Are People Too Busy to Return Phone Calls or Should I Take It as a Hint?

You know I was wondering that a few weeks ago. Some people are just rude!!
I think that we can give most people the benefit of the doubt, but the others, they are just all about themselves I think! Good question, maybe it will get some people to thinking about it!

Personally, sometimes I answer the text or message in my head and completely forget to actually text or call them back... this usually happens when I am doing something when I cannot text/call right away.

I always appreciate a second text or call...just as a reminder. But I wouldn't take it personal.

It could be either way. But I know there are times that somone calls me and I do not have time to call them at that moment.. then it slips my mind. It is innocent.

I like email, because I am better at returning those than a call at times.

Usually I give them the benefit of the doubt that they are just busy. I know I am right now and if I return calls or emails within a week it is a great turn around. Unless it is marked Urgent I reply when I have time. I also Do NOT make calls before 9am or after 9pm.

i forget.
i'm very forgetful.
:) khairete
S.

I second Maureen H. If it is a call I tend to forget rather easily about it, but an email I keep until I return it.

It's sort of sad that people think phone calls are a relic of a bygone age, but I do answer calls within 24 hours whenever possible.

I am neither too busy to talk nor am I allergic to phone conversations. I actually enjoy many chats, and I'm aware that some calls need to be brief. That said, my sister and I talked for 45 minutes this morning and it was wonderful.

I have some friends who just don't call back very often, so I may call them again to follow up or send an email with "Important" in the subject line. As for offending people-- more likely than not, no, people are not offended-- they just didn't call back because they flaked out and it's not a priority for them in the moment. Rude? Maybe, but true...

Please don't take it personally. I'm TERRIBLE at returning calls! Just send a reminder, "I know you're really busy, when is a good time to call and discuss ____________."

This may be rude of me, but I don't have time for phone calls. If you need something specific, make sure & leave a detailed message, and not just a general "hey give me a call when you get a chance." Because honestly? I never get a chance. If/when I have a free moment, I'd like to take a hot bath in quiet, or have sexy time with the husband (what the hell is that again?). Calling friends for casual conversation? Not gonna happen.

If I get an email or phone call at work there is a very good chance it has fallen into the abyss that is my brain by the drive home.

My rule of thumb is if you call someone during the day and leave a message, then another day at night, then another time during the weekend and they never call you back, they don't want to talk to you. Otherwise you are calling at the wrong time.

It depends on how many you have sent or how many times you have called? Are you also sure you have the right information? I have told my mom over and over if it is important or you need something then leave me a message with details. Otherwise I just think she wants to chat and I don't call until I have time to talk. I have 2 younger kids who require attention and work full time so I usually don't have a lot of time to chat. Sometimes I listen to a message or read an e-mail quickly when I don't have a lot of time and then forget to get back to the person.

If I get a message to "call me" with no details, it falls to the bottom of my list. It might be rude, but I want people to tell me what they want in the message. That way, I can have my response ready for them or decide how to prioritize it with my other stuff. I have been known to call people back and learn what they want and then tell them that I can't/won't have that discussion right then but will contact them later. That's how I handle MY phone calls, personal and professional.

Talking on the phone zaps a lot of my energy (spiritually), so I try not to do it too often. Unless it's urgent (or one of my regulars), I prefer emails or text messages. That way, I can have all the details right there to read and re-read if necessary and then respond in my own time. No phone tag or waiting, etc.

Sometimes it is a matter of forgetting, especially if the email rotates off that first page. I'm never offended if someone makes second contact just to confirm receipt of the first contact. My grandmother thinks that ALL her emails require responses, no matter what they're about. I think that it's a matter of personal preference and knowing the preference of the person you're wanting to contact.

What kind of calls are they? Are they social calls, or calls to coordinate something, or business calls?

Social calls I rarely get a chance to return because my house can get pretty loud and chaotic during the day, and then by the time I get my kids to sleep at night I figure that the other person is probably either eating dinner or putting their own kids to sleep.

Sometimes I have my babysitter come JUST so I can go make some phone calls = sad.

I have to make business or other important calls my priority.

If it is a social call I might just text or email the person and let the other person know that I got their message and was hoping to get a chance to call them. I usually ask them when a good time is to call them back.

Your question goes right up there with others like "how come noone RSVPs to parties anymore?".

You are expecting a formality that has become ancient in this day and age.

If you need an answer, keep pursuing the person until you get it, esp if it will affect your job or your family.

I just assume people have a sieve for a brain, like I do, and try not to take offense. Sometimes, it takes a few calls from the generous people who love me before I get back to them. I appreciate the reminders & follow up -- even though I feel bad that I need them.

people are too busy, don't take it personally. I frequently forget to respond. I really try to do it when I get the call or email, but if I let it go, I completely forget. Just call again in a week.

I guess it depends. There are some people in my life who if I leave 3 messages for with no return call I know without a doubt it's not intentional and they still love me and everything is good.

However, there are more casual friendships where if I left 2 messages without getting a return call, those people would be moved to the back of the line, in my mind. My way of thinking at this point would be -- if they wanted to be in communication with me they will call at some point. They now know I've make the effort with them and the ball is in their court. If they never call, then they are telling you exactly how they feel about you.

I don't really buy that people are so busy or distracted that they don't contact people they want in their lives. However, people ARE so busy and distracted that they don't contact people they either don't care are around or they don't want around.

From my perspective, I don't want to be friends with someone who can't be bothered to return my call or email or whatever. No thanks. The reason I'm like this is beause I spent years trying to forge more meaningful friendships with people where very fair-weathered friends. It was exhausting and stressful and I finally realized I'd rather have a couple GREAT friends than lots of friends who couldn't be bothered.

I'm sure you have not offended anyone - and I feel this way too - all the time if I say something wrong or it comes out wrong.

How do you know? If they call you back they want you in their life. If they don't call you back, they don't want you in their life - at least not in any meaningful way. Would you ignore someone again and again that you wanted around?

Take a hint and wait.

Depends on what your call or message is about and whether it is a business or a private person. For my job I have always responded within 24 hours as my job required.

Privately I only listen to my voicemail every couple of days and will let emails go for a few days until I have time to answer them, unless they require my immediate attention.
I know many people find it rude, but it is my philosophy that just because we can be instantly and everywhere available at this age as that doesn't mean that I must make myself available to everyone at all times. As a matter of fact if you call me you are more likely to find my phone turned off and going to voice mail than me answering.
It drives my husband (who checks his smartphone about every 5 minutes) nuts, but I can't live constantly connected like that.
Good luck.

I spend an incredible amount of time e-mailing, texting and talking on the phone for work (I'm in clinical laboratory sales, same day or couple hour response is ideal). If I get a vague call from a friend that could easily turn into an hour call, I have to make sure I have enough time for that. Are you phoning with a "hey, just calling" or are you giving some details? For me it is helpful to be efficient and give details or to let it be known it is just for a chat.