Am I over Reacting Here

How can a doctor give sound medical advice without first seeing the patient? I would be more concerned about him as a doctor if he was willing to do that.

What do I think? I think I would make an appointment and see if there was a valid reason for him to ask you to make an appointment before I switched practices.

Like others have said, there could be an underlying medical condition he wishes to rule out. Maybe he feels this would take more than 5 minutes to discuss.

Rather than jump to conclusions, make an appointment to see what he has to say.

Yes, I think that you are overreacting to a certain extent. I would expect that the doctor would want to you to make an appointment. However, I would also expect a call back in less than 2 days as well.

My irritation is when the folks answering the phones are not knowledgeable enough to answer ANY questions. For instance, my son had issues with his two bottom adult teeth popping through before the baby teeth fell out. Essentially, he had two rows of teeth for a while. I called the pediatric dentist's office to ask if that was normal and to determine if I should make a special appointment to come in or if it was something that could wait until his next cleaning. The woman answering the phone would flat out not say one way or another. I was FINE with making a appointment, I just wanted to know if I needed to. She just told me that I was welcome to make an appointment if I was concerned. I really wanted to tell her to put someone on the phone that could be remotely helpful whether that was a technician or the dentist himself...

Hi. I'm a medic. Yes, you are way overreacting. I can tell you that doctors actually want to see patients because they want to rule out any physical ailments or concerns by examining their patients prior to making a diagnosis. To do otherwise is irresponsible and could potentially result in a malpractice suit.

Did you tell the nurse your concerns? Did she still tell you to bring your son in for an appointment? Then maybe that's what you should do.

If I call my dentist and say "my tooth hurts," do you think he's going to have a cure for me on the phone? Of course not.

If I call the doctor and say "my son is behaving strangely in class" do you think he's going to be able to fix that over the phone? Of course not. He needs to properly assess your son. In person.

ETA: Doctors call back for emergent concerns. Can we treat this fever at home, or do we need to come in? My child is possibly having a reaction to her new meds, will a Benadryl fix it? And 95% of the time? The nurse can answer the question. Your school concern isn't an emergency. It can wait for an appointment.

I think I would be pretty pissed if my doctor left those of us, in waiting room patients, who bothered to make an appointment and come in, sit even longer while he returned every "three to five minute" phone call from some parent who didn't feel the need to be bothered to make an appointment like the rest of us.

Yep, you are over reacting. If your doc had a "3 minute" phone call with each of his hundreds of patients every day, he'd be out of a job.

Better to talk face to face anyway.

:)

I would never DREAM of asking my kids' doctor to have a conversation on the phone about school trouble.

When my son was having trouble in school and I knew it wasn't JUST behavioral, I made an appointment, got a referral, and saw a specialist.

It's NOT going to be a 3-5 minute call, unless you're doing all the talking. You really need to make an appointment. The doctor's not your pal, he's your health care professional.

ETA: Like Jane, I am also a doctor's wife. I have NEVER used it to get preferential treatment for me or any of my kids. I don't even tell my kids' doctors that my husband is a doctor, unless one of my kids blurts it out, or they recognize our name. I don't want to be treated differently. I make the appointments, wait for the first available appt, even if that is weeks away. Why do I do this? Because I see how dog tired my husband is every day--totally exhausted--falling asleep on the sofa each night, laptop still open, although it's long entered "hibernation" mode, his glasses falling off his face. Nope, I'm not going to add to that burden. I'll wait my turn.

Mama,

Yes, in my opinion you are TOTALLY over reacting.

1. A doctor can be sued for NOT giving the right information.
2. SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT. It's really that simple. If you want to talk to the doctor ABOUT your son without your son there - MAKE THE APPOINTMENT...
3. I don't know your past history with the doctor nor do I know your son's "issues". What I DO know??? You are concerned about something. Enough to call the doctor. But aren't so concerned that you can't be bothered to go in to see him.

I would MUCH rather have a doctor who wants to deal with me face-to-face rather than a doctor that will dole out information without seeing me or my child.

Make the appointment.

I am 45 years old, have three kids (now teens and older) and have never, ever had a doctor call me personally unless it was to discuss lab or test results. Even then it was usually a nurse or assistant.
If I wanted to speak to the doctor I had to make an appointment.
Why don't you just discuss your issue with the nurse line? They are usually very helpful.

Why are you calling the doctor about school issues? He deals with medical issues. Perhaps the school situation is related to medical issues but you did not tell him that. Your vague description tells him there is more to know and it's unlikely that a 2-3 minute conversation is enough time. It will take a few minutes for you to outline the problem.

When I have a question with a quick answer I tell his assistant the question. She asks the doctor and calls me back. The assistant calls me back; not the doctor. It has always been this way with several doctors and different questions. In fact frequently the doctor tells the aide to make an appointment for me.

I suggest you are saying you know more than the doctor in how to run his business. He knows based on experience and training what works best. I know based on years of experience that if a child'difficulties at school are related to medical issues that question takes more than 2-3 minutes to answer. And if the answer is not medical to call a different person.

I suggest that if you truly only need a 2 minute answer you ask his medical assistant and expect her to find an answer for you. Remember she is trained in medical issues and has the ear of the doctor.

The only "over the phone" work done at the pediatrician's office is when you get a nurse or nurse practitioner on the line who can quickly advise you on a physical problem, resulting in "yes bring him in" or "try this and that, watch for this and that, and call back tomorrow if you don't see improvement." You give them symptoms, they say whether or not you can put off an appointment.

A behavioral health or school issue requires a more extensive conversation, which means make an appointment.

Overreacting? Yes. More specifically, you have unreasonable expectations.

If you're looking for a referral to have your child assessed due to some school-related problems, that is a very specific request. You identify that request and ask for a referral. I would expect a nurse would call you back.

If you're looking to chat through some issues, make an appointment. That way, the doctor gets paid for his time.

If it is a question regarding symptoms, tell the nurse this. A nurse may call you back with a suggestion on what to do.

It sounds like you were being cagey and uninformative in the call. Therefore, they need you to come in.

A doctor's time and advice is worth something -- money. If you asked a non-specific, non-emergent question, I'm assuming the doctor wasn't able to fit it into his schedule and would rather talk to you during an appointment when he can give you undivided attention.

I would fully expect my pediatrician to call me back if my question was regarding a cough or stomach ache or ear pain. But just a general question? I personally would have scheduled an appointment. I would want to pay him for his advice if it weren't an emergency situation. He did go to school a few years for this.

I think you are over reacting. Finding another pediatrician who would sit on the phone with you for a few minutes for advice probably won't be easy. I work at a doctor's office and unless the call is emergency in nature, a nurse returns the call. If you were asking for this where I work, the doctor would ask us to make you an appointment. There isn't enough time in the day to spend three minutes with you and three minutes with someone else and on and on. You're not the only one asking questions over the phone you know. And by the way, your message sounded so open-ended and vague..... if I were the doctor I'd expect that one to take a long time, not three minutes.

Some may not feel it's the same thing, but in a way it is. I am a veterinarian and own my own practice. It's one thing if I have a pet owner call up about a concern they are having with their pet that we just saw recently. It's another if someone is calling with a whole new concern that they want to discuss over the phone that may or may not require an exam and other diagnostics to figure out. I've had my employees too many times take phone messages that say things like:

"Mrs. A called, Fluffy has been vomiting for a few days, she's wondering what she can do."

"Mrs. B called, she thinks Coco is constipated and she wants to talk to you."

"Mr. X called, he thinks Sweetie has a urinary tract infection and wants to know if he can just pick up antibiotics - or if he can just try giving her apple cider vinegar and yogurt because he heard that can help."

What do you think my response is going to be?

Sure, I could call them back. But the only way the phone conversation is going to only be 3 minutes if I say, "We can make an appointment for an exam, figure out what is going on, and then go from there." and the person on the other end just makes the appointment. My receptionist can do that. Otherwise, if I call them back, it's a 15 minute phone conversation that still ends in, "We still need to see your pet." That is time that potentially takes me away from other clients and other tasks. That is time that I am not getting paid for. Sorry if that sounds harsh to people, but I have a business to run and time is money and I am offering a valuable service that cost me many years of education and tuition dollars to be able to offer.

Doctors are busy people and it's probably easier for them to just have the time scheduled with them as an appointment than to have to return a hundred phone calls at the end of the day.

Well if you have concernS, most likely the phone call will be longer than 3-5 minutes. We did have one doctor who was great about that, loved it!! We were also always there for 3 hours minimum because he was always behind. Ultimately, we left for his inability to see us in a timely manner. Waiting 90 minutes with a sick kid is not acceptable in my book.

You need to make an appointment. Also, he told the nurse to tell you to come in. He got your message and says it warrants a visit. Go. Don't play with your child's health concerns.

yes, you're being unrealistic in your expectations. at best, you could ask the nurse to ask the dr your question and report back to you. but if you want to speak to the dr, schedule an appointment. you may see if they'd allow you to participate in the appt by phone.

It really depends on the issue. Personally, I don't get that you want a paid professional to give you free advice. And as others have pointed out, it's not a 3 minute phone call for the doctor.

Doctors like to see their patients, which is why they don't return calls during the day. And I'd rather have a doctor that is a little cautious than one that isn't.

Sorry, but I agree with your doctor. It makes NO sense that this is a 3 minute call type of question for you to ask him. He can't possibly do justice to your son by doing what you ask.

I don't know if you just don't understand, or if you don't want to pay for a doctor's visit. I don't think that a new doctor is in his best interest. His current doctor at least knows him.

Put your pride aside and do what's right for your son.

The rules doctors have to follow in HMOs and PPOs are very strict. They are scheduled so tightly they do not have time to return phone calls. Appointments are usually 15 minutes apart. If an appointment with one patient takes longer than 15 minutes they are behind schedule all day.
Call and make an appointment to talk to the doctor. He has to be able to account for all of his time daily.

I am personal friends with my children's pediatrician and he would not spend five minutes on the phone with me. I would be asked to come in like everyone else. I would think you would be okay with this considering where your doctor would find that time to talk to you. Would you want to be the patient that has to wait an extra, five, ten, twenty minutes? More than that would you want to give up five minutes of your time with the doctor in person for him to provide this service?

So if you really are going to bail and you do find another doctor you may want to add the question how long do you spend per patient. You will find that a doctor that can take calls and not charge you will spend five to ten minutes less per patient to provide that service.

Pediatricians tend to spend half the time with Medicaid patients, so that they can make costs. When you consider that do you really think he should 'give' you five minutes? I am pretty sure most doctors would rather give it to their poor patients.

While you may feel like the "issues" can be covered in 3 minutes, the doctor might be concerned that conversations like this tend to need more time.

It wouldn't just be you giving the doctor some info. Your doctor will need to ask you some questions to really make sure he/she completely understands the situation.

Wouldn't you rather the doctor give you the attention your concerns require? An appointment will ensure that.

Did you give the doctor any other information? Maybe a basic idea of what your concerns are? I've found people respond much better to,"I'm concerned about x, y and z, can we talk?" than they do to a generic, "I have concerns."

One of my SIL's leaves messages that just say to call. Drives me nuts. Tell me what you want! Sometimes I've called to ask which day is better. Rather than leaving me a message saying which is better she'll ask me to call her back. Ug! Just say Friday!

Yes you are over reacting. Dr's are very very busy they see roughly 4-6 people an hour giving 10-15/ person sometimes they run longer and they get backed up and can run over an hour a day at least. With my daughter's dr and my ob I am able to sign into a system at home and email the doctors and they can answer any concerns and even put scripts in for us as well. They don't have time to sit on the phone and answer questions. Email is so much easier because in a few seconds they can reply back.

The world had changed when it comes to how doctors must practice their practice. Every minute that the doctor is "in" he must account for quantity as well as quality of patients. Or his profitability goes down.

You want a 3 minute chat with the doc. Well, that's 3 minutes from the next patient as they are usually scheduled at 10 minutes apart. I saw on a poster in an office once that the doctor would only discuss what the patient was being seen that day. Anything else required an appointment.
It sucks but sometimes we have to do what is requested or we don't get responses. Your 3 minute call could turn into a 20 minute call within a blink of an eye.

Plan a time and go see the doctor. If you are shopping around, make sure that the doctor will do call backs to parents of his patients.

the other S.

Typically, unless I have made a "phone consultation appointment" I either use the email system our pediatrician offers or I talk to the nurse. The nurse may also reply to my emails if the doctor is busy. When you say, "Issues in school" that could be very broad. If you are asking for your child to be evaluated for ADHD, for example, I can see why that could warrant an in-person visit to discuss it with you, talk to your child, etc. It sounds to me like your doctor may be the only one at that office and very busy. I wouldn't be offended. I would either make an appointment or leave a very specific message and let the nurse relay that at the end of the day and call you back. You asked for "next steps". It sounds like the answer, though you may not like it, is "make an appointment."

ETA: If you do have Kaiser, there's a way to contact your doctor via email. It's handy. You can also make an appointment to *gasp* discuss something over the phone. But it's still an appointment.

School problem apparently not a medical issue. Those calls never take two or three minutes. These docs hardly have enough time to return calls to parents that have ill children. If you are looking for another pediatrician over this, not sure you will find one to satisfy all your needs. Yes you are overreacting.

Yes, you're overreacting. If you have enough of a concern about your child at school that you're calling his doctor, then you need to make and appointment where he has time to discuss all this with you.

Doctors very often overbook themselves and don't have enough time to pee, let alone spend time on the phone with a patient. What you think will be a 3-5 minute call can easily become a 15-30 minute call, and then s/he is that far behind with all his/her appointments.

I don't think you are going to find a doctor who will tell you any different. If you want to discuss something with a physician you make an appointment. That is common practice. You say it will be a short call but the doctor has no way of knowing just how long it will take to answer your questions.

The only time I've really spoken directly to my pediatrician over the phone has been for after hours calls. During office hours doctors are simply too busy with office patients to return phone calls. If you have a question that can't go through a nurse and takes more than a sentence to answer, you need to make an appointment. I know it's a pain, I have to take my daughter in every 3 months basically to get a prescription written. Our ped looks her over so we can "get our money's worth" and feel like he's doing something but the whole thing basically takes 10 minutes. Yes, you are overreacting and yes, you should make an appointment.

Leaving a message for a Doctor about some concerns I have about my 8 year old son in school... is a big VAUGE, thing.
It does not take 3 minutes to "discuss" that.
He has to get out your son's file, document things, note things down what was said etc. And, he cannot "diagnose" anything... based on a 3 minute call, much less over the phone, no matter how simple it seems to you. And he cannot make recommendations based on a 3 minute call. And he cannot make calls to every patient, without having had seen the patient first. There is also liability to consider too.

My kids' Pediatrician, does call me back, if/when I have called him, as a FOLLOW up, to him having seen my child just the other day. But I noticed, his calls back to me, were at LUNCH time. HIS lunch time.
And my calls to him were per his telling me, to call him back about my kids' condition. And, many times, I have left messages with his Nurse. And they often have, like 21 patients in a given day, to see. In 8 hours. And they do not rush patients being seen. No matter what their insurance is. They work hard and long, often even after hours. So, with that in mind, I do not expect our Pediatrician to call me back, within 1/2 hour or within any short time. BUT if it is an EMERGENCY, then I say so in my phone call... but at that point, I just take my child in. And they will MAKE room to see him/her. They have often, FIT my child in to be seen, that same day, when it was necessary. Overbooking their appointment schedule.
And per any phone call or message I send them, I WILL SAY, if I need a call back "right away"... or if... it is not, an urgent thing needing a same day, response.

I think, you just need to make an appointment for your son to be seen.

I agree with the posts below that the doctor does need to see you for longer. He also is probably assuming that whatever you need to ask, he will need to see or talk with your son as well, and he can't do that on the phone.

Also, cut him some slack: He may have to have a "make an appointment" policy due to liability concerns. He is possibly covering himself legally by telling everyone -- not just you -- that he has to see a patient, in person, rather than answering questions over the phone. This probably helps him cover his backside legally. If he were seen by parents or insurers or especially his own malpractice insurance company as being a doctor who diagnoses over the phone, he's going to be in a heap of insurance and licensing trouble. I would not take this at all personally. In fact I would WANT a doctor to want to see my child -- unless it was a situation of a child with an ongoing issue where the doctor saw the child on a regular and ongoing basis anyway, and the call was merely a clarification of something said in an appointment.

One other thing: Does his office have a "nurses' triage line" or other way to call and ask a nurse things? Ours does. We can call and describe the situation to the nurse, who can help determine if it's appointment-worthy or not, and can advise on things like what over the counter meds to use if it's something that does not need a visit. If your concern is something minor medical, that is the way to go. You mention the concern being about your son "in school" so maybe the issue is behavioral, or physical but triggered in school -- in which case-- yes, a visit is needed.

You are 100% overreacting and as someone already said you're not respecting your doctor's time. Your pediatrician SHOULD be asking you to make an appointment because the issue you want to discuss is not a 3-to-5 minute call. You have to already know that it would draw out to at least 15-30 minutes, the length of an appointment, and that's stealing the pediatrician's time.

If you're actually concerned about your son and want the pediatrician's input, then give your SON the courtesy of having a face to face with the pediatrician while your son is also present if you can't do it for the courtesy of the doctor.

You can go ahead and doctor shop but I'd never ever choose a doctor like the one you apparently are looking for. That would be a subpar doctor.

I have a family doctor who will call back personally. He is great and when the kids were little I did call a few times over the years. He saved me money in not having to come in for a quick question. He even gave me his cell number when he was out of town. Of course most doctors don't do this but he just really cares about his patients and chooses to run and small more personal practice. His wait times are actually about the same or less than other doctors we've seen.

I think it's strange how we make special allowances for certain professions like medical and law. Seems that most doctors and lawyers charge down to the minute for their time and we accept it. Many expect us to wait extended periods in the waiting room too. It didn't used to be that way but it's the norm now.

I run a small business. Some clients require more hand holding and time then others. My time is valuable but it's all part of doing business. I cannot imagine telling a client I'd had for 8 years that I just couldn't speak to them on the phone without a fee. Why are other professionals any different?

It may be that the doctor feels like they need to see your son in the flesh before they can go any further.

Does your doctor have an email communication system, a 'patient portal'? Many clinics and doctor's offices have this method of communication for regular patients.

If I were a doctor, personally, I might want to see the child. If it doesn't warrant the doctor directly--which means an appointment would be advisable-- usually the pediatric triage nurse takes the call and gives advice. If I want more than that, I have to make an appointment, at least, that's how it usually works at our son's doctor's office.

I have never expected my doctor to call me and talk over my concerns. I have always thought face to face is much better, personally. That way I know I have the dr's undivided attention.
Usually, if the nurses can't handle my question, I make an appointment. You can shop for a new dr. but I think you are going to run into the same issue in most practices.

You are being very unrealistic. Doctors have to bill for thier time. Plus depending on how long it has been since your son has been to see the doctor they may need to do some updates. Doctors only really call a patient to discuss any test results. You need to make an appointment. Any doctor office would be the same way.

I think in this day and age in the medical field you are going to get this type of reaction.

Are you concerned about a mental health issue? Has this doctor seen you son for the issue before? Regardless, I would think it would be prudent for the doctor to want to see you and/or your son personally.

Make the appointment.

I have gone to the same doctor for *decades*. He had his own private practice. I knew all the people who worked for him. I could give a call and get advice (or an appointment) pretty quickly.

Increasingly, over the years, an appointment was necessary. There was less and less over-the-phone advice. It might have to do with insurance regulations, or legal problems that come with telephone consultations. It also has to do with the doctor's time. There probably isn't just one "call me back" request (yours or mine) - there are probably fifty.

Early this year my M.D. closed his private practice and went with a group. That's the big thing around here, instead of individual practices. This new place has an incredible system. I've never jumped through so many hoops just to get to talk to my doctor! The first time I had to call (on a Thursday), suspecting I had strep, the appointment-making person said, "I can't get you in to see your doctor until next Wednesday." I said, "What if I have strep? What should I do until next Wednesday?" She tried to see if I could see another doctor - no available appointments until next Wednesday. Then she tried calling a couple of other places - no appointments until next Wednesday. Finally she said she'd call back if there was a cancellation and, sure enough, there was. Then I had four million (it seemed) forms to fill out and a warning that the doctor had only twenty minutes to give me so I needed to stick to the specific ailment. What regimentation!

I've talked to the people there since that time. I've learned that they have all those nasty rules to keep things running fairly well on time, and to protect their doctors. My doctor is happy there, but he's also having to learn the system. He has a lot of new rules, too.

You could try to find another doctor, or you could try getting to know the system of your doctor's office as it's working right now. Pick everybody's brains! Ask when the best time is to call. Ask what information you can and can't get over the phone. Learn how it all works, so that you can make the best use of it. I have a feeling medical things will get more complicated in the future, not less. You have my sympathies.

I don't think I've ever had a pediatrician who wouldn't speak to me on the phone. Sure, it may take a day or two to get a call back for a non-urgent issue, but they ALWAYS have called back. I'm surprised to see so many people below who have pediatricians who won't talk to them on the phone (or via e-mail; we've had a few doctors who use secure websites to communicate about such issues also). We have moved a few different times, and have changed insurance plans, so I think my kids are on pedi #6 or 7 by now, maybe... So, yeah, I think it's reasonable to expect a call back for a minor/non-urgent issue. I would also expect the advice nurse to be able to give advice, or at least give you some idea about how the doctor would want to address the issue. Maybe if she had said, "Well, in this case, the doctor will want to speak with your son and we will need to take some vitals and order some lab tests..." or whatever, then that to me would also have been reasonable. But to insist that you come in for what could be just a 5 minute chat on the phone seems odd. Has your pedi always been this way, or is this something new?

To me, calling you "about some concerns you have about 8yr old in school" reads like "think we have to have him evaluated" which equals bringing him in so you can discuss and have a consult.

I agree the doctor could call you back to get a feel for what your concerns are but I can also see why he wants you to come in. I will tell you that my kids' doctor often got on the phone with me even when I didn't necessarily need him to so I don't think you are asking too much....I have also heard that my doctor seems to be the rare gem.

If you left a very vague message, then I understand that the doctor might not call. The doctor may have had these conversations with parents many times in the past and knows that they take longer than a couple of minutes. This is not an emergency, and it doesn't sound like a physical health issue, which is what the doctor's phone time is for. Yes, a return call would have been courteous, and they should not be waiting two days for without someone getting back to you at all. But please realize that the doctor's office may be inundated with parents calling with all types of concerns, and the doctor's first concern is for actual medical issues and calling parents of patients with medical test results. Managed care expects a doctor to see SEVEN patients in an hour and bill for them. And then be reimbursed something like $36 rather than the $150 his actual charge is. Phone calls are on the doctor's own time, they are not billable, i

Good luck with your son. If this is your only dissatisfaction with your doctor, I would suggest reconsidering doctor shopping, and make the appointment to see your doctor. Trust that he knows that this should not be a speedy conversation and that he wants to give you the proper time for a thorough discussion

If the issue is something that can be addressed over the phone then the nurse on the phone should be more than equipped to address it. Doctors are reluctant to give medical advice over the phone because of the legal liability. Yours may not be a big issue but if he answers your medical query then he opens himself/herself to having to answer every phone call and that's just not realistic.

I'm not sure what exactly you told the nurse, so this may or may not apply but...

If it is really a simple question that a doctor can answer by phone in 3 minutes, then you should be able to give the specific question to the nurse, and she can check with the doc and get back to you with an answer. My ped does this all the time. I call, give the nurse the symptoms and details. She checks with doc and calls me back either with a resolution, or to schedule an appointment if the doc has additional concerns.

If, for example, you want a referral to a developmental pediatrician to screen for ADHD, then you should say this specifically to the nurse. The ped, through the nurse, should be able to refer you to a specialist without a visit.

If you want to discuss ongoing behavior problems, then this is more than a 3 minute conversation, and you should make an appointment.

Or, if you did tell the nurse the specific question, and she came back and said make an appointment, then the doctor clearly feels that this is NOT as simple as you think it is, and can't be answered quickly. So make the appointment.

You do have unrealistic expectations of your doctor to call you back with that vague of a message. You should have given the nurse more specific information for her to relay to the physician. His response may have still been to make an appointment, but she may have been given a response to your request to relay (particularly if this was something that you had discussed with the doctor at a prior appt). When doctors do return calls, they usually get out the patient chart, document the discussion, and handle the follow-up (referral, rx called into a pharmacy, ordering tests). They should be compensated for that time.

I do not know of a Dr. that will take phone calls. This type of thing is left up to the nurse and if they feel it is of concern then the nurse suggests that you come in. The Dr. does not have time to answer phone calls as they are usually backed up seeing those that have come in. This is a common practice and no matter where you go, you will not be able to speak to the Dr. about your concerns, just the nurse.

Yes. You have unrealistic expectations. Doctors do not take time out of their day to visit about anything with patients who aren't in the office. They get paid to visit with their patients who make an appointment for their time.

I suggest you make an appointment with the doc for a regular check up and ask the doc at that time about your concerns.

They are a doc, they get paid by the patient. It's rude to expect free advice on the phone. Would probably be wrong anyway.

To be honest pediatricians or family doc's aren't the ones who you should be calling about school issues anyway.

If you think there is something wrong with his eyes make an appointment with the eye doc.

If you think it's hearing then make an appointment with an ENT or ORL doc.

If it's behavioral then ask the school to have the school psychologist observe him a few days and see what they say. A psychologist is the professional that treats behavioral issues.

Otherwise it's like going to an OB/GYN for a heart attack. They're still docs and have a bit of general knowledge about the area you're asking about but they aren't a specialist in that field and may not have any current knowledge about new meds, techniques, and more out of date stuff.

I have had doctors call me back on occasion but usually it's the nurse who relays the question to the doctor along with the response. I've only requested this when a question or concern comes up AFTER I've already had a physical appointment for the problem.

If these are new concerns you have about your son in school, then you definitely need to make an appt., unless your doctor has some way of billing your insurance for a phone appt.

There are times I wish I could just chat with my childrens doctor but I know that is not the case.
I have had a specialist call me back when we are dealing with an issue and they know I am calling.
If this is the only reason why you are shopping for a new doctor I would reconsider but if there are other problems then maybe look around.
Many blessings to you

I have never had a doctor refuse to speak with me like that. Wow, I can't believe any one else tolerates that from their doctor. If you decide to change docs, ask about this specifically. I know there are many doctors that have this policy, but I would never sign on with one. We've had three doctors in the past 18 years, and all of them would return my calls. If they couldn't, a nurse would call me to talk about it and then call me back with a response, if it was necessary due to the doc's schedule.

My kids are 15,14,13 and 11 and they had the same pediatrician since we moved to this area when my oldest was two. He was amazing, but he retired this past year. He would call us with concerns after an appointment and always call us back personally if we called with any questions. my daughter had a health scare right after transferring to a new doctor, so I could her old doctor for advice. He called me back, and kept in touch I've the next two weeks to make sure I was comfortable. He even called once after he retired just to follow up.

I do like the new doctor, but I know it won't be the same. Most doctors today just don't do that anymore,unfortunately.

I'm pretty sure doctors don't do that. If you're concerned make an appointment. The only time I've spoken to my daughters' doctor over the phone was when we had an appointment and she said she would call me later to update me on something we spoke about in the office. I've known her 3 years.

I guess I'm in the minority here. I don't think that you were asking too much.
Doctors are not God or the POTUS!
Ask about these scenarios when you're looking at potential new docs.
Good luck!

Perhaps insurance providers are not good about paying the doctor for phone consultation services.

My daughter's PED will make calls & emails. It is a new service. However, the price for the service is posted all over the wall in the waiting room, and the little patient room.

People can turn a 3 minute call into 20 minutes...myself included. In my line of work, I ask that people refer to the FAQ before I answer their questions, because i have other callers and because I have other work to do. They still try to ask. Unfortunately, when I am assisting people, usually by phone, I start looking at the length of the call. I make note of it, so I can explain to my supervisor if I am questioned about what was done for the day. If I don't note it, they won't believe it.

If you have a bad taste for this doctor at this point, I suggest you switch doctors and ask about your expectations before hand. Although, things like taking phone calls can change over time.

It's hard to answer without knowing what the issue is and if will result in a truly 3-5 minute conversation.

I think that you need to be 100% comfortable with your dr. If this upsets you, you should go elsewhere. But I don't know if you'd get different service.

I'd go ahead and make the appt. Once you get your answer, then you can let him know that you think a phone call could have solved this a lot easier.

I may be in the minority here...or my doctors are just amazing because ALL of my doctors and our girls doctors return calls on a regular basis. In fact our peds doctor gave us her cell phone number to call at our discretion when I interviewed her the first time. That is one of the reasons I choose this peds practice when I was pregnant with our firstborn. This office is open mon-fri from 8-5. Tuesday and Thursday they stay open until 7. Saturday they have walk in sick call from 8-10 am.

I have used that number on many occasions when necessary. Now I do not call her for every silly thing but if one of the girls become ill after hours or on Sundays our dr wants to know about it. She wants to hear the details to determine the best course of action. Depending on what is going on she will tell us to meet her at her office and other times she will tell us to meet her at the hospital.

Come to think of it, the other doctor in the practice is just as amazing. He was covering while our doctor was on vacation. Our youngest was 6 months old at the time. She started with a fever around 10 pm. Within 1/2 hour she was up to 105. I knew our dr was on vacation so we jumped in the car and headed to the ER. They started running basic tests to see what was going on. Her white blood cell counts were through the roof. The ER doc could not find anything wrong so around midnight they called our ped's office on call dr. He told them what tests he wanted run and instructed them to call him back as soon as the results were in. I hadn't met this dr yet as he had only recently joined the practice.

I was sitting on the bed rocking my baby while my husband was attempting to get our oldest child to fall asleep on a recliner chair. I looked up and saw a man in pajama's come racing in our room. I was rather startled and thought wth is this guy doing. He introduced himself with words I'll never forget "Hi, I'm Dr Cook, please excuse the intrusion but after I hung up the phone I was unable to stop thinking about "M." I laid there for about 5 minutes and knew I had to come in here and see "M" for myself. I would have been here sooner but I didn't want to wake my wife and kids so I couldn't open the garage doors. I borrowed my son's bike and pedaled here so we could wait for the test results together. "

Number 1, he had never met my children before but our ped's office is "portable." They all have laptops and tablets and can access the medical records at anytime. He had "M's" records up while speaking with the ER dr.

Number 2, he cared enough about this patient he had never met to hop on his son's bike and pedal to the hospital to wait with us for the results.

Number 3, he was so concerned about my child that he didn't even realize he was still in his pj's. I thanked him for coming in to be with us and told him I loved his "outfit." Only then did he realize he hadn't stopped to get dressed...lol. We all had a good laugh and he ran to grab scrubs.

He stayed with us through round after round of tests. They could not find what was making her sick. He admitted her to the hospital and escorted us to our room around 5 am. He stayed there throughout the morning shift change to make sure he could speak with both sets of nurses. Then he told us he would be back in a few hours to check on us.

He and our regular doctor were back in the room with us at 9am. We wound up in the hospital for over a week. They were concerned it was an infection around her brain and had discussed doing a spinal tap with us. They were giving us a few hours to decide our next step when her fever finally broke and the white blood cells started dropping.

Thankfully it appeared to have just been a virus but none of them had ever seen a virus last 7 days with a fever of 105 the entire time. We now know that is just the way M's immune system works. She gets sick and her body literally cooks out the germs. 105 has become common place around here even with a minor ear infection.

My point in relaying this long story is if a Dr is too busy to return a phone call then he/she is not the doctor for my family. If I am ever made to feel like a "number" then I will be moving my healthcare elsewhere.

If I made an appointment to see the girls dr only to ask a few questions she would answer my questions and then say "Next time just shoot me a text and I'll call you when I'm free." I know this to be true because I have made an appointment before just to address a few concerns about our oldest regarding school and that's exactly what she told me.

Peace and Blessings,
Mom2M&Ms

I think it totally depends on the question you are asking. Clearly you are asking something he feels he cannot answer without clinically assessing your child. An alternate explanation is that he feels he deserves to be paid for his time and would not be paid for a phone call but would for an office visit. This may be overly cynical, but what you see as a 3 minute call he may see as a 20 minute call depending on topic or even on your past behavior (do you get overly chatty or needy with him?).

I think if you are not satisfied, find a different doctor. But I'd also clarify the reason behind his insistence. I'll bet there is a valid reason.

I would expect to leave more information for the doctor than you gave here. Did you? I mean.... I wouldn't even call up a plumber and ask them to call me without saying what I was interesting in hiring them to do.

What you told us here is so vague that I can't even decipher if it is something that would fall under the purview of a pediatrician. So, your son got a bad report card or something? What the heck does "some concerns I had about 8 year old son in school" even MEAN?

EVERY doctor I have ever dealt with (and even in other professional areas... like lawyers) the people in the front office are doing their job when they filter calls. They know how to help you the fastest... and if you aren't forthcoming with what you need, you are less likely to get it efficiently (or at all). Why not ask the person on the phone your question and for direction?

"My 8 yr old fell and hurt his knee at school. The school nurse saw him, but I am not sure if there is more to it and the school is trying to get out of responsibility for the accident. Does he need to be xrayed? Should I take him to an orthopedist?" etc etc...
But what you asked was wide open... no doctor is going to call you based upon that. Unless you are related to him.

So, in sum, yes, you have unrealistic expectations.

-- Oh... and as for a doctor ever calling me? The only doctor that has ever called me, was MY doctor who was checking on me during a rough pregnancy. I had severe nausea and was near to being dehydrated and he was checking to see how I was doing, or if I needed to come in (for possible hospitalization) or if I was feeling any better, after he had prescribed me a new anti-emitic to try.
He then, when I relayed that I did have some relief, went on to suggest I contact my insurance's mail order pharmacy, b/c it would likely be much less expensive to fill a longer prescription than the trial one he had initially given me.
Loved that man!

I don't think you are over reacting. My son was having sleep issues. So I called and left a message with my pediatrician's nurse inquiring if this was an issue I needed to bring in him for or if he needed to see a therapist.

The doctor called me back, and we spoke for over 20 minutes. She determined that he didn't need to be seen by her but to go ahead and call a therapist and then referred me to her top three choices of therapists.

I thought he might need a sleep study. She said no that she would go straight to the therapist.

I always at least get a call back from the nurse with a message from the doctor. But when I felt I really needed to speak with her...she did call me.

I sent her a thank you note. And she was right after two therapy sessions we had the problem solved. :-)

Doctors are very busy. If you have to speak with them about an issue re: your child you need to make an appt, go in and speak with them about the issue. Most likely the call would last longer than 3 min and they have patients waiting to be seen. Patients, whose parents took the time to make an appt and bring in their child. At my peds office I don't speak to the doctor unless I come in, if I have a question I ask the nurse and she relays my question to the doctor and the nurse calls me back with a response. Make an appt and go in.

I'm wondering if you have Kaiser Permanente because a lot of doctors (but not all) from Kaiser are like that. But I don't think there's Kaiser in Illinois.

You said that the message you left was that you had some concerns about your son and you wanted advice. And that you believe it would be a 5 minute phone call at most. Please note that this message you left was very general. Because you didn't leave a more specific message, your doctor probably didn't know whether it would take 5 minutes or 50 minutes, and that's the reason he said to make an appointment. Just something to think about. Maybe next time, you should leave a more specific message like, "my son has a rash on his stomach with a fever of 102. does he need to come and see you or can he just let it run its course?"

Some doctors are good about returning phone calls or emails and some doctors are not. If this is a deal breaker and you want a doctor who returns phone calls and emails promptly, you should find one that does. No reason to stay with your doctor and try to remain "loyal" just because you've been with him for 8 years.

I think you are overacting & not respecting your pediatricians time. Having said that , I think , if the fact that the doc wouldn't call you back is causing to look for a new provider... You can probably find an overly generous provider that could be reached by phone or email.
My kids pediatrician has called me before. Do I expect her to call ?- No. I always leave a detailed message with the nurse & assume I will get immediate home care instructions from the nurse , an appointment time, or a " I don't know, let me get w/ doc & call you back". A few times out of an 11 years & 4 kids w/ the same pediatrician , she has personally called me back. Again, I don't expect her to do so.

I would be on your side IF you left very detailed medical concerns, but you didn't. You have to give nurses first dibs on helping you, that's part of their job. If they can't help you, they will direct you.

I recall 22 years ago on a Sunday morning calling my daughters pediatrician. My daughter was 2 and crying uncontrollably, not acting herself. The Dr asked me if I really felt it was necessary for us to see her, her office was closed but she met me at the hospital to look her over. My daughter had her first case of strep throat. This was in Oak Park, so a very busy chicago suburb.

Things have changed for the worse, we are now numbers not patients. I think you are over reacting, unless you just don't like this Dr, I would let him explain himself.

The other Dr that called me back was the oral surgeon that took out my daughters wisdom teeth. I called him to let him know my daughter was in the hospital due to getting a massive infection. He called me several times a day because he was nervous about his botch job.

1.Most doctors don't get paid for the time they spend on the phone with patients.
2. They are usually already rushed to see the patients who have scheduled appointments.
3. And they can be held legally accountable for the advice they give over the phone, so typically they want to see a patient in-person to make sure they are giving appropriate advice.

I think a doctor should be available for your calls.. it's not like you asked the doctor to drop everything and run over to the phone..
In this day and age, for what we pay for medical (even if insured) the premiums are still high, I expect to be able to call a doctor and get a response, even if it takes a day...
I'd look for a better doctor...

That's crazy! I can call my pedi anytime to ask a question. It's especially offensive because you've been a long time patient. Definitely start looking for a more accommodating practice. Good luck!

I don't ever remember in my life talking with a doctor over the phone. Nurses, yes. But if I want to talk with a doctor I make an appointment, so he/she can bill for it, and I get the time to get my questions answered. Sorry, professionals need to be paid for their time, not give out free advice over the phone.

My pediatrician always called me back if I left him a message - that was one good thing about him.

I don't think you're being unrealistic but I would clarify the policy with any prospective physicians going forward.

Sounds like he wants a billable moment. But I'd at least give him a chance to explain himself and then let him know I'm seeking a practice that can better meet my family's needs.

I talk to the nurses at our office all the time. I've never asked to talk to the doctor. Once they did consult with him and then call me back. I have talked to my own doctor many times on the phone, however.

I don't think you are overreacting. A phone consult is a perfectly acceptable way to talk to service providers.

I think that if you can't be bothered to explain to the nurse what your concern is and let the doctor determine if it requires a visit, then you can't complain about the doctor wanting to skip a couple of steps and just eyeball it for himself/herself. This particular method sounds more efficient to me. I am NOT a doctor and am not in the same kind of demand, but I only return calls when people tell me what they want. Messages of "Call me" get tossed to the bottom of my stack. That's why the nurse is there, to field these calls.

In order to make things simpler with my own doctors, I type it all up in a fax and send it. When it comes to my son's doctor, I call and leave a detailed message and let them decide how to proceed, unless I already know that I want to bring him in. I give them all the information that I have and let them do what I trust them to do in the way that works for them. You are trying to run their office, and they're not letting you.

Also, they get paid for their time. However you feel about it, that's how the billing works. They are in a position to charge for their time and for their advice. If you think that you deserve a return call from the doctor directly, then you had better be willing to give him/her a heads up so your case can be worked into the workflow. Otherwise, you're being a disruption.

It will give you 20 min w the doc. No?

My kid's pediatrician was always able to call me back after hours. And my husband's chronic care doctor also returns calls. My older relative's doctor just gave her his cell phone number, in case a new medicine caused her any concern. We never abused these calls, but sometimes a five minute call is exactly what you need.

I know you will be looking for a new doctor, but for now, I would stay with the one you have. It seems to me that he knows your child's history and would be the best one to help you with school concerns. All my best.

Updated

My kid's pediatrician was always able to call me back after hours. And my husband's chronic care doctor also returns calls. My older relative's doctor just gave her his cell phone number, in case a new medicine caused her any concern. We never abused these calls, but sometimes a five minute call is exactly what you need.

I know you will be looking for a new doctor, but for now, I would stay with the one you have. It seems to me that he knows your child's history and would be the best one to help you with school concerns. All my best.

He see's other patients all day. You need to make an appt. It doesn't matter how long you've been a patient. It's not about status, it's a medical practice.

I just asked my friend who is a pediatric nurse and she said that the nurses can answer simple questions over the phone (at her office). The doctor does not make calls because he is too busy.

The only dr who ever called me was a dr who lied to me about the charge of my braces. He had me sign a contract (and like a dummy-I did). I did not read the fine print and he got me for an extra thousand dollars. He told his office manager to have me call him on his cell.

What about the teacher or the school nurse? I can't even schedule an appt without a nurse calling back if I have a sick kid. Which is usually a 4 hr wait.