This is a control issue... I would not engage in a power struggle over this... well, I take that back, I did in the past, learned my lesson and learned that potty training is VERY INDIVIDUAL to the child. My son (first) was a struggle...my daughter (second) was a breeze and practically trained herself at just a few months after her 2nd birthday. But let's go back to my son, he and I power struggled and let me tell you that he won! My advise is to shelve these efforts for a good month and then revisit. Bottom line, you can't make them go, only encourage... what you can do is make them think it is their idea... but you are going to have to give it a rest for a while and then regroup, get a new strategy and try later after both of you have had time to detach from the power struggle. After about a month go to the library and while she is distracted in the puzzles pull out a lot of potty books and mix them in with a handful of others, show this pile to her and tell her she can pick five books to take home. Hopefully she will pick some of the potty books, then at home read them to her every night before bed... I would do this alone for about two weeks. During the month of waiting, get rid of pull ups and consider, just for a six week trial switching her to cloth diapers. The probability of her disliking cloth is high. And that's a good thing. Over this months time she will learn to hate the diaper and when it's time to read the books her interest in going on the potty will be greater than going in these new cloth diapers that she (probably) hates. Cloth yes is a pain, but judging by your post, 6 weeks of cloth is better than a year of disposables. Also every time she goes in the cloth in that first month you can make her part of the process of taking care of the consequences BUT make sure there is nothing negative about it. Example: have her put the wet diapers in the bucket, have her watch you put the stool in the potty but have her do the flushing. And just make sure during this time you don't express any of your distain in this process. Keep it positive, make it a "fun" time. Perhaps a couple weeks in, you can start to treat her for doing the flushing and dumping the wets in the bucket or washing machine...perhaps she gets a sticker on a chart for every time she helps out and every 5th sticker she gets to pick a treat out of a bowl (tootsie roll, m&m, jelly bean). So now think, during this month you will accomplish getting her to form positive feelings towards this topic, will get her to dislike diapers, and will get the two of you acting like a team instead of adversaries. Then you take the trip to the library, read for a couple of weeks, this builds her confidence in actually going in the potty... then start to test the water... "would you like to pee in the potty?" "would you like to poop in the potty?" "do you know that when you pee in the potty it will turn the potty water blue? and green? and pink? and orange? (after she pees in the potty discreetly drop some food coloring try not to let her see you do it ) Ask her "what color do you think it will turn this time? For every time your pee or poop changes the potty a color, you get to flush! And remember what happens when you get to flush, You get your sticker for your chart!" Hopefully she will start to want to participate... also you can insert a middle step if she doesn't go for the above, you can tell her that every time she "practices" sitting on the potty that she can earn a sticker. (reserve the color for success) Well, finally I just have to say... it's a process and not a fun one... good luck to you and I hope some of my advise will work out for you. Let us know how it goes! :) And P.s. I know from experience that it is hard to hear that she may not be ready... ask yourself the following, does she wake up dry? Can she go at least an hour with a dry diaper? I think it's a great sign that she is telling you that she is wet and or messy. Reward her for this! I know it sounds crazy, but it goes back to making it positive.. in the six weeks of cloth, you can give her hugs and praise for "TELLING" you she's wet/messy. Make sure she understands that this communication is so GREAT!! Then try to encourage her to come and tell you that she has to before she actually does. Still let her go in the diaper, but training her to communicate is fundamental step. Again, praise and hugs for the communication and then like I said above make her part of the clean up process. IT's all tons of baby steps, literally! And, I get other peoples point that "every kid is different" because they are. But, I also believe there is a window of opportunity to get this job done and it's easier in my opinion to do it younger rather than older when their will is even stronger! (My son didn't train fully until 4 and in my book, that is to late) But I also believe that my power struggles prohibited his success. Well, again good luck to you!