Behavior Change: Preschoolers Suddenly Won't Do Anything We Tell Them.

It might be helpful to make the consequences to their lack of compliance meaningful to them. For example, when they comply with requests, they can receive something positive. It could be as simple as getting a hug & a kiss, getting to listen to a preferred cd etc... (it doesn't have to be something material). Of course you would have to let them know in advance what they will receive after they have complied. If they do not cooperate, they can just face natural consequences of their actions or you might have to withhold a privilege or two, depending on the issue. It would be important to minimize the yelling cause kids start to get desensitized to that and it becomes meaningless. On top if it, they start yelling and screaming too, which can cause lots of headaches. One of the previous posters mentioned 1-2-3 Magic, which is quite a useful source. Whatever positive discipline technique you use, consistency and repetition is key. While their noncompliance is age appropriate, it is a time of learning that there are consequences (positive & negative) to certain behaviors. Of course that lesson begins at home!

I'm anxious to see what suggestions others give. I'm in the same boat. I do believe it's the age, my daughter is 3.5. I also believe it's the new sibling. My daughter loves her younger brother. She is so proud of him, especially around other people. At home, since things have changed some, her behavior has changed a lot. I used to go places and see other peoples' kids and think how lucky I was to have such a sweet, calm, and good listener for a daughter. Then the 3s came and shortly after the sibling came...she really puts my parenting skills to the test. Good luck!

We are going through the same thing too. My son is 3.5 and since he has turned 2.5 he has had his periods of being extra difficult where he has a hard time doing anything we ask. I don't remember my daughter being quite as difficult but I know she had her moments, too. I really do think it is the age combined with how they are dealing with a current fustration. I seem to notice he has trouble when he is going through a growth spurt or if he is coming down with a cold or like recently when he got less attention because his sister was sick. He has other stretches where is he is a great kid and he can easily do what we ask of him. Your kids may love the new baby but be fustrated with a change in routine or a little less attention?

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. When he is going through these periods I try and give him some extra attention and also make sure he is well fed with a snack or two during the day if needed (especially if he's going through a growth spurt). When it is clean up time, I set the timer and tell him when the timer beeps, that whatever is left on the floor I will put away and he won't be able to have the toys back for a day or two. I try not to make it a battle. I just quietly take the toys and then move on. Anyway, not sure if this is helpful...but do hang in there!

i agree it's an age thing, a phase that will pass if you keep doing the positive things you're doing and don't lose it. but i don't see how the new baby can NOT be affecting the situation. littles don't just express dismay, confusion or jealousy by being mean. they can be totally and genuinely delighted about their new brother and still be acting out in a desire to get mommy's focus back on them. i think that under these circumstances it's important to focus more on extra love and attention rather than punishment. their lives have changed in ways you probably don't even perceive. a period of adjustment is perfectly natural.
khairete
S.

I will say that it is the age. I have a 3 year old boy and a 5 year old mildly autistic daughter and an ADD husband. Believe me, getting any of them to clean up after themselves is a chore most of the time. Don't get me wrong, some days they do it without question and with a good attitude. Others, it's war. The trick is to stay calm and be consistent with the consequences of their misbehavior. No matter what, be consistent. My daughter does it more than my son does, but the crossing of the line is her thing. My job as her mother is remind her where that line is and give her good incentives not to cross it. If your children are learning to write, have them practice by writing out Bible verses or phrases that remind them to obey and have a good attitude. It will not only help their writing, but it will also be a repetitive reminder of what they are supposed to do and when they misbehave, have them write it again until they get it. Hope this helps, have fun, and God Bless.