Shower for a Second Baby?

Hi A.,
No, I don't think it's tacky at all... Especially since this is one is a girl;-) It would be fun to throw her a shower so that she can get some cute, girly stuff for her daughter. Babies are a miracle and they deserve to be celebrated! Have fun:-)

Melissa

Every baby should be celebrated. I don't think it is tacky to have a shower for a woman who is having a second child. She has a boy and is now having a girl. She needs a lot of girl stuff. I think a shower is a way to let a Mom to be know that she is loved and supported by her friends and family.

Every baby deserves a shower and celebration of this new life. It doesn't matter what Emily Post says. Life is meant to be celebrated! Don't let this happy event pass by! Gather family and friends and have some fun.
J.

Absolutely not! If you want to celebrate the birth of this beautiful blessing, do so! I am in a small group at church and we have a "shower" for every baby (even when I had #4 a few months ago.) It is a great excuse to get together as moms and women and celebrate a new joy! Also, since she has a boy and is having a girl you know she needs cute girl stuff. However, if you are concerned about others thinking it's "tacky" you can do no gifts (though I really wouldn't worry.) or have people bring gifts that can then be donated to a women's shelter or something, or what my friends did for me, which was to bring frozen meals for the family to eat once baby is born. Have a great time enjoying this new little one and don't worry about what anyone else thinks!

Hi A.! I've heard of 2nd baby showers when the little ones are close together but instead of a shower the party is called a "Sprinkle". It's nice because your SIL likely won't need all of the big baby items ie: car seats, pack-n-play, exersaucer, etc. but she will need to be restocked with the baby necessities and now some girlie items. Look online for baby sprinkle parties - you will get plenty of ideas! Good Luck!

I personally don't understand why the 2nd (3rd and so on) child is less important then the first. I would throw a shower for anyone one of my friends/family that was having a baby no matter if they already have a child/children. There are so many expenses that come with having a child. You need so many things such as diapers, wipes, lotions, soaps, pacifiers, clothing, and of course many things that you couldn't reuse from previous children. Baby bottles for example with the BPA...I will have to throw out all my bottles and buy BPA free bottles. Besides, it's a fun memory to have for the mommy and baby on the way. Celebrate every birth :)

(FYI- my mother-in-law lives on the west coast and told me she has never heard of having a shower for only your first baby, she thought that was very odd, so I'm not sure why that seems to be the tradition around here ??)

Have fun!

I think that your SIL would LOVE it! I don't think it is tacky at all--especially since she is having a different sex, and in today's economy it is hard for a family to start all over again w/ items of a different color.

A couple of friends of mine have thrown 2nd baby showers--one had a "Book Shower" where everyone brought the mother and baby their favorite books or things associated with their favorite book.

Another we had a "Pretty in Pink" shower--it was the same situation as you posted about, a friend who already had a boy, and had ALL BLUE things--this poor little girl would have looked like a little boy for the first two years of her life if we hadn't thrown this shower for her. She was so appreciative and was VERY surprised.

I have also heard of a "Recycle Shower" people brought lightly used or not even used (we all have those clothes in the closet that your child never got to wear and the tags are still on them). That was fun!

I think you should do it...set the standard, maybe she will reciprocate when you have your 2nd!

I say it's tacky!

The only times I think it's ok to have another baby shower is if it's extreme circumstances like twins after having a singleton baby, or having your kids really far apart in age etc.

I've heard of having a "sprinkle" not quite a shower for when they have a boy after having a girl etc., just to get some other gender clothing.

Really though if they kids are only 3 years apart I don't see a need for a shower and it's not that hard to just go out and get some other gender outfits. I would think if everyone got her a nice "boy" outfit after he is born she'd be fine.

I'm pregnant with my 2nd child right now. My daughter's will be 7 years apart. I have NOTHING from my first child as I never thought I'd have more kids and I refuse to let anyone throw me a shower. I think it's tacky and I've been able to come up with everything this baby needs all on my own.

We plan to have a "welcome" party for our baby due this fall so everyone can celebrate our child and welcome her into the world. Were not expecting any gifts and really just want family/friends around to celebrate.

The reason I think a 2nd,3rd,4th baby shower is tacky is because of the gift giving. I don't like it when people expect or demand gifts just becuase they're having another one. I understand new clothing here and there and replacing worn or broken baby items but what ever happened to hand me downs and saving your babies things for the next child? What ever happened to borrowing and exchaning items? I think people are just overly spoiled and live beyond their means these days. So I wouldn't want to even attend someone's 2nd shower. I see no problem in giving the new baby a small gift after birth but a shower to me is tacky. Just my opinion!

no absolutely not tacky to throw a nother one my sugestion about before or after is are they finding out the sex or not if they are you can throw it either before or after if not finding out wait till after they have the baby had a friend who wasn't finding out and had a lot of people complain about trying to find neutral clothes they wanted either or. I had a shower for both of my kids 5 1/2 years apart and diff sex

I think it all depends on the people who would come. Some might be put out that they have to bring a gift for a second baby. I have a 10 year old, and was single at the time he was born. My family had a shower for me then. Then after I was married and six years later we had a second child. At this point I had nothing left from when my first was born as I passed everything along to others who needed stuff. My family and our church had a shower for me then and it was great to be able to get everything we needed, but I do know there was some talk from some of my great aunts about how they did not appreciate having to give us a gift. I did not hear about it until after the fact, and made sure they got a very nice thank you card explaining how gratful I was since I had no baby stuff left from our first. This smoothed things over, and then they did not stop talking about how nice it was that they had a second shower for me and ended up having a second shower for a cousin of mine who's kids are just as far apart. Since there is just three years, I would suggest just having a very small group get together after the baby is born so they can see her and bring a girl outfit for the new baby. Make sure you say that gifts are optional, and if they want to bring something a girl outfit would be appreciated. You are a very thoughtful sister! Hope I helped!

Usually you don't do a shower after the first baby. But if you want to do something for her after you could wait a couple months after the baby is born and have a Meet n' Greet. Then everyone can see the new baby and it'd be a great way to let the Big Brother help out.

no way you usually do it when the soon to be mommy is about 8 months or later.

Wow. Such a strong and negative opinion from one of the previous posters!
Doing something thoughtful for someone is NEVER tacky! A gift is always in good taste and people are always ready to give to a new little one!
I remember looking at my baby book when I was little and seeing the pics of the baby shower held for my mom. There were shots of ladies holding me and some of me in my new little outfits etc.... as a 7 year old (or so) I felt so special. A baby should always have a welcome into the world.
My friends and I have showers for people no matter what the number. My friend had her 5th child and 3 people offered to give her a shower. 30 people came on the coldest day of the year just to make her and the baby feel loved. THAT is what it is all about. Not gifts, in my opinion, they are just a bonus. If people feel like they are being taken advantage of by giving a gift to a beautiful little baby then they can stay home and miss out on good fellowship, good food and blessing someone! They can STAY HOME and pout.
Do what you feel is right! Don't worry about breaching etiquette because kindness is always in good taste!

**AWESOME IDEA ABOUT THE RUMMAGE SALE THING REBECCA B! I am going to suggest that in the future! Thanks!**

I say, if she is comfortable with it, GO FOR IT! I think a baby shower is a wonderful celebration of life and motherhood! I am kinda wishing when I have my 3rd to have one! I don't care about the gifts, I just love to get together with all the important women in my life and celebrate the joys of motherhood! It is a chance to talk, laugh, cry, get away and enjoy oneself. (Okay, the gifts are nice too :) )

Besides, they say you get everything you need with the first, but in her case, she needs some girly stuff! I guess I feel if people have a problem with it, then they won't come!

If the gift thing is an issue, maybe just put "Please, no gifts, your presence(?) is a gift itself!" on the invite!

I think the old fashioned etiquette answer is "Showers are not hosted for 2nd births". But I myself am a 2nd and my little boy is a 2nd and it just seems kinda mean not to celebrate a baby's arrival in some way. So, most of the etiquette rules on this have been relaxed. I checked around and most people try to make the 2nd shower "different" or non-traditional. I mean, who needs a 2nd baby bath, high chair, bouncy seat, etc. cluttering up their house? But new babies always need clothes, new parents always need a stock of casseroles in the freezer (host a casserole/baking shower), new mom's always need some post-birth pampering (host a "Mommy-of-Two" shower).

I had my second child a few months ago and my oldest is 5. My friend threw me a babyshower and it was nice. I mean I only put things that I really needed and plus with her having a girl this time she will need some pink things.

I actually asked this same question a few months back except it was a baby shower for me. I only got a small baby shower (close family only) with my first because I ended up on bedrest. I was a bit hurtfull that everyone else at work got a baby shower and they did nothing for me. I got a lot of negative responses to my question! Granted my first is only 2 years old, so I don't need much, it's the idea of the shower, not the gifts I wanted! Well, it turns out work is throwing me a baby shower for baby #2 anyway (I didn't even bring it up to anyone!). When a co-worker approached me about a shower (saying I needed one because I never got a work shower), I said I didn't need anything, but after a lot of thought, there IS stuff I need! I need simple things like breast pads, milk storage containers, more crib sheets, more matress pads, diapers/wipes, BPA free bottles, new books because my daughter and dog ruined them, newborn clothes (because my first was born in July and this one in October)..... I think a baby shower for a second child is just fine. Just because you've already have a baby doesn't mean there isn't stuff you need for your second baby, especially if they are different genders and a few years apart. I do however, like the idea of a "gently used" shower and may tell people to so the same for me (even if it's just the clothes part).

A.; its never tacky to give someone some needed gifts, giving is great, and even if the child was same sex a shower is great, i had 3 boys, and my friends gave me a shower for each one of them, things wear out, clothes get nasty spit up on, without those showers, our 3rd child starts to look really nasty, just enjoy life and dont worry about when to give, no one needs to tell you when to give, we all have that giving spirit built into us, just give when you feel you need to give, if you are compelled to give, give, if not, she still might need something in this circumstance, any way enjoy life, D. s

Maybe it depends. Most of my best friends now were not around 5 years ago when I had my first child, and want to throw me a shower. They also know that i donated ALL of my daughters baby items and that I do need a few things. But I think it's lame to not do something nice for your friend based on tradition. Just don't invite the people who aren't excited to celebrate the birth of a baby. Maybe you can do a diaper raffle instead of having the mom make a registry. (Where people bring a pack of diapers and are entered into a raffle) I have also read things online that said maybe make it small or close family and friends only. . . Have fun!

P.s. The idea of having 20 people over to my house when I am trying to take care of my infant sounds awful! (Like a "meet the baby" party)

When I was pregnant with my second - my best friend wanted to throw me a shower. I told her that I didn't want one because it was my second baby and you are only supposed to have a shower for your first baby. That is what I had always been told. She said that she didn't care what I said - she was going to have a "greet the baby" party. It was at someone else's house - so I didn't have to worry about cleaning - just show up. It was small and intimate and I am so glad that she didn't listen to me. It was so fun to sit down with my immediate family and closest friends and get to show off my new baby. I have changed my original opinion and think that if you want to do something for her - do it! She probably secretly wants someone to do something for her...but doesn't want to ask.

I don't think it is tacky to do something nice but maybe a shower isn't the way to go. Maybe you could have a "meet the baby" party and just have lunch and talk. After the baby is born she may not be up to something big for a while. It might be best to plan something after she has some adjustment time. I think the biggest help would be to entertain her 3 year old.

my family actually gave me 3 baby showers. we had one with my first child. then after i was remarried and i got pregnant with josyah they gave me another one because there was a 7 year gap and i had nothing from my other boys plus it is my hubbys "first" child. then this summer after we found out that we are having a girl they did another one since this is the first girl we have and everything is blue. with the last one it was very informal and simple, more just a get together with gifts. this shower was a "bearly used" for gifts. it was nice my aunts went to rummage sales and was able to get alot more clothes for cheaper than what one new outfit would have cost. for as quick as they grow out of clothes it was perfect, i got more clothes (many you could tell had only been used once or twice before they grew out of it) for her and they didn't break thier wallets since we just had a shower the year before. that could be an idea since its the second shower.

I don't think it's tacky at all, celebrating a new life and your new niece? Go for it. My brother has three kids and with each one they needed something new and sweet for the new baby and people always need diapers or gift certificates....or heck no gifts and just a party. Life is short, have as many parties as possible.

I have heard of people having a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. It is smaller and sometimes you tell guests to just bring diapers and wipes as the only gifts.

My family has showers no matter how many children the person already has. It's an excuse to get together and a celebration of life.

It would be tacky for her to throw a second shower for herself, but it's fine if you do it. It's become very common for people to have a shower for a second baby when there is a large gap between ages or when the second baby is a different gender. I think it's perfectly fine. If the people you invite don't like it, they're not obligated to go. The ones that are true friends and family and truly care will be more than happy to bring a gift for her and the baby.

It depends who you are asking, as this can often be a controversial topic. Many people think one shower for the first born is enough because the mother is expected to keep all of her baby things for subsequent pregnancies. The only exception with folks from this camp is if you are giving birth to multiples or there's some special reason that would warrant a second shower.

There are others who believe each child should get something..and would therefore hold a small "welcome" party for baby and mom shortly after the birth and arrival home.

I personally think it would not be tacky, and what a nice thing to do. Since this is a second child, gift suggestions might include savings bond/money for a college fund, clothes, or something that mom wanted or really needed but didn't get with the first baby.

Keep the party family oriented, relaxed and simple so as to not raise the ire of those traditionalists who don't believe in second showers.

Go for it!! I love the idea of calling it a "sprinkle" instead of a shower. Knowing that she probably doesn't need the biggies, guests can concentrate on the girly things plus diapers and wipes. I would try to do something before the baby arrives so that all the new stuff is ready for her when she comes home. Some people are funny about their newborns being around a lot of new people.

I am pregnant with my third child, but it is a boy (we have two girls already 3 yrs and 17 mos). My girlfriends are throwing me a "baby sprinkle" which is the same as a shower but since you don't need as much it's just a sprinkle. They had me register,too. I think that only have one shower is very old school. Some people will frown on it, bt that is because they are old school :) A shower is supposed to be a way to tell a friend that you are thinking of them and their new baby. Do you only think of a friend when she has her first? I certainly don't. Most people would buy a gift for the baby anyway, and this way you get to have a party and get what the mom to be really needs and not stuff she may or may not need or want. Make sense? Hope this helps!

Definitely give her one. I would have felt awful if no one had thrown me a 2nd shower. The second child is just as wonderful as the 1st and you should celebrate it!

In my family we throw a baby shower whether its your first or your fifth. Its a time for us to get together and hang out as a family, play goofy games, laugh, eat, talk.

If she is uncomfortable with having antoher baby shower, then have a 'welcome baby' party after she is born.

I don't think either is tacky, as to me a baby shower is a get together for family and friends.

A.,

It isn't tacky, especially if the mom to be is having the opposite gender this time. She will still need baby clothes, even if the stroller, carseat, crib, etc. are still good for baby #2. There are some things you have to replace with every baby - washclothes, teethers, sippys, binkies, etc. When I am invited to showers for babies who aren't the first, I always get things I know mom can use - diapers, wipes, baby bath, lotion, or a pampering kit for mom.

With my third baby, I declined a shower because I had all the boy and girl things I needed. My friends were very insistant, so I agreed to do a "girls night out" at a local restaurant, and they ended up bringing gifts anyway. I was really, really grateful and glad we had a fun night.

With my fourth baby, my friends knew it would be hard to get me to agree, so they bipassed me altogether and planned a surprise shower for me. It was so fun. Sure, moms with 4 kids (especially 2 of each gender) shouldn't be expecting or demanding showers, but most people are kind, happy, generous people and would look for any excuse to celebrate a new baby coming into a family. Have the party.

S.

I would say that is up to you. Some people might not want to come because it's her 2nd baby, but some people will come no matter what. You could do a welcoming party for the baby after it's born.

I have 2 boys (almost 7yrs & turned 5yrs today) & my dd will turn 1yr next week. We had a shower after ds#1 was born because we didn't want to find out what if he was a boy or girl. We didn't have a shower when ds#2 was born, but still did get some gifts from close friends & family - I think most like to stop by to see baby & bring a gift. So when dd was born, we had a 'Meet baby Elizabeth' party instead of a 'baby shower'. Everyone enjoyed seeing & holding the baby at my 1st shower so I thought it would be a cute idea after she was born & it was a lovely day. We did cut the invite list from my son's shower down a little, only close friends & relatives, people that gave a gift when ds#2 was born. Also, you might want to spread the word that'll you'll be doing that - I wondered do I invite those who already brought gifts - they do see it as a shower & might feel slighted not to get invited. Also, I have a cousin that is widowed, so he wondered why he didn't get an invite. So you might also want to mention that the men can come over after a couple of hours or so - they'll want to meet baby too. Also, my was when she was 1 month old, you might want to try to plan it ahead of time, have a few dates, etc set, so you can send out invites as soon as baby is born & have it by the time she is 2 weeks old, that way everyone will get the invites right after baby is born & will bring the gifts to the party & mom & baby can relax in those first few days at home, without all that company coming in when baby is napping & big brother won't feel left out with all the company paying attention to the baby, etc. Have fun!

I don't think it's at all tacky to have a second baby shower for your sister-in-law since she's having a baby of a different sex. It she were having another girl, I might agree that it's inappropriate. However, I'm sure she doesn't have any boy items, so a shower would definitely be beneficial!

My friends from work threw a shower for my 2nd baby and it was wonderful. A ton of people came and we just had a lot of fun. Both my children were boys, and people still came and even brought clothes, which surprised me. I totally expected more "supplies" than anything. Each baby's arrival is exciting and deserves to be celebrated. And frankly, children are expensive, so every little bit helps out the new parents. I think themed showers are wonderful, especially if parents don't need a lot of the basics, like bottles, crib essentials, etc. Supply showers are wonderful, since every baby needs diapers and wipes, bathing items, etc. I've also heard of people throwing a "meal" shower, where people bring frozen meals that can be heated up by the family after baby arrives and parents don't feel up to cooking.

I don't think there's anything "tacky" about it, but I personally would not go to a shower for a 2nd baby. My thinking is that they are supposed to keep and reuse all the big stuff: car seats, high chairs, etc., that they would have gotten at their shower for their first baby.

I didn't even have a shower for my first. My husband and I had gone to garage sales and thrift stores and by the time someone asked if they could throw me one, we already had everything.

I obviously don't know your family dynamics, but keep in mind you could be opening a can of worms in everyone doesn't get a shower for every kid they have.

I have heard of people having a "sprinkle" instead of a shower, although I don't really know all the details in throwing one... Since she is having a girl, she will need girl "stuff" so I don't think it would be inappropriate to have something for her. Another thought is seeing if friends and family would want to contribute to a gift card to a baby store so that she could pick some things out...

I have one child so far. If I were pregnant with another, I sure would like to have a shower for the coming baby. (I have no idea whether it would tacky or not, but that's how I feel about it.)

I've heard showers for second babies are coming into favor but I think it looks like a gift grab. People who are close to the family will go visit when the baby is born and give a gift then. No one offered any showers to me when I was pregnant the second time but I would have refused so as to not put people in the awkward position of having to give another gift.

You know, I might be repeating other posts (didn't read the other 37) but I think the only tacky thing is if she asks for the shower herself. I don't think it's tacky for someone else to throw a small shower for a second baby, especially if it's a different gender (same gender - no way). Keep it small, though, since if you ask all sorts of distant friends and acquaintances, they might feel that your sister-in-law is greedy! If it's kept to family and close friends, and everyone knows to just get something little, it would be a nice celebration for your sis-in-law and a little jump start on her baby girl collection!

I think it is great. Some folks at work had one for me for my second, which was a boy (first was a girl). It is helpful when the second is of the opposite sex. After the baby is born would be best, as doctors still have that little chance of being wrong about the sex. If you feel weird about it, just invite those she is closest to, or even only family, who will understand. :)

It is not tacky to throw a shower for each baby. I would have loved a shower for each of my children because it would have done a world of good for my spirit and my confidence as a mother; most of all it would have made me feel like my 2nd born was as important to my friends and family as my first born was. If you are going to throw a shower for her, you must make sure it is done with as much panache as was present in the first one. You're really very thoughtful to be considering doing this for your sister-in-law. Have fun!

Maybe after the baby is born you could have something on the smaller side, inviting those that wouldn't mind the idea of another shower. Or if you really want to invite more people, write an invite with something clever to include that this one's a girl and she needs pink and ruffles or work in the big brother as the host???

My family believes that every baby deserves to be welcomed with a party, not to mention that no matter how many kids you have you always need a few new things! We just threw our sister a shower for her 3rd baby. But with that being said, it was kept low key and only included family and very close friends. The best way to do it is after the baby is born so then it is more of a "meet the baby" kind of thing.

A., my SIL gave me a shower for my second. but beforee I let her I asked my mom what the general rule was and she said usually no unless the baby is a different sex or there is a big age gap. I had a boy than a girl and they were 6 years apart so mom said not to worry. I still had all my son's things so most of what I needed was girl clothes.

I think it is a great idea. She will need some baby girl things. And it is always fun to get ladies together for a party. You may not want to invite EVERYBODY like you would with a first baby. But maybe the closer people like parents and siblings and cousins that are close. Any good friends that she has that you know would like to attend. Maybe just mention it in passing to a few people and see what they say. If they are really against the idea you don't invite them. My baby shower was a joint baby shower with my cousin who had just had a baby too. There were SOOOOOOOOOO many people there that I felt more run down and stressed out then relaxed and celebrating. I told my sister the next time around I would rather just have a small group of friends and family. It is easier to enjoy and talk to everybody. Good luck!

I tend to answer these that one is enough... but that is only because I have bitter feelings towards one of mine...

But after giving it a lot of thought after my three children and being pregnant with our forth... I think that after baby arrives parties are wonderful ideas. The mom could make a list of needed items and people could get together to not only see the baby but help out mom. Some friends of mine and I make meals for each other when we have a baby. A friend of mine suggested that we have a "welcome home baby" shower for another friend having her third. For that party we are to bring diapers (variety of sizes), wipes, a meal that could be frozen, and something for big brothers. The close friends all went in and bought her a Jumperoo (as she did not get one with her first 2- as they were not out). Just a thought!
Oh, also my neighbor does a secret house cleaning for her friends (she calls the husband/boyfriend etc. to work out deal details to get into the house while the mom is in the hospital- she also leaves gifts behind that she collected from others)

Some people may think it's tacky to have a shower for each child but I've never thought so. I think that bringing a new human being into this world is worth celebrating! If you're worried about people feeling obligated to bring a gift to the shower then you could make it a themed shower... like a "supplies shower" where people would bring diapers, wipes, creams, etc. or a "book shower" where everyone brings a book for your child. When I have my second child I hope someone wants to do this for me. I say pamper the mommy and celebrate the new child! Hope this helps.

Hi,
You've gotten tons of advice already but here's my .02. I was brought up w/ the whole one shower for first baby and that's it. I've never been invited to a shower for a second or more baby ever in my 30 years! However I do agree that a "meet the baby" party when baby is a few months old is okay. My third baby who happens to be my only boy was born in Jan. and MIL and AIL had a "Meet the baby" party when he was a couple months old. People who wanted to bring gifts could but I made sure and spread the word that no gifts were necessary, just come meet our little guy. I personally think full-blown showers for second and third babies is tacky, unless there's a huge age gap (5+ years.) JMHO

It looks like you've gotten a lot of responses on this already but...I don't think it's tacky at all! As some have said no matter whow many children you already have, there are things that are always needed for a new baby. Also, her other child is older and a boy. Many of the things that may have been saved (clothing, blankets, toys etc) from her prevous pregnancy may not be able to be used because of the gender difference.
I personally feel there shouldn't be a limit of baby showers based on number of children. The shower not only for gift giving purposes and helping out the new mom, but to help celebrate the new member to the family!

I am pretty sure a shower for a second child is a no-no as showers tend to provide the bigger things which can be used over for a second child. If people want to gift the second child (which they typically do), most will bring a gift to the baby after it is born.

I don't think it's tacky at all!
I have thrown what I refer to as a "sprinkle" for a couple of girlfriends having their second baby, and they have done so for me too. We kept it really informal - met out for lunch or did a little brunch at a house. No invitations, no registry. Just buying a friend what you want to get them. It's really fun to get together, and always fun to buy baby gifts, especially if baby #2 is the opposite sex!