3Yr Old Won't Sleep Alone

I would lay down with him or have the 10 yr old lay down with him for a few night till he drifts to sleep.

The only advice I can give is get tough on him and make him get in his own bed... I know it sounds harsh. Also, you could start moving him into his bed after he has already fallen asleep so that when he wakes up he sees that he is in there and that he is ok.

Is it his room or does he want to sleep with someone?
You know during the day does he play or nap in his room? Is he comfortable in there when it is not bed time? If he is not comfortable during the day, try to see if something else is going on. As a kid I was terrified of the dark. I drove my parents crazy. They where at a loss as to how to get me to sleep by myself. I would wait until everyone was a sleep and slip into bed (or the floor) with one of my siblings. Then one night my parents let me play in my room all night with the lights one. I was finally so tired I fell a sleep playing. The next morning everyone made a big deal about me sleeping alone. I felt so good,I kept it up. I don't think my parents planned it but they seized the opportunity to praise me. For me it was what I needed. Best of luck. K

Is it possible to switch rooms with the 10 year old? Maybe just a whole new "start over" would work? It did with mine. He used to want to sleep on the couch and would get up from bed and go to the couch. When we moved, we just explained that at the new house, he had to sleep in his room, in his bed, and we never had ONE problem with it after moving. He was 3 at the time. I know it would be a lot of work to switch everything around, IF the 10 year old is on board, but obviously the 3 YO is traumatized by the ceiling fan.

My 3 yr. old started the same thing back in March right after Daylight Savings Time. So I made a pallet for him in the living room and that seems to satisfy him. At least he's not in bed with anyone else and he's putting himself to sleep. I think it makes him feel better being closer to our room. I did tell him when he turns 4 (in 2 wks) he has to go back to his big boy bed. We'll see how that goes! But for now we're all getting a good nights sleep.

Consider taking the ceiling fan out. Ask him if he would like his room if the fan wasn't there ( not that 3 year olds have the say so) but just to see if that is what his main problem is. If it gets got you can get those safe standing fans for summer. For about a week, lay beside him and read or tell stories as you put him to bed, and he may fall asleep before you even get the stories read, and if he wakes and finds all is well, he may be fine, this may take a few times. or try putting on lulaby cassette tapes on after a story. He just needs to feel secure, and just putting up a light fixture instead of fan may do the trick.

Although dramatic I would suggest that your 10yr old move into the other bedroom and see if your younger son would sleep alone in the room that they are currently sharing. Just an idea??

make him a pallet next to your side of the bed on the floor and let him sleep there until he is brave enough to sleep in his own room. my youngest is 8 and still drags his stuff in to make a pallet next to me when he has a bad dream or night terror. i never let them sleep with me on the bed, but they can sleep on the floor if they want to for as long as they want. the same thing happened to my two older sons (I have 3) when they were younger something outside their window scared them. and they slept on pallets in my room around mine and hubby's bed for months. it is a phase and it will pass. it makes them feel safe, and i still get to sleep without little feet in my back. and eventually they do get tired of it and go back to bed. but they know that they can come at any time. and we usually don't have problems. we just find them in the morning on the floor half the time, they don't even wake us up now. just being there in our room is good enough for them to feel secure.
you might try a bunk bed where the top bunk will cover him and make him feel more closed in and secure. like nothing can fall on him. you could also try switching rooms. or just taking down the ceiling fan until he is older. put a box fan or something else to circulate the air. i wouldn't punish him, as to him his fears are very real.....that's why mine could sleep on my floor as long as they needed to and at anytime....i didn't want to belittle their fears and make them afraid of the dark for later in life. now they all do sleep in their own beds, except youngest with bad dreams which are about 1 every two weeks.
good luck,
L.

I would probably explain that he is getting to be a big boy and that it is time to move back into his room (which I'm sure you have done). Then have your husband lift him up and let him with his 3-year old strength pull on the motor part of the fan so he will "feel" that it is really secure. Tell him that this week he can go to sleep in his brothers room but that you are going to move him into his room after he is asleep. Then carry him to his own bed after he is asleep and he will begin waking up in his own room in the morning after having spent a "safe" night there. I don't have any experience just like yours to draw on...just think this is what I would try. My daughter used to come to my bed when she would have nightmares or there would be a storm. I would cuddle her and comfort her and explain about thunder/lightening/distance and such and we would count how far away the lightening was and then in 5-10 minutes I would walk her back to her own bed. That always seemed to work.

We had the problem of our child wanting to sleep in our room. First we completely remodeled his room (new paint, bedding, whatever you can afford). We let him choose the colors etc. Then we put in a baby monitor so we could hear him and showed him that we would be able to hear him if he hollered (so he wouldn't wake his older brother). Then we sat beside his bed (or laid down on the bed if it is full-sized) until he fell asleep. Then after a week, it was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Then a week later, moved the chair further away. We kept doing that until finally, we were sitting outside the bedroom door. He is now 8 and has been sleeping fine for many years. He still has the monitor in his room but we usually only need it when he is sick. I wouldn't let him sleep with his older borther anymore because the 10 yr old needs a good nights rest for TAKS tests and school. Hope this helps.

Would it be possible for you to switch their rooms? If your ten year old is willing, and he might be if you tell him this may be the only way to get his room back, then it might allow your 3 year old to feel safe. Other than that I'm not sure because it sounds like you've tried a lot of other great things. Good luck!
M.

I agree with what several others have suggested. Maybe you need to try a combination of suggestions. Does he play in his bedroom during the day. If he does, then I would first try having the 10 year old sleep in his room. If that works, then maybe the 10 year old can leave in the middle of the night and you can praise him in the morning. You might also want to try removing the ceiling fan for a while, if you are not using it. If that does not work, then I would try switching rooms with the boys. If the 10 year old really wants his room back, then I don't think he will mind the swith. I know it is not easy. My sister was a single mom and put to bed for her last 4 months of pregnancy. We moved her into my oldest daughters room (who was then 6). She moved into the couch in our room. She became very comfortable in our room and it took almost a year to get her back. We finally told her that when she reached 8 she could no longer sleep w/ us and that worked. Good luck.

I can't really talk, my 3 year old won't sleep in her own bed either-with her sisters in the same room! She still get's in ours and it's driving me crazy! I've bought her a cute bed set, and this week are are biting the bullet and making her sleep there-no choice. It's going to be heck, but like any habit we break them of, it's only for a few days. Since I'm on break from school for a week-I can get a few restless nights in and just decided to do it. Maybe you should remove his ceiling fan all together? I mean you're leaving it off anyway for him when you try in his room. Just put a light there, it's pretty easy to do. That would scare me too! I guess you just have to be a 'mean mom' for a few nights, and keep reinforcing it. Walk him back when he gets out and reassure him it's ok. Does he have a night light? Maybe a trip to the store to let him pick one out for himself would be an inspiration. Well, good luck I know I'm needing it myself! :-)

B.....Maybe you could have the 10 yr old set up one of those small indoor tents in your sons room and make the weekend a fun indoor camping adventure. They can make smores, or popcorn, and eat in the tent, read stories..ect..We did the tent thing for a while with my youngest...We had to start out in the living room and then move to her room, but it worked and later turned into an occs. treat she earned, or used for sleepovers with friends. Hope this helps!

I had a similiar problems, my doctor's advice was to lay down with my son until he falls asleep. This worked some of the time. Many times we would let him fall asleep in our room then move him to his bed. He began falling asleep on the couch and we moved him sometimes others we let him sleep there.
The event that changed his attitude about his room was a sleep over (he was older at this point). We built a tent in his room for the occasion and stocked it with goodies and toys and a little TV, there was no getting them out of his room. He had the peer pressure of how cool his room was and he had a differ attitude from then on. Maybe it was age or the time passing from the experience but peer pressure saved the day.

Is it possible for the boys to switch rooms?