Bell's Palsy on 11Yo Girl and Peer Pressure

My younger sister (Who is 14) just got over Bells Palsy a couple of months ago. She was already a very sensitive girl, and was already being teased constantly about her weight. But she handled it really well! Nobody teased her about the illness, that I know of. She didn't really give them a chance. Every time she laughed everybody had to laugh just because it looked so funny (Even our grandma was laughing at the image!). Which made her laugh harder because she had seen herself in a mirror and knew how she looked. I think that if your daughter can just learn to kinda laugh at the situation, she'll be fine :)

Hi K..
I had Bell's Palsy two summers ago. It came out of nowhere, and caught me completely off guard. At first I worried about how I looked, and it kind of got to me. But I started laughing the day my Dad drove me to the doctor, and tried to keep laughing until it went away. We went to the doctor's office pretty sure it was Bell's, so when he said that was what it was and wrote a couple of prescriptions, we just left the office and decided to go to McDonald's for some breakfast. We ordered the food and found a place to sit. I opened my straw and stuck it in my cup and leaned in to get a drink. I closed the working half of my mouth over the straw and tried drink... but the soda squirted out of the week side of my mouth! We both cracked up and I said, “Well, I guess straws are out for now.” I had a series of silly events happen after that and it was a riot. Everything from talking like Elmer Fudd to getting chicken up my nose… still not sure how that one happened! Let me add to this that I already wear a brace on my right knee due to an injury from a car accident and I have a little bit of a limp. I’m sure I looked a mess, but a smile… even a crooked one sided one, can get you through a lot.
We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we react to them. If you can help your daughter find a positive spin on this she will grow as a person. I joke about my leg and tell the kids at school where I work that, “I don’t limp, I swagger.”
I also think that the people who mentioned the prospect of having the teacher talk to the kids about were on the right track. Maybe though instead of having your daughter leave the room you could let her stay and help explain it. Then she could tell them how it feels and what is funny and not so funny about it.
Good luck and God bless as you help your daughter through this tough experience.
Christi

I don't know what her personality is like, but having a sense of humor about it could really help her and everyone around her feel more comfortable. My nephew had this temporary condition as well, and his sense of humor about it made people around him more comfortable knowing that he was okay with it. It is something that changes how she looks outside, but she's still the same inside, so it may be hard for her to be herself when she feels like she looks so different. By joking around with friends about it, they will be more comfortable and know better how to handle it too. Kids this age seem to tease more as a reaction to situations that make them uncomfortable, so if she pre-empts that by joking about it herself then she might help them feel more comfortable, and they will have nothing they can tease her about. Along with this, as was mentioned by others, it is probably a good idea to talk to the teacher about how your daughter would like this handled as well.
You also had a good idea to talk to her beforehand about how she might handle different situations. You could even practice with her a little so she'll be prepared. You sound like a great mom, so just follow your instincts and keep the conversation open with her about it.

I think it might be a good idea to have the teacher talk to the class. Maybe have a special reason to have your daughter leave for about 20 minutes - sent on an errand, etc., and have the class talked to. There was a boy in my class that had leukemia in 3rd grade, and while he was out with chemo/surgery we were all talked to about it. People could ask questions of the teacher and your daughter could let the teacher know if she is okay with people asking her questions if she would rather they pretend she doesn't have it, etc.

You know, sometimes if you speak to the Teacher, the Teacher can, as a class, talk about how to treat others, in light of things, WITHOUT ostracizing the child.
That is what my daughter's Teachers have done in the past, for a variety of reasons. The Teacher, is also a "leader" in this.

Also, just leaving it up to her, for thinking about what she will do if she is confronted with a situation... can just be overwhelming for a teen. They don't know what may happen or not, nor how to handle it. So... give her actual replies she can say, tell her what she can do if she is picked on (ie: telling the Teacher, going to play with someone else), that her friends are also comrades and can help her.... if her friends are there for her, then other kids may not be as likely to pick on her, that her friends if she talks to them can stick up for her too etc. Give her CONCRETE "solutions" to it and scenarios. A kid/teen... can't possibly know what will arise, hence she may not even come to you with any thoughts about it to discuss. Give her ideas, tangible concrete ideas. Even scripts she can say or what to do if she needs help or is picked on.

all the best,
Susan