Hi G.. Everyone has a different opinion on this topic, and I am another Mom who would never have allowed a shower for my second child (even though he was a boy, after having a girl). My son was given some very sweet, thoughtful "welcome" gifts by friend and family after he was born, so he certainly had his share of "new things!"
However, if you are really, truly being pressured by your family to have a party (and you would truly cause serious family strife by refusing), I would ask them to call it a "sprinkle," do *not* register for gifts, and do *not* give your family a list of friends to invite. Your family can invite the family, and you will avoid any potential "controversy" you might cause if you invite acquaintances or friends that find second showers tacky.
Of course, the best way to avoid all this mess is to not find out the gender of the baby! (Or just keep it a secret!!) :) Very best wishes!!