! Good luck with the decision. Keep us posted!

I would give a gift if it was me. Maybe something with pictures. If they have purchased a new home together take pics of that, a favorite restaurant,doing things together as a new family. If they have purchased a new home they may have things on their wish list as well. I think something that will say welcome to the family would be fitting.

She can buy them a frame at Wal-Mart ($5.00) with a mat. Take it apart, have it at the reception with a pen and have the guests sign it. After the wedding, place a picture of them in it and she now has a shower and wedding gift that costs less than $10 but is very meaningful.

She absolutely should buy a gift. She can find something even under $10 (picture frame, album, something for the honeymoon like sandals, beach cover-up, etc.), but it would be in very poor taste not to give anything.

Something that is always inexpensive is a picture frame or nice photo album. She could get it personalized with their names and wedding date. I bought a silver plated frame and had it personalized just like that for my friends when they got married. I think it cost like $30-40 for all of it. They loved it and even called and said they thought it was really special. I don't know how much she has to spend but that's an idea.