Birthday Invites - King of Prussia,PA

Are you inviting the other 11 kids to his party? If you are then you should invite that kid. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean you have make him feel bad and excluded.

I agree with Birds's suggestion of looking at the overall dynamic. To invite the entire group and exclude one child only is unkind; if you were keeping the party small, then be discreet (mail invites) and no, he wouldn't need to be invited.

I also find that it helps to be friendly but firm and make expectations clear beforehand if there is a behavior issue. I will say this as the kid who went to 14 different schools-- it is REALLY stinkin' hard to be the new kid and when you get ignored by the other kids (esp. at kindergarten age) it's difficult for him to be the bigger person and be cool with being left out. Or he may just have a very unpleasant home life and this is reflected in his behavior. Not excusing it... just sounds sad that parents are all telling each other they don't like the kid.

If you are inviting the whole class then you need to include him.
If he is only inviting 4 or 5 kids then you do not.

Yes. I think you should invite him.
It would be cruel to exclude O. kid from the class.

Yes, invite all 12 kids to the party. Maybe if he comes to the party the other kids will come around and not make him feel like an outsider. I could never hurt a child's feelings like that. All the other kids would be talking about the party once it was over, and I can only imagine the rejection that boy would feel inside. I could not live with myself doing that to a child.

You can't leave one child out and invite the entire rest of the class. Put your self in not only that child's shoes but his MOM's shoes were she to ever find out. Very mean.

Sorry..I am gonna say you should invite all.

Maybe this boy needs some friends and he will temper his not so glowing traits.

Sounds like he came into a tight knit group. And his parents came into a tight knit group of parents. That is hard on anyone....let alone a kid. Be gracious and invite the poor kid. He won't become YOUR kids best friend...but the kid might just feel he finally has a friend.

Good luck and best wishes...

If you are only inviting part of the class, than no, you don't have to invite him. But, if you are inviting the entire class, yes you do need to invite him. It would be rude and hurt horribly to know that you are the only kid not invited to a party.

These are the lessons we teach our kids, be kind even to those who don't deserve it because someday you won't deserve it either and you will want others to be kind to you.

Sorry, you need to invite him. Not inviting him would be cruel. I am sure you would not like it if someone did that to your son.

If you are inviting the rest of the class it would be just mean not to invite him. Maybe rather then helping your kid exclude the new kid you could use this as a teaching tool to show how we should try to make everyone feel included and wanted.

Sounds like the little boy who came mid year in my sons first grade class last year. He had a really tough time coming from public school to private, all the kids had been together since kindergarten, just really stuggled to find his place. Long story short they are in second grade and he is doing much better. I say invite him. Who knows he may surprise you.
Just a thought.
Good luck and many blessings

Include this child, it my be the best thing you have done for your child as far as teaching him about hurting others and/or bullying. At this age, there could be any number of reasons WHY? However age five or six is far too young for you or other adults to be judging this child so harshly.

His parents may not accept the invitation, but if they do, it could be a growing opportunity for all concerned.

So a new kid is not liked by everyone and we want to exclude him further but inviting the whole class but him? I think instead of excluding him this would be a good opportunity to meet the parents and the child. See where you can take a hand and help him be more accepted by his peers.. Must be pretty lonely for him if his whole class hates him. Poor kid.

What does your son want?
What do you want your son to learn?

If you don't invite the entire class, most schools ask that you mail the invites. You don't have to, but you would look like the bigger person.

There is a boy in my son's class that nobody likes. Nobody invites him to anything--he is in trouble all the time! I started talking to his mom here and there and this boy has had a rough start in life--he just needs a break. Maybe your trouble maker does too:)

If you are only inviting a few from the class no but if you are inviting all of them yes. More than likely if they are not friends he wont want to come. Maybe he dosn't feel a part of them since he's only been there for a short time. Sometimes it's hard to be the outsider!!!

I see where you are coming from, but think about this. How would you feel if your son was the only one not invited?

Yes, please knowingly and intentionally do something to hurt the feelings of one little 5-year old boy and invite everyone but him.

Please put yourself in that other Mom's place and imagine drying the tears of your little boy because another Mom did something so horribly insensitive. How would you explain this hurtful exclusion to your little boy?

If this boy is as horrible as you say, he probably won't show up anyway.

I had the same problem for my son's last year. I did invite that boy and he didn't show up. I am sure it will hurt his feeling if you don't invite him.

Seems mean to exclude him.

I don't think inviting the whole class is ever necessary. I have only ever invited the kids my son likes and plays with. However, I don't think you can invite all but one. I know how much it sucks to invite someone neither you nor your kid likes, but in this case, I think you have to just do it. Sorry!!!

If you are inviting all the other kids in the class, he needs to be invited. If you are only inviting a few from the class, you don't need to invite him.

Instead of inviting the whole class, how about just inviting his friends?
Is that a novel idea in this day and age?

I have 2 kids that are now 6 and 10.
Ever since they were in school, per any b-day parties we have for them, we only invite, their friends. With them, we make the list to invite. They tell me, who their friends are. We have NEVER... invited an entire class.
And we also go by, how many we, want to invite over.
So say, under 10 kids. And we tell our kids this, and per budget.

Per my kids' Teachers.... at NO time, does my kids, hand out the invites themselves. Nor do I, nor do I do it in front of the class.

Per all my kids' Teachers... ANY invites, are to be given to the Teacher, ONLY. THEN, the Teacher herself, will put it in the students classroom mailboxes... for it to go home. IF a kid asks what it is, the Teacher says it is for the parent. It is personal.
I have never had a problem, doing this, nor my kids' Teachers, and at no time did we ever invite an entire class.

Your issue is whether or not to invite that one kid, that you and your son does not like.
But to me, you have to decide, if you only invite a handful of kids that are your son's best friends... or invite the whole, class.
Kids... talk. And they will tell others about the party, or ask "were you invited to Johnny's party?"
Or, at least in my kids' classes, the parents are very good about discretion... and they tell their kids NOT to tell anyone about it, it is private etc. because other kids may get hurt feelings if they were not invited. My son is in 1st grade, and has been to parties this year where not all the kids were invited, and it was fine. My kids as well, there were times they were not invited to a kid's party... and they don't get bothered by it. They don't take it personally etc.

As a parent, you do not HAVE to like all kids. And, not all kids will like all kids, either. It just is.
Or, perhaps you can ask your son's Teacher... for tips about how to go about this... and to find out why the boy is so disliked and explain your conundrum to the Teacher.

Again, per my kids and any parties they have... we always only invite, their friends. Their closest, friends. At no time is it the ENTIRE classroom. We always have a certain amount/limit, per how many we invite anyway, due to budget etc.

Per that boy that nobody likes... well, maybe it is just because he is "new?" If there is no extenuating circumstances about the boy, and it is just because he is "new" to the school, and has only been in class a few months... versus all the other kids have been together a few years now... then look at it this way: that boy... will STILL always be, the "new" kid.... no matter what... and he can never, be... a long timer there.
He can't do anything, about that.
Its not his fault, that he is the "new" kid.
And who's to know, if he still goes to 1st grade at that school or not?

Did you ask your son, WHY no one likes the boy?
Is he a troublemaker?
Or it is just because he is "new" and he therefore is not in, with the other kids?

Invite to the party the people you/your son wants there. That's the very strict general rule that I like. That said, here are some other thoughts:

1. Why does no one like this kid? You say that he's new. That means nobody knows him yet, so nobody knows why he is being unlikable. You have no idea how being new might be affecting him. Add to that having him learn that EVERY OTHER KID IN CLASS was invited to a birthday party, and you are feeding the beast. I am the last person to suggest a pity invitation, but one purpose of these small, intimate, private classes is to foster camaraderie among the classmates. That assumes being inclusive.

2. Of course, it's important for children to make their own friends. There are times, however, when parents should intervene. I remember when I went into middle school and I was moving away from elementary school friends. My father pulled me aside and put a bug in my ear. He told me that I was at the age when I was learning what real friendship is and needed to pay attention to how I related to people and who I held on to. He suggested that I not let go of one particular girl who is still a very close friend to me. I think that it would be wise for you to invite this child to spend time with your child. Right now, you all are ostracizing him, and that goes against the whole purpose of having your child in this class.

Sorry that you don't want to hear that.

You need to invite him. Whatever he is doing is not his fault, it should be addressed by his teachers and parents. He probably won't come, anyways. If you don't invite him, and all of the other kids talk about the great time they had, you will be guilty to adding to his troubles IMHO.

I would invite all. If you choose to select (the others except him), I would be very discrete.

Is there a reason you do not like a child. Does he hit more than the other kids hit?

Hey, I love your mall there! I used to work in Princeton and met friends for dinner over there on the other side of the "rivah".

No advice about the bday invites...just wanted to give a shout out to KoP!