At What Age Did You Have "The Talk" or Semi the Talk with Your Kids??

I have an 8 yo boy too, and I have kept any talks, very vague, and only if he asks about them - I see no reason to tell him any in depth stuff at this age. I think it is more important for girls to know because they develop a bit younger than boys.
He knows about menstruation, because he sees the stuff and asks what it is, so I explained about the womb lining building up for the baby, then coming out each month if it is not needed. That grossed him out for a while.
We have chickens, and a rooster, and they mate A LOT lol, so he knows something is going on, I explained it very simply that when the rooster goes on the hens back, it fertilizes the egg, and a baby will grow - and that is the extent of "talks" so far.
He knows a baby grows in the womb, and comes out of the vagina, because I had a 3 yo, but he doesn't know any mechanics, of how that happened!

My daughter has gotten a semi-talk already. Those began at around age 6. She'll be 8 in a few days. Our talks will never stop really. We use clinical terms and I state things matter of factly. If she has a question that I'm not sure how to answer, I tell her that I will have to get back to her on that and I always do. There have been a couple things that she's asked about that I know that she's not ready for yet. And I tell her that too.

I missed the boat.

On the "real" sex talk.

During a movie for school I had some scenes marked to FF though. When we got there my 8yo said "What's the big deal? They're just having sex."

Oy.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't not said ANYTHING (anatomy, genetics, etc. over the years fo'sho ...BUT NOT the actual mechanics, orgasms, etc), but when I (laughed and) probed for more info he gave me a pretty detailed summary of the entire process (sigh, along with pantomimes in a kissy kissy eeew kind of way), and then asked if I was still going to FF if he had time to make a sandwich. Totally non plussed.

We'll be having the mom-talk (aka I lay out my own spin and make sure our details actually all line up) some time in the next few weeks (he ended up in the hospital that same week).

But yeah. TOTALLY knew "everything" (aka about 80%).

We homeschool (aka no blaming schools/daycares). And none of the adults in his life have fessed up (dad, nana, aunties/uncles, etc.). So I'm pretty sure that he got it from a friend at some point this past year. On the upside; at least the info was pretty accurate AND it gives me a real 'segway'

I personally have NO problem with nicknames. It's not a collarbone, after all but a clavical. It's not fingers... but phalanges. Our bodies have at least 2 names for every body part; scientific and common usage. I've always taught my son both.

Our daughter was 8 and in third grade. She was in the back seat and had asked a question about condoms we had seen at a health center..

I just told her the ins and outs.. I also asked her to not discuss it with other kids at school, so that their parents could speak with them about it.. Her answer was "Do not worry, I do not e
ven want to think about it."

We started "talking" when she was a toddler and was communicating with us, asking questions, etc.

We've had open communication since she was a baby and it has stayed that way. Thankfully, she continues to feel comfortable enough to ask us anything and know she will not be judged, laughed at, etc. No question is stupid or silly.

If you don't feel comfortable talking, find someone who can be a confidant to your son if his father is not in the picture. He needs honest, communication. Also, if it makes you more comfortable, talk to him while driving or walking so you are not "looking" at him.

S.:

I've been having the "talk" with my kids since they were little. We have talked about body parts using their real names - using things we see in movies and on shows to see their "interest" level and what they THINK....then we talk about our values - we would like to think we are SHOWING them our values every day in our actions as well...

I think no age is too early, but there is too late, as long as its scientific and at a level they can understand and you answer questions honestly... it's human nature. I believe the more we make it uncomfortable the more future issues there will be. I'm assuming sometime before 6 for M....My daughter is 4 and extrememly cuirous about it, and at a certain point she called M. out on avoiding it, we've gotten to what parts in a girl are used and how a baby is born, and that a guy has ingredients and what all ingredients are in both people (i J. used seed instead of the clinical term, and egg for girls...silly but it was my hangup which i have to get over), she asked how they met and i avoided it a little, but I know next time it comes up I have to be honest, since all of the hangups are on my side.

I'm being "forced" to tell my daughter (who will be 8 in July) the semi-talk because she is developing early... Otherwise, I would have wanted to wait another year or two. A lot of girls are developing earlier... Which actually has me wondering about the huge gap between boys and girls with puberty. I don't hear much about boys reaching it sooner, but maybe they are, too [my daughter is thin, active, and we eat organically, AND early puberty runs in the family- so anyone that wants to PM me AGAIN about having my kid eat healthier or lose weight or what-not to avoid earlier puberty, there you go, it isn't because of something we are doing or not doing:) ]

Now, I do think that the subject is much better brought up when the occasion is right (new baby in the family or he is asking questions or you hear his friends talking about it, etc...). I wouldn't just bring it up out of the blue. That would be weird and awkward. UNLESS, time is just slipping away and there hasn't been the right time for it.

About five years ago I went through a parenting class at our church called "Growing kids God's Way" It covered the role a parent has in creating conversations and responding to our children's changing intersts/curiosity, but the things I really took away was to 1. always ask questions, "what do you think . . . ?" "What do you want to know . . .?" 2. keep the focus of any "baby" talk on plants, animals, etc. they can connect the dots to humans - it is disturbing for kids to talk about their parents in that context cause they just don't think of you like that - LOL! for example we started talking about how flowers grow and how it takes a mommy flower and daddy flower to make baby flowers (I know - he was 3 years old at the time) and that flowers have mommy and daddy parts to make flowers, etc. 3. small, continuous discussions are better than one or two "planned sit downs" with a manual and a book.
Best of luck - you can google "Growing Kids God's Way" if you want more info. or details on that section of the program.

I think its time, All my older kids had the benefit of babies being born and so that made the talk easier..Because they all asked and I answered.. Well come to think of it I never had a really LONG talk I answered questions as they came up- My 7 yr old asked things when she was 5 thanks to siblings & friends but I also had teens in the house so I had a book called "where do I come from?" about sex that they looked at.. and sometimes asked questions from I also have a book the Care and keeping of you (i think) american girl doll publishing. I think its easier if you just keep the lines of communication open. More than having a long talk. For my son who is 16 He learned how babies were made when he was 7 or 8 b/c he had a baby sister coming and he asked. then as he grew & watched movies and TV I talked with him about dating a relationships and how I think a man should treat his girl friend/ wife. I talked about respect and being equal and asked him to think about how he would want his sisters treated. I also talked to him about being safe and peer pressure. I had his dad talk to him about what his body is doing b/c i really don't know what it "feels" like... My 14 yol old daughter we have also had the talk , but she is less mature and has not dated but typing this I know I need to talk to her more! I think * is the perfect time to start!

We've started talking with our kids as toddlers giving appropriate names to body parts, answering questions when I was pregnant with my second, answering questions about why his sister looked different and that her brother does not have a tail (ha ha), etc. This is very different from my family. My mom decided to have "the talk" with me shortly before I got married--when I was 28. I had to get comfortable talking about sex for my job teaching, so I practiced saying the relevant words over and over again while looking in the mirror until I could do so without making a face. I think this meant I could have conversations that didn't make other people as uncomfortable because I didn't show my discomfort. Good luck.

I have heard great things about the Harris & Emberly books - It's So Amazing (age 7 & up) It's Perfectly Normal (age 9-12) and for younger kids (K-3rd grade) - It's Not the Stork. DS is 5 so I am going to order 'It's Not the Stork' next time I buy anything from Amazon.

I'd look for a boy's version of the Care and Keeping of You for girls. It was a good jumpstart for my SD and gave her info not just on puberty but all sorts of things about herself. I think that "the talk" is really a series of talks over time and you leave the door open for more information. Today it's puberty as a general concept. Tomorrow (so to speak) is girls and sex and drugs and peer pressure, etc. I wasn't in the picture when my SS was your son's age, but I'm sure the same concept applies and the other parents will have good book ideas.