M.F.
Hi A.,
I just want to let you know that you are definately not alone. My son is only 5 months old so I don't know truly what you are going through, but my parents and I have been dealing with a similar situation with my brother. It has affected our whole family and has made our family life full of tension and continous arguments over what should be done. Anyway my brother seems to since 17 always attract the girls with very low self esteem and very tough home lives with obvious mental problems. I know it is not totally the girls fault. Needless to say its gone from girl to girl with his life spiraling more and more out of control and each girl tearing a bigger hole in his self esteem and heart. He's drank himself near death and done every drug in the book. The most recent issue we are dealing with is that he got a 19 girl pregnant and now has a son and no job no value in life and a very huge anger problem. I'm not really sure how to help your son because I'm not really sure what can be done to help my brother. I do know that you can't help someone who doesn't want to help or change for themselves. My brothers issue is that he doesn't see anything wrong with his life and the fact that my parents do everything for him only to be crapped on time after time. They even pay all of his bills and his child support because he will not keep a job or look for a job and they don't want to see his son suffer and be denied visits from their grandson. And they tried kicking him out before which only ended in him coming home after he got a girl pregnant and had no money, food, clothes, or any clue as to where his life would be going the next day. I will say to please make sure that your son knows you love him and that no matter what he is doing now you know he loves you and will one day realize the error of his way. That's pretty much the only thing I can hold to. My brother will one day realize how much his family has done for him and how much he always chose girlfriends and friends over his family. My sister is twelve and has also been affected by this situation greatly. She hates all the arguing and only wants to love her brother who does nothing but cuss, hit and act like he hates her. Unfortunately for us I don't think there is much that we can do but love them and hope that one day things will change. Anyway I know this probably isn't much help. I do agree that asking your son to leave is best for the rest of your family. Good luck and I hope things get better soon.