Breastfeeding Difficulties

I had this same problem and sorry to say had to put all three of my girls on formula. Does she take her formula ok? Sometimes it is better to go with your gut instinct on things. Better to have her on formula and gaining healthy wait, not to mention your and Dad's sanity in tact, than have her fail to thrive. If your Dr. is so set against it you may want to look into a new Dr. Think of your daughter. What is best for her and go with what you feel is best for her. Remember 20 years ago Doctors were telling mothers to give their babys whiskey for tummy aches and cigerette smoke in the ears for ear aches. Doctors are not always right, go with what is best for baby.

It took a while for my son and I to get the hang of breast feeding. If you have to supplement with a bottle every now and then while things are getting going, don't beat yourself up about it. Once the baby realizes the joys of breast feeding, it is likely she will never want a bottle again. My lactation nurse said to try pumping a little to get the milk going so that my son didn't have to work so hard (in the beginning - later it would shoot out whenever I heard him cry). Chances are your milk comes down slow because you are still recovering from the c-section. I don't want to be too judgemental about your loved ones but they should know that it really isn't helpful to critisize mom about the breastfeeding thing. Most women who stop breast feeding do so because they are frustrated and don't have a good support network in place. Part of supporting the mom is not making her feel guilty for whatever she needs to do. You obviously are very concerned about doing the best for your baby and that is the important thing. A great resource are the volunteers for La Leche League. You can find a local person online. My son went through a nursing strike when he was 10 months old and they got me through it. He went back to breastfeeding until he weaned himself at 19 months.
I worked thorugh a lot of issues with breastfeeding and am happy to share my experiences if you want to know.
I hope it gets easier for you soon. Good Luck!

I had similar problems with my son. I was lucky I had a lactation consultant up at Portland Adventist help us. It was a long road but it helps. I know it can be very frustrating but they can help. It's what they are there for. I had to pump, use suppliments and different positions. Also my son had acid reflux and had problems at first with my breast milk. That may be something to bring up your daughters pediatric doctor. Good Luck. And I know it's a hard long road but it's worth it once you both get it down.

Great responses so far. If you are determined to make this work (if you truely want to breastfeed your baby), you need to RELAX about the whole thing! Stay in bed for a day (or in your jammies around the house, on the couch or wherever) and just nurse when she seems like she's hungry. Lip smacking is a good clue or rooting like she is trying to find a breast (on anyone). Try laying down on your side facing her (can be hard, I couldn't master this for 3 months!) or put the pillow on your side and nurse her in the football hold with her feet under your armpit. You have to be relaxed to let the milk flow, make a nursing area (glider, or a certain chair) with a place for your water, snacks, a good book, the tv remote... Just sit there and ignore all the other things you'd like to be doing like cleaning the house or working on whatever. Your sole job for the next 3 months (at least!) should be to take care of your baby and meet her needs. :)

Get someone else to clean your house! Ask friends to bring you food if they ask what you need! Maybe with the pressure off, you can relax enough to make this work!

That said, I will second what someone else said that your baby could be allergic to something you are eating. Mine was allergic to dairy. That means YOU need to stop eating dairy! That is actually one of the most common allergies in babies, so without a Dr diagnosing it, you can elliminate all dairy from your diet and see if she eats better and stops spitting up. She may be spitting up because she is anxious for the milk to come in and is sucking down too much air before you let down. But she could be allergic. Substitute soy milk for regular milk (costco has it cheap) and the Vanilla flavor is sweet. Stop eating cheese, yogurt, and ice cream, too. If this works and she eats better you can find soy versions of these if they are part of your normal diet and you would miss them! That is worth a try!

Plus, you should ALWAYS have a water bottle in your hand, especially while you are nursing! Keep hydrated and keep the body making milk! Eat healthy and if your husband wants to help when you are nursing, have him bring you water and food. It is perfectly ok to snack all day as long as it's not junk, because you are feeding 2 still and need the extra calories like when you were pregnant. Plan on doing this as long as you are nursing!

Your hubby doesn't really need to get up with you during the night. At least someone could be rested. Let your baby sleep with you too! Best thing I ever did! It makes nursing on demand so easy. Don't listen to what anyone says and try it. If she gets fed when she's hungry, she may even sleep longer, but either way at least you are not fully waking up each time.

If it is painful, she may have a bad latch. That can really ruin it for you! Make sure her upper lip is not tucked under, you can pull it up if you can't see it and make sure she looks like a fish. That is usually how you can tell a bad latch.

I hope you get the answers you need. I wholy support breastfeeding as it leads to healthier babies and a healthier society on the whole. I wish you the best! Now go enjoy motherhood!

HI A.,

I AM THE MOTHER OF 5 CHILDREN AND THEREFORE, HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF BREASTFEEDING MORE THAN ONCE. WITH MY FIRST, I INCURRED THE SAME DIFFICULTIES AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. BREASTFEEDING TURNED OUT TO BE STRESSFUL AND EXHAUSTING BOTH FOR ME AND MY SON. EVEN AFTER WORKING WITH LACTACTION CONSULTANTS, THE PEDIATRICIAN, ETC, WE STILL COULDN'T MAKE IT WORK. I THEN DECIDED THAT TO GO WITH FORMULA AND TODAY HE'S A HAPPY, HEALTHY, 11 YEAR OLD.
ALTHOUGH BREASTFEEDING IS THE HEALTHIEST FORM OF NUTRITION FOR YOUR BABY, IT MAY NOT BE THE BEST OPTION FOR YOU BOTH. DON'T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR VENTURING TOWARD FORMULA. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU ARE ENJOYING MOTHERHOOD, YOUR BABY IS HAPPY AND HEALTHY, AND YOU ARE NOT STRESSED.
I DID GO ON TO BREASTFEED MY 2ND AND 5TH CHILDREN SUCCESSFULLY FOR ALMOST A FULL YEAR. (MY 3 AND 4TH CHILDREN ARE ADOPTED) NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE TO DO YOUR BABY WILL BE FINE!!

A.,

i am glad you took the time to post a request for advice. many women give up breastfeeding too easily, especially if they are not receiving the best support. you have gotten some great advice so far from these other ladies and having the appointment with a lactation specialist will do wonders for you. my first child nursed like a pro from day one. my second on the other hand just couldn't latch properly. for two weeks i struggled until i found a specialist. she will show you what you're doing right and help you with what is wrong. a total lifesaver! just remember too, the only way to produce more milk (aside from meds) is to nurse more. if she isn't feeding and you have some spare time, try pumping while looking at your daughter. that can help to stimulate more milk supply. don't give up. it will come in and in no time you won't believe how much your daughter is getting from you. good luck!

K.

A.,

First of all, take a deep breath. LOL Being a new parent is the hardest thing in the world. Throw in some breastfeeding difficulties (just because it is natural doesn't mean it is easy) and your stress level skyrockets. My first son was a screamer too. We ended up going to an every 2 hour schedule - I would feed him every two hours all day long. If he got overly hungry, he would just scream and scream and scream and that makes it hard for them to breastfeed. Second, get a decent pump. You can likely rent a hospital grade one at the hospital you delivered at or you can go to www.medela.com and there is a search engine to find a rental place near you. If you are doing a big amount of supplementing and not pumping adequately you will lose your milk supply really quickly. Next, meet with the LC as much as you need to to help you figure it out. Also, join the yahoo groups PumpMoms. Those ladies are an absolute lifesaver. It is so nice to connect with other women who are going through the same things you are... and maybe even a few who have worked through it...

Good luck to you!
:-)T.
mama to Cole 9-11-03(pumped for work 16 months, breasfed 23 months)
and Wyat 10-14-06 (mainly bfing but also pumping in prep for going back to work)

I have also had trouble nursing 8 babies, but the last one was the greatest experience for several reasons:
they gave me Domperidon pills to make my milk come in; AND I used an SNS, which is a supplemental nurser (in pharmacy at hospital) where you put in formula in the bottle part, and there are tubes, or straws you tape next to your nipple and as you nurse she gets the extra formula too and it stimulates milk production. TRY IT!! it is soooo worth it!!! all the best

Oh, I feel your pain!! I had difficulties breastfeeding my son from the very beginning. Four lacation consultants and nothing helped. I ended up bottle feeding him (and felt like a failure at first). But in the long run, it worked out well, he was extremely healthy, gained plenty of weight and it was nice to have others be able to feed him. But I was able to breastfeed my second baby, a girl, until she was 13-months old (and only supplimented with bottles on a rare occassion).

You mentioned she gets upset, you could try looking for early cues to hunger (smacking lips, rooting, sucking on her hands) or trying to calm her down and then really quickly getting her to your breast. If she gets worked up again, just calm her down and try again.

Have you tried pumping your milk? You can rent hospital grade pumps or do what I did and pump by hand. She could be getting frustrated because the milk doesn't flow as quickly as a bottle and it does take a few suckles to get the milk to let down. You could try hand expressing a bit before a feeding so there is some instant gratification for your baby.

I didn't have a c-section, but I've heard nursing pillows (or a Boppy) work well to help keep the weight of the baby off the incision or just try regular bed pillows. Or try feeding her laying down on your side with her snuggled right up against you on her side.

My advice would be to not give up on breastfeeding if it's really something you are committed to doing. It took my daugher and my 3 months to develop a good breastfeeding rhythm where it was easy and comfortable. I always feel like I gave up too soon with my son. And if you are okay with bottle feeding, then try not to worry about what others say (and they will!) and you shouldn't feel guilty for choosing to bottle feed. Lots of babies are bottle fed and are perfectly healthy, happy and attached to their moms! Having had two children that each went a different route with feeding, I can tell you that I was happy with both of the outcomes of both breast and bottle feeding. You have to do what's right for you and your baby. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I'm curious to find out how this all works out for you, so send me a personal message if you'd like.

Good luck! And be happy and ENJOY your daughter. She won't be little for long and how you fed her won't really matter in the long run.

I had problems nursing when my son was born I also had a c-section so I know your pain. A boppy pillow helped alot with that. My doctor told me to use a nipple shield and that helped alot to get my son to latch on you can get them at target I got my first one from my doctor. Just hang in there and know that just because you are having problems or even if you decied to just bottle feed you are not a bad mom like people seem to make it out to be for not breastfeeding. hope it gets better for you.

When my son was first born I had planned on strictly breastfeeding. I had so much trouble. The nurse in the hospital told me I probably wouldn't be able to since my nipples were flat. I couldn't get him to latch on because he was so hungry by the time I nursed him. It seemed like I had no milk. I dediced to supplement bottles of formula which made it worse and continued to decrease my milk supply.

About 2 weeks later after still attempting to nurse I finally said that I was going to make it work. I nursed my son almost every hour to hour and a half for about 2 days and drank tons of water. Finally my milk supply increased and he was able to nurse and be happly.

You have to be determined to make it work. It's not easy. I would nurse your baby frequently. Also make sure that she is latched on properly. If she isn't it can be painful. If you are in the Las Vegas area you can contact Family to Family and they also have a lactation consultant that will help you for free. They don't charge for any of the services and they are affiliated with St. Rose Hospitals.

I wish you luck and don't give up because it's worth it.

Hello A.,
It looks like everyone has covered everything. One of the respondants did write to feed her before she is hungry. I will add to that, I didn't realize when I was nursing my newborn that they give you signs they are hungry when awake and sleeping. They starting opening their mouth, which I mistook for play. Try to watch your baby for signs and try to respond with feeding before baby is crying or fussing. I know it is difficult to listen to everyone fussing at you about how you feed your baby, but they think they are supporting you. Not much you can do there until you get tired of them and ask them to stop. My family as most were not very supportive and often tried to give the baby a bottle. It was a lot of nerve racking arguments. Hang in there it will get better, it just takes a while for everyone to settle down including mama and baby.

Hi. I would try breastfeeding before she gets hungry. A lot of times, they are too hungry by the time we start to feed them. Also if you have a breast pump, try pumping and feed her that way. There is nothing wrong with the bottle, if you're pumping breastmilk into it. Try to relax when you feed her because the abby can sense that your nervous, and he/she will also tense up. Try playing soft music, in a dark room, and maybe that will help them relax. Breastfeeing should be calm. Don't worry, it is very hard work to breastfeed, and in a week or 2, you will be doing laundry and breastfeeding at the same time. Good Luck to you!

I feel you pain! It is hard when breastfeeding does not come as easily as you anticipated it may be. I tried all avenues: lactation consultants, La Leche League, pumping (electric and manual)....The final straw for me was going in for her 6 week visit and finding out that she had lost 7 ounces (in two weeks). My doctor told me to go home and continue to try and breastfeed over the weekend and they would evaluate on the Monday. That is when I decided to trust my own instincts and start supplementing with formula. For me it was 6 exhausting weeks of pain, worry and feeling my baby wasn't getting enough (she would cry and cry and never seemed satiated). After beginning supplementing things were a world better for me. I didn't have to stress so much about work (I didn't have maternity leave and had to go back part time after only a month). The most important advice I got from a lactation consultant was, Rule #1...FEED YOUR BABY. However you decide to do that is YOUR choice. It is unfortunate that there was little support for breastfeeding for so many years and now the same is true for formula feeding. I wish we could all just agree that the most important thing is a healthy baby and a happy mommy. I wish you the best of luck and hope you know that if you do choose to bottle feed YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Take care!

Good job on not giving up the best advice i have is relax and drink lots of water. Water help you keep your milk coming. I had a c-section and I would lay down on my side, if your breasts are large enough. again good job keep your head up and dont feel bad about suppplementing.

S.

Call your local La Leche League leaders
ASAP and the lactation consultant at your hospital or another in your area. To find the La Leche leaders in your area go to Google and search La Leche League. It should be the first hit you get. Under the main link you can enter there are sublinks and one says Groups/ Affiliates. Go there select United States , your state and so on. Probably there will be more than one leader in your area. Get all the phone numbers and start calling until you get someone who can help you. Lactation consultants tend to not be as available depending on your location. But I found that I called a couple different La Leche leaders and the lactation consultant and got enough varied info that it was worth calling more than one. You need immediate help so as not to lose your milk supply, etc. Hang in there you are doing a great thing for your baby.

Good luck!

Also if you feel like your milk supply is low, try eating oatmeal and then trying to nurse a half hour later. There is something in oatmeal that helps make more milk. Also lots and lots of water. If you aren't hydrated then you won't make enough milk. Another source is kellymom.com . It is a website that has lots of information on BF. Also I just got a "Brest Friend" pillow that is similar to the boppy pillow. It is so great. The boppy never worked for me because it would just move away from my body. With the brest friend pillow it goes all the way around you and attaches with a clasp so it doesn't move. Very cool! I know it is hard, but at least for me it did get easier with time. It is really worth the effort IMO to get your baby the best food you can. =) Good luck!

I had a simalar problem with my son when he was first born. what i found to work for us is that i would make sure i drank as much water as i possible could. breast milk is a supply and a demand function of our bodies. If we are not demanding it then we are not going to produce it. Using supplaments for your baby is not a bad thing persay. I had to do that with my son and it really helped until i was able to gt my milk to flow like normal. that took about three days, but everytime i turned around i was drink water. if we dont have the fluid in our bodies to make the milk we are not going to have the milk. when you are nursing try laying down with your baby instead of sitting up. that will take the pressure off of your tummy from holding her. As for her throwing/ spitting up after you have nursed her take yourself off of regular milk. ALL MILK she may be lactose intolerant. My oldest was and i have to start drinking lactose free milk. once i started drink that type of milk sshe stopped spitting up and to this day she is still lactose intolerant.

Like the other posters, I had a miserable first few weeks with breastfeeding. It hurt and it felt like I did nothing else day and night!

But that passes, it really really does. The lack of supply can only be cured by letting the baby suck more. Supplementing with formula makes you produce less and it's a downward spiral.

As for constantly shifting around with pillows, I had that problem too. Know what fixed it? A boppy. Oh, that was the best $25 I ever spent, I swear! Get to Target or Babies R Us and get a Boppy! You will be SO MUCH HAPPIER. I looked at those things while I was pregnant and thought they looked stupid, but boy oh boy once I got one, I couldn't live without it.

In fact, get a cover for it too, because the day your kid's diaper fails and poop shoots over the pillow, you will have a miserable time waiting for it to be washed and dried!

Boppy Boppy Boppy. I can't stress it enough. It'll make you happy.

I just wish they had an inflatable version for travel!

I was in your spot. My early days of nursing were disasterous at best. What I really recommend is you just laying with baby in bed, for the day. Lay topless and let her nurse at will. This skin to skin contact will boost your supply. Every time you supplement with a bottle, you comprimise your own supply, so while you think you are doing the best thing, you are harming your supply.

The first 6 weeks are very tough in a nursing relationship. I really recommend gettng to Le Leche League or calling a lacation consultant. Both were godsends to me.

Like I said, our nursing days early on were a disaster... but we made it to 33 months of nursing. So we obviously got through the rough patches :)

Hang in there mama.... you will make it.

Nursing for us was difficult a first too. I had sore nipples and even a couple breast infections in the first few months. Breast feeding can be a very mental thing. You need to be relaxed and comfortable for your milk to let down. Maybe that is why it happens after you give her a bottle, because you are not as stressed about her eating. I loved the side-lying position because I could lie down, relax and just let her nurse. For the first few weeks she nursed all the time, like hourly. It helped increase my milk supply and we had lots of chances to practice. Try not to let other people make you feel bad. We are the mothers and we all make our own choices for what we feel is best for our children. Trust your instincts, relax, and enjoy your sweet new baby girl.

Have you tried nursing her before she shows signs that she's hungry? Try to catch her before she gets frantically hungry since it's obviously hard to eat when she's upset. Maybe try offering her your breast when she just wakes up since hunger might be what wakes her up and babies usually nurse well when they're kinda sleepy. Also, watch the clock and keep a journal of how often she eats and try to feed her when you think it might be time, but before she shows any outward signs. Offer her your breast often and try not to worry so much about how much she's getting. Your body will adjust to her demands. You're still really early in the game and you two will get into synch with one another in the days and weeks to come, you'll be amazed! Breastfeeding is hard (I never expected what a struggle it could be) but don't give up! It's the best thing you can do for your baby.

As far as bottle-feeding... Are you pumping or using formula?

I have 2 year old twin boys. When they were born I was determined to nurse both of them.I was told that it was entirely possible to make enough for both of them, and that my body would get used to the demand etc....
I nursed them the entire time I was in the hospital, and they lost more weight than they should have. Then we went home and I was constantly nursing. I was so stressed that it got to where I didn't even want to see my precious boys. One night I broke down crying, and my Husband and Mom each took one baby, told me to go lay down, and they fed them formula from bottles. That was the best thing they could have done for me. I was only able to nurse them for a week, but after they went on formula, they gained weight and were much happier. And I was a much happier not stressed out mommy. Now they are perfectly healthy little boys.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for not nursing. Sure, it is the ideal situation, but your baby will be healthy and happy on the bottle, if that is what you choose to do. If YOU really want to keep nursing for your own reasons, not for what other people will think, then you could follow the advice of the other ladies here and consult a lactation specialist. I did that and she was very helpful. It just turned out that nursing wasn't for us. I hope that you pick the right path for you and your baby girl. She sounds precious!
Good luck to you!

Keep your head up and do not allow anyone to condem you for supplementing. I could not produce enough milk for my son. I ended up formula feeding until I found a source to actually buy breastmilk from - it is in Utah if you are interested. Your doctor can probably give you the information if you need it.

There are so many alternatives, and formula has come a long way. Try pumping so in those frantic moments you have a bottle of breastmilk for your little one. Good luck!