Child in Our Bed - Need to Get Her Out

All of my kids slept wiht us and then it became time to get out... we circled a date on teh calander and we stuck to it and we let them cry it out we sometimes slept with the the first week ad hten it was up to them and it works be tough it;ll be about 2 weeks of not a lot of sleep and lots of tears but then.... it iwll be over.

I'd set up a chart. Every night she stays in her own bed, she gets a sticker, after so many she gets something, a toy, dinner out, whatever you know she'll work for.

M.,
When my kids were sick I slept on the floor in their room. However, my kids did not have constant ear infections. You will have to tell her that YOU sleep better when she is in her own room. Mommy & Daddy have our room and she has her own room. If you don't sever it now, you'll have all four of you in one bed. L. J

see my answer to the last mom who posted a similiar question!

You need to take her back to her room, put her back in her own bed. Talk to her calmly for a few minutes and then go back to your room. Do this everytime she gets into your bed. Does she have a nightlight in her room? Can you put some soft music on for her to make her feel peaceful? Just added suggestions.

hi, my little man, almost 4, likes to sleep with me when his dad is away with work. when he comes home i make little man a bed on our floor. he goes to bed in his own room but if he wakes up in the night he come to out room and climbes in to his "nest" on our floor and goes right back to sleep. that way we all get our sleep without fighting for bed space, little man is a bed hog!

That is weird... I have a very similiar problem... My son is 3 and he has had a bed time just like the others every night the same routine.... but here's what he does... he will go in his bed at 8:00pm and lay there until he sees all of the lights go out and he hears us locking the door.. it could even be at like ten or eleven o'clock at night... then he will wait for a few and either go to the couch and sleep or he will sneak in our room after he has been laying on the couch if he thinks that we are asleep... and if we are not.. i try to to put him back in his bed and it happens over and over again sometimes all night. needless to say i have no clue what to do because he eventually ends up on the couch anyways or in our bed... if you find out... please let me know too .. just know that you are not alone.

My husband and I go through this with our four year old too. All we do is one of us will get up, and put our son back into his bed, and tell him to stay put. He will listen to us, but he does cry. It is a repeat process that will eventually come to an end. Good luck.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7, and 4.

My daughter did this too. It's hard because you're tired, but as soon as she comes in your room you have to take her back to hers. Don't let her just lay there for a few minutes (you'll probably all fall back asleep and forget). It takes some time, but my daughter dropped it after a week or so. Eventually you should just be able to say "go back to your bed". At first you may need to sit with her for a minute or two, but try to keep it to a minimum or else you're just starting another bad habit.

totally understand! I have a 3 year old and 6 year old I have the same issue with. it is difficult and we are not getting much sleep ! I dont know what else to do except get up each time and put them back in their own bed, but,,,,when you have 2 of them doing this is crazy, it is like I just get one in bed, I get back in bed and then I have the other one get up so I am right back up again.....it feels like I never sleep. I got thru 2 nights of this, then I was so tired I gave up!

Our son was like that for his first year. Always sleeping with us. So we started telling him that he ccould come to our bed when daddy goes to work, which is around 5:30am. So now in the middle of the night he will come get me to lay with him for a few min in his bed. some times he stays in his bed later that when my husband gets up. but that is what worked for us.

Good luck

J.

You have made a good decision to not let your children sllep in bed with you and your husband. Good for you! I understand the temporary situation that started it, but now I suggest that whenever your little one arrives in your bedroom that you gently and lovingly carry her back to her bed (after making sure that all her needs are met, potty, water, etc.) tucking her warmly back in her own bed and reminding her that she is a big girl and needs to sleep in her own bed, but if she needs you you are just a moment away. If you believe in prayer, have prayer with her and remind her that God is watching over her. This was very reassuring to our boys when they had trouble sleeping when they were young. They usually went right to sleep after that. I hope that all works out well for you.

Our oldest is 5 (or will be on Thursday) and she slept with us until this last summer. She had a fibral seizure when she was about 8 months old and scared us to death.

We worked really hard to get the bedroom together - we also have another daughter who will be 2 in November. We finally on a Thursday night told her that "tonight you'll sleep with us, and starting tomorrow, you'll get to sleep in your own special bedroom!" and made it sound exciting. She never looked back and has done an awesome job. Part of it was that we also had our youngest in her crib in the room too.

I've seen Supernanny and "Take Home Nanny" do a couple things that seemed to work well. One was to have a chair in the room (to reassure them your still around), but set it in such a way so that when you're sitting in it you aren't looking at them. Whenever they get up, go over and put them back in the bed without saying anything. Keep doing this until they fall asleep. It took one mom about 2 hours and several several times of putting the child back in bed before the child (a boy) went to sleep. But it worked. For the older children it was to put them in bed, tell them it's time for bed, then leave the room. Every time the child came back out, the parent put them back in bed until they finally went to sleep.

For whatever it's worth....

Good luck!

Hello. I have a few completly different suggestions. You could...A) let her sleep with you for convience and sleep (which I am guilty of). B) Do the Nanny 911 routine and just keep walking her back to bed and on the third trip don't say anything, just walk her back to her room and put her in bed (this takes alot of time and patience). C) (I did this with my now 5 yo) make her a 'school bed' on your floor next to your bed. She is at the age where night tremors/terrors start (which my 5yo goes through) and I found with her sleeping on the floor next to our bed we all get sleep and aren't kicked to death. It also made a smoother transition to get her to stay in her bed (and in all honesty she does occasionally wake up and crawl into our room). Also, it shows her that you are always available to her, even though you aren't right next to her. Hope that helps...Best of Luck!

Keep either a sleeping bag or air mattress in your room. If they absolutely need to be close to you in order to feel comforted, tell them that they can come into your room but they have to sleep on the air mattress or in the sleeping bag. This way you can sleep and child can be close to you without knocking you out of your bed. I know several people that use this tactc and it works well. But you have to be firm and keep them our of the bed. After all you are intitled to some privacy and rest.

We have our 4 year old's bed next to ours. She starts out in her bed and often ends up crawling up into ours. She usually doesn't even wake me up, so we all get good sleep. We tried her in her own room, but she would wake up, wake us up, have trouble getting back to sleep, etc... We have always been co-sleepers. I see no reason to put her by herself until she is ready. Good luck!!

Hi M.,
As hard as this will be to do, everytime she ends up in your bed someone needs to carry her back to hers. If you keep it up she will eventually stop coming to your bed. Good Luck! C.

Transition is always best. The next time she gets up, take her back to her room, explain that is where she sleeps and maybe you stay in there with her until she falls asleep again. I've done this a few times with my 2.5 year old. I just sit down and cuddle her in my arms until she is ready to go back to bed or is asleep and then lay her down. You may not get a ton of sleep hanging out in her room at night, but eventually she'll sleep in there by her self and the problem will be fixed forever. Be firm, once you give in, thats what they get used to and then you're in trouble.