Battleground During Diaper Changes

Updated on April 17, 2009
S.W. asks from Winnabow, NC
24 answers

Every diaper change has turned in to such a battle. Today my little guy had poo all over his legs and on me from kicking, squirming, tossing and turning trying to get out of my hands. I also worry about hurting him because I need to hold him down so tight (his dad also expressed the same concern a couple weeks ago). Pee diapers I just change while he is on the move - no big deal to me. But the poop diapers are getting worse and worse to change. I was exhausted after the diaper change, and I was fuming mad. We were both crying and didn't know what to do. Food seems to help, but I don't like offering that all of the time! But, as devil's advocate, if it works I should use it...any thoughts?

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

I had to sit on the floor to do such diaper changes and put my legs over his legs and arms to keep him still (for both of my boys), or if my hubby was around he would help with the restraint. If they fight it like crazy, a swat on the leg stops that nonsense. That's better than poo everywhere and you being so upset afterward. John Rosemond says the "terrible twos" start around 18 months, in his book Making the Terrible Twos Terrific - which I highly recommend. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

That is totally normal toddler stuff. as toddlers EVERYTHING is new to them and to miss it for one second is horrible! with my oldest daughter we used to "hog tie her" meaning i would put my leg over her chest (not hard just so she couldnt sit up) after a while it became a game she would throw her arms and legs up and scream hog tie! good luck tho this is normal

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A.G.

answers from Hickory on

Hi there. I have an 18 month old son, and we go through the same thing all the time with poopy diaper changes. As several pp have said, we use "special, coveted items" during these times. The best thing I have found is an electric toothbrush. He can only play with it durnig diaper changes, and he loves it. I still have to be quick, but it really helps. Good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Knoxville on

This is going to sound kind of silly, but I made up a song specifically for diaper changing. I'd pick my son up and do this sort of dance over to the changing area while singing "Clean your butt, clean your butt, I'm gonna clean your butt butt butt!" I'd continue singing throughout,and he was so amused by me making a complete fool of myself that he forgot to fight with me. Eventually, he even sang along. I figure moms get their pride back eventually....

L.

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J.K.

answers from Charlotte on

One suggestion is putting a mobile on your changing table as a distraction. Or try hanging toys like airplanes or paper balls from the ceiling. Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi S.,

I wasn't going to respond when I saw you already had 27 responses... but when I read the response that suggested you needed to be on Nanny 911 because of this issue, I felt the need to back you up. Don't feel badly about your child's behavior... and at 19 months, you don't need to be potty training already if your son isn't ready! There's enough for mom's to feel guilty about these days, giving you a hard time for a child that doesn't want to sit still during a diaper change is ridiculous.

I agree with the moms that gave distraction options... My oldest is 2 1/2 and still in diapers. We introduced potty training at 24 months, but haven't pushed anything he isn't ready for (with the support of our pediatrician). He has always been the type to sit still for diaper changes. Now my little one (16 months) is ALL OVER THE PLACE! He kicks and squirms and thinks it's a game to try to get away during a diaper change. Distraction definitely helps... singing a song that involves motions (wheels on the bus) or funny sounds... that usually works best for us.

Good luck - and remember... this too shall pass! And then another fun stage comes along. :-)

- D.

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T.R.

answers from Clarksville on

When my son started doing this at 8mths I said enough and started potty training. Yes and it worked because unlike starting at 2 or even older, their will is less likely to play a part and it become a battle. It sounds like your son does not really like diapers and is expressing his dislike of poopy diapers even more by battling.

Early starte potty training is a great book that helped me a lot. By the way we were totally out of diapers by 18mths. My friend started when her little one was about your little guys age and was out of diapers before 2.

If you are tired of battling just give it a try. Follow the book and half your battles will be pretty quick!

Good luck!

If you want more info on what I did feel free to contact me!

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L.M.

answers from Nashville on

I would suggest you change his diapers in the same position and the same general area. Since you can change the pee diapers on the run he probably feels you can do the same with the poop diapers. Consistency helps. My son was the same way and I did feel I had to literally hold him down and it was not a good experience for either of us. I stayed calm, talked to him, tried to engage him in conversation (like "did you have a good time playing with such and such" or "do you like cars", etc) sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't. what worked the most was just walking away. He knew it was time to change, we'd get the diaper and wipes and I'd lay him down and usually the fit would start immediately, before the diaper even came off. I would tell him he needs to stop so I can change him without getting poop on either of us. If he didn't calm down, I walked away. It drove him crazy and he usually calmed down. Sometimes it backfired and didn't work, but most of the time it did and finally he just quit squirming around.

good luck

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A.J.

answers from Raleigh on

Mine (same age) is going through this also right now! :) How fun?! I still use our changing table, although I think she is about to outgrow that, and am trying to actually fasin ?SP her in. I never used to do that, but now she needs it. She still tries to roll over, but at least she isn't standing up ripping things off the wall! I also change the pitch of my voice and do silly songs to grab her attention and distract her.

But, if you say no and he keeps on doing it... maybe needs some type of consequence? If mine does that, then we do a stronger NO! and gripping of the arm/leg whatever.

Good luck!
Amanda

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A.C.

answers from Wilmington on

I agree with the respondents who suggested turning poopy diaper changes into a bath time. That's what worked with my kids.
Use a shower hose or put him in the tub and turn the diaper change into water play. He'll get cleaner and it's OK if he gets a couple of washdowns a day.
I also used to sing a bouncy song to get my children to brush their teeth. I can see it working with diaper changes, also.
Good luck and let us know what works best for you!

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K.R.

answers from Lexington on

I have a 16 month old little boy who kicks and squirms through diaper changes too. He even tries to get his hands down there sometimes, which is super frustrating because I don't want him to get poop on his hands. I just try to distract him during diaper changes with a small toy for him to hold, singing, counting, or naming body parts (where's your nose? where's your eyes?). It usually works. Every now and again we have a hard time, but typically just distracting him gets the job done. Plus he now knows all of his body parts (even harder ones like chin, heart, and elbow), he can count to 13, and he knows most of the alphabet.

I wish you luck...I know how frustrating that can be. It seems like all little ones go through it though.

Take care,
K.

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R.D.

answers from Jackson on

We had a little squirmer and it always took 2 people to change him. Well, I bought a little flash light...very little so if he dropped it on himself it did not hurt. I would sometimes hold it im my mouth and just shake my head back and forth...slowly...don't want to get dizzy! That would keep his attention. Other times I would make it do lines on the wall and he would like that...sometimes he would hold it. Make sure it is a flashlight and not a laser pointer b/c you don't want to damage his eyes.

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S.M.

answers from Johnson City on

I had a shower with a spray massage and used it to clean my son when he started that mess with the fighting and squirming. He got cleaner and I didn't get frustrated with holding him and cleaning him. I am overweight and could not hold him with my thighs and he loved taking showers.

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A.S.

answers from Greensboro on

Hi S.,
I have also had diaper wars with my kids at different times and not every time, but still - diaper wars. Sometimes, my husband and I have to both work to change the diaper because it takes one of us to hold/distract and the other to change/clean.

One thing you may not be able to see is that his skin may be slightly irritated from the poopy and the wipes are burning when you try to wipe it off. A couple things to try - switch brands of wipes or make your own (I've never made my own, but I hear they are much milder than the store bought kind) and use or switch to a different kind of diaper cream. I did not use diaper cream on my kids regularly, only when they needed it. On occasion, my little ones would get irritated though and knew it. The thought of me changing their diaper was pure misery for them and they would get really upset. On a similar note, sometimes the diaper cream burns depending on the kind of rash they may have. My doc suggests mixing Desitin with Maalox (putting it in the fridge is an added bonus). The Maalox is soothing and the Desitin helps it to stick and provides a barrier to the skin.

If there is no rash at all and nothing is irritating him, the only other suggestion I would have is to give him his favorite toy or try to change him near a window so that he can look outside and possibly be distracted. Sometimes that works with my little guy. Good luck!

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P.B.

answers from Raleigh on

It is one of those challenging developmental stages... this too, shall pass.

I used to give my kids something they coveted that they were never allowed to have, like my cell phone. Food wouldn't be my first choice, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

IF you are really stuck, sit on the floor with your legs open in front of you. Lay him with his head closest to your crotch, place his arms under your thighs. Then change him that way.

This also works if you have to give eye drops... you can hold the child's head steady with your thighs without hurting him.

It won't last forever, I promise.
Hang in there!

P

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J.T.

answers from Louisville on

S., I'm sorry for laughing but I had the same problem with my son! It was such a hassel! I would literally pin him down with my legs and change his diaper. Luckily this helped me to use the new baby line my mother had bought me, which I now sell! Anyway, I don't have a solution for you...I wish I did....all I remember doing was fighting him and sometimes giving him a swat when he ran from me...hand on diaper...no pain, just surprise! Other than that, have you tried leaving him in the poopy diaper??? He's old enough to realize how nasty it feels, and will come to you to change it, hopefully...good luck and hope this helps, knowing you aren't the only one!

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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

I remember those days! It gets bad after they learn to run around. Laying still for a diaper change is just torture to them after that! LOL I did all kinds of stuff. I would sing songs, I would play the "show me" game...show me your nose, eyes, ears, etc. I would put in an attention grabbing dvd or fun CD, I would give them a mirror to play with (my kids loved mirrors)...just anything that would give me two minutes. But mostly, the "show me" or "where's your" game worked and the loud fun songs. I promise it won't last forever. My home is now diaper/pull-up and wipe free, so it really does come to an end. =0) And hey...if foods work, go for it!

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J.S.

answers from Knoxville on

Hi S.
I have an 18 month old boy and he did the same thing about a month ago. He still will every now and then but it took some doing but I started telling him that he could not get up and play unless he stayed still and let me change him. Nothing else worked that I tried. I also started telling him that he would have to go to bed right then. I did have to follow through with it one time and when he saw that I would put him in bed he changed his tune and stayed still for the next change. Now when he acts up during the change I just have to say we have to change this stinky nasty diaper so you can get up and play he usually will settle down. It will not happen over night but it will happen. Good Luck

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

You could just put him in the shower and spray him off, take care of two birds with one stone!

or

see if he will look at a book

or

watch a video while you change him

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C.R.

answers from Knoxville on

S.,
I always kept a few small toys and books that were only for diaper changing time. If food is the only thing that works then use it, just make sure its something healthy and be careful ofthe little one choking while changing. If you try the toy route get a something new that he has never had before. My kids love dogs so we got a book with dog pics. They also had this pinwheel that they liked a lot. Make sure that its something that can be used while on thier back. Cars they will try to turn over and play with.

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J.M.

answers from Charlotte on

I had the same problem with my two boys. They just didn't want to stop what they were doing. For poop diapers I would lay them on the floor on a pad or towel and put my leg over their upper chest. Not pushing hard or anything, but just so that they couldn't lift their chest up or turn over to the side made it so they couldn't effectively stop me from changing the diaper. I'm afraid I don't have a warm and cuddly answer, but they were fine when I was done and just went back to what they were doing.

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L.W.

answers from Raleigh on

Girl, I feel your pain!! My son is only 14 months old, and has been acting this way for several months. It is amazing how angry I let it get me too after a long day. Anyway, I used to sing songs, but that no longer works so now I do the "what sound does this animal make" game. You know, "what does a dog say?" and so on....I have to do it constantly until I finish changing him, but it seems to work! Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Raleigh on

when my little one started squirming I gave him something " special to hold" only for diaper changes. usually like the tylanol bottle or comb or whatever was on the changing table. He had interest in it long enough for me to get the job done.

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M.P.

answers from Memphis on

I might need u to be on SuperNanny, because as Joe on suppernanny would say get off your but and make this child be still to be changed!!!!! Now I think u said that this child is 19mos then this child should be potty training now. Just as ur husband is out there working hard to support the household then u have too work just as hard until he gets home to help u out of displine the child himself. Watch SupperNanny sometime or Nanny 911 they are good if ur family doesn't believe in any spanking at times of stress need. You know they have so many laws for kids these days.

Good Luck,
M.

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