My husband is convienced buying a crib in the first trimester is bad luck. I am convienced it will be a visual reminder of things to look forward to as well as a friendly reminder as to why I have given up my partying life style. No drinking, no smoking, early bedtimes. What are your thoughts?
Maybe a basinet or rocking chair? Something baby visual but usually babys dont sleep in crib until a few months old anyway.
Having miscarried in the past, I am against buying anything or sharing with anyone Im pregnant until after 1st trimester has passed.
COngrats and Best of Luck to you!!
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J.L.
answers from
Corvallis
on
Is it that feels its bad luck or he is scared? My experience is first time daddys are very hesitant about getting things for baby , especally at the very beginning. Its a reality that is right in front of them that life will change and some men are scared of that. Getting things for the baby makes them face it sonner than later.
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A.D.
answers from
Corvallis
on
Luck or no luck... it is not worth it! If Hubby does not want to get one yet, honor that! He came first and hopefully will be there when the kids all leave. He and his opinion on this is more important then clearance sales, shower gifts or wanting reminders. He is the one you are having this baby with. He is the Daddy to be and he is your husband! There will always be things to disagree about... is this worth the disreguard you will show him? This is an awesome time to strengthen your marriage for the coming on-slot of being parents and a TEAM together raising your children... listen to him. He is your partner and team mate not your advisary.
Congratulations and Happy Birthing!
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A.S.
answers from
Eugene
on
another thought - you may not end up wanting a crib at all! babies love to sleep with their mommies and daddies! i enjoyed sleeping with mine, and now that they are grown they enjoy sleeping with theirs. so for that reason too i wouldn't recommend getting a crib, or any other equipment really (much baby equipment is not so good for babies, like automatic swings, johnny jumpups, walkers etc). you can enjoy your pregnancy and remind yourself of your commitment to a healthy lifestyle in many other ways, without spending money and taking up space with something you may even use!
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C.M.
answers from
Seattle
on
wait for the second trimester. Miscarriages are very common no matter how healthy you are.
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A.B.
answers from
Portland
on
My only thought when I read this is not about good/ bad luck, just some advice- don't spend a lot of money on a new crib, 'cause don't be surprised if baby doesn't end up sleeping in it! (Would I have guessed that my babies would spend so much time in my bed? Never! But it's the best!)
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R.B.
answers from
Seattle
on
I would wait. Buy some books and read up on pregnancy, get some fun nursery decorating books from the library. Wait for the big purchases until later. Someone might even buy a crib for you.
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C.H.
answers from
Portland
on
Luck is only something we humans have created as a reason why some good things happen and some bad things happen. Whether or not your carry your baby to full term, it survives birth and it's early years has absolutely positively nothing to do with luck. There are a myraid of reasons why there are miscarraiges, still births and early childhood death and none of them have anything to do with luck. I hope your husband will realize that whether or not everything goes well has nothing to do with if you do or don't buy a crib.
The best to you in your preganancy and the birth of your child. It can be, if you choose it to be, the best time of your life; I know it was for me...
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L.C.
answers from
Portland
on
In the grand scheme of things, you really only need a crib when the child arrives. Choose your battles wisely. Besides, soon enough, you will have the visual friendly reminder of a baby bump to remind you why you are changing your ways. Congrats!
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C.S.
answers from
Medford
on
I think that your husband is right to be causious in the first trimester. As nice an idea it would be, it could be very tramatic for you if something were to happen. I would wait until at least 5-6 months before purchasing furniture. If you want something to visualize, get a little outfit or stuffed animal for the baby-to-be. Best of luck to you and your little miracle!
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A.H.
answers from
Portland
on
I think it's fine to buy things right away. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started buying little girl things (I knew it was a girl). My husband thought I was crazy, but it turns out that I was right! Ha ha.. I don't think it's bad luck to buy things early, but I'm not superstitious at all.
However, I'm not a fan of cribs unless you're going to side-car it to your bed. There are other, more useful things to buy. :)
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A.D.
answers from
Seattle
on
Most people do wait till after the first trimester has passed. But, if buying a crib now or any other baby item will help to keep you from your past partying lifestyle than I would say get it! Sometimes you do need that reminder of what is to come and the motivation.
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M.F.
answers from
Seattle
on
We only waited to buy the crib because we were in the middle of building a new house and I did not have a place to put it in our old house! Of couse we also told everyone we were pregnant at 4 weeks.
It was my first and only pregnancy. As long as your husband will not get upset I say go for it.
Also even if you end up co-sleeping in the beginning you will need a crib eventually. Our 10 month old just went to her own room 2 weeks ago (I said I would NEVER cosleep!) when she was still wanting to "eat" every hour.
Good luck with your pregnancy and your new baby!
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M.D.
answers from
Seattle
on
I don't think it's bad luck at all. We bought a stroller before we even started trying to conceive and now we have a delightful 2.5 year old. But, since your husband does, why don't you compromise and get it toward the end of the first trimester?
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E.T.
answers from
Portland
on
I think something a wee bit less expensive, like a wooden rocking horse would be more practical. My husband bought one at the Goodwill when I was only a few weeks pregnant. It was only $5! It is still used today, now that she is 2. Good luck during your pregnancy!
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D.L.
answers from
Portland
on
I bought my crib a year before i was even pregnant! It is a 3in1 style and I used it as a full sized bed for a guest room that would one day be a nursery. We put it together as a crib during my first trimester and it really gave me time to decorate and enjoy the nursery at a time of day other than 3am:) Now I have three boys and no bad luck! If your hubby really won't bend, pick out one and put a picture of it up. Congratulations!
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J.B.
answers from
Seattle
on
Bad luck? Seriously? I didn't think anyone actually took those superstitions into account any more. Buying a crib early has absolutely no effect on the baby whatsoever. God does not strike us down for our expected joys, and there's no snarky fairy who goes around saying "Oh, they're too happy too soon. I'd better do something about it." If you feel that having a crib now will help you look forward to the baby you will have then, and you can get your husband to go along with you, go for it.
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S.H.
answers from
Seattle
on
If it makes him feel better, just look for now. When you hit that four month mark, go hog-wild with your husband and buy what you both like. It will give you plenty of time to dream about the perfect crib. We waited until we knew the sex of our babies via ultrasound/3d ultrasound to buy a cribs in case we wanted blue trim or something... which we did for our third child. It was fun and my hubby loved coming with me and having say in getting ready for our children. Maybe your hubby has experience with someone he knows having lost a baby and going through that pain of having to... find places for the unneeded items to go. I've been through loss too. It's very sad and hard. I think he's a good husband in being concerned about you "if...". I don't think it's too much for him to ask that you wait a few weeks.
By the way, good for you. Those habits can be extremely hard to break... especially the smoking. Drinking can be hard too, unless you're primarily a social drinker. There will come a time later in life when you miss your younger, wilder days. Just remember why you gave it up and love your hubby and kids more. I speak from experience there, too. Good luck to ya.
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M.T.
answers from
Portland
on
You've got lots of good perspectives from other moms, but what I would suggest is not to push your husband into doing something he is not comfortable with -whether you agree or not, it clearly matters to him and you want him to be part of this exciting, happy time! If it were me, I would use this time in your pregnancy to look around, get ideas, create your wish list, baby shower registry and favorite items lists. All the purchases take time, especially the bigger ones. You have plenty of time to find just the crib you want, as well as to complete your nursery. Hope this view helps you! Good luck and enjoy!
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M.P.
answers from
Portland
on
I don't believe in bad luck. However, many first pregnancies end before the end of the first trimester. I do believe in focusing on having a successful pregnancy and I don't want you to worry because most first pregnancies carry to full term. That said "experts" recommend not making announcement that early. A crib purchase is an announcement. Whether or not you buy a crib depends on how well the purchase fits into your budget and if purchasing it would be a regret if by some chance the pregnancy doesn't last.
I strongly believe that purchasing a crib will not be bad luck in that it would jinx the pregnancy.
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B.D.
answers from
Seattle
on
I would wait to purchase anything for the baby, whether it be a crib, bassinet, clothes...etc. I would wait until you are either in the middle or end of 2nd trimester. I would say...when you are about 6 mo. This way, not only will you be able to get what you need (if you choose to find out the sex) or to pass the miscarriage stage. Just a safety measure.
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M.L.
answers from
Seattle
on
I would wait personally. I've miscarried twice and if we'd bought a crib before the miscarriage, I wouldn't have been able to keep it anyway. If you want to get something to remind you visually, get a newborn size onsie and put it in your closet or something like that. Also, it's pointless to buy a new crib. There's lots on craigslist and at used baby sales that are much cheaper than a new one. I think my oldest slept in her crib maybe 40 times (less than 2 months) and my youngest has never slept in it. Not really worth the money we spent on it for us. You don't really know what you need yet so I wouldn't make any major purchases. $10 or less if you really want or need the visual reminder.
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M.B.
answers from
Seattle
on
Tamara,
Being a family on a small income I say buy what you can when you can.
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J.R.
answers from
Seattle
on
i don't think that it is bad luck (unless your husband is superstitious or has a specific religious belief), but you don't really need to get it and have it set up that early...unless you really really think that it will give you support through your pregnancy...I would wait a little while, but know that if you are ordering one, it can take up to 10 weeks for delivery (depending on where you order).
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J.B.
answers from
Medford
on
I agree with you! Keep positive thoughts, the crib will make you think of that little bundle of joy coming soon!!! Why focus/worry about negative things? Good luck, your lttle girl/boy will be WAY worth giving up the partying life style!!! Good luck!
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J.C.
answers from
Chicago
on
i agree with your husband.......get a baby name book, or scrapbooking ideas, order parenting magazines, a photo album, etc......these things will help you get excited too...congrats