Bring a Gift or Not?

I agree that you could get something that would work for all the kids. Perhaps a gift card to a local waterpark, indoor inflatable jumping place, or tickets to the zoo.

Given that they have 3 kids all close in age they probably have more "stuff" and toys than they can imagine and really don't want or need to be inundated with more right now. If you did want to get something go with things that won't be around long like bubble blow, sidewalk chalk, crayons/coloring book or get something nice like a book for each of them. My kids love their books and those stay neat on the shelves!

It means that the parents don't expect you to go out and buy 3 gifts.
There will probably be gifts given by some.. but you don't need to do it.

If it were me, I would try to figure out something that all 3 kids could enjoy and give it to them together. There ages are pretty close so you should be able to come up with something. Summer is almost here... a beach towel for each and a pair of goggles or bottle of sunscreen might be something mom would like for them!
just me.

Call her and tell her the kids really want to give the boys something and is there anything at all you can bring. She might open up and tell why they don't want gifts or at least what her thoughts are on the topic. Our kids have way too many toys and I get so tired of the cheap dollar store toys that just fall aprt the next day.

I would bring a gift anyway but it would be something small like maybe a book for each of them or a couple of match box cars. I suspect, given todays economic situation, maybe the parent wrote down that "gifts are not necessary" so as not to burden everyone with the expense of buying 3 gifts at once or maybe these parents are not in a good situation financially so this is their way of trying to minimize the amount they will have to spend for other children's birthday gifts down the line. But I would still buy the boys a little something because it's just nice to receive gifts, especially when you are 2, 3 and 5.

I always put 'your presence is present enough' on my kids party invitations, simply because there have been times they have had to miss parties because I hadn't budgeted for a gift that month. I would rather their friends be able to come w/o a present than not at all...

That means "Gifts are not necessary". Its another way of saying we'd rather have you and your kids there, than not there if the difference is a gift.

All my kids are now grown and out of the house. When they were little, I would shop the after Christmas sales and buy most of the presents they would need for the birthday parties they would be invited to over the course of a year. They had something nice to take with them and I could afford it. (Paying 25 cents to 50 cents on the dollar helps tremendously.)

A toy or game all three could enjoy would be a nice gift. So would a children's DVD. Amazon has a video section where you can buy used DVD's, often for less than $5.

I agree with Victoria a group gift would be great.. Maybe a water toy that hooks up to a water hose.. Like a water sprayer for kids..

If they were older I would suggest a DVD, a Board game or outdoor toy they could all enjoy..

I think I would call and find out what the nature behind the quote is. You could offer to bring something for the entire party such as a little token bag or something. How about some little snack. At my friend's party who has the "No gift you being there is gift enough" mentality; I suggested to her all the kids bring a $10 gift to exchange in a game.... The kids had a blast and their was there goody bag. She has used it every year since. At my daughter's party; I suggested everyone bring a food shelf item. That way we collected stuff, the kids came with stuff and I did not get all of the extra toys.

I would get them one thing they can all use. They sell neat water sprinklers at Target. I would say water guns, but you never know how people will react to that. Maybe a big bucket of sidewalk chalk?

I would. It would be different if the kids weren't so young, but birthday parties for them are all about the gifts!

Do you know how many people are attending the party? It may have been the parents' way of trying to cut down on the stuff that comes into the house. I've had parties with 20 kids there, and we really just do not need 20 gifts of any sort! For 3 kids, that would mean 60 new toys! My daughter enjoys her friends' company but she can't even really appreciate that many gifts, and I hate for people to go through the time and expense of picking something out. If you know the family really well, and just can't imagine not getting the kids something, maybe do a gift like tickets to a museum or admission to the local pool or a bookstore gift card or whatever, but otherwise I think you're safe not bringing a gift.

My first thoughts about this are the economy. They probably want to have a celebration/party, but don't want people to feel compelled to purchase a gift when so many people are experiencing hard times.

It may also be possible they don't have room in their home for 3x more toys. I know for my little girls birthday, I told her she had to get rid of things and she never did. Now we are up to our ears with barbies!

I agree with the other two posters however I would wrap them separately. swim stuff for summer is always a hit. outdoor play stuff is good. sidewalk chalk, sprinkler for the yard t-ball stuff, a basket ball, fat tonka trunks or cars anything they can play with. on a different note entirely. inside the house stuff is good too. most of the stores have matching towel/washrag sets and then in the soap/shampoo area there is bubble bath and body wash, toothbrushes etc. those things my grandchildren love. board games are good too if you know of any they don't have. chutes and ladders, candy land, sorry etc...

You could also donate a sum of money in the three boys' names to a local children's charity. Most people will probably bring gifts but this way it does cut down on stuff in their house and you are still doing something thoughtful.

I think it is a bigger dilemna because now you may bring a gift and the other kids that didn't may now feel ackward.

Here's a thought. Bring two cards. One with great words but perhaps an invitation for you guys to get together for a movie or jump place -- or not. Bring another card with a gift certificate in it to a book/music store. Then, if others bring a gift, you can use that one instead -- or give it to the parent afterwards in private -- or not. Depends on how it looks and feels. If you don't end up giving it, you can always use it. All three boys can enjoy one book or one cd or dvd.

There is no way I would show up at a party without a gift. One gift for all 3 to use together, or a small token gift for each (like hot wheel cars)... But walking into a party empty handed is not something I personally would do.

Such great answers!!! I'd say no need for the gift. If you wanted to get them like everyone has said like bubbles or I was thinking each of them the dollar amount that they are of age.

Since they are doing a party for three kids at once I would guess that they are more interested in everyone comming and not avoiding the party because they can't afford to buy three gifts. If it was me - would buy a joint present that all three boys can enjoy or do together. A cheap idea is a bucket full of outside toys(chalk, bubbles, balls, ect) a medium priced gift of Mc Donalds gift certificates (happy meals, playland time, break for mom), or a nicer present (zoo pass/tickets or season pass to local pools: here that only costs about $50). Just some ideas. A movie night basket (movie, microwave popcorn, plastic popcorn buckets (dollar section at Target), some movie candy, and some juice boxes might fit the family too.

When I put that on our invitations it's meant to imply,

You may bring a gift if you wish, however, if you would rather not - we'd just love to have you come and hang out.

it's meant to take the awkwardness out of people not being able to afford a gift but would like to come. Plus I belong to a HUGE mom's group....and if they all brought a gift that would be 25+ right there, not including other friends and family.

And there is no way we could afford 40+ presents to give back to each of them.

But if you put "no gifts" then it makes everyone feel awkward if someone does bring a gift. And there are certain people that want to bring gifts (aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends, etc.)

So really I use it to kind of give everyone a choice.

It is optional, meaning that it would be nice but don't feel that you have to go out and buy 3 gifts. I would say it all depends on how well and close you are to the family. Personally I would buy 3 little small gifts for them. The parents probably did this so that people wouldn't feel obiligated to buy 3 gifts and the expense of all of it.