My son had his 1st bday party back in Feb. I invited 22 kids 20 showed up. Now its time for one of the two kids that didn't show up, to have his party. I will attend, because it would be childish not to. My question is, how generous should I be with the gift?
Lol. No I'm not resentful. But, I did receive a call from the parent the day before the party stating," Yes we'll be there! We bought him a gift and everything", then just didn't show up. No call or anything. That to me is a bit tacky, but I'm not that way, that's why I will definately be attending.
Invitations are just that, -invitations not obligations. .
As far as the present , how generous do you want to be?
Give the same kind of gift you would give to any one year old. I normally spend about $10-$15 on gifts.
And, from the tone of your post, are you resentful that the child did not come to the party? If so, I think that is silly. Not everyone can go to every party - and its super hard to schedule/make it to every party when small children with nap schedules are mixed in.
I agree with Leslie D. It is hard to schedule a party that is convient for everyone's schedule. And, kids change everyday. Maybe the child was having a bad day and it wasn't a good idea to attend the party.
Either way, spend what you would normally spend on a 1 year old for a gift regardless of whether or not that child attended your kids party. Kids don't understand or know the difference and it seems a little insensitive to give the child a lesser gift than you would have, if he/she attended your party.
I typically spend between $10-15 for a 1 year old gift. As you know, there are so many great toys, books, and clothes you can get for that price and once again kids don't know the difference. :)
Wass the kid able to drive himself to your party? Did he have any control whether or not to make it? lol. I'm sorry, but you said it would be childish not to go. Why would it not be childish to base his gift on whether or not he showed up? Buy him what you want him to have. Base it on how good a friend he and your son are.
Wow, you're lucky 20 kids showed up for a one year-old's party. I normally don't invite kids other than family or close friends when my kids are that small, but 20 kids is a good turn-out. Now that a couple of my kids are older, we invite school friends and we usually get about 75% of the kids we invite. People are so busy with their own lives nowadays. So, if you're attending the party to avoid being childish, then you should give the birthday child the same type or value of gift that you would expect for your child.
You say that you are not resentful, but the tone of both your question and your follow-up statement indicate otherwise.
"That to me is a bit tacky, but I'm not that way, that's why I'll definitely be attending."
You're not what way? You've never had something come up? An illness? An emergency? You've never, ever forgotten to call someone to give an apology?
It sounds as if you want to show up to this party and look that parent in the face and make them feel bad for not showing up to your son's party.
Nope, not childish at all.....
Get used to no-shows... it seems to happen a whole lot. Those two children probably missed a great party! If you can let that sort of thing roll off your back, so to speak, and save your emotions for more important things, you'll have your whole family on a more even keel.
Be as generous as if the child came to your party. Whatever the reason, it's surely not the kid's fault. I'd look for something FUN, smallish, not too expensive ($10?), and not a lot of parts to keep track of. Or... if you know another child who is going, maybe you and that child's mama could go in together on a gift.
Why wouldn't you attend the party and bring a gift? Because the child didn't come to your child's birthday? Maybe something happened between the time they called and the time of the party. After all you are talking about 1 year old's. Anything could have happened. Did you try to find out why they didn't make it? Call and ask if the child was ill or injured?
Go to the party and bring the gift you would bring if that child had attended your child's party and get over it!
Buy whatever you'd buy for a kid who showed up. Not everyone you invite to a party will attend. I hope at least the parent let you know that they would not be attending. Are these friends from daycare or your friends' kids or cousins? Typically if it's school/daycare friends, when you decline the invitation to go to the party, you don't give a gift. Even if the parents showed bad manners (said they were coming, didn't show and didn't call to cancel), I would not penalize a child for that.
$15 is more than enough.
